#lindircident

[TW: references to SA, s*xual abuse, physical abuse, fandom issues etc.]

Oh, so I should have "checked" every single post under the Lindir tag before daring to make a roleplay account?

Should I have scoured the depths of the internet, sifted through every reference, every joke, every cursed discussion that has ever been made?

Is that what you're suggesting? Because that's not how this works.

That’s not how any of this works.

I made a roleplay account for a minor character from a well-known franchise because I love said character and also because some friends joked that I am the "Lindir" of a group.

That is all I did.

I did not invite these references, I did not encourage them, and I certainly do not condone them. I have repeatedly stated that I am not interested, I have repeatedly set boundaries, and yet people insist on sending these messages, making these comments, and dragging me into something I have no part in.

How exactly is that my fault, genuinely?

Where is my agency in that?

Let me make one thing absolutely clear: I have never read the material that this is apparently based on.

I have no context for it, I have no investment in it, and frankly, I do not care. And yet, despite making my stance clear, I am still being subjected to unwanted references, to inappropriate jokes, and to outright disturbing messages.

And before anyone tries to twist my words—yes, I respect authors and creators. I respect the effort, the work, the passion that goes into writing (I am myself a writer).

But respecting an author does not mean I am obligated to engage with their work, especially when doing so could expose me to content that I find deeply distressing or uncomfortable. Respect does not mean blind participation. Respect does not mean forcing myself to endure something that I have every right to avoid.

I do not owe it to anyone to read something that I already suspect will make me uncomfortable. I do not owe my time, my mental well-being, or my emotional energy just to "do my research" on something that I have already made explicitly clear I want nothing to do with. It is absurd to suggest that I should subject myself to potential discomfort or even distress just to avoid being harassed over something I never engaged with in the first place.

And while we're here, let me make something crystal clear: Lindir may not be my original character, but that does not mean people are free to say whatever they please in my space. That does not mean I am obligated to sit here, grit my teeth, and tolerate references to NSFW content, to sexual violence, to things that make me deeply uncomfortable—especially as a survivor of SA myself.

The fact that I even have to spell this out is exhausting. It is beyond inappropriate, it is beyond disrespectful, and it needs to stop.

I cannot believe that even here, on a roleplay account, I have to be firm. I have to set and reset boundaries that should be obvious, and yet people still insist on testing them, pushing them, pretending they don’t exist. I should not have to raise my voice, I should not have to justify my discomfort, and I sure as hell should not have to fight for the bare minimum of human decency.

The entitlement is staggering. The audacity to step into my space and try to dictate what I should be okay with, what I should be forced to engage with, is infuriating.

No, I do not want these references. No, I will not "just deal with it" because I made a Lindir account. No, I will not entertain some ridiculous idea that making a fandom blog means forfeiting my right to personal boundaries.

I don’t care how long these jokes have been around. I don’t care how ingrained they are in certain circles.

I am telling you I don’t want them here. And that should be enough.

It is not difficult to respect people’s comfort levels. It is not difficult to hear "this makes me uncomfortable" and just stop. The fact that I even have to explain this, let alone demand it, is frustrating beyond belief.

So let me say it one last time for the people in the back: I am not responsible for what other people have made of this character.

I am not responsible for the history of a joke I was never part of.

And I am certainly not responsible for the fact that some of you cannot grasp the simple concept of "no."

If your argument is that I should have "checked" before making my account, then let me turn it around on you: perhaps you should check before sending messages that cross boundaries, that disregard personal comfort, and that contribute to a culture where people feel entitled to force others into discussions they never consented to?

Because that is exactly what this is.

You expect me to take responsibility for something I had no part in, to comb through years of fandom history just to make sure I don’t accidentally trigger your weird obsession with an in-joke I never signed up for.

But where is your responsibility in all of this? Where is your effort to check if what you’re saying is appropriate, welcome, or even remotely considerate? Or does that not matter because, in your mind, my existence here makes me fair game?

Because let’s be real—that’s what this boils down to. You’re not upset that I didn’t "check."

You’re upset that I won’t play along. You’re upset that I have the audacity to not care about whatever cursed discourse or running gag this is built on. You’re upset that I’m refusing to roll over and let you drag me into something I never wanted to be part of.

And instead of respecting that, instead of acknowledging that I have every right to set boundaries in my own space, you’d rather frame it as my fault for not doing your work for you.

I don’t owe anyone my time, my energy, or my tolerance for nonsense that makes me uncomfortable. If you’re so concerned about people "checking" things, start by checking yourself. Start by asking why you think it’s acceptable to push unwanted conversations onto someone who has repeatedly made it clear they want no part of them.

