#lore!writes

I dream of you every time we fall apart. You haunt the memories I don't even have. Everything I refuse to think about comes at night; all the fantasious scenarios, with you by my side.

It is my greatest dream To come home to you To your piano  To my books. To our life. My greatest fantasy; to fall asleep to the sound  of your sonatas and sharp intakes of breath as the world around you narrows to your music,  and mine to dreams of past lives where music was all there is.  All there ever has been. I crave to pick a book and submerge my existence into a world with the soundtrack of your passion; while mumbling about the intricacies  of the masterpieces your fingers dance to. I yearn the day I can open the key lock To the sound of a future; a music-filled adventure. To the sound of Rachmaninoff saying "welcome home". Wake me up with Tchaikovsky, play me Mozart to sleep.  Touch me with every piece you  devote your soul to, and I will always come home to you.

There's places of people you'll never be able to reach. Specks of their universes you cannot light when darkness reaches. Smiles you can't coax and hugs

All the names I have called you

There are things I know for certain:

It is not that I crave freedom; it's that I crave knowledge:  The knowledge of myself. Who will I be? When there is no one to be accountable towards.  What is the future that I will carve for myself?  the path no one else will take in my place.  Who am I? when no one truly cares.

My heart is a fortress: Safeguarded by the walls of tradition Protected by the towers of long-standing fears and horror-filled legends.
 My watchmen are demons; Angels who once, sworn to protection, Have now taken over and filled my hallways with shackles and bolts. “Guard your heart…” There are days I lie awake and ask myself if this is what they meant. My heart is a fortress: cold, intimidating. Concealed by the shrubbery of knowledge; ensconced in the forest of academics Books and study. Study: learn, acquire, “your only duty”.    You are not a dragon: they are loud, fierce, mighty. You are the summer breeze. Penetrating all my castle walls, filing them with ideals Thoughts, hope, happiness Love. You are not a wonder; you are the axis of the universe. Everything draws me to you Like two magnets I was pulled. I should have known my walls were good for me That my cold shackles were for my safety But I let you in And I payed dearly. Now everything is crumbling, Every hallway filled with the dead leaves your summer breeze brought to die within my walls and accompany my sorrow. All is brittle All is cold All is gone So I close the gates; I rebuild my walls. I clean the leaves and I start over again.