I'm addicted. I'm addicted to being fake. I Faked laughing, faked choices, and faked nearly everything, just everything. I'm tired of it. I want to shout that it's enough. Let me live my way. Now when I have nearly built a whole kingdom of falseness, they think it's real, and something has gotten into me. They start to keep watch on me. Am I meeting any absurd guy or a friend, or maybe am I deviated from my target. I have always done what you asked me to do and still doing, but now I wanna try to be myself. I wanna discover myself. What I love, what makes me happy. I don't wanna wake up at 3 AM and cry just because no one can hear and see me crying. I don't want to sleep just to stay away from worries. I want to sleep calmly to rest for some time. I don't wanna cry, just want to stay happy in my heart. I don't wanna fake my smile. I want to smile for real. Please set me free. I'm buried under your expectations. The one you see, the ideal me is not real. It's your illusion, or maybe just me in her fakest form.
