#long writes

so when he begged you to come to that party, you said yes. because no matter how much you tried to deny it, you always said yes to him. the most popular frat boy at jjk university wanted his nerdy best friend by his side—how could you not? and for a while, you thought it would be like every other night. satoru glued to your side, throwing snarky comments your way, protecting you from the drunken chaos like he always did.

but this time…it wasn’t.

by 1am you were exhausted. you had a math test in a couple of hours and were ready to head home, except satoru was supposed to be your ride. you searched for him through the crowd for nearly half an hour, irritation growing with every passing second deciding to go up to suguru to see where he is. “oh,satoru?! he’s in the living room!.” he yelled over the loud music that ranged through your ears shouting back a thank you.

when you did—like a huge brick being thrown into your face, you stood frozen, eyes widened, heart beating rapidly fast, as it sunk to your stomach. he was on the couch with a girl on his lap, practically grinding on him as they made out. you didn’t even give him time to see you before you stormed out of the house deciding to just bus home. luckily bus services were still out this late.

that night, your phone lit up nonstop. his name. text after text. missed calls. you muted him. ignored him. left him on read.

that was the day the silent treatment started.

the same morning went like usual, you had your math test, went to history and lastly art where you had—unluckily shared a class with him. when satoru spotted you he tried his usual teasing. ruffling your hair or even poking at you with a pencil but you weren’t budging.

satoru could tell something was up with you. you weren’t cursing him out or reacting at anything. “hey..did I do something? you left without a word, and left my texts on read.” he tried to play off with a small snicker but when you didn’t say anything he knew he did something to upset you. he did try for a few more days not giving up from your stubbornness, but when it was clear that you didn’t wanna speak to him he decided to leave you alone. stopped texting you, stopped messing with you in class, and even stopped coming to your apartment unannounced.

you guys didn’t talk for almost two months.

almost.

that’s until your friend practically begged you to go to a frat party. saying you’ve been digging your nose into text book and need to let loose. you tried to decline his offer, but after begging and whining you finally gave in. everything was going well, you had a few drinks, your friend was practically hammered after his 5th one, leaning against the counter just laughing at his idiotic actions. you were actually enjoying yourself until your attention was taken away from a bunch of whooping and yelling. you were confused, raising a brow taking a sip of your drink, looking around to see what was happening.

beside you, you could hear little words being exchanged by a few girls. one was fixing her hair as the other was retouching her make up, “do I look okay?.” you tried to listen closely to see if they knew what the commotion was all about, but you instantly figured it out when you seen him. walked in like he owned the place. backwards red cap, with a white shirt that hugged his arms just right with jeans on, carrying that smug smirk like he always did. you scoffed. “of course.” taking another sip feeling the vodka burn your throat as your eyes were glued on him.

he didn’t see you at first, but when he did, his smirk faltered. dark blue eyes now looking your direction, when you both made eye contact you instantly looked away. satoru scoffed clicking his tongue, turning his head walking through the rest of the crowd. you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t say your heart sunk the moment you saw him, feeling a strong pulse through your body…he looked… hot. you bit your lip slightly groaning to yourself, chugging the rest of your drink. 

as the night went on the more tension was building up. he was watching you through the entire night interacting with guys who had a nasty smirk on their face. he was getting possessive by the hour. just seeing you laugh at another dudes joke pissed him off, and just his luck he got dragged into a game. spin the bottle. when your friend heard all the commotion about a game, you tried to avoid it, going outside to hide but he practically forced you to join, and just your luck he was there too. you heard a few whispers “who let the nerd join?.”

“well at least she’s cute.” etc etc. you were used to it by now, rolling your eyes, but you couldn’t get over the fact that there was a chance of the bottle landing on him. 

so the game begun. each time the bottle spun you secretly hoped it wouldn’t land on satoru, knowing why most girls were even here to play, your heart skipped a beat each time it passed him only for it to go to a different guy. you sighed in relief each time, but tried to not make it obvious hearing the girls groan. by the time it came to his turn you tried to not seem nervous but you were. satoru clicked his tongue spinning the bottle, it was like slow motion. as the bottle spun passing you at least three times it couldn’t have landed on you right? wrong.

it landed straight on you.

