#lamortexiii

The HellBilly Pulpit: Time is a Fraud.

Well, at least the current standard and practice of measuring time and how it affects us.

Our ancestors, thousands of years ago, didn’t have clocks to follow.  They relied on the natural order of things to help them keep track: the moon, the stars, and the seasons to name a few.

It amuses me at times. To sit here and watch people, myself included, unfortunately, base everything on this idea of the time we all follow knowing that it’s all a man-made premise.

How old am I? How old are you? Who really knows? It was practically arbitrarily decided that XYZ equals the months, days, and years we follow.

Measuring time started out as a way to keep track of the weekly Sabbaths, but there was much debate on when this actually occurred. So modern timekeeping started to be used as a way to take “man and the creator” out of the equation. This was based on the lunar cycle. The most attuned way of keeping time out of man's hands and rearrangement of cycles is using “Atomic Time” which keeps its rhythm with the moon and the stars. This sounds fine to me, but in the end, it is still a manmade practice used to determine the passing of time, which continues to still be “tweaked” by leap years and the days in a month.

We have to follow these rules of time to keep managed and maintained. Everything is rushed or put off based on these principles. “We have a deadline to meet”, “you have two days to turn it in”, or “you have a month till you go on vacation”, and so on and so on. So with the way of things, you don’t get to really experience life by always looking at your watch or phone for when it’s time to do the next chore or go to the next place. Humans were not meant to be in these little uniformed rows following each other to the same cadence. We evolved from nomads that were always on untethered journeys. But now, “You have to be back at…” is what they always say when you go on a trip now. It gives that feeling like you have to make it back at that certain point no matter what, regardless of if you have to shorten your trip or the sights you wanted to see.

No, I can’t sit comfortably here and do this anymore. I’m of an age where my hair is mostly gray, my body hurts for no reason, and even sometimes just sleeping in a certain way will jack me up for days. I know by those measurements, I’m getting older. I don’t need your clocks to tell me that my 20s were 20 some years ago. I can see it in my face when I look into the mirror. I can see it in my kids as they grow older. The clock is irrelevant to these things.

It’s all corrupt. It goes along with the wonderful concept of capitalism. It’s really rather brash if I think about it enough. Just the plain idea of man’s audacity to try to control how time is measured is incredible.

I mentioned before you can follow or observe any of the natural ways to keep track of your time. The modern use of the clock as a means to regulate our days only really just began in the 20th century.

All of our occult kin have our methods and practices to pace ourselves, a tremendous amount of groups or practices follow the moon for most rituals just as our Native American friends and others track by its stages.

The druids built Stonehenge, Sailors used the stars, and ancient travelers could judge by the position of the sun. We as pagans and heathens have to keep this in mind to live our best life. We are not bound to the clock other than when we have to get our kids from school or get to our dentist appointments.

I mostly use the change of seasons to remember how long ago something really was. Like when I think of the first ritual I attended 13 summers ago, or that I have been with my partner these 11 summers now. I’ve found this can help to keep from being so distracted and miserable watching the hours tick away every day to relate it to the experiences that you have had since that certain event, or how much life you have to look forward to experiencing before going on that next vacation or having that next anniversary

Get back to your roots.  As the stars and sun have their dance. They don’t care what day we call it, or what “time it is”. They just keep doing what it is they do… We should too.

Ava Satanis

The HellBilly Pulpit: The Brooding Time - Gen X in the ’90s

What can I say that hasn’t been said already about the 90s and Gen X?

Maybe, I can just reflect on what it was like from my point of view during that amazing time.

I was in high school and if I only knew then what I know now lol. I remember this was when I first became aware of what was going on in life. I was listening to something new that I had just bought, it was nothing like I’d heard before-, Alice in Chains Facelift and I thought to myself, here it is, this is a new beginning, MY beginning, I can be anything and whoever I want to be.

My time was a bit “in-between” so to speak. Big hair and glam metal were fading away and Grunge was just starting to break the surface. So weird that in-between time. We/I didn't know where to go.

During these next few years, I saw things that are now just footnoted in pop culture, although through the eyes of wonder. We didn’t have cell phones and youtube and we BARELY had anything that resembled the internet. Social media was Mtv and Mtv2. Ren and Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead, Nickelodeon, and man was it fun. We saw Waco go down, the first attack on the trade center, the first gulf war, and President Clinton. Oh, man... We also had Achy Breaky Heart and the first Gen Power Rangers. Comedy for us teens was a mixture of everyday humor, to that cutting edge of the adult world just peppered in there. It was glorious. I remember laughing harder in that time frame than I have through most of my adult life so far. Things were cool. Things were carefree. Things were getting weird.

