#levi drabbles

You’d only met him a few times before the ceremony; handsome, but quiet and stoic. His eyes were piercing, as if he could see right through you, but there was something else there..you just couldn’t put a finger on it. Your family teased that you wouldn’t last a week with him - his fierceness was that well-known.

The first night, you sat nervously on the bed, your sheer white nightgown hanging loosely off your body. Levi sat next to you and when he reached out to touch your cheek, you flinched. You didn’t mean to…it was just habit.

Levi sighs, then lays down and pulls the covers over him.

“Are we not..” you can’t even finish the sentence.

He turns to look at you. “I won’t force myself on you. I want you to come to me of your own accord.” He blows out the candle next to him. “Goodnight.”

You spend the subsequent days learning the rules and manners of your new home as well as your new husband. You discover that although he is strict, he treats everyone with respect; he takes you to town to buy you new clothes, that you get to choose yourself. No one had ever done that for you before; in fact, he asks your opinion on a great number of things, encouraging you to be more confident. Like a budding flower, you open up more and more every day, and every evening, when you sleep beside him, he never lays a hand on you.

But oh, how you want him to now.

You wait for him in the bedroom and as he enters, you stand up and unlace the tie of your nightgown, letting it fall to the ground and revealing your naked body before him.

“What’s this?” He asks as his eyes move up to meet yours.

“I…I’m ready..” you answer meekly. You’ve never been touched by a man but even the thought of it now - of being touched by him - sends a heat through your body you’ve never known.

He moves toward you and cups your flushed cheek. This time, you don’t flinch. He kisses you, gently at first, but when you open your mouth his tongue eases its way inside, mingling with yours. His hands move over your body: cupping your breasts then moving down to your hips, and you feel like every part of you is on fire. You fumble with the buttons of his shirt but before you can take it off, he’s lifted you up and carried you to the bed. He hovers over you as he pulls his shirt off, then begins to kiss your neck, moving up to you ear.

“Tell me what you want.” His voice is like velvet, “I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you.” Your answer barely a whisper. “I want you to make love to me, Levi.”

Levi smirks as he kisses down your neck. “I will..” he growls as his mouth moves over your body, marking you along the way, “but first, I want to taste my wife.”

He moves down between your legs and you feel his hot breath. “Beautiful..” is all he utters before he starts licking your folds softly. You’ve never experienced such sensations, and you immediately feel your body reacting to him. He sucks on your clit and you arch your back; without thinking, your hand goes to grip his hair, but you let go quickly.

“I’m sorry..”

He stops to look at you. “If you want to pull my hair, then pull it. Don’t apologize for taking what you want.” He dives back between your legs, his tongue lapping and flicking at such a speed, your mind can barely process the amount of pleasure you’re receiving. Both hands go down to his head and grips his hair tight, your legs pressing tighter around him only seems to urge him on. Suddenly, you feel a pulsing sensation growing more and more from your core and spreading throughout your entire body.

“Levi..” you whimper, as your climax rises and falls. Levi continues to lap up your juices, stimulating you even more. When he raises his head, his mouth is glistening and he wipes with the back of his hand. He takes off his trousers and you see your husband naked for the first time: toned muscles leading to his erection.

“Do you want my cock?” He asks as he positions himself on top of you. You bite you lower lip and shake your head, but that’s not enough for Levi. “Use your words - tell me.”

“I-I want your cock. I want you inside me…please.”

He eases himself inside you slowly and watches your face for any pain or discomfort. “Relax…breathe…” he instructs as he moves his cock further in, then pulling out slightly. Your head caged in by his arms, he kisses you as moans escape your lips. The initial discomfort subsides, and what is left is utter pleasure; each thrust a little harder, a little deeper.

“Faster, Levi,” you whisper, your hunger for him growing. He responds by snapping his hips against you. “That’s my girl, telling me her desires.” He lifts up and pushes you knees into your chest, his cock disappearing inside of you and hitting a spot that sends a wave of euphoria through you each time. You feel light headed, intoxicated by the look in his eyes, the feel of his body against yours. If your first orgasm was a pulsing then your second is an explosion - the shockwaves spread through you and you scream out his name. “Levi! Don’t stop!”