you could feel your heart stop, getting numb to the sounds of hollering and whooping as you both stood up. before you even knew it, you were both shoved into a closet. the door slammed, with a muffled yell. “7 minutes starts now!.” your back pressed against the wall, arms crossed as if that alone could protect you. with a shaky breath, you pushed your glasses up, forcing yourself to stay composed even though your pulse was hammering in your ears.

he stood a few feet away, silent. the dim light barely touched his face, but you could still see the way his eyes lingered on you—steady, unblinking, unreadable.

the air between you grew heavier by the second.

you refused to speak first. if you have to sit in silence for the whole 7 minutes. you will. he knows that too. you’re a very stubborn women, and it pisses him off that you were, you felt his gaze linger on you for far too long thinking it’s been 7 minutes already. it was cramped, filled with heated tension. this was torture. you were feeling even more nervous by the way his eyes were lingering on you. it was silent. your heart beating fast, satoru’s soft breaths being heard.

but you refused to break, even as the silence pressed down like a weight on your chest. seven minutes had to be over by now—had to be. but when your eyes flickered toward the clock, his voice finally cut through the stillness, low and deliberate.

“what’s your problem?”

your stomach dropped. he shifted closer, the space between you shrinking in an instant. his hand moved—slow, deliberate—until it hovered just inches away from yours. his face inching closer to yours feeling his breath hit your lips. “why aren’t you speaking’ to me, huh?.”

it felt like the closet had shrunk 10x more being this close with him. being chest to chest, he could practically feel your heart pounding against his. his eyes never left yours and for once in his lifetime he didn’t have that playful smirk. his eyes were dark and serious as he stared into your e/c ones. “look at me.” you pressed your back more onto the wall, refusing. he scoffed, moving his head to be along with your stare, forcing your attention. “so this is how it’s gonna be now huh?…you’re never gonna speak to me again?.” you pressed your lips together, “why do you care.” you muttered.

he clicked his tongue, “why do I care? because you randomly stopped talking to me without explanation.” he leaned more towards your face, stepping closer, but you lifted your chin refusing to back down. “fine. you wanna know why I stopped talking you?.” your voice slightly cracked, feeling your heart sink, but you still stood strong. “because you knew, satoru. you knew I had feelings for you, you knew exactly how I felt about you, you made me feel like I mattered for once, and then—.” you sucked in a breath, fist clenching to your side. “then I find you sucking faces with another person. you left me by myself for two hours, after you practically begged me to come to your stupid party.” 

his eyes widened, realization hitting, shaking his head. “that’s not— that’s not what it was—“

“don’t.” your voice was enough to shut him up. he’s never heard you so hurt before.. “don’t lie to me when I seen it for myself.” he hated that he’s the reason you’re so hurt, but could he really be upset with you for having a valid reaction?. “y/n—“

“funny thing is..” you trailed off with a scoff, “I don’t even know why i’m still mad. It’s kind of my fault anyways, thinking a frat boy would be loyal.” hearing that made his breath hitch. “you could have anyone you want, with your cocky attitude, your jokes, looks—“ 

“and maybe—just maybe that’s the problem.” you let your words sink into him. like a harsh paper cut, he had no words. he didn’t have his lies or excuses to throw your way. he didn’t know what to say. he fucked up. “besides. I bet there’s guys out there who doesn’t see me as a fucking toy.” that’s what caught his attention, his eyebrows furrowed immediately shaking his head. “that’s not true—“

“then why kiss me?. look me dead in the eyes right now and tell me why?.” when he did, he saw so much emotion run through them. anger, hurt, confusion, he opened his mouth to explain but when he couldn’t find the right words— it was silent.

knew it.

you scoffed shaking your head. “you’ll never change will you?” you whispered, letting your voice break. when you heard the door being pulled open, you felt relief wash over you, pushing past him to walk out. he just stood there, arm on the wall of where you stood deep in his thought. he fucked up big time. he didn’t follow you, he didn’t chase you. he deserved this, even if it hurt. his chest felt tight, and for the first time ever gojo satoru didn’t feel untouchable. 

he feels like he just lost you.

the music hit you like a wave when you stepped out, blinding lights and sweaty laughter pulling you back into the chaos. you swallowed hard, fighting the sting behind your eyes as you forced yourself to blend into the crowd. you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. not here. not now. the many emotions that were flying through your head got interrupted but someone shoving a cup towards you, “drink up!” they slurred, you gave a small thin grin, looking down at it. 

grateful for the distraction. 

you leaned against the counter, sipping slowly, trying to ignore the weight of his absence behind you. but your chest still burned, still throbbed with every word you had just spilled. you felt blank, numb at the fact. did he even care? did he— “hey, you okay?” said a voice breaking you out of your thoughts, it was deep and smooth. looking up, you turned to see a guy—tall, dark-eyed, a smile that’s a little too charming, leaning next to you. “you look like you could use some company.” you raised a brow, “do I?”