Then something happened. We got broody, angsty, annoyed, and irritated. We didn’t end up being like our older brothers and sisters who were so eager to live out what our parents wanted for them. We didn’t want to be told who we were supposed to be. A lot of us watched our parents work themselves stupid as we became latchkey kids. Minimal supervision and a shift in our reality all fed into this, “life sucks and everything is dreary” sort of attitude that became what a lot of us perceive as “gen x”. We went from Disney to Tim Burton. We were determined to break that mold and stop living what everyone wanted us to do and be ourselves. We became the “slackers and the losers” (thanks Beck for the unofficial theme song), and not caring as each day that passed was just another dreary reminder that we did, didn’t matter in the end. Life sucks and reality bites.

Music changed our lives instantly. Record stores were a thing and we could immerse ourselves in just about any genre or style you could think of. Man, we were an eclectic bunch. My tape rotation consisted of Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden one minute and then Slayer, Pantera, Suicidal Tendencies, Danzig, and Metallica the next. The more intense, the better. It was cathartic to know that what I felt inside was felt by others too. The music told me that I’m not alone. That still resonates today, sometimes even more with all of the subgenre and side projects that my favorite bands have spawned or influenced since that time.

There was no shortage of fuel for our fire either. We had The Craft, The Crow, Nine Inch Nails, and Tool all reaching out to open our minds and set us free. White Zombie beat the normal out of us and threw on the dirt, it was amazing. Korn brought out our anger and set it on fire.  Big shorts and pants before Jnco’s were a thing. The Blair Witch, Lalapalooza, the second Woodstock, skateboards, piercings, tattoos, and punk rock on top of it all! The freaks were in and we weren’t going away!

In the latter part of the 90s, I was in the military for a brief time, got married at 20, and thought I had life planned out... SMACK- I was discharged, divorced, and living with my bros to watch the turn of the century. Lol... Y2K! Your computers are gonna die!!! Man, we were stupid back then... Wait.. we still are... Maybe worse lol.

I embraced my time as a slacker in the military where my ideals were definitely not what the military needed or wanted. I found myself once again, outcast and brooding. I discovered that I wasn’t just socially different, I was spiritually different. Basic Training found a lot of us regretting our decisions and looking for comfort. I tried the church only to find it just felt too generic. All of the people in the pews reciting the same prayers, praying for the same things, and just being immersed in their cookie-cutter spirituality. It did not speak to my individual wants or needs or feelings. I wanted... No, I needed something more. This wasn’t for me.

Enter the occult. Enter paganism. Enter the anti-established religion mentality.

I started out with learning about some ancient celt myth and magick (my first book), from there I kind of branched out in about a half dozen different ways. I read about Satanism, Wicca, Atheism, and tons of things in between. Mind that when I started this road to discovery, I was an enlisted soldier in the US Army. these things did not go over well with those in charge. We had a prayer once before a holiday-themed run where I did not participate. I stood there, looking around, being respectful to those who were participating, but  I was called into the office and asked if I practiced “the dark arts”. I had to laugh. Such a blanket, stereotype pinned on me for just being true to myself. They must have seen my barracks room. Blacked out with various metal band merch laying about with the quasi shrine to Marilyn Manson. The incense and what probably struck them more than anything was the lack of any Christian-themed propaganda, I mean decor. :)

All of this lead me to believe all the more that I was on the right path when I stood out as an individual enough to make people question who I am and what “is wrong with me”. This was the new brood infecting their rank and file and I’d like to think that I set a path for others that came after me.

When I was discharged and went home, I felt out of place. I had a new appreciation for the world, nature, and humanity all because of staying true to who I wanted to be even beyond the brainwashing that I endured. That is another story for another time though...

Those years in the ’90s really were a crazy time to come of age. But I wouldn’t change a thing about it. It set me up for life’s later difficulties and triumphs.

It was the brooding time.

Ava Satanis

HBVV

The HellBilly Pulpit: Fly Children, Fly

It’s a mess. 

This country. This world.

Our grandparents and parents have not done much to progress this world. 

We are still living with racism, classism, poverty, hunger, and homelessness. This is 2022. We should have evolved much farther beyond this by now. But here we are. Those in power, stay in power with antiquated ideas and sensibilities.

Enough is enough.

I’m going to tell you a bit of advice. I’m coming from the position of an outsider myself. A black sheep. An anomaly to my surroundings. So please. Don’t dismiss my thoughts as some middle-aged man who doesn’t get it.  I do, I did, and hope to keep up with it.

