I'm fine with my spite, my tears and my candles.

It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real

$30 is the new $20 which we all know is an adult $1

Official Wednesday post

It's Tuesday

Happy "Not Only Is It Not Friday, It's Not Even Thursday, Official Wednesday, It's Tuesday" Monday, everyone

I don’t know how we’re letting trump get away with all this shit when I truly believe that if you threw a blanket over his head he would think it was nighttime and go to sleep like a bird

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

I want to be absolutely clear that, when I write an alcoholic character, it's because I think that alcohol addiction and drinking to excess are cool. Just like when I write a criminal, I'm trying to persuade you, the reader, to take up a life of larceny and murder. Just so long as that's understood.

Oh good, because that's 100% the message I take from fictional media. For instance, I watched Hannibal for recipes and relationship advice.

This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

"did my love aid and abet you" is a line to end all lines by the way. did my forgiveness and grace enable you? did you only treat me that way because you knew you could? did i allow you to do that to me because i didn't stop loving you? i love you, it's ruining my life

i actually never ever want AO3 to be censored bc nothing is more fun than reading the tags on a fic and going “huh. didn’t know there was a market for that.”

squinting at a tag and trying to decide how badly I want to learn a new word