“hell yeah.” he grinned sliding his hand into his pockets, also leaning against the counter next to you. “what’s a pretty thing like you doing at a party like this anyway?” he asked with a raised brow, dark eyes looking at you, you went to answer but before you could respond you felt the air choke up your words. you didn’t have to look to know who it was—because the moment satoru stepped out of that closet, it was like the whole room tilted. his messy hair framed his sharp features, his jaw tight, and his normally lazy eyes were narrowed straight at you.

his gaze dropped to the guy standing too close, the way he leaned in like he had a chance. something ugly and fierce twisted inside satoru’s chest. the other guy noticed it too. his smirk faltered just slightly, but not enough to make him back off. “friend of yours?” he asked you casually. you sipped your drink, eyes flicking from one to the other. “not anymore.” 

you didn’t miss the way satoru flinched from your answer, his hands twitched slightly, jaw clenching so tight you it could practically break. “good. then I don’t gotta worry about him.” you snickered at the comment even when your chest was aching, even though you knew damn well you weren’t completely over him. but for once— this one time you want him to feel what you felt that night. 

you wanted him to realize what he lost. even if it hurt.

as the night went on, all he could do was stare at the way that guy was making you laugh—touching you. watching as you just let it happen, the instinct to walk over and tell the bastard to fuck off was an urge. something he’s always did when you looked uncomfortable—but this time…this time you looked more confident. was it because you wanted to get him back? If so it was working.

but deep down he knew he didn’t have that right anymore. to be possessive over you like he was before. he sat still, ignoring the way girls tried to claw for his attention, because throughout everyone here, he wanted yours the most. but he fucked that up. his eyes darkened as the guy touched your arm again, leaning close enough to whisper something that made your lips curve. satoru’s chest burned at the sight. he hated that laugh. not because it wasn’t pretty—it was, but because it wasn’t real. he knew your real laugh, the one that bubbled up uncontrollably, the one that made his own chest ache with warmth. and this wasn’t it.

still, he couldn’t look away.

your eyes flickered for a slight second, he caught your eyes, swearing you wanted him to see this happen and maybe that was the truth. you wanted him to feel how you felt, choosing to give your smile to someone else. that soft smile he loves so much, it was aching to see that. to give your soft side to someone else. his fingers twitched at the sight, finally looking away, drowning himself with the rest of his drink. the longer he thought about it, the more he was thinking. he might actually lose you.

and he had no one to blame but himself.

-

-

-

it had been two weeks since your last interaction with him. two long, brutal weeks of silence that clung to you like a weight. every day felt heavier than the last—two weeks of satoru realizing just how much empty space you’d left in his world, and two weeks of you realizing how deafening that silence was without his constant teasing and laughter. no texts. no calls. not even a dumb meme sent at 3 a.m. when he knew you couldn’t sleep. just silence. dead silence. 

and maybe that’s what you wanted—space. but the cruel irony was that even space hurt. your chest ached with it. you told yourself you should be happy, free. but instead, it felt like you were suffocating, like every breath was caught in your throat without his stupid grin to ease it. you huffed, shaking the thought away as you highlighted another line in your history reading. but the truth was, you hadn’t absorbed a single word all week. the library had become your escape, your cage, your punishment. you kept burying yourself in notes and books, but your mind refused to let go. 

could you really stay mad at him forever? maybe there was an explanation—maybe he had a reason. the questions never stopped clawing at you, sending your emotions spiraling. if it were any other guy, he’d already be gone from your head, erased without mercy. but this was satoru. he wasn’t like anyone else. you loved him. and that was the cruelest part—because even after what he did, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. you dropped the highlighter and sank back into your chair, heart heavy. the past two weeks had been nothing but him. every routine, every place you touched, bled with reminders of him. 