Children, younglings, teens, and young adults. Get up!  Get out there and make a difference.  Go vote. Go fight for a cause. Don’t take anyone looking down their nose at you. Don’t let them make you complacent.  You all are some of the most diverse and free-thinking people in decades and the world will soon be yours to make what it should be.

The boomer's days are numbered. Their numbers are thinning.

Take the opening and learn how things SHOULD work and get them back that way.

Be kind. Be open-minded.

Reach out to those who have less and try to help wherever you can. Set an example for your younger siblings and children of your own that you can be proud of.

Make chaos. Make anarchy. Make noise. Beat on their doors and tell them that you’ve had enough. It’s time for the new blood to take charge.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for any part of this situation that the elders have left you all in. I’m sorry for any part that I may have been inadvertently involved in. I saw my errors and decided that I wasn’t taking part anymore.

Empathy. Compassion. That is what is going to make the world a better place.

Believe in your science. Believe in your art. This can be a dawning of a new age and I want to see what fires you all can start.

Deconstruct religion! Tear down the church's walls. Be like those pagans before us and realize what your truth is that you carry in your heart.

Cast your spells. Speak to the other side. Look at the mother moon and ask her what guidance she can offer.

Your cards and your divine gifts will help you keep your moral path. Don’t give in. Don’t just give up, refuse to grow up! Don’t let the brimstone and fire stories they used to scare you with, keep you from walking your path.

In my spiritual path, I don’t necessarily follow one set of ideals. I use many from many sources to help me feel aligned and in touch with my soul and its connection to the universe. I’ve meditated on this issue, I’ve thought long and hard and tried to put my best energy out into the world to try to help make it a reality.

Part of what drives me is my connections to my ancestors. I’ve asked for guidance or any clues as to what the solution could possibly be. The thing I come back to again and again is that our solutions lay not with my generation, but with those following on our heels. I truly feel that this could work. So I write to you all. I try to reach out to give hope where there is none. Strength to bolster someone’s weaknesses. I write to express my message that all is not truly lost. That we need to come together in our dismissal of “normalcy” and show the world what they didn’t know they were missing.

You may not think so now. But I’m telling you all… this reality is temporary and it’s all clay in your hands.

Remember, you can cause more from chaos within.

I hope you all use your intelligence and spiritual knowledge to make this world a better place.  Make it what it should have been so long ago. These old fucks aren’t going to do it.  It’s time for you to take the reigns and get this world back on the right track.

I believe in you. My brothers and sisters believe in you. Ask us for any help you need. We will boost you up. We will give you all the advice we can along with all the support we can.

Fly Children, Fly.

Don’t look back.

Ava Satanis

HBVV

Cryptic Mystic: What is Love?!

Love. We hear this word often. But what does it mean? The word “love” is over-used in society to the point where many feel no significance towards the word. The phrase “I love you” is simply a phrase. The meaning behind the words and the actions that precede or follow the words are what actually give the words meaning. Of course, this differs depending on who you’re talking to. Love is subjective. It is also important to note that there are different kinds of love, just like there are different types of relationships. For example - you likely don’t have the same type of relationship with your mother as you do with your lover, and the type of love you experience and express is likely also very different as well. Love is not an all-encompassing word.

Words are power, which is why we call the formation of letters into words “spelling.” Words are a form of spellwork. You hold so much power every time you speak, or every time you write/type. Words have the ability to draw so much emotion; cutting like a knife to the heart or overflowing our hypothetical cup with bliss. This becomes very important to remember when working within your craft. Words, emotions, it all ties together to create an intention. But how can we harness or control this power? How can we utilize it properly? There is no one set-in-stone way, as are with most things, but I can share with you some ideas and thoughts that will at least get your brain turning.

So… the big question… What is love? I’ll start by explaining the different types of love. Now, I will remind you that this is in no way a complete list of possibilities, for most things can be added to, taken away from, etc. These types of love are not exclusive, rather are most common and most relatable to the general population. Along with the different types of love, there are also parts of the body that coincide with each that serve as a vessel of sorts in relation to the type of love experienced.

The first type of love is Philia (fill-ee-uh), otherwise known as “affectionate love.” This is the type of love that you often see in strong friendships. Philia is present within strong platonic bonds between individuals who are not in a romantic/intimate type of relationship. The human mind is the vessel in which Philia is associated with because these strong bonds do require a certain amount of trust, familiarity, and similarity between individuals or “being on the same wavelength.” Some ways in which people express this type of love include having deep conversations, expressing openness and trust, engaging in bonding activities, offering consistent support, and just being there for one another in general. If you have a best friend, this is that type of love.

