#leeepfrog

The memories of his life with you wouldn't leave him alone, especially now. He knew you felt something when your lips were joined with his. He felt it in the way your body responded to him. The way it used to respond to him. He could see it all as if it were only yesterday. Running hand in hand through the backyard of the guest house, holding each other as you both watched the sunset over the water. He heard the I love you's and felt the tender kisses. He smelled the breakfast he cooked the morning after as you came up from behind and wrapped your arms around his waist.

You may have felt some kind of compassion for Megan because of what happened to her but Gerry wasn't feeling it at all and if he got his way, she would be put behind bars for drugging him. One way or another, he was going to nail her for something. Her present karma wasn't good enough for what she took away from him.

Lost in his own memories, Lee slouched on a bench by his dad's headstone, mumbling the lyrics to a sad slow song he had softly playing on his cell as his eyes burnt from the tears he held back. Depression was eating at his very soul.

"I just think about my baby. I'm so full of love I can barely eat. There's nothin sweeter than my baby. I'll never want once from the cherry tree cause my baby's sweet as can be. She gives me toothaches just from kissin me."

A single tear strayed from his eye as he continued, his voice now choking up. "When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her."

Lee never listened to music much before he met you. He had usually been the suffer in silence type but now, the silence was too loud and he craved the sappy sounds. He would even seek them out, for every song he heard spoke your name somehow, someway and he would rather feel the pain of you than nothing at all. This ballad in particular painfully resonated with him. Through all of his fuck ups, all of his highs and lows, you were always there, loving him unconditionally with no judgment on his terrible choices and fixing him while he broke you.

He now struggled with the words that similarly described the day you found him. "When my baby found me, I was three days on a drunken sin. I woke with her walls around me, nothing in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin up a fever, didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did....."

Soft sobs puffed through his paused, parted lips as Lee gazed upon the 2 carat diamond ring while shifting it about between his fingers. It still managed to sparkle under the sunless sky and it reminded him of you, for you were the only thing that shined in the darkness around him.

For just a little over 5 grand, he chose a highly renowned jeweler in Boston to have the the magical masterpiece tailor-made just for you after he had gained your mother's blessing to take you by his side. It had to be just right. It had to be special because you were the only one to ever make him want the family life for no other reason than love and what made the silver symbol even more unique was the single word inscribed inside the band. Forever.

Before heading to the cemetery, Lee had had made the 30 minute drive to Boston to pick it up which he had planned to do days ago when the jeweler had called him...the call that you walked in on and asked about after his morning run and he had told you it was just spammers. He felt a little fib was worth keeping the momentous surprise a surprise. What he didn't expect though was that you would later believe the call to be some conspiracy involving Elizabeth's attack, but how could he blame you for that after all he had kept from you and even still was keeping from you? He figured if he had the ring in his possession and stared at it long enough, it would give him the push he needed to spill his guts and it was doing the trick. Lee planned to tell you everything when you arrived. What he feared though, was what he had feared all along. That when you learned the truth, would you even want him anymore?

Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, Lee closed his eyes and sighed as he rested his chin on his hands, letting the ring softly graze his bottom lip. It was almost 6 o'clock. It had been 2 hours since your text that told him you would come.

"I don't think she's coming dad." Lee whispered to the granite headstone that now held both of his parent's names. "But I cannot blame her. Now that you're gone, your mind is whole again and you remember what happened. You finally know the truth. I can only imagine what you must think of me now. If you were here, would you still call me a good son?"

Another tear slid down his cheek as Lee remembered the last time he saw his dad. He had brought him the locomotive to Jacob's train set as a gift for his birthday and for some reason, it sparked something in his memory impaired father. He became lucid. The most he had ever been during his residency in assisted living and those times were always far and few between. Lee had never went along with his dad's delusions of the past which was something he knew he shouldn't have done. He would bluntly tell his father that that his wife and grandson were dead. His guilt was unbearable, so Lee told himself he would never lie to his father again. But that day, just that once, Lee decided to play along and let his father believe they were coming for his party. Once his dad saw the engine though, he knew they weren't coming. He knew they were dead, but he only remembered the reason Lee told him his wife died. It was what everyone was told. A heart attack. That day was when his dad understood what Lee had been trying to do and that was when he told Lee he was a good son. Later that night, his father passed away in his sleep and knowing what Lee knew now, with all he himself had seen, they WERE coming for the party, to take him home on the train.