running to the market late at night. coffee from your shared favorite café. the blossom tree you’d always sat beneath when you needed the world to stop. all of it—ruined by memory. you should despise him. you should block his number, erase his name, burn every piece of him from your life. but you couldn’t. because if you did, your heart would shatter even more than it already had. you missed him. and missing him felt worse than the anger. it burned through your chest, hollow and raw—the goofy jokes, the way he smirked when he knew he was annoying you, the way he stepped in when creeps wouldn’t take a hint. 

every piece of him still clung to you. you sighed, tracing your finger across your notebook, ears perking at the sound of commotion by the library entrance. just a group of guys, laughing too loud. you looked, lingered too long, then forced your gaze back down. hours blurred by. at nearly 11 p.m., you were running on fumes, but you refused to stop. it was only you and the librarian now—her quiet kindness keeping you there after hours. then—the sound of a cup sliding across your table. you froze. your eyes fell to the coffee, then lifted slowly—your breath catching in your throat. satoru. messy hair covering his eyes, red hoodie, black joggers. hands stuffed into his pockets, but for once no cocky smirk plastered on his face. 

just him, raw and unpolished, staring at you. your glare faltered, but you dropped your eyes back to the cup. you said nothing, just lifted it and sipped—hating yourself for how your heart betrayed you, fluttering just because he remembered your order. “are you gonna talk to me now?” his voice was tentative, almost boyish, carrying a weight you hadn’t heard before. “it’s been two weeks, y’know…” you snorted, forcing a grin. “wow. you can count.” his sigh was sharp, frustrated, but he pulled out the chair anyway, sinking across from you. your eyes stayed glued to the laptop screen, though your pulse raced, louder and louder. “are you really going to shut me out? just like that?” his voice cracked at the edges, desperation bleeding through. 

“why are you here.” the words came flat, sharp, but your throat was tight. he ran a hand through his messy hair, a nervous habit. “because i can’t stand it anymore. i can’t stand not talking to you. every time i see you, i want to go to you. every day i want to hear your voice. i miss you. and i want to fix this.” your eyes finally lifted—and for the first time, you saw him stripped bare. vulnerable. his voice breaking, his eyes restless, begging without words. it made your chest ache. “you can hate me. you can scream, curse me out, hit me—hell, throw your coffee at me. i’ll take it. i deserve it. just… don’t shut me out.” your throat burned. your hands twitched. you wanted to say “fuck off.” you wanted to tell him to leave you to your pain. but you couldn’t. the silence stretched until you finally whispered, “why?” his whole body stilled. 

“why did you kiss me, then toss me aside for someone else?” your voice trembled, quiet, but steady enough to cut him open. “because i was scared.” a bitter laugh slipped from you. “scared of what? of turning me down? of being decent for once?”

“no.” he leaned forward, elbows digging into the table, his eyes locking on yours. they were burning, pleading, breaking. “scared of you.” you froze. “you don’t get it,” his voice was rough, cracking at the edges. “with you, it’s not just fun. it’s not some game, not some stupid hookup i can laugh about later. with you, it feels different. dangerous. like if i let myself want you. really want you—you’d have the power to ruin me.” your lips parted, but no words came. he dragged his hand through his hair again, breath shuddering.

 “that night… when she kissed me—i didn’t kiss her back because i wanted her. i didn’t give a damn about her. i let it happen because i panicked. because the closer i got to you, the more i realized how badly i wanted you. and that terrified me. so i did the only thing i knew how to do—i hid. i fucked it up.” his voice cracked, raw and unpolished. “but the truth? i didn’t feel anything with her. nothing. because the only person i wanted that night—the only person i’ve ever wanted like this—was you. and i ruined it. i ruined us, because i was too much of a coward to admit you’re the only one who makes me feel real.” 

your throat closed, vision blurring. his words shredded through every wall you’d built, cutting deep where you didn’t want them to. a laugh tore out of you, shaky, bitter. “do you even hear yourself? you kissed her because you were scared of me? because you…what?actually felt something?” he didn’t look away. 

