Feb 1, 2015
honestly I hate talking about brain stuff with nts because most of the time the only words I have to describe something are capital-B "bad" and capital-W "wrong" and nts never seem to understand what that means
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honestly I hate talking about brain stuff with nts because most of the time the only words I have to describe something are capital-B "bad" and capital-W "wrong" and nts never seem to understand what that means
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adults: stop asking me questions when i've had a long day and no time to recover. i can't answer you. stop
tbh I would give anything to be able to scream and stomp my feet and make as much noise crying as my body lets me but it's eleven pm and my parents are home and I'm supposed to be going to bed so I can't do anything
nebulizard replied to your post:so I’m at the stage of selfdxing where I think...
…if I say I kinda thought maybe you were is that weird or validating?
no that's good bc I have a feeling I'm always going to worry that maybe I'm just making it so having other people validate is good
also there's a part of me that still won't accept things as true/worthwhile/okay opinions to have/possibilities/etc until my friends treat it that way so *thumbs up*
so I'm at the stage of selfdxing where I think it's safe to say I'm probably autisticÂ
I'll be in the 'probably' mindset until I'm like 300% sure though so…
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pretty much whenever I do something– or whenever I figure something out about myself– I really want to tell someone. the more people I get to tell, the better!! normally I go to online friends because you guys are the easiest to talk to and you're pretty much always supportive and such
but when it comes to brain stuff, I'm so reluctant to say online that I think I might have this brain thing or that brain thing until I'm able to decide that it's really safe to say I have it
which means in the meantime I have to tell someone else!! my mom is almost always around, so she'd be the next person to tell except that the times I've told her about brain things, the reactions I've gotten are basically "you… can't have that brain thing.  you act too NT" whether it's in actual words or just implied
so like?? when I'm not able to tell my friends about brain thing yet, but I'm also having to constantly stop myself from telling my mom, what am I supposed to do with this????
I want to say "I've looked over this thing some and even if I'm not ready to decide I Definitely Have It yet I think it's probably safe to say I'm in the It's Definitely Possible zone"
but then
I have actually done very little looking over the thing, because reliable intelligible resources are hard to come by (or I have no idea how to find them) and I'm scared of asking anyone to help me find them
reading over the resources I have found I'm missing a few criteria, and that's assuming I'm interpreting my stuff accurately
even outside of actual criteria I'm missing things that Practically Everyone Else With The Thing seems to have, and even though the resource doesn't seem to cite that as Present In Everyone With The Thing and I can think of a perfectly ok reason I wouldn't be aware of it if it were there, trusting that I'm still valid is not a thing
are any of the things I think of as 'probably not nt'Â actually not nt??? am I making everything up?? am I just claiming other people's feelings as my own because I have a tendency to do that A Lot
I also have a tendency to be really vague about what I'm actually trying to figure out (so that nobody finds out how hard it is for me to figure these things out!!!) and then get disappointed when nobody magically figures out what I'm doing and offers to help lmao