#largehearts

honestly he kind of dealt with it by – not dealing with it. when he made the decision as a kid, he did it fairly unthinkingly. soren has always had a very, very strong natural urge to seek his father’s attention. when asked to choose between living with his mother and his father – that, alone, is something more monumental than a child is really capable of reasoning with. so before he could allow himself to think about it and what it meant to be asked something like that, he relied on his instinct. anything to seek out proof of his father’s love. 

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his mother. she was always good to him growing up and he tried to be good to her – to both of his parents – in turn. and it doesn’t mean that doesn’t miss her. it took him a while to understand the ramifications of what this decision meant – a little slower on the uptake than his sister, it was a few weeks without her that it dawned on him that this was a permanent change. 

that was – the most difficult moment. the realization that choosing his father meant not choosing his mother. and it was in that moment that the sadness and fear truly manifested. he wondered, then, if it was his fault – if he’d done something wrong, or if he’d said or done something differently his mother might have stayed. for a few weeks, his sleep was plagued with nightmares and night terrors. 

but through it all, he never stopped wanting to be the kind of person his father seemed to respect; he wanted to follow the example his father set. and his whole life he’d learned by example that being strong meant bearing hardship. it meant devoting your life to some great cause and seeking it regardless of the sacrifices and consequences. it meant long hours and stress, and sometimes it meant tragedy, too. so that’s what he did. he followed his father’s lead, and tried to emulate the great heroes of katolis, old and new. 

he’s never really processed how he feels now, that he understands far more of the scope of the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. but what he does know is that he wants his mother to be happy – the rest of it, anything else he might feel – are only things that will get in the way of being a person worthy of his father’s love. 

@largehearts

          HER CORRESPONDENCE        barely ever ends up on her desk without having first checked by the royal protector        —–     but this time, it is on her. she sent him away, ever so reluctantly, on a journey so far and so long that it feels like years. it’s never safe to open a letter by herself anymore; on countless occasions have corvo and the spymaster both warned her: the times of subtle death threats and fair warnings have passed. modern poisons, even explosives can easily be hidden in tiny envelopes; she really has no luxury of trusting anyone or anything.

but there is an impulse, an urge that she cannot fight: the handwriting, a single letter J., is all too familiar. as if in haste, she tears the top of the envelope, unfolds the paper       —-      a beautiful, skilful drawing done with undeniable talent. delilah. her sister, her once friend. her guilt she has been trying to suppress all these years       ——–

and a threat. a warning disguised as one? or still a threat in the form of a cryptic warning? the heart, the blood      —-     is that a metaphor? she immediately wants to burn it, despite the mesmerizing beauty of the lines, despite the fact that the artist is the one she once held dear… and maybe still does. there is yet another thought that flashes in her mind: i should meet her. i should talk to her. i should answer her call… before it’s too late.

*  Time Has Told Me, Nick Drake

big ___ energy . @largehearts . accepting !

lance didn’t hear the person approaching him honestly. he had assumed this place was secluded enough to practice without anybody spotting him. however, he was wrong. so when the twig snapped, he was surprised to say the least.

i’m very confused about how sully or cordelia can be her other parent next to sumia fkjvbkjngkg

Rin stares at the box of chocolate for several moments before realizing it’s Valentine’s chocolate. After that, it takes a few more moments for it to sink in that it must be Valentine’s day. As he picks up the chocolate and brings it inside, Rin tries to ignore the pang in his heart that thought gives him; if it was Valentine’s day, that means his brother has been gone for over a month. A month since his heart was snapped in two.

In spite of the pain, the sight of Shiemi’s name on the box prompts a teary smile. Before everything, receiving chocolates from Shiemi would have left him blushing and giddy for days; he’s not quite up to that now, but Rin thinks the warmth in his chest from knowing she cares feels just as nice. 

He looks at the chocolates, but doesn’t make a move to eat them just yet. He tells himself it’s because they just look too pretty to eat. Maybe he wants to keep the tangible reminder of their friendship around a little bit longer.

       ❛ Oh, yes, because I prefer the use of my wits and my Gift and my education that suddenly I’ve no idea how to hold my own with a weapon in hand. As if all those years of yes m’lord training master and getting whacked with very large, very heavy sticks for eight years and plunging into the heart of some godsforsaken war mean absolutely nothing because I refuse to act the part of some -- some club-minded, sword waving idiot -- no surely I’ve no idea what in all the realms I could ever be talking about -- ❜ 

       Ah, yes. He’s gotten started. Well, never accuse Neal of not rising to a good, old fashioned challenge, then. He’s in fine form, too, meeting Cara’s gaze with only the barest flicker of trepidation in his gaze. ( no, he has not forgotten nor underestimated her power to thoroughly beat him -- that doesn’t mean he must act the part of some intimidated lamb that hadn’t wasted their better years training to overcome whatever fear and hesitation they posses. ) For a few long moments, Neal meets her eyes without any intention of backing down. Not until he’s translated his point in gesture and can then, promptly, release the tension that’s built in his jaw and down his spine with a sigh. 

       ❛ I’m listening. Explain. ❜