He follows your command, but when he feels you tighten around him, his steady pace falters and he cums inside you, finally collapsing on your chest.

You wrap your arms around him and kiss him. “Can we do that again?”

He smiles. “I’ll do anything you want. All you have to do is ask.”

—//—

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“I love you.”

You know it wouldn’t end well.

You told yourself a million times, “Don’t expect. It will lessen the disappointment.” But as you sit there, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, and knees almost touching, with the one you need like water, there are no more expectations to break. It’s done. You’ve said it. You’ve let out those words that prick like thorns at the back of your throat, aching to be said longer than you can admit. Now, it hangs dead in the air, waiting to be caught—to be answered.

From the small distance between you, you can see his steel eyes glisten under the moonlight. You can see the dark lines under his eyes and the creases on his forehead. Life hasn’t been kind to the man you love. It never was to anyone. But if you could change one person’s fate, it would be his. You don’t know the extent of what you would give to lighten the load in his heart. You would give anything to have him smile, to have him laugh, and to have him live, that was your wish.

And yet, you know that by having done this, you’ve burdened his heart more.

His eyes bore into yours, a million words settling into his irises. Just like that, you were back to where it all started.

It started at stolen glances, cheeks heating up whenever his eyes meet yours. You tried to avoid his gaze, pulling yourself out of the trance it would give you. You wanted to get lost in them. But you know that having an eye for the Survey Corps soldier was a stupid idea.

There were things much bigger than the both of you, things that only he could do. Levi Ackerman is humanity’s strongest soldier. One of Commander Erwin’s greatest gambles in the war against the Titans. There was no room for you in it, a normal resident of Sina. You know that the expected fate for you is to accept a marriage from someone who can stay with you as long as you can live inside these walls while relying and waiting on the scouts’ mission to maybe end the suffering of the people in these walls. It’s what was taught to you for years. But as always, you weren’t one to listen.

You couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help but to shop on your own in the markets when you can have servants do it for you. You couldn’t help but to talk to the people there, asking them what new things they could offer you every time you were around. You couldn’t help but try out every new food and beverage you could find.

You couldn’t help but notice the timid and quiet man buying tea every third Sunday of the month. He would be there exactly at the time you first saw him and you would wait to see him, not even talk or be near him. You just want to see his face. He always looks tired. There were creases on his forehead that always seemed to be scrunched. His lips were either turned down into a frown or a straight line. Although he looked very neat with his long-sleeved white button and black slacks, his clothes don't seem to be of noble or great wealth. He doesn’t seem to be a servant or one of the workers from Rose.

He orders the same black tea every Sunday. The same one your father drinks every morning. It was rare and expensive, something about it being grown on a small plot of land protected here in Sina. You’ve tried it once out of curiosity but was not very fond of it. It was too bitter for your liking. But nonetheless, you thought that if the mysterious man had enough to spare for one canister of it a month, he must have enough of an income.

Eventually, he notices your stolen glances and thought you were suspicious. He cornered you in an alley one time on the way to the markets, having expected you to be there already. In fear and fluster that the man was finally in close distance, you sputtered out your apologies and told him the truth that you only found yourself being curious about him. He warned you not to do it again. You could only meekly answer an agreement.

In anticipation for the next time he came, you were fully prepared to offer another apology. Your next interaction would have to be better that time around, you thought as you have already carefully gone about your words and have been holding a canister of the same black tea he prefers. Unfortunately, he didn’t come by the next month. Still, you waited.

The month after that as you wait, it was running a bit late, and when you were convinced that you have officially run the man away from this market, you finally caught sight of the man you have been waiting for. He had the same tired expression on his youthful face, the same haircut that always seemed to be trimmed at the perfect length, and the same grey cold eyes. Except, this time, he wears a military uniform with an insignia you don’t see much on these walls—the wings of freedom.

