#livepov

I am currently sitting in my living room watching “A Bronx Tale” with my roommates friend who’s a chinese australian. He was asking why i wasn’t with my roommate at a party, and truth be told, parties can be overwhelming. They’re great when you’re with people that you care about, but it doesn’t matter if they’re all strangers...  So he asks me, “Helen, why aren’t you at that party” and I say “Well, here, we party with our bosses.  It’s great.  but I’m not 21 so if I get caught with a drink in my hands at company property, I’m fucked.”  

It’s quite the thought... 

Change of subject, i think that it’s super interesting the fact that there is such a distance between who we are and who we want to be.  I think, however, that people’s perception of us and who they see us as are just as different.  I suppose you could think about it as a triangle:

                                  Who we see ourselves as

                                                        /\

                                                   /         \

                                              /                  \

                                         /                          \

                                     /__________________\

           who we want to be                           who others see us as

It’s supposed to be an equiangular triangle.  Or that’s what I thought at first.  Then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that to say it was an equiangular triangle and such would be like saying all people have the same perception as I do.  For example: I love the idea of adventure.  It just, living a daring life. And how I see myself is a very cautious person.  I challenge myself, but I wish I was more daring and not so afraid.  But then, people start to talk about me; adventurous and daring seem to be the words they use to describe me...along with quirky...yeah.  I dig my style *nods head up challengingly.  Anyways, the point is, I think my perception of myself and how I see others see me is so different.  But lets be honest, there is so much of life that I have flawed.  Living in a ski town allows you to see how others perceive the world.  Maybe it’s living in a place that has such a diverse community, but for real, it has helped me come to realize that life is so much better in a diverse community than in an area of such closed minds.  

I’m rambling now, I apologize.  But maybe, I should go to Austin to go to school.  The more that I think about it on my own and without the hampering of my mother, the more that I realize I should go back to school.  I should get my degree and hang out with such a diverse group of people as in austin.  Though we all have different political views, no one brings them up because we have this respect for our individuality.  Maybe i’m just a dumb stoner speaking of things I don’t know, but the people that I have had encounters with are so open. 

I think that’s my favorite thing about millennial.  We may be lost, rowdy, know it alls that are thinking we discovered things for the first time when we aren't, but there is so many beneficial things about my generation.  We are creative and for the most part, respectful of each others ways of life.  That’s my favorite thing, we respect each others points of view.  We grew up in a world where being homosexual or bi or whatever is more than okay.  It might be controversial, but people are fairly chill.  

Anyways...I’m rambling and I realize it.  If this makes sense, like this post!