Your voice then sounded from behind him. "Of course he would Lee."

Lee's hand snapped closed over the ring and as he clumsily stood up to face you, he discreetly slipped it into his pocket.

"You...you're here." he gasped with excitement.

Wanting to run into the arms that desperately wished you would, you refrained, forcing yourself not to touch him or it would all be over for you. You were only strong enough to resist him at a distance. "I could say the same thing to you. I figured you would have left by now since I'm 2 hours late. I'm so sorry Lee."

His eyes begged for you to hold him as he reached his hand out to you. "I told you I would wait for you and I always will. No matter how long it takes. Please Jo. I miss you so much."

"I...I think it's best if I just stay right here."

Lee slowly lowered his hand and his smile that held the little last bit of hope he had, fell. "Oh..uh ok. I...I understand."

"Lee...I know how hard today is for you but...are you...ok? I mean, you...you look like hell and you're jittery."

He softly chuckled and nervously rubbed the ungroomed stubble on his face. "Oh, that. Long night, lack of sleep. Probably too many Red Bulls, life of a doctor, missing you, you know. So...did you listen to my voicemail or read my texts?"

"Yeah, I did. Your words were beautiful and moving Lee. They always are, but they're not going to make the elephant in the room disappear. It can't be ignored anymore. It's now or never Lee."

"Alright." he sighed and picked up two roses from the bench that he brought for his mom and dad and placed them on the fresh mound of dirt that had only slightly settled.

Lee then sat down and gazed up at you, waiting for you to sit. Your nerves had your stomach in knots as you sat beside him on the small bench, careful not to touch him, but that didn't even matter because his scent of Drakkar was just as torturous and it was all you could breathe in with being that close to him. He then blew out a hard breath and attempted to begin.

"Where to start Lee, where to start?" Lee anxiously mumbled to himself as he kept his eyes from yours. "Ok, well as you probably have figured out already, I worked with Luke for the WSB. Back then, what he did intrigued me. He said it helped him tremendously with his pent up anger, taking out the bad guys and all and so he got me in, trained me and he was right. It helped me too, dealing with all the shit I went through with Ethan and Liz and not being happy in my medical career. At the time, I really felt I was meant to do it. It felt right, it felt good and I was damn good at it too, but that was until...."

Lee paused and closed his eyes, holding his breath. You could see the emotional pain consume his face and this time, you couldn't help yourself. You slid your hand over his and squeezed, frightened he would have another panic attack.

"Hey, it's alright. You're...alright. Take your time and just breathe."

He let the breath go and allowed his teary eyes to meet yours as he smiled and squeezed your hand back. "You are my air Jo. But I know I need to breathe on my own and face my demons. Right now, it's Satan himself in the form of guilt, regret and shame because.....it's me Jo...I'm responsible for my mo...."

Your phone rang and it was your mom's ringtone so you had to answer it in case something happened with Megan. "So sorry Lee, it's my mom, which I need to tell you something too."

"Yeah baby, of course, answer it."

"Ma, what is it?"

"Joey, what on earth is this about Gerry and Megan??? He just came here all fired up, shouting at her about you and that other detective had to force him to leave before security came. I thought he was going to strangle her!! Is this why you left so upset?? What did Megan tell you?? Jo, I demand to know what is going on right now!!!!"

"Oh god, I...I knew Gerry was upset but I..I never thought he would...never mind. Mom, I'm sorry but...you'll have to ask Megan about it because now is not a good time and quite frankly, she deserved his wrath. I have to go and I'll call you later to check in."

"What?? Not a good time...Joey don't you hang up on..."

You tapped the end call button and heavily sighed while Lee turned his entire body to face you and rubbed your shoulder. "Jo, sweetheart, what happened? I could hear your mom shouting?"

