#lisana

“I- Rhys!?” The gray blue haired girl said with exasperation. She stormed up to the dark haired man.

“I can fight! You, Cass, and Azriel all trained me! I can attack in the skies, my wings are strong! An you wont have to worry about me dying, I promise-”

“No.” Rhys looked at Lisana. His tone declaring that the argument was over. However Lisana kept on.

“You know I’m skilled!”

“I know”

“So why wont you let me fight with my people?”

Something snapped in him, “Because, I’m not going to send you to your death while youre still a child.” The fury in his eyes raging, somehow hiding the terror that nearly consumed him. The thought of losing another sister, it would destroy him.

“Well, thats stupid. You were just a few years older than me in the last war. I could help turn the tide in this war. If you would just let me help-”

“Dammit, Lisana- As your High Lord I command you to stand dow-”

“Stop trying to protect me like your my father! News Flash- youre not- so stop trying to act like you are-” Her eyes hard with rage.

Rhys blinked. The only emotion he showed. He felt like he got stabbed with an ash arrow, breathing became a chore. He evened his breathing as looked into Lisana’s eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes, the same colour as her hair, filled with a fury and regret he’d never seen before.

“You’re right” And he walked out of the room. The anger in her eyes haunting him. Feyre, his wife, followed him out of the room to make sure he didn’t do anything rash.

Oh screw me and my big fat mouth

Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“Lis…” Cassian said, watching the entire exchange.

“He’s the closest thing to a father you have-”

“I know. I- I- I- don’t know why I said it- I-”

“You wanted to hurt him like he hurt you.” Lisana sucked in a breath. Remembering the hurt in Rhys’ eyes, even though he tried to conceal it. Fifty years. Fifty years he was under that mountain. And yet he did everything in his power to make Lisana’s childhood the best it could be in the circumstances. He taught her to walk, talk, protected her from as much as he could, made sure she was fed, warm, healthy. Everything her “real” father didn’t have the chance to do.

“I- I didn’t mean it-” Cassian pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

“I know kiddo. But I don’t think he does.”

“I want to fight-”

“Lis, you’re fourteen, you have no business fighting in a war.”

“But- theres nothing else I can do! All of you are vital to this plan, but me? I get to sit on my ass and watch while everyone else goes running towards their deaths.”

Cassian said nothing as he held her. Gently stroking her head, trying to soothe her as she cried into his chest.

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Rhys was in no better shape. He sat in Feyre’s embrace, tears already dried.

Memories flew through his head.

A little chubby baby with curly sky blue hair chewed on her fist. Rhys just stared at the baby, not knowing what to do. Amarantha told him to raise her to help him with his job when she was old enough. But Rhys already knew that he wouldn’t allow the demon to lay a finger on the baby.

“Do you have a name little one?” He asked the infant. She just stared with her blue eyes at him, reaching for his long bangs. She couldn’t have been more than three months old given her wings hadn’t started to break through yet. She finally got a grasp on his hair and yanked.

“Ack- The hell- heck was that for?!” The baby just giggled, causing him to giggle. Giggle. Something he hadnt done for thirty-six years. This baby was a gift from the Mother.

“I know, I’ll call you Lisana” Gift of Mother.

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“Shh, shhh I know” The baby was whimpering softly. Her back sore and bright red.

“The pain will go away soon, I promise” Remembering how all the babies back at the war camps would cry when their wings came in. The whimpering didn’t stop, she just clutched his shirt, eyes clamped shut. His heart ached, wishing he could take the pain away from her. He lied to Amarantha, saying she caught a severe chill and needed constant attention and needed to be isolated from everyone else. Just so he could escape for a few weeks and wait until the wings came in so he could glamour them away, knowing Amarantha would clip them the moment she discovered them. The thought made him go red with rage.

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“You can do it!” Rhys said as he stood the baby up on her feet, she had been practicing standing, and now was itching to walk. Rhys walked away, so she could walk to him. Only for her to decide she didn’t want to do that, sitting on her bottom. Rhys’ shoulders shook with laugher. He went to stand Lisana up once more, helping her balance with the extra weight of her wings. He went back to his position, arms stretched out. Lisana took one, two, three steps before she fell into Rhys’ arms. He lifted her up praising her. The little baby laughed, squealing with joy.

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“Come on Lisana, just one word please” The only thing he got in response was incoherent babbles. He hung his head, about to give up for the day when he thought he heard her say something.

“What was that?”

“Staws” Stars. She said stars. She started saying the new word over and over again, seeing the joy in Rhys’ face. He just hugged her, promising to get her out of the mountain and to Velaris.

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“Why do you have to leave?” He didn’t know how to answer her. “It’s always so cold when youre not here.”

“I’ll be back by morning, Lis.”

“Will you tell me about Cass and Az before you go?”

“Again? I’ve already told you mostly about them.”

“But-” The girl had pleading eyes.

“Fine-” he patted his leg, the young girl crawled into his lap.

“Cassian is one heck of a brute. His arm is probably as wide as your head.” he chuckled at how big the girl’s eyes got. “He’s got this…. Smirk, that makes you worry for what he’s about to say. But he’s a good man.”

“Would he like me?”

“He would love you. He always wanted a little sister.”

“What about Az?”

“He dances with the shadows. And people are usually scared of his cold features, but he is one of the most sarcastic people I’ve ever met.”

“If we ever get out, would he teach me to fly?”

“Of course, he would love to.” If. The word rang through Rhys’ head. As much as he tried to protect his little girl, she still was thrown head first into reality.

So before he went to Amarantha, he told of his family, told story after story. When he realized that she was asleep, he carried her to his bed, kissing her forehead and whispering a quick “Sweet dreams, I love you” before he left.

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“Rhys,” a murky voice.

“Rhys.” Feyre.

“Rhysand-” He looked up at his wife.

“She right-”

“No. She isn’t. You both lashed out at each other. You both are to blame.”

“But-”

“No buts-”

Rhys sighed, making his way to his feet.

“We have a war to fight, I need to go get ready,”

Feyre looked at her husband, worry filled her features.

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Hybern was dead. The war was supposed to be over.

But instead, Rhys layed there. Dead.

Lisana’s breath was short. Staring at the body, covered by Feyre, sobbing. She never apologized.

“Stop trying to protect me like your my father! News Flash- youre not- so stop trying to act like you are-”

Thats what she said to him. When they went to battle, Rhys tried to make things right, but Lisana just ignored him. Out of stupid stubborness.

And now, she’ll never get to see him again. Never get to apologize.

“Ill always be there for you, Lis. Always.” He told her that once. Liar.

And so, Lisana stared at the corpse that was her brother. Caked in blood that was a mixture of his and other’s.

And she wept.

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