#lightedwindows

“Are you sure he’ll be okay with me being here?” Pepper asked Rhodey while he worked on his physical therapy exercises. “We haven’t seen each other in awhile and we didn’t exactly part on the good terms.”

“He’ll be fine. Well, he’ll be as fine as Tony can be. Besides, he needs this. You both do.”

Pepper sighed. Rhodey had contacted her after he had been injured. He filled her in on the Accords, the pressure that Ross was putting on Tony, the fight with Steve, the way that Zemo had set them all up, everything. He convinced her to come to the Avengers facility and talk with him and then hopefully Tony as well. Rhodey was getting stronger everyday, but his concern for his friend kept growing. They had all been through a lot, but in true Tony Stark fashion, he wasn’t dealing with it. He kept busy and distracted by pouring all of his energy on helping Rhodey with his recovery, including designing and making ten different sets of leg braces.

Pepper knew she was taking a chance just being here. If anyone could get through to Tony, it would be her. But also, there was the possibility that it would just make everything worse.

She heard him before she saw him, recognizing the pace of his footsteps and the way he mumbled to himself when he was trying to figure out a design. Before he walked through the door, she contemplated running away. But as soon as their eyes met, she knew she made the right choice.

From the first day she was hired, she was drawn to his kind eyes. Sure, he was cocky and frustrating and sort of an asshole, but his eyes showed how kind he really was. They also gave away his sadness too. She hadn’t seen him in months and her heart broke with what she saw in his eyes.

Rhodey broke the tension by clapping his hands together. “Well, this is so much fun, but I gotta run.”

“Run?!” Tony shook his head. “You can’t run. I haven’t finished that upgrade.”

“Yeah, well, no time like the present to give it a try. Pepper, it was great seeing you. And Tony…” He patted his friend on the back as he walked by. “Behave.”

“I always behave.” Rhodey just laughed as he disappeared through the door. “Okay, fine, I don’t even believe that, but where are you going? I have to make adjustments to those braces!”

Tony turned toward Pepper again and the awkward tension had returned.

Pepper cleared her throat. “So, um. How are you?”

“Oh, great. Wonderful. Never better. I just have, you know, lots of stuff going on here. Keeping busy.”

“That’s good. That’s good to hear. I guess.”

“So, what brings you by the neighborhood?”

“Rhodey called me.” Pepper took a step closer. “He’s concerned about you. So am I.”

“I see.”

“You know none of that was your fault, right? You take everything on as if you’re responsible for it, but you’re not.”

“It’s my fault we’re not together anymore.”

“Tony…”

“Are you here because I’m bothering him and he thinks you can make me stop?”

“No, that’s not it at all.”

“Because if there’s anything I can do to make his life better, I’ll do it. There’s nothing I won’t do for him.”

“I know that. He knows that.”

“And all of you keep telling me it’s not my fault, but please explain something to me. Explain to me why it goddamn feels like it is?”

“I don’t know. I wish I could take that burden away from you. I really wish I could.” Emotions were rising in her and she blinked rapidly to stop tears from coming. She had to get through this. “I would have been here to see you sooner, but I didn’t know if you’d want me here since we had decided to… you know…”

“Break up.”

“Take a break.”

“Same thing.”

She sighed. “I didn’t come here to argue semantics with you.”

“Okay, then why are you here?”

“Tony… I can’t change what drives you anymore than I can stop myself from worrying about you. And as it turns out, even if I don’t see you for a long time, I still make myself sick with worry. I used to think that I couldn’t do this with you anymore because I’d worry about you too much. I thought that if the suits were gone then the danger would be gone too. I hated being in a constant state of wondering if you’d come home at the end of the day. But that feeling didn’t go away after we… broke up.”

“So you’re miserable with me and miserable without me.”

“I’m saying I can’t be without you. You’re too much a part of me.”

His eyes looked so sad. “Maybe you’re better without me. Maybe everyone is.”

She took a deep breath. “Rhodey told me about your parents.”

“Oh, yeah… there’s that.” He stumbled over his words like he had been slapped across the face.

She stepped even closer and lifted her hands to gently cup his face. “I’m so sorry.”  

“Pepper…” He whispered as the last of his defenses crumbled and his eyes filled with tears. “I watched them die.”

She wrapped his arms around him. He drew her closer and buried his face in her neck. She whispered words of love and encouragement to him as he breathed in deep.