#literally pointless

Your oldest is chattering excitedly in the backseat about spending the weekend with his daddy, while the youngest, still a bit groggy from just have woken up an hour ago, clutches her favorite stuffed animal.

“Alright, monkeys,” you say with forced cheerfulness as you turn off the engine. “Time to go see Daddy.”

Gabriel practically bursts out of his car seat with excitement. You unbuckle Linnie and hoist her onto your hip, grabbing the overnight bags with your free hand.

John opens the door before you can knock, a warm smile spreading across his face as he sees the kids.

“There’s my boy," he grins, kneeling down to your oldest’s level to scoop him up in a bear hug.

Your youngest reaches for John immediately, smiling big around the binkie in her mouth. “And my girl.”

"Hey," you say softly, trying to muster a smile. John stands up, taking Linnie in one arm and holding Gabriel's hand in the other.

It’s then that you notice it—a purplish-reddish mark peeking out from the collar of his shirt.

A hickey.

Your stomach drops, for whatever reason.

"Thanks for bringing them over," John says, his tone casual, as if everything is normal.

“Daddy lets us order pizza!" Gabriel grins, bouncing on his feet.

"That’s great," you reply, your voice sounding distant to your own ears.

You force yourself to focus on Gabriel and Linnie, planting a kiss on each of their heads. "You guys be good for Daddy, okay? Mommy will see you on Sunday."

As you turn to leave, John catches your arm gently. "Hey, are you alright?" he asks, trying to meet your eyes.

“I’m fine, and even if I wasn’t, it’s not your job to check up on me.” You mumble, harsher than intended.

John seems to accept this, releasing your arm with soft sigh. "Drive safe," he says simply.

You barely make it to the car before the tears start to burn your eyes. The sight of that hickey, evidence of someone else in John’s life…

You manage to buckle yourself in and start the engine, your vision blurred by tears.

As you drive away, the weight of your emotions overwhelms you. The road ahead is a hazy blur, and sobs wrack your body. The realization that John is moving on, that he’s finding happiness with someone else, feels like a fresh wound.

You pull over to the side of the road, unable to see through the flood of tears. Your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as you cry, letting out all the pain, frustration, and loneliness you’ve been holding inside.

The thought of another woman touching John, of him caring for her the way he used to care for you, is almost too much to bear.

After what feels like an eternity, the sobs subside into quiet sniffles. You wipe your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and force yourself to focus.

The kids need you to be strong, that’s what you tell yourself.

With a heavy heart, you pull back onto the road and drive home…

But not before sending a quick reply to that Tinder DM that you had been ignoring for the past three days.

•••

John closed the door after you left and set the baby to her feet to toddle around after her brother. He sighed, a lingering sense of guilt washing over him. He couldn't shake the image of the pain in your eyes when you noticed the hickey.

He thought you’d go off on him, get all pissed and possessive. He didn’t think you’d give him the cold shoulder.

After lunch, John lets the little ones down for a nap in their shared room. He tucks the oldest into his big-boy bed and the baby in the crib against the opposite wall of the small room.

Once they’re asleep John heads to the kitchen and makes himself a cup of coffee. He sits at the kitchen table, savoring the brief moment of peace. His phone was on the table, and he picks it up, going straight to Tinder.

A smirk forms on his lips as he sees a new message from the profile he’s been using under the fake name “Jake.”

You: Hey, Jake! I’m free tonight if that works for you? 😊

Jake: Let’s meet at that little Italian place downtown around 8.

He sends the message and puts his phone down, leaning back in his chair. He knows you’ll go to the restaurant, expecting to meet “Jake,” only to find yourself stood up.

He hopes the disappointment might lead you to call him for comfort, a scenario he finds himself oddly anticipating.

Hours pass, and the kids eventually wake up from their naps. John spends the evening feeding them dinner and giving them a bath, all the while keeping an eye on the time.

He plays with them until bedtime, reading them stories and tucking them in once more.

As the clock nears 8 PM, John starts to feel a wave of guilt. He knows what he’s doing isn’t fair, but he can’t help himself.

He spends the rest of the evening cleaning up the apartment and watching TV, waiting for the call he suspects might come.

Finally, around 9:30, his phone buzzes. He sees your name on the screen and his heart skips a beat. He answers, trying to sound casual.

“Hey, love. Everything alright?” he asks, even though he knows exactly why you’re calling.

Your voice sounds strained, and he can hear the disappointment. “Yeah, I just… I went out tonight, and the person I was supposed to meet never showed up. I feel so stupid.”

John’s heart aches hearing you like this, but he forces himself to keep up the act. “I’m sorry to hear that, sweetheart. Wanna talk about it?”

You sigh, the frustration evident in your voice. “I just don’t understand why people do this. Why pretend to be interested if you’re just going to disappear?”

John nods, though you can’t see it. “Men are idiots, lovey. But you know I’m always here for you, don’t you?”

“Yeah… yeah, I know.” You sigh softly. You lie back on your bed, looking up at the ceiling.

“Still there?” John asks gently.

“Still here…” You wipe under your eyes, the wetness from your frustrated tears lingering on your cheeks. “The kids asleep?

“Out like lights.” John chuckles softly.

You smile to yourself, imagining how happy and comfy the kids probably are at John’s right now. “I miss them already.”

“You can come by whenever you’d like.” John says, trying not to sound too eager.

You snort at that suggestion.

“Defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

“Suppose it does.” John agrees. “Unless the kids aren’t the only ones you were missin’.”

You want to roll your eyes, go off on him, explain how inappropriate that was to even suggest…

But your heart flutters. Your cheeks blush.

And you’re lonely.

Your attempt to move on totally failed, and here’s John trying to cheer you up. Maybe that was a sign from the universe.

“John…”

“M’sorry,” John says. “I didn’t mean to… to cross any boundaries.”

You chew your bottom lip a bit as you weigh your options.

“Still with me, lovey?”

“Uh-huh…”

You could practically hear the smirk in John’s voice as he spoke next. “No words, hm? What’s on your mind, then?”

“Just… thinking.”

“Thinkin’ about..?” You swear John’s voice just got huskier, more sultry than it was just a moment ago. You feel goosebumps as you hear John exhale, seemingly shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch. “What has you thinking so hard?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” John grins to himself. “Hope it’s not that fuckin’ dickhead who stood you up.”

“No… not him.” You speak softly.

“Someone else, then?”

You roll your eyes, knowing that John is fishing for a specific answer. “Wouldn’t you love to know, Johnathan.”

“Bet I could guess,” He’s smirking, you know he is.

You sit up, kick your heels off and toss your dress towards the hamper. “Bet you’d be right.”

“Why don’t you come over then, lovey?” John practically purrs. You can’t see it, but John’s rubbing a hand over his inner thigh, palming himself over his grey sweatpants. “Could cheer ya up.”

“Yeah?” You sigh, your hand not holding the phone moving dangerously close to the dampness between your legs.

“Yeah,” John whimpers whispers. “Make ya forget all about that fuckin’ Jake…”

You freeze. You remove your hand from your panties. You sit up fully in the bed.

“What did you say?”

“Hm?”

Your eyes narrow. “I never told you what his name was.”

John’s eyes widen. He sits up as well, clearing his throat. “Sure you did, you- you said it was Jake o-or Joe or something-“

“I can’t fucking believe you.” You scoff, ending the call.

John tosses his phone to the floor, rubbing a hand over his face.