Start by recognizing that my refusal to entertain this nonsense isn’t the problem—you are.

No, I do not want to read about one of my favorite characters being repeatedly sexually abused/used. No, I do not want to engage with content that depicts that. No, I do not want to be sent references to it, jokes about it, or anything remotely related to it. No, I do not care how long this has been a thing in whatever corner of the fandom it originated from. No, I do not care how many people find it funny or "just fandom culture." No, I do not care if it’s "tradition" for some of you to bring it up whenever Lindir is mentioned.

I do not want it in my space.

Period.

I should not have to clarify this. I should not have to repeatedly state that I do not want to see, hear, or be associated with discussions of one of my favorite characters being subjected to sexual violence in MY space. And I especially should not have to sit here and defend myself when I say, unequivocally, that this makes me deeply uncomfortable—both as a person and as a SA survivor .

The fact that this even needs to be spelled out is disgusting.

I do not owe anyone my discomfort. I do not owe anyone my tolerance for things I have made explicitly clear I do not want to engage with.

I was hoping you might be able to signal-boost something for me. As you know, @not-glorfindel-stop-asking is a Lindir RP account. What you may not know is that Lindir and his writer continue to receive a lot of unsolicited and unwelcome references to the Lindircident and Battering Ram incident, along with other crude sexual comments, despite multiple polite requests (including in a pinned post) for people to stop bombarding her with such. For her efforts to protect her boundaries, she has received misogynistic and homophonic slurs, mean spirited comments, and been told that she needs to lighten up and take a joke. Today she was even told that she shouldn't have created her RP account if she didn't expect to receive these comments. I don't know about you, but that last one sounds a lot like "you was asking for it" which I find disturbing and unacceptable. Frankly, the whole thing has turned into repeated sexual harrassment, which is Not Cool. Please bear in mind that my comment here has nothing to do with your fic itself, but rather the continued unsolicited and unwelcome references to it, despite her multiple (and frankly, more gracious than probably warranted) requests to the contrary. As you have a much larger audience than I do, I was hoping you could re-post my request for these folks to just have some basic human decency, remember that there's an actual human being behind the blog, and stop doing things that she has clearly and repeatedly articulated her discomfort with.

Signed, Not Lindir's Writer, because she has more talent, poise, and kindness in her little finger than I do in my whole body. Just a concerned Tumblr moot.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

I need to address something very important for clarity's sake, especially for those who have been commenting or sending messages: @balrogballs is NOT responsible for the harassment I’ve been receiving.

It’s deeply unfair that some people are trying to pin blame on them when they have done nothing wrong. Balrog merely expressed their thoughts, and somehow, a twisted narrative has emerged in which they are being held responsible for the actions of others. Let me be clear: no one deserves to be dragged into this mess, especially when they were not the cause of it in any way, shape, or form. The blame rests solely with the individuals who have been sending degrading, inappropriate messages—not with anyone who is simply speaking their mind or offering their perspective.

Now, to those who have suggested that I should have just "deleted the comments/asks", mentioned I do not want this on my page, or done something differently, I need to make something absolutely clear: I did report many of those comments.

I added it in my pinned post.

I repeated it multiple times that I do not want sexual or nsfw messages in my inbox.

I do not stand for harassment, and I took the necessary steps to report the hateful, disrespectful, and vile messages I received. But here’s the reality: I cannot be a cop 24/7 on a roleplay blog.

This is not a platform where I should have to constantly police every interaction or be expected to monitor it like a full-time job. I do my best to manage my space and protect the people I care about, but at the end of the day, this blog is meant to be a creative, safe space for myself and others, not a battleground where I’m constantly fighting off disgusting comments and dealing with people who have no regard for boundaries.

The main issue here is not whether I deleted comments fast enough or did enough to prevent everything from escalating—it’s the fact that these comments were made in the first place.

People shouldn’t have to be policing their inboxes and comments like this. It shouldn’t be a situation where any of us feel like we’re walking on eggshells or being forced to explain why certain comments and behaviors are degrading, inappropriate, and completely unacceptable. It is not my responsibility to fix the issues caused by others who feel entitled to send disgusting, harmful messages. The core issue is the behavior of these individuals, not how quickly I can delete or block them.

Balrogballs is not responsible for the disgusting and vile things some individuals are sending my way.

There are people— for reasons I cannot fathom— who seem to view Lindir as nothing more than a fucktoy and feel entitled to send unsolicited, degrading messages straight into my inbox, because I rp as Lindir. This behavior is absolutely, unequivocally not a reflection of Balrog in any way, shape or form, and it is entirely on those individuals who have chosen to cross every boundary in the worst way possible. It is incredibly frustrating and deeply unfair that, somehow, some people are trying to associate Balrog with this level of disrespect, when all they did was express their opinion or thought.

