#latenightcrew

First off--- huge disclaimer, I haven't been on this thing in YEARS. Don't even know who follows me anymore. I don’t have much to offer on the situation, but I wanted to at least get on and say, well, something.

I wasn't a super-active mod. I didn’t have too many private conversations with the man at all. If I ever found myself talking to him solo, it was very briefly after Red hung up after a Skype call with the three of us in it. (Side note: he never even accepted my Skype request.)

I was one of the older mods back in the day, roughly about 19-20 years old, whereas the majority of those around me in the community were minors. I was indeed friends with several other mods, though I tried my best to keep to myself and so I never saw/heard anything that happened. Just wanted to have some fun with friends on the internet, ya know?

The only thing I’ve *always* wanted to get off my chest was the Red/Cry situation. What an odd thing I found myself in the middle of... at the time. I befriended Red after I met her and Russ at a convention in Dallas. Soon after, while hanging out again... I learned that dark little secret. Unfortunately I got stuck between loyalties, and ultimately it was not my secret to share (and I am only touching on it as it has already been confirmed and hashed-out by the crew, prior to the latest disturbing accounts), however it always weighed heavily on me. I’ll admit—at the time it left a reeeeally bad taste in my mouth. But I remained loyal... while another part of me really did feel downright TERRIBLE keeping the info from Russ. Like I said... big predicament. GOD if I had only known the rest of it all.

In recent years, through internet musings, message boards and in strict-confidentiality of an individual I respect dearly, I learned about what I THOUGHT was an isolated incident. (Again, not mine to share.) It is only now that I am finding out about how many more incidents of grooming and associated behaviors have taken place, as well as how many individuals were victimized. I am finding this info out just as everyone else is finding out.... and I am.. just..

I am... sickened... to say the least. It makes my stomach churn. I can’t really say what to expect moving forward but I sure hope some serious action is taken... however that might be.

I think right now it is important to take a moment and recognize that some of these victims may not ever want come forward to share any accounts of what they’ve experienced—and that is so very okay and respected. That being said, I do not agree with Cry’s “I want to give the voice to the victims” approach. Now is not the time to use your voice for ANYTHING, Cry. Your voice is all we’ve ever known of you... and now is the time to silence it.

Really I just wanted to get on this thing and express my condolences to those affected and at least hope for a better future.