your chest caved as you blinked fast, trying to fight the sting in your eyes. “do you know what it was like? standing there at that party, searching for you, waiting for you—only to see you with her? i felt like a fool. like everything was in my head. like i was the only one who thought this meant anything.” your voice cracked, and a tear slipped down before you could stop it. you wiped it away harshly, refusing to let him see. “i should hate you, satoru. i should. you broke me in a way i didn’t think i could even break. i should despise you for it.” your chest heaved, uneven, trembling with the weight of it. “but i can’t. god, i can’t.” the words left you in a whisper, but they slammed between you like thunder. 

his hands twitched against the table, aching to touch you, but afraid. his voice was soft, breaking. “i’m sorry.” your eyes shut. a shaky breath left you. your walls cracked, piece by piece, against your will. because no matter how much you wanted to lock him out forever… part of you still ached. part of you still loved him. “i know sorry isn’t enough,” he whispered, finally reaching forward. his hand closed around yours. you flinched, but didn’t pull away. “but give me the chance. let me prove myself. please— let me fix this.”

 “i… i don’t know. I can’t just…forgive you like that. you broke my trust toru.” your voice was small, uncertain. his grip tightened, desperate, begging. heart pounding against his own chest, his eyes reading for a chance. 

“then let me show you. let me prove that i meant every word.”

your lip was bitten, unsure of his word. should you give him that chance? “satoru—“

“please… just let me fix the hurt that I caused you—let me prove that my feelings for you are real.” you closed your eyes taking a deep breath in, you want to believe him. hell, you really did, but you were scared. scared of him backing down on his word, scared what happened that night would repeat again, and he could see it all in your eyes, the hesitation, the sadness you still carried. but even behind that wall, he could still see the small cracks you purposely left open. despite what he did, your heart still left an opening for him to slide through.

when you looked into his blue eyes again, you had your answer. “I—.” you started, voice cracking and strained, torn between reason and the ache in your chest. satoru’s eyes searched yours desperately to hear your answer. you sighed, looking down, then back up looking into his eyes. “you don’t get to hurt me again.” you whispered more to yourself than him, but he caught on, head nodding. “if..I let you back in, if I let myself believe every word you’re saying right now—“ your voice was small, but still strong holding your composure. “then promise me you won’t run away again.” satoru’s grip tightened, his thumb softly brushing against your knuckles. “i’m not running away anymore. not from you—not from us.” all you could do was just nod your head, hating how you leaned into his warmth, you let out a shaky exhale. “then prove it. show me i’m not making another mistake.” when your gaze met his, his smile wasn’t the cocky playful one you’re always used to.

this one was soft. warm. like he had his entire world in the grasp of him hand.  and in that moment, against your better judgment you felt the first crack of hope.

-

-

-

it started small. he didn’t push, no grand gestures, no suffocating apologies, just quiet persistence. he would walk you home after late nights at the library, keeping some distance between the both of you, exchanging small words. “how was studying?” he asked, hands stuffed in his pockets, you humming, “good.” your voice tired but gentle. and he never got upset when your responses were short or dry, as long as you’re talking to him that’s enough for him. 

by the end of the first two weeks, he started to show up during your studying hours. stopping by to either, sit with you, keeping you company, or just dropping by to give you your coffee knowing some days you would work to the the bone. his presence alone, even when he’s not talking or bothering you, doing his own work across from you, you couldn’t help but let your heart flutter. he wasn’t loud and obnoxious, he was…quiet, calm.

by the end of the month, he was making progress. the silence between you were—still a bit awkward and dry, so he made it his goal to break that tension. when he tried to crack jokes like he always did, you would either ignore it or just stare at him. he would frown each time getting nothing but bricks. when he tried to make conversation, it would be dry…like always, with a “good.” “no.” “not really.” “that’s cool.” but each time it would only gave him more motivation. he wasn’t giving up!. 

you guys we’re currently at a cafe of your choice talking about this upcoming art project, as you talked he would just listen, nodding his head following along of what you’re saying. when you were done, you raised a brow seeing the way he was staring at you. “what?.” you asked squinting your eyes, satoru shaking his head but still had that grin on his face, “nothing nothing…you just look happy to talk about stuff you enjoy.” you blinked, then looked straight down at your laptop screen, ignoring his stare. “shut up—and stop looking at me like that..” you murmured still ignoring his eyes. 

