If you are reading with me then cheers! This is probably me awkwardly segueing into like “how about forever?” because like I suck at saying stuff like that out loud.
If you aren’t reading this with me, then I probably am talking with dad right now. I know its kinna morbid, a letter like this. But the truth is I’ve actually written like tons of these, just they’ve never needed to be delivered because I’ve made it though.
Each night I go out to hunt I assume I’m going to die. Mathematically that’s a pretty safe bet when you are facing superpowered killing machines with a numbers advantage. My parents taught me to clear my head, accept that its my last night and then write letters where I say everything I’ve got to say.
I know that people will say I like “gave Hunting up for you” or something like that. But honestly I don’t see that way. Isn’t a chance to love, to live, and enjoy life’s beauty what we’re fighting for, without this Stone Age kill or be killed struggle against super-powered predators and the Hells?
Is loving and living with you really abandoning my oaths? Or the ultimate fulfillment of them?
You helped me ask those questions Nell, and were patient when I wasn’t ready to take the next step sometimes.
If it turns out that it I didn’t see the sunrise of my last Hunt, I want you to keep loving the woman I loved. She’s worth fighting for. I didn’t make you that way. You’ll still be beautiful, brave, loving, intelligent, resolute and so much more without me. Thank you for letting me in and getting to be be part of that for what time God or just chance allowed. It was worth everything.
I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life without me. The Nell I knew was a free woman who didn’t take my shit if I was wrong. You were braver then I ever was, and I’d never want to change that about you.
But hey like Luce and Bea are alive and need you though. Please don’t worry about me. No pain or suffering can reach me now. A Hunter kid is never safe, and our parents don’t coddle us with lies about there being nothing to be afraid of in the dark, so being safe will definitely take getting some used to. But I’ll manage.
Last thing like, if you ever meet a another Guy or Girl or an Enby that makes you feel right. Just remember
PS: I know you said you were disappointed about not having a magic knife. So I’ve been doing odd jobs in Starfall Valley for a while now to get enough credit with the Warden blacksmith families there to get some help with weird space metal.
This Athame is made out of meteoric iron, so don’t scratch Mina with it, because its potent shit. You know I don’t have an artistic bone in my body so uh, we aren’t going to talk about how many tries it took to forge it, but hey, this is the one that matters.
I killed A LOT of Torples for the alchemist Danica to get her to enchant this. I’m not about to embarrass myself by pretending to know how it works but it helps with blood tracking spells. All I know is that if you put someone or something's blood on this dagger and spin it, It’ll point in their direction.
A home compass for a scabby compass,
[ Nell takes a long moment to pour over the knife and letter while she reads the latter over and over again on the bed she's been using in her mother's home. She loses count of how many times she reads it through or runs her fingers over Adam's handiwork, but the next time she she wakes- it's to find herself still holding them ]
