#levichill

“I know that,” Chris said, almost harshly and with a touch of bitterness to her tone, but she didn’t know what else to say to those words. “Not all of them are, but I am,” she stressed, shaking her head. “I don’t care what people have said about me and the kinds of things they joke about when they think I can’t hear them, nothing that happened was my fault. I didn’t ask for any of it, and I shouldn’t have to live with the consequences of other people’s actions... but I do. I have done nothing. I am a good person and I am innocent. I don’t care if you believe me or not, that’s just the truth and I will stand by that until my dying breath.”

“Levi Hart?” Seth asked, eyebrows furrowing as he sort of casually glanced behind him to see that Helena wasn’t in earshot before stepping outside and closing the door behind him. “It’s been a couple of years since I’ve talked to him, but yeah, I know him. We were friends for a long time.” Then came the news, news that Seth didn’t really know how to take. Instead he listened quietly with a disbelieving look on his face before he finally just nodded and quietly made his way back into the house where he collapsed onto the couch, staring forward at nothing. How were you supposed to respond to the news that your best friend had just died? Even if--especially if--you hadn’t seen him in years. Seth’s mouth had run dry but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the wall. Even when Helena came out to ask him what the commotion at the door had been about, Seth found himself only vaguely looking up at her, still not seeing anything. It was only when she asked if something had happened that she got a reaction out of him, but that reaction was just tears; streams of tears that he was only barely conscious of as they trickled down his face. What was he supposed to say? There was nothing to say. And so he said nothing, just burying his face into her shoulder and crying his eyes out in a way she had never seen him cry before. In fact she hadn’t seen him cry at all. Somehow she always expected the the explanation would come in time and there would be a reason for it, but Seth never said a word about what he’d heard out on the doorstep that day. No words could convey what he was feeling and so he stuck with silent sorrow as his method of expression.

The words just made Seth squeeze his arms a little more securely around his friend. Maybe the hug was lasting a little bit too long but what else was there to be done for someone who had just lost their home and their family in one fell swoop. “Listen to me,” he said quietly, not moving to pull back as long as Levi seemed to want to hold on. “You will always have a home with me no matter what, alright? The things you do, the words you say and the people you love will never change that. We can’t do anything about their choices, but they’re going to have to live with giving up the most amazing grandson and if they’re okay with that, that’s on them but it would never be okay with me. There’s nothing you could ever do or tell me that would make me not want to have you around because... you mean more to me than anything in the world. Someday I hope they see what a mistake they made but whether they do or don’t, you’ll always have a place with me. It will be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“yeah, well, seems like all my fuckin decisions are instincts, then,” she mutters, leaning back into their couch with an unreadable expression on her face. “dunno about valuable, though. so far it just seems to have gotten me into a hell of a lot of trouble.” considering she never thinks anything through and runs purely on emotion, that shouldn’t be such a surprise.

“Intimidating?” Seth asked looking down at himself in confusion for a moment. “I like to think I’m pretty approachable. What exactly about me is intimidating?” Somehow this really bothered him and he didn’t know why. He wasn’t even looking for the guy to be into him of course since it wasn’t like he was gay but he’d started asking Levi about what kinds of things were attractive to gay guys and for Levi to point out the ones he thought were gay more out of general interest and boredom than anything. He’d pointed out one on the other side of the party, wondering--more out of vanity than anything else--whether or not he’d be attractive to another guy. The answer he got was almost frustrating in how puzzling it was. “I’m not intimida--” but then a thought hit him and his eyes moved from the guy to Levi with an almost narrowed look to them. He’d heard a few rumors here and there and he couldn’t help the question that fell from his lips. “Exactly what did you tell him about me, Hart?” Seth asked, the words followed by a laugh that proved he didn’t really care, but he still raised his eyebrow at the other as though daring Levi not to tell him.

You're a classic case ofFoolish, young and in loveBut you don't even know what love could do to usWe are brash and recklessMade of glass and carelessWe break apart the moment we both feel too much