“like what?.” he teased, but it wasn’t the mocking tone he always portrayed. it was soft—almost tender. “like you’re the best thing I ever laid eyes on?” you scoffed. rolling your eyes but didn’t ignore theway your heart went soft, and your mouth betraying you feeling the corners of your lips tug upward. just slightly. satoru leaned back in his chair, smiling softly, noticing. “there it is.” he murmured to himself, but you heard it. for the first time in weeks—almost a damn month the silence that followed after wasn’t awkward, it was light. almost like things were getting back to normal.

around the third month, it was no longer awkward between you both. satoru was able to slip in jokes watching how your lips betrayed you into a smile or even hearing you laugh again. that warm bubbly laugh. the walls you had up, were cracking by the day. you didn’t even realize how much until one night— it was a restless night from studying, you yawned as you closed your laptop, getting ready to take a shower and go to bed. as you were gathering your clothes you heard a ding, almost instantly you looked at the notification. it was from him.

you bit your bottom lip, sighing as you placed your phone down. you don’t know why, but even though he gave you the reassurance, your thoughts still betrayed you…going back that night. you shouldn’t even be thinking about that night—he did say he wasn’t going to do anything you wouldn’t like. so why are you thinking about it again? you want to believe him, you were itching to—but the thoughts of that night, replaying in your head over and over, was making your heart sink. was he lying? is he with someone else? what if he’s doing it again? what if he’s making out with someone? all these thoughts running through your head was driving you crazy. but shaking your head, you made your way to the bathroom.

it’s been two hours since he last texted. you tried to take your mind off of it, scrolling through your phone on instagram, laughing at stupid reels you found, but nothing was working. it was making you sick. should you text him? just a small “are you okay?”, and as if he was reading your mind you heard a ding coming from your phone. 

before you could respond, you got an incoming facetime call from him. you rolled your eyes, but clicked the green button, letting the phone connect, “see?” his voice rung out from the other end, he showed you that he was on the couch with suguru next to him, who gave a little sloppy wave, and his other friends by him, “just having fun and drinking.“ he snickered, you hated how your mouth betrayed you AGAIN, letting a small smile creep in, feeling your nerves calm down. “are you smiling?” he said looking back down at the camera to see the small tug on your lips, you groaned, letting your phone drop so he couldn’t see you anymore.

“no, i’m not.” you tried to sound convincing but you heard him chuckle again, “aww you are. come on, let me see your face.” you felt your heart tug even more, “aren’t you at a party? why’re you calling me.” satoru clicked his tongue, “because I wanted to.” you grumbled under your breath, but slowly picked up your phone again, he smiled even more. “there she is.” you guys talked for a good 5 minutes before he told you he had to go. 

when the fifth month had hit, everything was changing. the walls you had up high were slowly shrinking the more the days were coming, you were laughing more, letting your smile be shown again, even letting old habits come to light again. like tugging softly at his hoodie when you needed something, ruffling his hair, even stealing his hoodies again! it almost felt like that night didn’t happen.

you guys were currently walking from the last class you had together, laughing at a dumb joke he made when you both got stopped by a girl, long brunette hair, wearing low rise jeans, with a tank top. 

she was flirty—extremely flirty, she would trail her finger along his chest, fluttering her lashes towards his way—you would expect satoru to engage with it right? he’s gojo satoru, the amazing frat boy that’s popular for his looks and cocky attitude. anytime you guys would walk together, there’s always girls that tries to get his attention. you hate to admit, but you did feel a little insecure. you weren’t like most girls at jjk university, you were a nerd, you stuffed your nose into books, you basically live in the library friday nights to sunday nights studying and working. you wore baggy sweats, and baggy hoodies, sometimes you would wear your glasses sometimes not.

you would think because how satoru looks his type would be into pretty girls—that’s why the ones who approach him are always confident. you had your doubt, face falling a bit but when you looked at his face, it screamed “not interested.” his eyebrow raised, taking her hand of his chest. and before you knew it, his arm slid across your shoulder, with a small smirk. you were taken back, but didn’t miss how she huffed, “you can’t be serious.” you can hear the jealousy in her voice, you couldn’t help but feel a tug at your mouth.

one because it was funny—two because you expected him to flirt back and three…three because he was actually true to his word. you felt like your heart was going to beat out your chest by how fast it was getting. “oh i’m dead serious.” he said with a low tone before practically dragging you to walk away from her. you both could hear her scoff, stomping away. when you guys finally got to your apartment, he stopped. “you okay?” he asked, you softly nodded, grabbing a long his sweatshirt, “I uh well—first thank you for that.” you said satoru giving a small grin, running a hand through his hair with a shrug, “anything for you~” he teased, you scoffed bumping his shoulder, but cleared your throat. “second…I have to talk to you—about…something.” he raised a brow, “about what?”

