I WAS gonna go in my translation from LN1 onward, but since the Night Visit of LN13 is being discussed on the dash... should I skip ahead and do that chapter while it's relevant?
(From what I've done so far just from poking at it, it's a LOT clearer that Jinshi is struggling with SA trauma and anxiety earlier than the official suggests. Plus a callback to LN7, with Maomao echoing his words back at him.)
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Maomao has just been told that Meimei has been bought out.
Maomao is so upset. She's so upset that Meimei is gone. She's reciting plants and toxins to try and calm herself down from the idea of maybe never seeing Meimei again. Meimei, her one emotionally most-safe sister.
And of course Joka is not resentful towards Maomao. No way. that is not who "Joka" is. Joka would never be resentful towards that girl with the father who cares for her, who made sure Meimei would be redeemed, the girl who had Luomon as a figure to give Maomao another option when she would have been a courtesan of lower status than Joka otherwise - doomed to be a butterfly of the night who sells her body instead of her art.
Pairin: "Oh, you don't wanna tell us the details? What if i threaten you with sexual assault, Maomao? :3 We're Sisters, remember. Its ok if i do it."
I'M UNCOMFORTABLE <33333333 My god. The teasing would not make Maomao reveal even more, of course. Of course it would not. Of course Maomao is resentful towards Pairin for using a method like that to try and pressure her to say something about her romantic endeavors. Sure this can be read as haha funny jokey but. I'm not laughing!!!!!!!
A patient man. Because Maomao is just so difficult. She just does not let anyone close to her because she is so difficult. No Other Reason. Like perhaps a Deep and Fervent Sense of Inadequacy that You Guys PUT IN HER CRADLE------
Don't just accept his love and affection. You are not good enough. Joka thinks she was not good enough, and so she strived to be better. Maomao should do the same.
Sidenote:
Theres my favorite hand freak...........
There is no point in existing unless you are worth something. It's no wonder Joka and Maomao think such things.........
The reason why you shouldn't read while eating is that scenes like that might show up, and the food is gonna enter the wrong way while you're laughing like crazy.
I was thinking about Maomao and Jinshi’s social lives and it’s interesting to note that Jinshi doesn’t actually have one. Maomao is the only person Jinshi does not-work-related activities with and even then many of those interactions still revolve around work.
There’s a stark difference between the reunions with their families after returning from the Western Capital.
Maomao and her sisters have a warm reunion. They catch up on everything Maomao is able to share. Joka and Pairin realize their little sister has fallen in love and they tease her while also giving her advice.
In contrast, Jinshi’s visit to the Emperor and Anshi is purely part of his duty. He kneels before his “brother” and delivers his report in a room full of people. The only personal remark he receives is a comment about his weight loss. Similary, Anshi, who we learn, has grown more distant toward Jinshi since he entered the Rear Palace, offers nothing more.
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It was a story that was out at the same time as the LN 13 on Satoru Yamaguchi's blog. I'm unfortunately not confident enough in my translation skills to try to translate it so I'll just make a summary (though it's quite precise). It happens when Catarina and Cezar went to visit the orphanage together. It's the POV of a little girl of the orphanage.
Amy, a little girl lost her parents who died a few years ago and she was taken in the orphanage ever since. People sometimes say that it must have been hard for her but she never thought about it that way. Although loosing her parents was sad and painful, her life has improved.
Her family was very poor and barely made ends meet so they didn't have enough to eat
But since she came to the orphanage, she has been able to eat three warm and delicious meals each day, and has even been taught how to study. Her health has improved, and she doesn't get sick anymore.
Since coming here she has a dream.
One say she noticed everyone running off noisily toward somewhere, she got curious so she followed them
A carriage stopped in the garden, and everyone was gathered there.
At the center of the group there was a beautiful woman with brown hair and light blue eyes who had been there many times before.
(note : The children call Catarina and the harem members with the words "Big sister" and "Big brother")
Catarina was surrounded by the little children who ask her to play with them, smiling.
She always plays with them with all her might, and is very popular with the little kids.
The girls whispered to each other how cool he was while looking at a handsome man with brown skin and black eyes who seemed to have came by carriage with Catarina. It was the first time they had seen him.
Catarina is also a beautiful person but the people who come with her are always beautiful. Both men and women. So everyone gets a little nervous when Catarina and her friends come over.
A boy asked Catarina for a treat and when he received it he ran off happily.
Catarina's snacks are always delicious; so they are very popular
As if unable to bear the sight of Catarina being surrounded by the little ones and unable to move...
“Hey, little ones, Big sister Catarina just got here. You should let her rest a bit before you go play.”
It was Liam who spoke.
He was a boy of the same age as her who came in the orphanage a few months ago.
Liam came from a different country, so at first Amy was a little scared of him. He always seemed angry, and even when someone called out to him he didn't respond, and he was always alone.
So everyone kept their distance.
He ran away from the orphanage a few times, and that caused a big fuss, so everyone started to distance themselves from him even more.
But Liam changed after Catarina and her friends came.
His attitude towards everyone improved, he started participating in his studies, he started spending time with everyone, and he started smiling. He became very kind and gentle.
Not only Liam, but Amy's life has also changed since she was taught how to make sweets by Catarina's friend, Maria.
Up until now, she didn't have anything in particular that she wanted to do. She didn't like or dislike studying, and the same for her other works, so she just spent her days doing whatever. She also just
made sweets because she had to, much like a chore and didn't find it that much fun.
But after hearing Maria's tips and detailed instructions for making sweets, she began to think that baking was fun for the first time.
When people said the sweets she made were delicious, she felt so happy that she wanted to make them again.
Whenever she saw people smiling after eating her sweets, she feels very happy.
