#lordposting

Too many rich people buying medieval castles and then renovating the interior to look like a completely normal 21st century house. Sorry but if you're going to live in a castle you need to commit to the bit. If I lived in a castle I would restore it just enough to be barely liveable and pretend I was a poor but prideful nobleman in his crumbling estate, still clinging to the last vestiges of his family's fading name.

you all hate me for my insane swag. or so my new trustworthy vizier, Bartholemew Snaketongue tells me

only feeding my collared serf gruel rn bc they didn’t grow enough grain in the summer harvest #badserf #lordposting

Sometimes, when I watch the knights coming home from their quests, I wonder — if for only a moment — how sweet the red that coats their swords must taste.

The problem with playing chess is that my opponent is always messing with my plans. Little do they know, before the game I planted a perfectly angled mirror so that I can see all their pieces.

it's just me and my ornamental hermit against the world

Gollum would not be able to beat most people in a fair fight but I know he’s snapping necks when no one is looking