Brain Storm
During the day my mind tries to remain positive & fill itself with happy thoughts & good vibes. It gives hope of a better tomorrow. Night fall calms my soul, but the more I try to force myself to stay awake, the more the chaos sets in & gives my heart a faint ache from the pain of my past. Though I try to let it go, because it’s behind me.. But it always catches up with me... It puts its hand on my shoulder like a comforting touch, except it’s a thunderstorm from another day that I slipped in my pocket & forgot about. So, I washed those pants, but little did I know the storm remained in them. So now when I wear those pants the storm creeps out , up my side & into my soul to haunt me & follow my every move. But you see it’s a quiet storm, with no signs that it’s actually a storm at all. I plan to go outside & spend my time soaking up the sun like it’s my lifeline, to keep me breathing, but I stay in bed because the storm got bad & the beach is no place to be when it’s raining. You always hear stories of people being pulled out into the ocean by the undertow & getting trapped because you can’t fight a force much stronger than a human. So when I’m stuck in the ocean, in the middle of the storm, trying to keep my head above water, trying to breathe while I’m drowning, I choose to just stay home & let the storm run it’s coarse before I leave. But now it’s not just the beach I avoid during the storm.. It’s parties, bars, arcades, family reunions, weddings, restaurants, & well, people.. It’s draining. If I leave it might start hailing & I don’t own a helmet. I was going to go get one, but umbrella’s don’t protect you if the hail is coming from within. Staying home seems a lot safer than leaving, nobody can reach my darkness from here. Human interaction and socialization feels like being suffocated in a plastic shopping bag... Which actually reminds me I need to go to the store for some things.. But not today, because it’s storming..
