#lazcrus

they’ve sent her without a press pass, already setting shelly up for disaster. she supposes her editor’s rationale is that she isn’t a journalist, “only” a photographer ... still, trespasser seems a tad strong.  “i’m sorry,”  she holds up her hands; one clutches her camera tightly, as shelly exposes her other palm.  

“i know i don’t have a press pass, but ... my name is shelly webster? i’m a photographer, i was just there at the race. i was hoping i could get a few pictures of you? uh, congratulations on your win, by the way.”

( sms: vroom babe ) : u woke up and chose cuteness?

( sms: vroom babe ) : i miss you! but u already know that

           imola had never been her favorite track on the calendar. something in it just did not hold her interest. this year, though? watching every car on the track stretch desperately to catch up with the leader only to fail spectacularly? perfection. even if he wasn’t her driver, the competition, she could appreciate the comeback. the skill. as she approached him, leaving behind the noise of the gala that nearly everyone in the sport had been obliged to attend, she made sure to approach on his right. ‘ well, i suppose that squashes my chances of tempting you over to my team. ‘ 

There's a calm humility to sitting on the floor, even when there are more comfortable seats available. It's a sense of grounding, perhaps, being the most down-to-earth you can be without going outside and sitting in the dirt.

She cradles her cream soda in her lap, back up against one of the tool cabinets, meditating on the coolness of the concrete floor beneath her. Beer and everything like it is banned from the garage. Anything that can compromise the abilities of the mechanics and drivers is too big of a risk to even allow on the premises.

Haven looks down at her hands, covered in grease, dirt, and oil - a testament to the work put in that evening - and looks back up at Alex.

"Yeah, I guess we are. Not bad at all."

01.  shelly never did anything with the photos she took of alex mid him yelling at her. it’d have been temping to turn them in to her editor, make a headline out of them. by that point  however, shelly wanted to forget her interaction with alex korhonen all together. 

02.  connecting to that thought, shelly was  —  reluctant, to spend time with alex, even after the accident. death hasn’t erased the memory of their altercation, and she assumed that an alex korhonen in pain wouldn’t be any more pleasant to hang around. she was happily proven wrong, of course, but that didn’t stop shelly from teasing alex nonetheless. 

@lazcrus​ :     [  . . .  ]     FOR  A  THOUGHT  MY  MUSE  HAS  HAD  ABOUT  YOURS .

𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗   :          ❛       is  he  flirting  with  me  ?          no  ,     that’s  silly  ,     i  know  that  he  is  . . .          the  real  question  ,     does  it  mean  anything  ?          i  wonder  if  he’s  like  this  with  everyone.          am  i  special  in  some  way  to  you  ,      alex  ?          i  was  there  with  you  ,     every  single  day  in  the  hospital.          i’ve  seen  you  at  your  lowest  ,     your  most  hopeless  ,     and  . . .          i  love  you  for  it.          i  wish  i  didn’t.          i  wish  i  could  just  be  happy  with  your  friendship  ,     but  god  ,      every  time  i  see  you  i  wish  you’d  kiss  me.       ❜

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 :

𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏   ━━━          ❛       i  wish  he  would  stop  calling  me  a  child.          i’m  fucking  older  than  him.          not  that  he  would  know  ,     not  in  the  physical  sense  ,     but  i  am.          i  don’t  understand  his  problem  with  me  ,     and  that  bothers  me  more  than  it  should.           it  makes  me  want  to  know  him.          i  wish  i  wasn’t  so  obsessed  with  what  people  think  of  me.          i  shouldn’t  have  to  prove  myself  to  him  ,     but  i  want  to.          that’ll  just  upset  alex  though  ,     and  he’s  still  so  delicate  right  now.          i  should  just  stop  thinking  about  james.       ❜

𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒚   ━━━          ❛       all  those  years  i  wished  he  was  here  with  me  ,     looking  at  jay  and  seeing  james’  eyes  stare  back  . . .          now  he’s  here  ,     and  i  couldn’t  feel  more  miserable.          i  didn’t  really  want  him.          i  wanted  the  man  i  thought  he  could  be.          i  wanted  a  family  so  badly  ,     but  james  doesn’t  give  a  damn  about  me.          i  can’t  even  tell  if  he  wants  jay  ,     or  just  feels  like  this  is  what  he’s  supposed  to  do.         i  almost  died  to  have  this  little  boy  ,     i’ve  loved  and  protected  him  all  this  time  . . .          if  he  thinks  he  has  any  chance  of  taking  him  away  from  me  . . .          i’ll  have  him  buried.       ❜