"Ugh!" you huffed. "Megan is what happened. Lee, she was brutally and sexually attacked and left for dead and Dave found her. She's in the hospital and seems to have some memory loss about it all, but I just know it had to be Ethan retaliating because she told Luke she thinks he took Blaise."

"Jesus! Ok...well, what does Gerry have to do with that? I mean, why is he so angry with her?"

"Yeah that." you gulped as your chest tightened. "I have a confession of sorts myself. I was late because I went to find Gerry. Megan decided she was going to have a guilty conscience over her near death experience and she told me that she and Gerry...they never slept together. She....she drugged him and set it all up out of her jealousy over me."

Lee's slouched posture slowly stiffened right up as both his eyes and mouth gaped at you in shock. "O..oh...I...see...." he softly stuttered. "So um, you went straight to tell him. Aside from his anger about it all, I'm sure he was over the moon knowing he is innocent and probably even thinks he has a shot at getting you back. Am I right? What do you feel about it...him.. now?"

"I...I told him it doesn't change how I feel and that I'm not going back to him. It all still happened and I believed it to be true for so long and I told him, reminded him actually that I...I love you."

"So I was right. He did instantly think he could get you back."

"Well...yes. That's why I told him all that and...." you sighed. "Lee, I don't keep things from you and I'm not going to start now. Gerry....kissed me."

Lee's eyes fell from yours. He was just as stunned as you were that you told him, but he was more so hurt. "And..." he whispered with a slight quiver. "Did you kiss him back?"

"I.....Lee...it just happened so fast. He grabbed me out of nowhere and.."

"Jo, that's not what I asked you. A simple yes or no is all that's needed."

"Then it would be both yes and no. I was caught off guard and I didn't react right away. It was a few seconds and then I swear to you Lee, I pushed him away and told him he could never do that again and I left."

Lee's equanimity held an eeriness you'd never felt before. "Oh, well then I guess it's inconsequential and we can all forget about it and move on."

He stood up, placed his hands in his pockets and turned his back to you, then switched up the conversation to something else you dreaded telling him. "So obviously, you finally found Dave and...you said he found Megan. How did that all come about?"

"Can't we talk about that some other time and go back to before we were interrupted? I'll shut my phone off and..."

"No." he snapped, still facing away from you. "I want to talk about it now."

Now you stood up. "Well that's convenient for you huh?"

Lee side eyed you. "I'm not deflecting if that's what you're getting at. I said I'd tell you and I will but it seems to me...." he paused and then faced you, speaking with a cold and sarcastic tone. "that a lot has happened in the past 48 hours that we have been apart and all the while, you ignored me so I'd like to be brought up to speed on what my girlfriend has been doing. Is that so fucking wrong of me?"

"N..no." you softly stammered. "You...you're right. It's just that...the thing with David...it's a sensitive matter to you and.."

"Well now it can't be any more sensitive than another man's lips on my girlfriend, so just spit it out Jo."

"You won't see it that way when I tell you, so...ok then. Dave can see the dead and like you, he saw Jacob and he called me. He said Jacob came to him and told him about Megan and that's how he ended up finding her. She was trapped in the tunnels of Train Town of all places and Jacob told him that Liz was attacked there as well. He was going to go there and look and I didn't think he should because whomever attacked them could have still been around, but he still went and then the call between us dropped while he was there searching and I panicked because Dave didn't answer after that, so I ended up calling Landy to go out there with me and..."

You paused when Lee's eyes began to flit from your blinding words and then he became unsteady on his feet. Gasping, you quickly latched onto him and guided him to the bench.

"I've got you, sit down and breathe. Lee, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you all this right now. Now do you see why? You're dealing with too much already."

His lips parted and his brows furrowed as he intensely peered down into your eyes. "So..I'm not crazy? I...I really did see my son?"

