#lernblog

I recently started a new job as an administrative clerk at a company working in finance, real estate, and insurance brokerage. To be completely honest: I entered this field with little to no prior knowledge about these industries. No deep understanding of insurance systems, financial structures, or the complexities of the real estate market.

And yet, somehow, my personality, willingness to learn, and my CV were enough for them to give me this opportunity.

That realization alone means a lot to me.

At the same time, it also means that the real work begins now.

After work, a large part of my evenings will probably be dedicated to studying;

reading technical literature,

learning industry terminology,

understanding processes,

and slowly filling in all the knowledge gaps I currently have.

Especially in the field of insurance, where I feel the steepest learning curve waiting for me.

It’s intimidating, but also exciting.

This blog has always been about self-study, rebuilding myself piece by piece, and documenting the uncomfortable but necessary stages of growth. This is simply another one of those stages.

✧ Right now, I am inexperienced.

✧ Right now, I ask a lot of questions.

✧ Right now, I often feel like I know nothing.

But “right now” is temporary.

A few months from now, I want to look back at this entry and see proof that consistency matters more than perfection. That competence can be built. That being new at something is not a weakness — staying unwilling to learn would be.

So here’s to long evenings with insurance textbooks, unfamiliar terminology, highlighted pages, notes everywhere, and the slow process of becoming knowledgeable in a field I never expected to enter.

Second chances sometimes arrive disguised as responsibilities.

This is Your Second Second Chance

10-7-2017 

Heute ist der letzte Tag an dem ich mich noch einmal ausführlich mit Verkehrstechnik befassen kann, da morgen schon die Klausur ansteht. Dieses Fach hat mich jetzt ein ganzes Semester begleitet und ich finde es sehr spannend. Man behandelt darin, wie man Knotenpunkte plant und berechnet. Hierbei versucht man die optimale Lösung für jeden Knotenpunkt zu finden. 

why focusing for longer than a short burst feels exhausting, frustrating, almost impossible sometimes.

And I think I finally found a way to understand it.

The brain is a muscle.

Not just metaphorically in a vague, motivational way;

but in a very real, practical sense.

It responds to use, to strain, to repetition, to consistency.

And just like any muscle, it weakens when it’s not used.

For me, it’s been almost 15 years since I last truly trained this muscle in a structured, demanding way.

Of course it feels difficult now.

Of course I get tired quickly.

Of course deep focus feels unnatural.

The muscle has shrunk.

It’s been underused.

It’s overwhelmed.

But that’s not failure; that’s biology.

And muscles don’t stay weak forever.

With gentle, consistent stimulation, they wake up again.

With repetition, they adapt.

With patience, they grow.

With discipline, they flourish.

I don’t need to be perfect right now.

I don’t need to study for 8 hours straight or understand everything immediately.

I just need to show up. Again and again. A little more each time.

Because if this really is a muscle, then it also means something incredibly hopeful:

✧ Intelligence is not fixed.

✧ Knowledge is not reserved for “other people.”

✧ The gap between me and the people I admire; the ones I see as intelligent, wise, educated; is not permanent.

It’s trainable.

With enough effort, dedication, and discipline,

I can become knowledgeable.

I can become sharp.

I can build the kind of mind I’ve always admired from a distance.

This blog exists to document that process.

Not just the highlights,

but the slow growth.

The small wins.

The days where it feels hard — and I show up anyway.

This is my training log. My proof of consistency. My self-accountability.

This is Your Second Second Chance

Over the past few days, I've come to realize that the kind of onboarding I had hoped for, and perhaps even thought I needed, was never really feasible in a company of this size.

Not because people don't care. Not because anyone is unwilling to help. But because the necessary time and personnel resources just aren't there.

Everyone is juggling multiple responsibilities, deadlines, and clients. Looking at it from that perspective, I can understand why a highly structured, step-by-step introduction was never really an option.

I recently talked to one of my colleagues about one of my biggest concerns. I was afraid that, sooner or later, I would be expected to know things that nobody had ever had the time to teach me. 

Her response was reassuring.

She explained that, at this stage, nobody expects me to fully understand why every process works the way it does. The expectation right now is much simpler:

✧ to know that a process needs to be carried out,

✧ that certain information has to be added or omitted at specific points,

✧ and that the workflow is followed correctly.

The deeper understanding, the why, how, and what for, comes later.

In fact, the plan is for me to complete the IHK certification program to become an insurance intermediary, which will be fully funded by my employer. According to my colleague, that's where many of the theoretical foundations and industry-specific explanations will finally start to make sense.

And honestly?

That conversation helped me put things into perspective.

✧ Maybe I don't need to know everything immediately.

✧ Maybe it's enough, for now, to learn the processes, gain routine, and trust that understanding will follow with time, experience, and education.

For someone who likes certainty and detailed explanations, that's still a difficult lesson.

But it's a lesson worth learning.

This is Your Second Second Chance

A few days into my new job, I've realized that the onboarding process is not as structured, detailed, or thorough as I had hoped it would be.

A lot of things are skipped, glossed over, or simply assumed to be common knowledge, even though it's no secret that I come from a completely different background. Nobody is being intentionally unhelpful; everyone is just incredibly busy, stressed, and constantly racing against the clock.

Because of that, I often find myself hesitating to ask questions. Not because I don't have them, but because I can see how little time everyone seems to have.

I'm hoping that, with time, I'll adapt to this work environment and become more comfortable navigating the lack of communication and the uncertainty that comes with it.

Maybe these insecurities will fade once I've built enough knowledge and confidence on my own.

I've already ordered and received two professional books related to the industry.

It's going to be a challenging few months.

✧ But I know that I want to establish myself in this field.

✧ I want to understand it,

✧ become competent at it,

✧ and build a future here.

So now it's simple:

I have work to do.

And the only way forward is through.

This is Your Second Second Chance

The past explains many things. But it does not have to permanently determine how far I can still go, because my past is not a final judgment of my intellectual abilities.

I am still young. I am still alive.

I can still catch up on what I believe I missed or never learned; where there are gaps, missing knowledge, or skills and abilities I still lack.

Now. Here. Today. With what I have.

This is your second second Chance

Diesen Blog hab ich leider lange nicht mit neuem Input gefüttert, aber ich werde damit endlich wieder beginnen.

Mittlerweile habe ich mein Abitur überlebt und gut genug bestanden, um studieren zu können. Dies mache ich jetzt, schon seit ganzen zwei Semestern, im schönen Karlsruhe. Zur Zeit bin ich wieder einmal im Lernstress und so ist mir mein Studyblr wieder eingefallen, da ich gerade sehr viele Zusammenfassungen schreibe.  

마시다 - trinken

뭐 마실래요? - Was möchtest du trinken?

맥주 - Bier

소주 - Soju (Koreanischer Branntwein)

포도주 - Wein

막걸리 - Reiswein

사이다 - Limonade

홍차 - Schwarztee

녹차 - Grüner Tee

식혜 - Süßgetränk aus Reis, oft als Nachtisch

수정과 - Fruchtpunsch mit Honig

냉커피 - Eiskaffee

음료수 - Trinkwasser

주스 - Saft

오렌지 주스 - Orangensaft

화주 - Schnaps

우유 - Milch

포도 주스 - Traubensaft

콜라 - Cola

칵테일 - Cocktail

Mit freundlicher Unterstützung von @19tc thanks to you :3