“just…follow me.”

you softly tugged him by the sleeve leading him inside the apartment, and all of sudden the air before grew much heavier and thicker. you felt as if your heart was going to explode out of your chest, leading him to the living room. satoru tilted his head, white lashes blinking as he looked your way, “don’t tell me i’m about to get scolded for being too charming.” he smirked, plopping down on the couch, as you rolled your eyes. “i’m serious, satoru.” that made his smirk falter a bit, hearing that tone in your voice, sitting up straight, “did I do something?.” you saw the worry in his expression, quick to shut it down, shaking your head. “no!— you didn’t…it’s just—something else.” 

he raised a brow, you sighed, not even realized your hands curling up in the sleeve of his hoodie avoiding eye contact with him. you were nervous, he could easily tell because you never made eye contact, your fingers would always find a place into your sleeve, and you were staggering trying to find the right words to say. satoru softly smiled, trailing his hand to be placed on top of your covered ones, “hey…i’m not goin’ anywhere. take your time.” you looked up to see blue eyes piercing into yours that was filled with nothing but calmness and reassurance. your heart fluttered, getting butterflies in your stomach. 

you took a small breath. “I…I don’t know how to say this, but i’ll try.” you laughed lightly, “what I wanted to talk to you about is us.” his heart skipped a beat, you didn’t look pass how he stiffened up a bit, hand twitching on top of yours. you took another breath, “I don’t want to keep beating around the bush anymore. when I say that I mean, I don’t want to keep pretending or shove down my feelings for you when they grow each day. that night…God that night ruined me.” you chuckled lightly, keeping your stare at your interlocked hands, “I thought maybe I did something wrong for you to choose someone else, thought I wasn’t good enough…I was mad, confused, betrayed? that night I thought it was over for us. I wanted to hate you—for toying with my feelings, despise you even. but knowing how much I loved—love you…I couldn’t.” 

I love you.

his breath hitched at those three words. “I was angry at myself even more when I couldn’t stop loving you, even after that…these past months, you proved your word to me—you didn’t run when things were getting more public, you saw me…” you said shyly with a nervous smile, “so what i’m saying is…I want to give you a second chance.” you said a little shyly looking down, it was quiet. too quiet. too quiet to where you thought it might crush you, your chest tightened a bit, your bottom lip trembling just slightly, pulling your hand away when his grip tightened pulling you closer to him. “say it again.” he whispered, eyes staring straight into yours, your breath hitched, “wha—?”

“say it again.” he repeated, “that you love me.” you swallowed hard, feeling the lump in your throat, feeling your body heat up.

“I love you, satoru.” before you knew it, you felt soft lips crashing onto yours. your eyes widened a bit from shock, but when you came back to reality, your eyes immediately shut closed accepting his kiss. you felt his grin appear on his face as he moved his mouth against yours. it wasn’t rough or messy, it was full of care and love. you placed a hand on his chest, feeling his own heart beating rapidly. after 6 months of gaining your trust back, all he could do was be happy. the kiss lasted a few more seconds before, you pulled away placing your forehead against his. his eyes were shining through the light, seeing all emotions run through them. “you don’t understand how long i’ve waited to do that.” he laughed lowly, both hands on your cheeks as he just stared at you.

he did have his doubts. that you would’ve gave up on him, or have been too annoyed with him or even someone else swiping you off your feet. before you could say another word, he leaned in pecking your lips. “I.” peck. “love” peck. “you.” peck. “too!.” you giggled trying to get out of his touch, feeling ticklish as he kissed you everywhere. “satoru!, get off me!” you laughed but he only kept going, squirming in his arms as he held you tighter. “never.” he murmured between kisses peppering your cheeks, nose, and jaw until your laughter turned breathless. finally, you shoved at him half-heartedly, your face flushed and warm. “you’re an idiot,” you muttered, but your smile betrayed you. satoru grinned, resting his chin atop your head like he used to, only this time his arms never let go. “maybe,” he said softly, his voice dipping into something gentler. “but i’m your idiot.”

