Hello. Me again, coming to you from my good ole brain. Dumpin things here so I can get them out of my brain, read if you want- you don’t have to!
I’m having a hard time (tbh with a lot of things but!) with adult friendships. I’m realizing how easy it is to be friends with someone when you are in classes with them or you live with them or you do the same sorts of activities. And how you have to work harder to keep adult friendships.
I’m looking back over my friendships and... I really don’t keep up anyone from high school. My college friends are dwindling at an alarming rate. The people I hang out with right now I hang out with because I see them very often! (Work, OULA, etc). And I didn’t stop hanging out with people because they are bad people or we had a falling out. I think... I might be a bad friend? Like if I don’t see you I don’t make the effort to spend time with you?? I had this idea in my mind that I didn’t stay connected with previous friends because I’m forgettable and people were only friends with me because it was convienent... but what if I’ve sabotaged my own friendships with that mindset? I’ve always felt kind of socially awkward, and I wonder if that contributes to my lack of ability to keep friendships.
I also understand relationships of every kind ebb and flow. Maybe some friendships arent meant to last... but with that mindset how could any friendships last?! I dunno. I’m having lots of thoughts right now.