You stroked his hair and gently wiped the corner of his leaking eye. "I have never thought you were crazy Lee. I always believed you about Jacob. Yes...you really saw him. Lee, he's clearly trying to help in some way and maybe even warn us about something bad that's going to happen because after witnessing rust water very similar to blood come out of Dave's shower and then later in my shower and out of Gerry's sink a few hours ago, I feel it's a sign, possibly from Jacob and I'm scared Lee. I keep thinking of my dream with Liz and Ethan and when Jacob appeared and stood next to you and you and then there was a loud noise and you were bleeding and he said Daddy was going to ride the train too and..."

It was as if Lee had not heard a word you said. "Dave's shower? Why would you be there?"

One terrible habit you always had was not thinking before you spoke when you were upset or nervous, especially if you weren't prepared and you were definitely NOT prepared to tell him all of this because today was just supposed to be about his story. You should have never told him you were there because now you had to explain something you knew Lee would not understand. Once again, you were quite anxious and just began rambling.

"Megan was admitted yesterday evening and I stayed at the hospital with mom for awhile and then it got late and Landy insisted I go home and rest and he would watch over mom. I didn't want to leave but then Dave talked me into going to his place instead of me going back to my apartment alone. I really didn't want to be alone either or deal with Craig, who by the way, was super pissed at me about Blaise just as I knew he would be and he wanted me to move out, which he later changed his mind and we made up and so... I hadn't seen Dave in awhile so I just thought I'd hang out with him like we used to do...just as friends. We watched a movie, I had some drinks and I went to bed in his guest room. That was it. The next day, he was in the shower and I heard him yell and that's when he told me about the rust and then freaking Luke showed up to harass Dave with questions about Megan because Dave hadn't answered his calls and then I got into an argument with Luke over you and I lost my temper and shoved him and then almost got arrested. Jerk even put cuffs on me but then later, he changed his mind and let me go and yeah...so that's pretty much everything that's happened."

Lee seemed spaced out after your info dump, as he just gazed at you blankly and you knew it was because he was trying to process everything you just unloaded on him, which was just way too much. What you didn't know, even as well as you knew Lee, was what would happen next because lately, Lee had become unpredictable, a wild card per se, with his behavior and to add fuel to the fire that was now burning inside of him, your phone beeped which you forgot to shut off.

Lee's eyes swooped down like a hawk at the screen before you could even react. "Who's Jeffrey?"

You could have sworn you just swallowed your own heart as it leaped up in your throat. There was no way you were going to tell him the gory details of all that, at least not now, so you improvised and began with a truthful, but paraphrased version. "He umm...he works for Craig, gardening and...stuff."

His eyes flowed back up to yours in such a slow pace that it raised the hairs on the back of your neck. "Gardener huh? You have your landlord's gardener's number AND...he's texting you. Hmmph. Well...go ahead....read it."

You were certain Lee noticed the small tremors of your hand as you picked up your phone and opened the message, staring at it. "Well don't leave me in suspense here baby. What does your landlord's gardener have to tell you?"

You stuttered in a squeaky voice as you read it. "Hey darlin. I got time to fix that busted tail light tomorrow morning and then it's happy huntin with Lucille for those little piggies. Shoot me a text and let me know if you'll be cumming."

As usual, Jeffrey had to play dirty with his words, so It was definitely better that you read the text to Lee than if he would have read it himself, but the text alone was just enough to set off a silent bomb inside of Lee.

"Well he sure is a handyman ain't he? Wonder if Lucille thinks so too. Is...that his...girlfriend?" Lee probed so you would tell him more.

"Lee, just let me explain."

His sarcastic grin was intimidating. "Explain away.....darlin."

"Lee, stop it. Look, after Luke dropped me off at my apartment, I began packing some of my stuff. I was going to go stay with mom for awhile to help her with Megan when she came home, plus whoever did this to Megan is still out there, which again, I feel is Ethan but Megan, for some reason, feels it wasn't him. Anyways, those asshole hillbillies from the bar that chased me, Luke and Landy, drove by when I was putting my stuff in my car. Of course, they stopped when they saw my car and hassled me. Jeffrey was outside and intervened to help and so did Craig when he saw what was happening. They're the ones who busted my light and Jeff and Craig handled the situation. That's all. Jeff wanted me to have his number in case more of them bothered me again."