your chest swelled, heart hammering like it might burst out of you. for once, there were no walls, no lingering doubts, no heavy silence choking you. just him, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world. you let out a quiet sigh, fingers clutching the fabric of his hoodie. “don’t make me regret this, satoru.” his arms tightened around you, lips brushing your temple in the softest of promises. “i won’t. not again. you’re it for me.” and for the first time since everything started, you believed him—not because of his words, but because of the way he held you. like he’d never let go. you leaned up just enough to meet his lips again, this time slow, steady, and sure. no doubts. no games. just love.

the relationship between you both started slow, it started off with satoru taking you out on dates. not any ordinary dates—ones where he went all out each time, the first date was when he invited you over to his place, where you walked in to see a very organized set up for movie night. he had skin scare products set up on the table, one his favorite hoodies folded nicely, all your favorite snacks and drinks. when you looked back at him with a surprised face, he only gave a cheeky smile.

from there, it felt like a piece of him was being handed to you. from late night ramen runs after an exam, when he would purposely mess up his order just to give you an excuse to trade bowls. to long walks where he’d lean down to tease you just to hear your laugh. nights at your apartment where he let you put face masks on him, your headband holding his hair in a sprout while you sat on his lap, applying the mask. he would always say things like “i don’t trust anyone else with my skin,” or “i look good, huh? admit it,”  you’d roll your eyes, but the warmth in your chest never left.

it wasn’t just the big gestures with him—it wasn’t just the dates he planned, it was the way he’d carry your bag without asking, or how he’d slow his long strides just so you didn’t have to rush to keep up. the way he noticed when you were tired and shoved one of his jackets into your arms without a word, and the way he ddi everything he promised you he would do. he kept his promise.

then, one night, after another long restless day, the two of you sat tangled on his couch, a drama playing on the tv tat neither of you were really paying attention to. you had your cheek pressed against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart while he traced circles on your back.

“y’know,” he started, his tone unusually soft, “i like this. i like… us.” you tilted your head to look at him, catching the rare hint of nervousness in his usually confident expression. his lips curled into that familiar grin, though this time it was smaller, almost tentative. “I really am grateful you gave me a second chance.” he chuckled lightly, “these past two months of taking our relationship slow, I’ve been thinking.” you raised a brow, now sitting up facing him, “what is it?’ you said softly, satoru humming, rubbing a hand up and down your back with his nails. he took a deep breath, then deep breath out, “would you be my girlfriend?” silence. all that was heard was the sound of hearts starting to beat faster each second, his vulnerability showing as his blue eyes shined through your own. the tv murmured quietly in the background, but it might as well have been a different world—just the two of you existed in that space, that heartbeat, that pause.

you felt the warmth of his hand on your back, gentle but grounding, and the weight of his gaze made your chest flutter. he wasn’t teasing, he wasn’t joking, and for the first time in weeks, you saw a side of him that was entirely sincere, entirely open. “satoru…” you breathed, your fingers brushing over his hand, anchoring him as much as you were anchored by him. “you… mean that?” he nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips, nerves still flickering in his eyes. “every word. i don’t want half-measures, i don’t want games, I said i’m not running anymore. i just… want this. I want you.”

your heart swelled, and a small laugh escaped, shaky but full of warmth. “you’re ridiculous,” you whispered, shaking your head, “but… i think— no, i want this too.” he let out a breath he’d been holding, relief and joy mingling in that quiet exhale, and then he leaned forward, just enough to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “so…?” he asked teasingly, though his voice still held the tenderness that had made your chest ache. “so… yes,” you said, smiling, letting your hands settle over his. “i’ll be your girlfriend.”

his grin widened immediately, that signature spark back in his eyes, and he pulled you into a gentle hug, murmuring, “best decision ever. and in that moment, everything felt like it finally made sense—two people, slowly finding the rhythm of “us,” and finally ready to call it theirs. through hell and back, tears, and heart breaks, you both were still able to come back. “you better not fuck up again.” you said, satoru shaking his head with a soft chuckle, pecking your forehead, “that night will never repeat.” you couldn’t help but smile, “I love you..” you whispered, “and I love you too.”