#last third basically

...a bit longer than 9 weeks, 5 ruins and countless edges later, I've officially broken my last record so yay me! 🥳

Here's a cheeky picture because I felt like showing off a little 🖤 (plus I got new underwear)

Honestly, this denial period is changing me from the inside out, I'm sinking deeper with each passing day and I can reach an edge and get to that fuzzy floating state of mind surprisingly quick now

It feels like I've unlocked a new edgeslut level, I genuinely didn't think I could feel the need so deeply within me, it feels like a ball of warm light sitting somewhere between my lower stomach and my pussy and sometimes it pulsates so brightly and loudly it overtakes my whole body and mind and it feels like I'm gonna tear apart from the inside, there are really no words sufficient enough to describe it tbh, in those moments I become one with the need as I let it envelop me whole and it takes time to put myself back together again and be a person

In the past week or two I've experienced a lot of somewhat new things, much to my surprise reached a hypnotic state where my mind completely blanked, cried a few times, ruined hard, few days after that had to ruin two times in a row just to calm down and be able to function again, I've pleaded and eventually I gave everything away, so now I can't touch or play without asking for it first and having permission for any kind of stimulation, and so far I'm loving every second of losing that control 🥰 (and I need it to be out of my hands too)

There's a lot more that goes into all of this of course, especially when it comes to communication, listening to my own body and working around my limitations, grounding myself back, navigating emotional needs along physical ones, managing time, energy, real life etc.

I'm somewhat lucky I can't really feel horny when I'm around people or in public, so edging doesn't interfere with my irl that much, or at least it hasn't so far!

It did get harder and more challenging to keep it up though, mostly because of how deep each edging session takes me and how wildly strong the physical sensations are, and I wouldn't be here without @hypnobrainwashertoo, as always, thank you for putting up with me, guiding me day after day and for everything that you do 🫶🏼

I can't help but wonder if there will come a point where I'll get so used to denial that cumming will feel strange and unfamiliar and I just won't want it or crave it anymore, and it's still a little too soon to speak about that, but these new heights are interesting and somewhat fascinating to explore

(and I sure as hell feel a bit sexier and more confident)

Stay tuned for more I guess!