You froze where you stood, just near the pop-up teashop. You see that someone strides closely behind him, towering over him with his upright posture and blonde hair. Of course, you know who that is. That’s Erwin Smith, the commander of the Survey Corps. People thought him to be the devil commander, ruthless and ambitious. And beside him is the man you’ve been following every month, a member of the military division that gets sent to their deaths every expedition.

But still, you approached them with a smile and introduced yourself. Erwin gives you Levi a glance after, one that you couldn’t interpret the meaning of. At first, you thought that Erwin didn’t particularly enjoy your presence there. But he gave you a smile and even pushed the smaller man in your direction. He even gave you a wink behind his back.

Since then, Levi, a wonderful name for a breathtaking man like him, continued to come back every month.

And here you are now, standing at the edge of a cliff from the pressure of accepting a marriage for convenience versus your feelings for the captain of the Survey Corps.

It was silent. Not even the sound of air whistling or the birds chirping can be heard in the dead of the night. You can only hear the sound of your heart beating. You can hear his heart in sync with his. You can feel his pulse as he closes a hand over yours. Not fast. Not slow. Perfectly balanced. His rough hands held your soft ones, caressing them with his thumb. Fond, caring, and comforting.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

Carefully, he smiles. A painful one. If you knew that the first time you’d see him give you a smile like this, you would have never asked for it.

After spending a long time with Levi more than his monthly visits to Sina, you’ve come to learn more about him. You were his only friend outside the scouts and if he were to choose who he’s the closest with among them, you know he’d choose Erwin. He highly respects him and he told you how he vowed to follow the great commander to the darkness. And you know fully that what you’re asking of him will collide with Erwin’s decisions. He can’t be with you. He can’t love you.

Gently, two words come out of his mouth. “It’ll pass.”

They were not the three words you longed to hear. But you smiled back, holding back the tears with an accepting smile. He nods, smiling back as if he was convincing himself. It was there that you realized that he was saying it to himself more than to you.

There was another silence. But this time, it no longer holds the weight. And yet, you don’t feel any relief, no burden lifted, and no thorns plucked out of you. You could only feel his hand for comfort and you looked down on it once again, memorizing the veins on his skin as if it will be the last time you look at it. You trace your fingertips over them, blinking away the tears that seemed to fall without your consent. The blurriness in your sight that your tears caused is going against your purpose to capture his hand in your brain. You don’t want to forget him. Ever.

You would rather memorize his face and how he looked knowing one day, you might forget his face. But with his hand and the way he holds yours, you know that both your dreams and nightmares will be plagued by it. You want to see it. You want to remember how it felt to be loved like this—to be loved by him, even if he didn’t say it yet. You know. You always knew.

His forehead is close to yours and you can feel him trying his best not to make them touch, he’s hesitating—pulling away in fear that he might never want to break it. His lips are quivering and he draws them in tightly into a line to halt it.

You don’t know how long you sat there but somehow, Levi was able to pull away, mutter he has to leave, and stand up. He takes a few steps away from you before pausing, back turned on you.

You called his name, the ache in your chest intensifying as it rolled off your tongue.

“I’ll see you next Sunday.”

He turns around, the same pained expression on his face. The corner of his lips twitches up ever so slightly in amusement. Both of you know that things will never be the same again. You will never come to see him in the market and he will probably never come to buy tea personally again. But still, he nods and lets out an unexpected response to your statement.

“…I love you too.” It came out in a whisper but it was loud enough for you to hear. He looked into your eyes for a few more seconds before looking away entirely. Before he turned around, you see a single tear fall from his eye. You watch as he walked away until you could no longer see his form fade into the darkness.

It never passed. Not even as the truth about the Titans and the people outside was uncovered. Not even as you survived all that, somehow. Not even as you held your child from a man that wasn’t him, a gold ring adorning your finger. Not even as you saw him again, wounded, and being wheeled by two children. Not even as your eyes met his cold, gray one.

It never passed.