#lialda

I’m putting it up everywhere because I’m just really proud of myself - my thesis is done!! I did it!!

I got an email from my GI and we were corresponding back and forth and now I don’t know where he is going to go from here. He wanted me to contact my local pharmacy regarding if I could break apart Pentasa and I found out through my pharmacist that I cannot, so I am not sure what the next is for me as it relates to my treatment. I figured that it wasn’t going to be so easy and my instincts were right. I hope there is a treatment option for me out there with a pill I can get down okay. I am awaiting his next response on what we are going to do because it looks like Pentasa is not going to be the move for me after all. It is like I can’t take the Delzicol anymore because they cancelled the size pill that I know I can swallow and the Pentasa I cannot break apart. I know I had spoken to my GI a few years ago in regards to Lialda, but I had seen the pill at that time and I remember telling him that just by the sight of it, I knew it was going to be impossible for me to even swallow it. I wish that pharmaceutical companies would keep in mind that not all of us can swallow large pills. 

I feel a whole bundle of nerves right now because I just want a proper direction to go to so that I could be put on a treatment that I know will work for me in the sense of the size of the pill. I see my GI in three weeks, so if this isn’t figured out over the next few weeks, at least I know I have a guaranteed appointment then, so I am sure we will discuss it in a lot more details then too. I have to say that I at least like the email system that I am fortunate enough to have that allows me to communicate with my GI directly. It seems that when I have gone through other channels in his office trying to find answers to this current dilemma, I have come up short. I am trying to see the positive and I think that is something that has Crohn’s Disease has taught me over the years. Even when things may not go as planned, find that one thing that is related to the situation that you have felt a sense of satisfaction due to things being properly handled. I know I am just going to be waiting for my answers and I hope I can get them soon. I wish for good days for everyone and that our bad days are spread more apart from one another. 

Love and Hugs, 

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Whoo, we’re over a third of the way there! Hi all, mod mom friend here with a shorter installment! Since I’m contractually obligated to write angst for all my characters, here is some Lialda angst for all of you! It’s shorter than normal (since Lialda is by far my least fucked up character) but I hope you enjoy it! Inspired by this post by @horrificmemes!

Lialda loosed her limbs from the woman she was in bed with, gently extracting a leg from between the woman’s and trying her best to free her hand from the woman’s grasp without waking her up. Another day, another one night stand. Usually, Lialda could have an inn room for free, but she had certain needs, which meant that she very rarely ended up using her room. As she pulled her tunic and pants on, she winced internally as the woman moved in her bed. Generally, she didn’t do terribly well with emotional attachment. She knew she’d be able to tell if someone was viable for an emotional relationship. And this woman wasn’t. Something rubbed Lialda the wrong way about her. And though she couldn’t put a finger on it, Lialda knew that she should get out.

“You’re not staying?” the woman called. Shit. Something in Lialda screamed for her to just run, but no, Lialda stayed because of course she had.

“I’m sorry, but I have to leave, I’ve got to get to the next town over.” The woman nodded, and at first Lialda assumed that everything was okay. She got up, started to leave, opened the door.

“I wanted so badly to think you were different,” the woman said. Lialda shut the door, turned around.

“What do you mean?” she asked, a sinking feeling in her gut telling her that she didn’t want to know the answer.

“I’ve dealt with half-elf bards for her. Quick with their tongues, seducing you into just about anything so you can’t resist.”

“I asked you if you wanted to! You said yes! You were sober, you pursued me first! I didn’t even initiate our first conversation!” Lialda objected, her voice beginning to raise. And it was true--this woman had approached her after her act and pressed Lialda up against the wall with a kiss. The woman had lead Lialda to her room. Lialda hadn’t even had to try and seduce her, and she wouldn’t have seduced anyone into something they didn’t very clearly want.

The woman, however, glared at Lialda. “You’re all the same. Denying what you do to us. You use your beauty, throw it around, make us feel special when we aren’t. And your beauty is all you have. You can strum a lute and shake your hips but the moment you get into anything that might be real, you’re gone. Good luck ever finding real love. Good luck ever finding someone who wants to be around you for more than a night. Now get out of my sight. I can’t believe I deigned to spend a night someone with you, you slut.”

Lialda, true to form, left, slamming the door behind her. She popped up to the room that she’d been given, grabbed her pack, left as quickly as she could. Lialda Anela didn’t need love. She was a strong woman. She didn’t need a man, or a woman, or anyone in her life. She could be happy on her own, save for the occasional one night stands. And as she stepped onto the road, she took a deep breath, smiling at the sunrise and the trail before her. Yes, this was more than enough for her. She didn’t need love. She didn’t need someone to love her.

But as much as she tried to convince herself of this, that woman’s words rang in her head. “Your beauty is all you have. You can strum a lute and shake your hips but the moment you get into anything that might be real, you’re gone. Good luck finding real love.”

Good luck finding real love.

Good luck finding real love.

Lialda Anela, the half elf bard who had almost caused the fall of a kingdom with her words alone, didn’t need real love.

Hi! Mod Mom Friend back at it again with the writing!  Today’s prompt is “Imagine the weather’s getting colder, so Person A keeps cuddling Person B more at night to stay warm.” Credit goes to @otp-imagines-cult, post here ! I’m borrowing Mod Rug Wrestler’s boy again bc I have a couple friends who asked for more poly fluff! (Also yes I know that elves don’t usually sleep but like let’s assume this is in an AU where they do) Hope you enjoy!

