#lampolin

breezie: name something you want your girlfriend to do to your face

lamp:

lamp: i want to say sit on i-

breezie, as the crowd cheers: YES!!!!

lamp, knowing she is now living on borrowed time:

breezie, pointing at the screen: SIT ON IT!!!

*”sit on it” turns out to be the number one answer*

lamp, gently pushing lanolin back down: please, ‘lin, lay back down.

lanolin: what happened to me…?

lamp: you got pushed down a flight of stairs during an infiltration. you’re on general anesthesia, and he’s on life support.

lanolin:

lanolin: w-wait, who are you?

lamp: …oh boy

lanolin: you shouldn’t be in here. lamp won’t like that

lamp: what do you- um… i’m sure she’ll be okay with it

lanolin: nooooo, she won’t. you’re almost as pretty as lamp, she’ll feel insecure

lamp: oh, sweetie- wait, almost???

lanolin: well, no one’s as pretty as lamp, she got a pretty soul

lamp, blushing: OH. oh, wow

lanolin: you ever win the lottery, pretty lady? take a look at lamp, you’ll know what it feels like

lamp, coughing aggressively:

lanolin: she’s, like, really hot, obviously, but then she’ll be really cute when you least expect it, and before you know it, boom. she’s drop dead gorgeous. she’s like a kaleidoscope with hips

lamp: OOOOOOKAY, you can stop now-

lanolin: and how she dresses? she makes that yellow cat fashionista look like a cereal box…

lamp, fanning herself with her hand: okay, lanny, seriously, that’s enough-

lanolin: and she feels so deeply… i wanna swim in her heart

lamp: ‘lin, i’m not joking, cut it out, i still have to be a person for the rest of the day-

*a sob escapes lanolin’s throat*

lamp: why are you crying???

lanolin: i- *hic* i just miss my lamp…

lamp: i’m sure she misses you too

lanolin: she does?

lamp: i guarantee it

lanolin:

lanolin: …oh no

lamp: what is it now???

lanolin: she spends so much time worrying for other people, i’m worried she doesn’t worry about herself, you know?

lamp:

lanolin: one day, i wanna hold her in my arms and say, “you don’t need to be strong, baby. you can just be my little angel-“ wait, i’m shorter than her…

lamp, sniffling and cupping lanolin’s cheek: oh, lanolin, you always know the right thing to say-

lanolin, jerking back: noooooo…!

lamp: what-

lanolin: you just touched me without lamp’s permissiooooon!

lamp: wh- no, why would someone need permission t-

lanolin: that’s infidelity! i’m an infidel!

lamp, sighing:

lanolin, tears leaking out: she cornered me in a moment of weakness, lamp! i’m sorry! forgive me, pleaaaase!

“the danger is the best part~!”