Lee stared at you for a moment, then stood back up and slowly scuffled about before swirling back around to face you.

"So let me see if I've got this shit show straight. You were supposed to meet me here so I could finally clear the air about my past, which I had every intention of doing, but you ran straight to Gerry and his lips instead and left me worried and waiting because his feelings and your past with him were much more important than my feelings and my past that you have been constantly on my ass about revealing because the situation with Gerry couldn't wait to be discussed at a later time. And then there's Dr. Dave who also came before me and that you were willing to put yourself in possible danger for and who's house you spent the night in, drinking and watching movies like you would normally do with your me, your boyfriend, all because you missed him and didn't want to be alone, yet I was right there, working at the hospital when you were there and you knew that and you could have came to me instead and then, enter Landy, my best fucking friend whom you also turned to for help instead of me. Then we go onto Craig the landlord of a mafia ring and men's cologne and comforting arms whom you've also been so worried about, yet he kept from you the fact that your brother was still alive. How easily you let him out of the doghouse and forgave him for such a secret, but not me and then there's the so called gardener that you've known for merely a hot minute and he's got your number, texting you, offering to fix your car and offing people who fuck with you, because let's face it darlin, he's no gardener and let us not forget good old Lukey who you got to go joy riding with once again and all the while that you were doing all of this, I was alone and worried sick that I was losing you on top of everything else I was dealing with and I needed you, but you needed and chose them and all their chaos instead because apparently, mine is just too much for you, or maybe I'm just too much for you."

You sat motionless with tears now streaming down your face, unable to blink or break the locked stare with Lee's ruthless eyes as you growled through a shaky voice. "You know why I didn't come to you."

"Oh, that's right. Because you don't trust me anymore and it's quite clear you don't need me anymore either. All over MY past that's actually none of your damn business."

"How is it not my business??? Your past involved Peter or should I say Sam and he was part of my past too and you knew that and kept your involvement with him to yourself! He's still alive, even if in prison, and still a threat to me AND to you. You don't even know the half of what he did to me! and Gerry said he's causing a commotion about wanting to talk to me. Maybe I should have went to see him because we both know he's dying to tell me what YOU should have told me a long time ago."

"Then go Jo. Go fucking see him. Let him spin his side of things because he's such a truthful guy."

"How about you just finish telling me already. I'd rather hear it from you. Not him, not Luke. YOU. Just tell me Lee. What happened?"

Lee rubbed his entire palm over his face as he groaned, then let it slap down onto his hip and shook his head. "God, I can't take this anymore. It's never enough for you is it? Fine Jo, you win. Here it is in a fucking nutshell and that's the best you're going to get from me because I'm done with this and if it's not good enough for you, well then that's just too damn bad baby. My mother and my father are in those graves right there because of me. My father never had Alzheimer's and my mother didn't die from a heart attack. They were shot in the head, in front of me, by Peter's insane terrorist brother Charles Rane. My dad survived. My mother didn't. It was covered up by the WSB and it was all because of Luke's fucked up operation to take the Rane of terror down. It was then that I went and blew Rane sky high. Peter was never even there or involved so technically, he had nothing to do with it or me. So there ya go Jo. You finally got it out of me. Do you feel better now that I had to relive all of it and speak of something I never speak of or am even permitted to do because of a little thing called classified?? No one knows except obviously Luke and of course your brother and now you. Gordon don't even fucking know and Peter and his daddy Faison only knew so much at the time because Rane was eliminated less than 2 hours after it all happened, but they obviously later found out enough to come after me that night at the hospital when Gerry took Faison out. The end."

"Lee...I...my god...I...I'm so sor..."

His face was expressionless, numb if you were to be exact just as his tone. "Don't. You didn't care for the past 2 days when I needed you. I'm not enough for you. You don't trust me but I...I trusted you. You finally got what you wanted. My truth and now you get to live with it just as I do. I'm done. We're done. Goodbye. Fuck forever."

@redeemer46