#longprocess

Stripping the ole gal to convert over to my tiny home!

•Car ✔️

•Tiny Home - in progress 🏡

Hello fellow junkies and fuckups!

If you followed my previous post you know that I was trying to getting off methadone with smak. Fucking absurd right?

But not if you think about what nobody tells you. It’s nearly impossible to get off this evil syrup. I did the whole 9 yards, I tapered off from 60mg to 4mg in 3 months.

They told me it was way too fast, and it was. But here’s the thing: Although I’ve been an addict for over 10 years (5 years clean in between), I’d never shot it. Which does make a difference.

I don’t need to get rid off the needle/rush addiction. I’d never known what that feels like. Yet they put me on methadone because in 2018 they still want you to just not shoot up basically, not to heal. It’s a maintenance drug, for who needs to stay out of the needle. I shouldn’t have stayed 3 months on this treatment. They fucked me over. Almost NOBODY makes it to get clean from methadone. The percentage is higher for heroin recovery.

That said, FUCK THE SYSTEM, I decided to get off methadone with H. As I said in my other post: you must be truly exhausted, tired of this whole shit to attempt this strategy. 

So for 6 days I tapered off micro doses of H, from 0,1g to 0,03g, every 24h. I had it in the drawer next to me and I didn’t give a shit. 

It worked ladies and gentlemen!

Well at least it helped massively the first week after finishing methadone. Because what nobody will tell you is that unless you taper down of 1ml every 2 weeks for years there is no chance you won’t suffer at the end. None. You WILL suffer more than H cold turkey and for weeks.

The only thing I rule in favor of this therapy is that it creates a distance between you and HER. She's not there everyday. And, most of all, it tires you so much and it feels such like a fucking jail that you wanna get over with it and with the whole fucking thing once and for all.

Well that’s all folks! Another day another...sweaty, goosebumpy, restless legs day trying not to fuck up my professional life completely.

If you relate, wanna talk or have advices please leave some comments I’d so appreciate that!

Thank you and good luck for whoever is struggling with withdrawals and cravings.

Here below the heroinE of my youth, Christine F.

I’m sure many of you know her first book: Christiane F and the Kids of the Banhoff Zoo. It’s a an awful story but for a young mind can be somehow appealing in a decadent way. If you dig dark shit of course.

But if you really wanna get scared about the consequences you should read her second book: My Second Life. The relapses, the hepatitis, they take away her kid, the liver cirrhosis and I mean shit you really don’t wanna go through if you’re still on time. Oh and guess what? She never made to getting clean from methadone.

Your participation to this blog would mean the world to me.