#lieutenantessen

          James crossed his arms and glances at his son, none of them was in the position to ask for a calm conversation, the father was just as angry as the kid. “Look at me, James Gordon” he ordered and grabbed his arm for a brief second, making sure he had to follow his orders. It was driving him crazy, the commissioner was respected and obeyed everywhere except in his own house. 

         The commentary on the last time she stayed in Gotham put the older man on a defensive position, he didn’t want to go there and bring back that moment because Jimmy would win, his moral battle with that period of time was bigger than any other current problem. “What are you insinuating?” his voice was more serious this time, more adult, more like the commissioner rather than the father. “You are tumbling over suppositions and you don’t even bother you ask me, you just hold your thoughts against me. I won’t tolerate it. Look at me in the eye, James Gordon, because if you want me to treat you like an adult, then better start behaving like one!” Jim’s deep voice resounded in the room, secure and no trace of doubt in it. That was how he was used to defend himself and certainly the best way to put a stop to the conversation he had always been afraid to have, where his own moral values were put into question.

"And you are?" He demanded rather than asking. "You're not being the model of maturity either so don't lecture me about being an adult. You're supposed to be the adult and yet you can't even be honest with me. If you were you'd have said everything first. You'd have explained everything first. You'd have had the decency to tell me to my face instead of letting me figure out what 'special friend' was supposed to mean and I think you know exactly what I'm insinuating."

He can feel himself tremble in anger. He balled his hands into fists so tightly his fingers were turning red. The more the thoughts reeled in his mind the more upset he got. He couldn't take any more or this as his eyes began to water again. This time though he wasn't entirely certain if it was in anger or in sadness.

          He was angry, and not at Sarah. For a second he recalled those terrible movies where the father sided with the evil stepmother against his own children, but this wasn’t the case, he couldn’t see that as one of those cases. Jimmy was just a kid but Sarah was just a young woman trying to hard, Jim was somehow scared that all that madness would scare her away. He didn’t want to be alone, not again. 

          “Control yourself, James Gordon” he exclaimed, frowning and crossing his arms while staring at his child. He was angry, so angry that tears flushed down his cheeks and James could almost listen his words as shouts. 

           ”Lower that tone, young boy” he insisted, as a father, he had to discipline his son always and in every situation. “What did she do to you? what was so horrible for you to do this, James?” the man asked, looking down at the boy with a severe gesture. 

“Special friend?" He exlaimed, not bothering to lower his tone. "God, you must think I’m an idiot." Every word made him angrier. A calm Jimmy could have thought of all this more rationally but he couldn’t be calm. He couldn’t hold back the words he knew he’d regret later.

           James was waiting for a considerable explanation but Jimmy didn’t even bother to show some respect to his question. Sarah was crying in the car, what distracted him from his son. “God, no” he whispered to himself, rubbing his temples and feeling a familiar headache take over.

The sound of his father’s voice made him stop for a moment. His heart was racing and it wasn’t until the accusation that the boy turned around. What did you do? It was his fault. Everything was his fault and he was making it worse but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

Tears were starting to weal in the boys eyes but he refused to let them fall. He was angry at everything. Angry that he had no control over any of this. Angry that his father seemed more concerned that Sarah was crying than about his angry son. Angry that his father was blaming him despite the boy’s guilt.