Back at her home she had never eaten sweets, and at the orphanage they took turns making them, but she didn't think they were that tasty.
Sometimes the sweets that people from outside give them as gifts are especially delicious, but she thought that they were something that only special people could make.
But with the help of Maria, she was able to make sweets that made everyone smile and say that they were delicious.
From there, she studied baking. For the first time, she felt that studying was fun.
She thought that if she studied hard, she would gradually become better at baking.
She wanted to work in a confectionery shop, making sweets that would make everyone smile. That became her dream.
It was the first dream she had ever had, but she felt embarrassed to tell anyone about it, so she didn't tell anyone at the orphanage.
But one day, when she made some sweets and handed them out to everyone,
"The sweets Amy makes are really good. I think they could sell "
Liam said after taking a bite.
The other people around him who were eating the sweets also said things like :
"That's right. It looks like these sweets are already for sale," and
"Maybe you could become a confectioner"
She was happy to hear that, but also embarrassed and couldn't honestly tell them how happy she was and how she felt too.
"Do you want to be a confectioner, Amy ?"
Liam asked her with a kind face.
She knew that Liam wasn't the type of boy who would tease or make fun of others, so she was able to tell him
"Yes. Actually, I want to be a confectioner in the future."
Liam told her that her sweets are really delicious and that he'll support her if she wants to open a sweet store.
She was so happy that her face got hot.
From that moment on, Liam became a special boy to her.
Liam invited Catarina to rest in the dinning room and tells her that he will make her some tea. Catarina is surprised that he can make tea and Liam answers that he can but he can't make one proper enough to please a young lady.
While chatting, Liam seemed to have a lot of fun with Catarina.
Liam is a very attentive boy, but he doesn't behave like this around other people who come to the orphanage.
Only around Catarina.
Liam, Catarina and the others went to the dining hall to have tea.
And Amy followed behind the group.
Liam smiled and went to make some tea, Amy called out to him as he walked away.
"Um, Liam"
"Hmm ? what's the matter Amy ?"
Liam looked back at her with a gentle expression.
Normally she would be very happy, but today she was feeling a little uneasy. Even though she called out to him, she can't get what she wanted to say together.
"Umm, well..."
She mumbled, but Liam didn't get angry and just waited for her with a kind expression.
"Well... sweets."
Those were the words that came out of her mouth.
"Sweets ?"
"Yes, sweets, I want Big sister Catarina and the others to eat them too."
Liam thought it was a good idea since her sweets are delicious and agrees with a smile.
Like that Amy ended up serving sweets to Catarina and the others.
She put the cookies she had prepared in the kitchen onto a plate. Even though she was the one who asked, now she was feeling a bit nervous.
Because even if everyone at the orphanage said her sweets were delicious, judging by the way she dress and behaves, Catarina is definitely a rich young lady so Amy is sure that she is used to eat a lot of delicious sweets.
The thought that her sweets might not suit Catarina's tastes made her nervous, and her heart was pounding as she carried them over.
Catarina noticed the cookies on the plate and told them that they didn't have to add sweets but Liam answered that she wanted other people to try them while pointing at Amy who straightened her back and bowed her head.
Amy told her that she learned how to make sweets from Maria and and that even if everyone in the orphanage tell her they are delicious she wanted to have other people's opinions, while feeling embarrassed and nervous
Liam told Catarina that she used to make sweets before but has improved a lot since she started learning from Maria, to the point that he think that she can sell them in a store.
He said that as proudly as if he was talking about himself and that made Amy's face getting warmer.
Catarina drank the tea Liam made and told him it's delicious. Liam looked so happy that it made Amy's heart flutter.
Catarina put a cookie in her mouth and Amy's heart started pounding. She stared at Catarina and a big smile lit up on her face.
"It's really delicious. I'm sure we could sell them in a store. It'll definitely be a hit !" Catarina excitedly shout
Amy was very happy that a person as used to eat delicious sweets as Catarina told her that hers were delicious.
Liam tells her that since she got the approval of a noble lady she'll have no problem finding a job in a confectionery shop and her face grew hot again.
Catarina adds that it was so delicious that any shop would hire her right away. Amy thinks Catarina is a very kind person.
From there, everyone started talking about their dreams.
It was her first time to hear other people's dreams like this, and she was happy to think that everyone had dreams like her.
When she returned to the dining room after cleaning the dishes, Liam was talking to Catarina and the young man who had come with her. His face was shining with joy.
However, when Catarina left the dining hall, Amy saw Liam following her with his eyes, and her heart began to flutter again, realizing that he really was interested in her.
She was really happy when Catarina praised the sweets, but when Liam looked at her with such intensity, her heart felt uneasy and she couldn't calm down.
Eventually, in the evening, after Catarina and the Cezar have left , Liam, who was also on dinner duty,
"Amy, it's amazing that even a noble lady has recognized your sweets,"
he said with a smile.
With her face getting hotter and hotter, she somehow managed to thank him.
Catarina is a beautiful, kind and wonderful person, and it's understandable why Liam is attracted to her.
But from now on, she will work hard, work hard at making sweets, and study more, and if she can become a wonderful person like Catarina, then maybe one day Liam will look at her with that intense gaze.
I'm at the chapter where maomao talks to joka and I 💖 don't really wanna keep reading 💖 maomao is the child of a foolish woman. joka is the child of a foolish woman. but maomao got what every foolish woman wanted. freedom to do as she pleases. freedom from courtesanship. and joka loves her but she also resents her for that methinks (joka is emotional abusive and distant, pairin is smothering and sexually abusive, Meimei the mediator is gone 💖 fuck 💖)
(sanfan arguing that she should try and be with lahan because he is the only one for her) reading this i keep seeing images of jinshi haunting this conversation. he's always there. nonconsensually.