Translations:

Mellys: Rose, my rose

Something was different.

Blinking sleepily, Felix started to move a little, but he found that he actually really couldn’t. He was sandwiched in between his two lovers, both of them cuddled tightly against him. This wasn’t normal--neither Lialda nor Elethin were much for nighttime cuddling. Lialda generally liked her space when sleeping; it was a side effect of her past propensity for one night stands. And Elethin was a very mobile sleeper, often restless, so he slept further away from his lovers so he didn’t wake them when he was actively dreaming.

But right now, Elethin was curled up in a small ball against Felix’s left side, his mess of curls tickling Felix’s neck, and Lialda was on his right, her head resting on his shoulder and holding his arm like a teddy bear. Granted, Felix certainly wasn’t complaining, but it was unprecedented. And then he realized that it was absolutely freezing outside of the covers. The inn room wasn’t the best at keeping out the cold air, and as usual, his two half-elf lovers were incapable of producing their own warmth, and decided to leech off his. He chuckled, wrapping his free arm around Elethin and pulling him closer. However, the motion seemed to wake him--Elethin was a notoriously light sleeper.

“Sorry for waking you, love,” he whispered, lightly kissing Elethin’s curls. Elethin hummed in contentment, draping an arm across Felix’s chest and pressing a sleepy kiss to the closest available space, which happened to be Felix’s collarbone. Elethin whispered a few Sylvan words that Felix didn’t quite understand, and nuzzled closer to his lover. “You’re adorable,” Felix whispered.

“So are you,” Elethin mumbled, finishing with an I love you in Sylvan. He never stuttered when he was sleepy like this.

“Are you still cold?” Felix asked. Elethin shook his head.

“You’re warm,” he murmured contentedly, brushing a few more kisses across Felix’s skin.

---

In the morning, when Felix woke up and had to move, Elethin moved away, rolling into the warmth where Felix had been, but Lialda didn’t react so quickly, instead opting to just keep hanging on Felix’s arm. This resulted in her being half-dragged out from the insulation of the covers. Lialda let out an indignant squawk and quickly retreated with a small shiver. “You’re mean,” she declared into the covers.

“And yet, you stay,” Felix chuckled. “But, mellys, I actually do need to move.”

So in the span of ten months I’ve been on...well, a fair amount of meds.

We started me off on Canasa rectal suppositories. That was fun. And sort of worked for awhile, but then stopped.

Then we tried Apriso, but my puking had already started, so that didn’t help.

We then moved onto Balsalazide. What a mistake that was. That threw me into the ER.

And that’s when I got to meet my good friend Mr. Prednisone. And his buddies Norco and Ondansetron. Combined, they actually made me feel better.

I took 40mg  of Prednisone a day for about two and a half months, then in the third slowly began weening off of it, 5mg less per week, for a month. Had to start picking and choosing Norco days, even though I’d been on one in the morning/one at night. Luckily the one thing I’ve gotten to keep is the Ondansetron. Those little dissolving magic pills. They at least keep me from puking my guts out anymore. I like them.

I’ve also been on Dicyclomine since that ER trip too. 20mg tablets, up to 4 a day, as needed (See: As REMEMBERED).

I got put back on the Apriso once the Prednisone was done, and that went okay for a bit. No major improvements, but no more puking after taking it like before. But then the joint pain reared its ugly head.

I was in so much pain just from moving, standing, or sitting. I was almost in tears every day. I had to get a coworker to help me stand up after sitting down on the concrete floor to restock some of our shelves. So that had to stop.

Now today is my first day on Lialda. Four tablets a day, 1.2g per tablet.

And I gotta say, these things smell like straight up pot. They make me sick as soon as I pop them out of their sample carton. I may have to use up my Ondansetron just to keep them down. But hey, if they work, right? ;D

We’ll see. I’ve got twelve days worth. I don’t know why they don’t give you a full two week sample, but whatever.

Oh and I get to go in for my pneumonia shot this week too. Good times. Flu shots every year, Calcium and Vitamin D supplements daily to protect these fragile bones of mine, and so many doctors.

I suffer from ulcerative colitis, which is a type of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), the other popular one being Crohn's disease. These are not the same as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which unfortunately many people tend to group into the same category. IBS doesn't cause you to shit bloody diarrhea, for example.

Apart from chopping out my large intestine and connecting my small intestine to my rectum/anus (yes, this is a thing), there isn't a cure for what I have. Luckily there are a lot of medicines out there to treat it. I take four large brown pills every morning by the name of Lialda, which travel through my stomach and break down in my colon, delivering sweet anti-inflammatory goodness. I also take an immunosuppressant drug called mercaptopurine, which is also prescribed to cancer patients and organ transplant recipients. I've also had some bad experiences with prednisone, which deserves a monologue of its own.

Together, they both seem to keep my symptoms fairly under control. Since I am medicated now, I don't really have any crazy symptoms anymore, but they occasionally supersede the medicine and manifest themselves in the form of "flares", which will include blood in the stool and instilling the visceral urge to kill anyone that stands in my way of a bathroom stall. If that shit isn't going in the toilet, it's going in the closest location possible, whether I want it to or not. This has unfortunately included my pants on at least one occasion.

As much as I don't want it to, this disease has significantly defined my life since my (official) diagnosis in January 2014. I don't want people to know me as the sick guy. Hell, I don't want to know me as the sick guy. Perhaps this is another purpose of my ramblings and monologues: to dish out the thoughts that I don't want to pass on to my friends and family.