#lifeafterthem

My sister started to be afraid of airplanes when she was on her 20s. I used to call her crazy. 

“You have travelled so much. How come you’re suddenly so afraid? Nothing has changed. Everything is still the same.”

I didn’t realize how fear is a defense mechanism.

She fears feeling trapped; by responsibilities, by a job she doesn’t like, by our parents... so of course, she fears being in a huge metalic cage during hours, without the option to just leave everything and hop out.

I fear intimacy. And so I used to cover myself, I used to be afraid of what my body could do, I used to avoid his gazes.

But now, I am discovering myself again. I am proud of being me, with everything that entails. I look at him directly into his eyes. I tell him 

this is my body, 

and it is ours to enjoy. 

Somedays, I will hate myself. 

But other days, 

It will be

glorious.

Stay,

and see it

feel it

for yourself.

And my sister... my sister is in love with a boy that lives on an island. 

So she travels by plane.

A lot.

When he tells you he respects you, but goes around badmouthing women and laughing about the fact that you read feminist poetry, beware. When he tells you that you are beautiful and should be proud of yourself, but asks you to change when you are “too much” (according to his standards), keep a distance; for he is one of those false allies you have read about.

He will tell you who you are, so you forget yourself. 

Don’t. 

He doesn’t own you.

You do. 

I want to cry.

When the sky says goodbye 

Do we even deserve cats?

The water is freezing, and so is my heart

Lisbon may be beautiful, but they are so much more.

We found love in the forest.