#livingwithms

Isn't it bewildering that even when given what feels like devastating news the sky still looks the same?

Things have changed but not in a completely good way. I used to live life as challenge accepted but it has caught up. My body needs help and I need a break. I need learn how to not only be kind to myself but understand that I can and should expect it from those in my life. Bless you today. No, I’m not okay.

I was sitting, well, actually, more like getting ready to head out to one of my many redundant doctors appointments this morning, listing to a podcast story with perhaps only 1/10 of the attention necessary to absorb. It begins with a background retelling of a historical incident within a family. About how someone who had been falsely accused of stealing a treasured family heirloom piece of…

Until what? I feel better. I get the laundry done. Clean up the kitchen. Take care of whatever it is I need to do for someone else. Get pictures done. Get them edited. Make the listings. Product research and comparison. Ship everything, rinse and repeat. Until I figure out how to get everything straight, a real roof over our heads finally. Until someone finally takes a chance and hires me. Fix…

I walked between sparks and shadows. I chose exile. I chose to remember.

Really. I’m not. I want any one reading this to know I’m trying, I haven’t given up…yet ..but…. Let’s talk (continue below) So where do I begin? Ah yes, to start, let’s begin with a tough subject. I want to explicitly state that I am not suicidal. Tempting as it may be to run the truck off a bridge, I won’t. But on the flip side, I am just done. Shortly, when my youngest is grown, there are…

Once again after spending the better part of 3 days convincing my husband that no, I did not say I was right, I didn’t say that what I was thinking the totally correct, but in fact given the nature of the situation, plus information I was given from someone else, then additional research I did online, what I was saying, was that I am worried that a mistake was made. A mistake by the way that…