#lilly rants

It feels like every time I open up a +18 tag or go into an adult fandom space, there's all these actual kids running around, telling people they're minors.

I could be wanting to read a smut fic and I'll see a bunch of posts with the text "minor writing smut, don't like, DNI" or something like that.

How fucking stupid are you? Genuine question. Are your grades okay? Do you need to talk to the school counselor? Take a common sense test? Because I certainly think so.

Why are you entering and actively taking part in adult spaces and then using the "umm I'm a minor, so if you do or say anything, then I'm the victim and you need to get away from me, you creep" card when you get called out on your bullshit?

These adult spaces are not for you, GET THE FUCK OUT! Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!

Teens will teen. They'll find adult material one way or another, I am fully aware of that. Hell, I'm guilty of reading smut when I was a teen. But when I did, I never told a soul.

I've had accounts run by minors as young as 13-14 interacting with my NSFW posts. And they're somehow bragging about this. Of course, I block them immediately, but I am shocked at how brazen these kids are, to have the gall to do this and think it's okay because "they're mature enough."

No. You're not. I promise you.

Becoming an adult isn't about reaching some arbitrary number. It's about learning to take responsibility for your actions. So take this advice and GET THE FUCK OUT OF ADULT SPACES! YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!

i love early mornings but i never wake up to see them because i know my family will make a big deal out of a slight change in my routine, which just discourages me from ever doing it again.

i have a bad habit of compulsively thinking of depressing poetry and writing it down, only when i need to focus on something more important. like my maths exam, which now has lines upon lines of shitty poetry crammed between quadratic equations and polynomials that my teacher took marks off for.

i hate waking up on school mornings but refuse to go to bed on school nights. i won’t let my body fall asleep. i need to savour every moment i have where i’m not in school, even if that means cutting into my needed hours of sleep. even if that means not sleeping at all!

and as someone who’s found it hard to believe in any deity, it’s a very strange feeling.. feeling comfort and love from a presence im not even sure im capable of believing in… sometimes i think it’s just the voice in my head. but it feels external, as well as internal. it doesn’t feel like me. it feels like Him.

and i’m confused. but when i’m distressed, i find myself doing things to bring on that feeling. reaching out for something, or someone, that i know will love me without judgement. and even when i’m not seeking it out, when i’m just going about my day, i feel it. physically. putting away my laundry, sitting alone watching tiktoks or whatever, sometimes i feel like i’m being watched, or being touched, just a gentle hand on my shoulder or something…