#lesbaphobia

After Remi got called out:

So i want to preface this by saying, maybe two or three people will read it, and that's cool. I really don't mind, I'm writing this for myself more than for anyone else.

So, for the most part, I like girls.

I also like nb folks.

Just not guys, for the most part.

The only guys i ever feel attracted to are fictional, and everybody has a crush on a video game or tv/ movie character at some point in their life.

Haven't had a crush on a real guy since highschool and even at that point i wonder, was it a crush, or was i just so unused to a boy being kind to me that i clung to the first one that was?

So to break it all down, i suppose i'd be a lesbian, right?

I hate calling myself that.

Not from a standpoint of lesbaphobia but because, in my life (a life that has ALWAYS been involved with the lgbt+ community cause my mom is pan) i have met a lot of lesbians and i can say, without a shadow of a doubt,

That almost all of them have been horrible people.

I've met some nice ones too (pookie being one of them) but the amount of awful ones really outweigh any others.

I really really hope I've just been having bad luck.

A few months ago i was still looking for the right thing to define myself as, and i thought i had found it.

Bi-lesbian/ homoflexable

I felt comfortable with this label. It felt right. But then, someone caught wind of it and about 15 lesbians came and harassed me. They said very awful things to me, accusing me (a trans individual) of being a TERF, and of being lesbaphobic. They insisted that MY sexuality was a personal affront to them, despite it being none of their damn business.

Sounds awful familiar, doesn't it?

One of them dug even deeper, harassing me about the things i was interested in and accusing me of tracing my art.

I had to set my blog to private and change my url.

So, forgive me if those people left a bad taste in my mouth.

At this point, I've settled into the fact that i have no real interest in men, but i simply can't bring myself to call myself a lesbian because i don't want to be associated with those kind of people.

The kind of people who bully others, not just others but COMPLETE STRANGERS, for their sexuality.

This is why i just call myself sapphic or queer. Cause it's safe and not associated with people like that.

I truely hope that those people know that they are an embarrassment to the lesbian community and Sappho would be ashamed of them.

I don't feel trans enough right now because I'm nonbinary & use she/they. It feels silly because all my family veiw me as a ciswoman & I wanna say "no I'm not cis" but I know they won't listen to me.

So I feel like I need to just mold myself into what my family sees me as & not try to stand up for myself & what's comfortable for me lmao. I'm frustrated!!! ;^)

it's not saying you can't consider yourselves lesbian, but i think for an identity that has had masculinity forced into it (and not referring to trans masc and butches, the 'you need a man' kind of masculinity) , wlw and sapphic lesbians are rightfully not going to feel comfortable in an identity that now suddenly includes the possibility of liking men or centering men.

i think that's just realism. You are free to identify how you want as a man, and people who are under the label of an identity traditionally held by non-men are allowed to feel how they want about that too.

Literally no one can tell you how you can and can't identify.

Some, non-men and women are naturally going to be uncomfortable, especially when society has forced masculinity on lesbians in a harmful way over and over again.

and i'm not talking about trans masc (who've always had a connection to lesbianism), I am talking about binary trans men.