#lawyeir

❝ How can you possibly think that? ❞ There was not a day that went by since Lavinia's death that Mary regretted Lavinia finding the two of them in each other's arms and kissing just several hours before her death. Lavinia didn't deserve that, of course. She was a kind young woman who never spoke ill towards Mary. Lavinia was the one person Mary could see herself actually befriending and having nothing but a genuine respect towards her. There was never a cruel bone in that darling young woman, but Mary never once believed that she had died of a broken heart like Matthew had. It was just... tragic timing that left not only Matthew but the people around her heartbroken. It was clear Lavinia left a profound effect on them all.

❝ No matter what you wish of me I could never understand this. I know you're hurting and I know you’re blaming yourself for it. I know how deeply she cared about you and I know she would want you to be happy. If we are not meant to be together, we should at least be friendly with each other for her sake. ❞ Perhaps all that Matthew spoke of was true... Mary was never shy about speaking her mind and telling people what she thought of them. Was this the world’s way of laughing in her face? God knows how overjoyed Edith will be over the way my life is turning out.

Don’t know if he could take it?

Mary closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. Mary knew that she would not be able to handle a life without Matthew in it, whether that meant seeing very little of one another or Matthew avoiding her completely. To her, both possibilities brought her more pain, more tears... ❝ I don’t know if I could take you avoiding me like you’re saying. You’re pushing me away whether you care to admit or not, Matthew. You must know how that makes me feel just hearing you say such a thing! It’s almost like you are putting the blame on me for Lavinia’s death when I respected her a great deal! ❞

Mary covered her mouth and signed heavily, shaking her head as tears continued to fall down her tear-stained cheeks. ❝ I am sorry. I didn’t mean any of that. ❞ And she didn’t. Much like Matthew similarly, Mary was heartbroken over Lavinia’s death and to hear that the man she loved was pulling away from her. Maybe he didn’t mean it? Maybe this is just his way of grieving... of needing to be alone for a little while. That idea ran through her mind and she only hoped it was true. If he truly meant those words about not even being able to handle being friendly towards each other, of being close friends, Mary wouldn’t know how to go on living. 

Lavinia’s recovery was a slow process but eventually, she regained her strength and was able to walk around Downton again without assistance from Matthew or anyone else. It also meant that Lavinia could pick up where she left off before catching Spanish influenza. She wanted to genuinely get to know the family she would be married into in the coming weeks, unsure of what Mary really thought of her. In fact, Lavinia was unsure of what Matthew’s family thought of her, especially the woman who would be her mother-in-law.

The time spent with the Crawley’s made her more confident in her answer to Matthew’s proposal. Everyone was so lovely towards her, praising her with compliments and loving thoughts towards the upcoming marriage. Sir Richard Carlisle was to blame for making her feel inadequate, but Lavinia was pleased to learn for herself over the past several weeks that they were far from the lies people spoke about them.

“It did, Matthew. It really did. I was always afraid your family thought poorly of me, but what I’ve come to learn these past few weeks is that they are the complete opposite. Sybil was nothing but a delight to talk to. I realized I have the same interests in things like Edith does. Mary has been nothing but kind to me. I feel like I’m a sister to those girls already.” Lavinia smiled at her beloved Matthew and laced her hand with his own as the two sat comfortably in the library. “I can’t wait to marry you now.”

❛    it’s  anya ,    just  anya .    no  last  name ,    no  past .    ❜    her  brutality  was  unusual  in  london ,    it  seemed  to  be  something  that  had  gotten  her  into  a  spot  of  trouble  but  anya  supposed  that  growing  up  in  an  overloaded  orphanage  did  that  to  a  young  woman .    ❛    and  this  is  pooka ,   ❜    she  said ,    holding  up  the  small  mutt  of  a  dog  she  had  adopted .

❛   if  i  tell  you  something ,    do  you  promise  not  to  make  me  regret  confiding  in  you ?   ❜    the  word  of  edith’s  unplanned  pregnancy  out  of  wedlock  had  been  kept  between  herself  and  aunt  rosamund ,    but  after  asking  a  dear  friend  to  take  the  child  in  it  was  becoming  harder  and  harder  for  edith  to  keep  it  to  herself .    the  only  opportunity  she  was  given  to  speak  about  the  child  she  had  given  up  for  adoption  was  if  she’d  ventured  to  london .    matthew  always  lent  her  an  easy  ear  and  their  relationship  always  seemed  close  enough  that  if  secrets  were  to  be  shared ,    they  would  be  kept .    ❛    not  even  mary .    ❜

lovely suggestions meme for @lawyeir | accepting!

it is quiet in the swire household. her father has long gone to bed, and lavinia is only just awake – the fireplace and matthew’s WARM, solid weight against her side causing her to nearly doze. it is the most alone they have ever been with each other – no passersby in the street, no guests at the party – just the two of them, on her sofa, in her home. they are less formal with each other when unsupervised. how right, she thinks, how right.

her father must truly trust matthew, to leave them alone like this, or – maybe – he trusts her. and yet… perhaps she’s being too optimistic. perhaps he just thinks his daughter has nothing else to lose. his jaw still TIGHTENS when anything about her uncle, or parliament, or the marconi company comes up in conversation – telling her he still has not quite forgiven her, though he has tried. then – she hears a soft clinking sound: the housekeeper, tending to the family china – and she thinks, perhaps not. they are not utterly alone.

she forces her mind back to the present, back to the sofa, back to MATTHEW. if she could, she would keep him like this always – warm and content, away from horrors, from responsibilities, from – from anything that could hurt him and cause him sorrow. shut out all the world – and keep only PEACE. she’d give it to him if she could – he deserves it more than anyone else. she’d give him ANYTHING, she’d do anything – if only to see him smile, to make him HAPPY.

his words STARTLE her, breaking her reverie, and she looks down at him, his head pillowed against her shoulder, his tender blue eyes gazing up at her. the way he says that – so simply, so AFFECTIONATELY – has her heart near to breaking with LOVE for him. he catches her off-guard, as he ever does when he gets like this, and she is at sea – lost for words, lost to HIM.

❛  MATTHEW, my matthew,  ❜  she says, voice soft and reverent.   ❛  i don’t know what to say. i hardly think i’m worthy of such a declaration but –

“ oh matty.... what did you get yourself into, hm? ” when mina had gotten the telegram from the crawleys explaining the state in which matthew had arrived at downton and the situation with isobel, she’d dropped everything (kind of) and went straiht to france, making inqueries and pulling strings wherever possible until she had found her aunt and gotten them both passage to england.