The harassment, the nastiness, and the insults directed at them— those are the actions of people who choose to engage in inappropriate, unwarranted behavior. Balrog did not ask for this, nor did they do anything that would have made this kind of response in any way acceptable. It’s not their fault.

And let me make sure anyone reading this understands that no one should have to bear the weight of others’ unprovoked cruelty, especially when they are just minding their own business or expressing a simple viewpoint.

We should all be able to enjoy these spaces and interact with each other without fear of harassment. This isn’t just a personal issue; it’s a community issue. We need to stop normalizing this kind of treatment and start holding people accountable for their actions, rather than placing the blame on those who are simply trying to create or enjoy content.

Harassing Balrog or being nasty to them in any way is not the answer, and it won’t undo the hurtful messages or disgusting content that has been sent to my account. If anything, it only makes things worse and continues the cycle of unnecessary pain and suffering for everyone involved. I understand the desire to defend me or speak out against what’s been happening, but attacking Balrog isn’t going to fix anything. They are not responsible for what others have done, and taking that anger out on them only shifts the focus away from the issue in the first place, which is the harassment I’ve been receiving and the fact people do not understand that "no" means "no".

By harassing or blaming Balrog, all it does is add more fuel to the fire and hurt someone who has done absolutely nothing wrong. It’s not going to erase the vile messages or somehow undo the harm that’s already been done. What it will do is hurt someone who has been unfairly dragged into this mess, causing more unnecessary distress and potentially putting them in a situation where they feel they have to defend themselves when they were never part of the problem in the first place. This isn’t helping me, and it certainly isn’t helping anyone.

I do appreciate the support, and I know people mean well when they speak out, but I need to be clear: this is not the way to defend me or anyone else involved.

There are better, more constructive ways to handle this situation without turning on others. We can stand against the hate, speak out against the harassment, and protect those who need it without resorting to more cruelty. What’s happening now only makes the situation worse, and I ask that everyone consider the consequences of their actions before they lash out in anger. The real solution lies in holding the people responsible for this behavior accountable—not in attacking people who aren’t at fault.

The awful things that have been said and the slurs that have been thrown around have nothing to do with Balrog. They didn’t send those comments, they didn’t encourage any of this inappropriate behavior, and they are in no way to blame for what some people have chosen to do. It is entirely on those who are sending these kinds of messages, who feel entitled to make others uncomfortable and violate boundaries for the sake of a joke. The people making these jokes about sexual assault or treating Lindir like a sexual disposable object to use and abuse aren’t the ones trying to be supportive or respectful—they are the ones spreading harm, and they need to be held accountable for their actions, not Balrog.

To blame Balrog for something that is entirely the fault of these anonymous individuals is not just wrong, it’s unfair. They are not the source of this problem, and they should not be dragged into it. The people responsible for sending these slurs and disgusting comments are the ones we need to focus on, not someone who simply expressed their opinion or engaged in discussion. Balrog deserves respect, not to be caught up in this mess. Let’s direct our energy to where it actually matters—against those responsible for these harmful actions.

So, let me say this once: Do not send hate to Balrogballs. Do not harass them. Do not turn this into a cycle of nastiness under the guise of “defending” anyone. If you actually care about the principles at stake here, then practice what you preach and behave accordingly.

Balrog, I am truly sorry that you’re receiving nasty messages and harassment in some misguided attempt to “defend” my blog. That is not what I want, and it’s not something I condone. No one should be treating you poorly because of this situation—especially not over something you were never responsible for in the first place.

I appreciate people speaking up when they see something wrong, I really do, but turning around and sending hateful messages to you does nothing to fix the issue. It doesn’t erase what’s been sent to me, it doesn’t hold the real offenders accountable—it just spreads more harm and drags innocent people into a mess they never asked for. That isn’t “defending” me in any meaningful way. It’s just creating more hurt, and that is the last thing I want.

You didn’t deserve to be pulled into this, and I hate that people are being nasty to you over something that had nothing to do with you. I can only imagine how frustrating and exhausting this must be, and I truly regret that this situation has led to you being treated unfairly. You should not be catching strays over this, and I hope people take a step back and realize that sending you hate does absolutely nothing to help anyone.

LOOOOL I’m 27 I would have been 3 years old 😭

The reality is much less interesting, I didn’t actually clock Lindir in the books and had no clue who the fuck he was until I belatedly watched the Hobbit films — even then I only wrote the battering ram fic because Elrond was at his most DILFcore in said sequel trilogy and Lindir was the closest twink within reach. That was also the only LOTR fic I published prior to this year.