The second type of love is Pragma (prag-muh), also known as “enduring love.” This type of love can be seen in life-long bonds between partners and is more mature in nature. The key point here is that it develops over a period of time and isn’t something short-term or spontaneous. It may have started as such, but has evolved and matured over several years. The vessel in which Pragma lies is within the subconscious. This is a type of love that isn’t felt emotionally with intent or conscious effort - it just becomes what it is. This love is always an equal 50/50 split where one person does not give more or less than the other. There is a sense of strong purpose that comes with this type of love. Ways in which this type of love is expressed is through a continuous strengthening and stability of the relationship over a long-term time frame, exhibiting equal effort within the relationship, and making the decision to be with this person forever as one. If you are in a romantic/intimate type of relationship that is long-term where both parties put forth equal effort and feels “natural” then you are experiencing Pragma.

The third type of love is Storge (storj), otherwise known as “familiar love.” We touched on this one a little bit in Philia, but it is indeed its own separate entity because this love cannot only be found in close friendships, but also between parents/caregivers and children. Specifically, the vessel in which Storge lies is within memories, because this love is familiar. Oftentimes people say Storge “feels comforting, like home.” Storge is organic, never forced, and involves a deep emotional connection between parties. The memories with these individuals stand out and are deep-rooted in nature. The more memories shared with the person, the higher the value is placed on the relationship. Ways in which people express Storge include self-sacrifice (time, enjoyable activities, ect.), being able to forgive one another quickly when mistakes are made, and sharing many fond memories (which are continuing to be made). If you share a healthy and close (familiar) relationship with a parent/caregiver, you have experienced Storge.

The fourth type of love is Eros (air-ohs), also known as “romantic love.” This type of love is all-consuming and often involves a physical component. When experiencing Eros, there is a strong infatuation with the person and pleasure-seeking behaviors are exhibited. The vessel in which Eros is found is within the body as a whole. Some may say they feel “butterflies” in their stomach, lightness in the chest, tingling in the genitals, and a plethora of other somatic symptoms when experiencing Eros. The key point of eros is to engage in pleasure-seeking activities with the person you are infatuated with. Eros can be expressed through touching, caressing, kissing, or engaging in sexual acts. If it isn’t already obvious, hormones play a huge role within Eros. If you have kissed someone sensually or had sex with someone and felt similar feelings to those described above, you have experienced Eros. Keep in mind, this looks different for everyone. Different strokes for different folks.

The fifth type of love is Ludus (loo-doos), or “playful love.” The vessel in which Ludus lies is within emotions. Ludus is all about expressing emotions through flirtatious endeavors. This does not include any of the physical components - see Eros above. This type of love is a gateway for an intimate relationship. You may have heard this type of love described as the “honeymoon phase.” There may be a sense of excitement and overall jovial attitude whenever someone is around the person they are experiencing Ludus towards. Ways in which Ludus is expressed include engaging in playful banter, flirting, laughing, joking, and having fun in a child-like manner. If you have ever flirted with a potential partner (or even a current new partner), you have experienced Ludus.

The sixth type of love is Mania (may-nee-uh). It is exactly what it sounds like. This type of love is obsessive in nature, where a person goes absolutely head-over-heels batshit crazy over their romantic/intimate partner. The vessel in which this type of love lies is within a person’s natural survival instincts. This type of love should be avoided due to the potential harmful mental health risks that will likely ensue. People who experience Mania often focus entirely on the other person and fixate on their every move. Focusing on the self is completely out the window - which is NOT good at all. This type of love often leads to jealousy, envy, and controlling possessive behaviors. In more extreme cases, this is the type of love that people literally kill over. The main cause of Mania is said to be an imbalance between Ludus and Eros. Keeping a healthy and stable level of playfulness and romance within the relationship may help in avoiding this type of love. The survival instinct that kicks in with Mania is because the person desperately feels that they need the other person to give themselves any sense of meaning or purpose. Individuals who experience Mania are often afraid of abandonment and will do anything to keep their partner to themselves. This may stem from childhood abandonment issues, but there are a plethora of other factors to be considered, of course. If you begin to feel this way towards a person, try focusing on yourself more rather than putting all of your focus on the other person. You may also stop and think about the way you are feeling and question why you feel the way you do - dig deep. This ultimately avoids an unhealthy relationship, codependency issues, or any of the significantly worse things that may come along with experiencing Mania. Trust is key here. Being able to trust the other person and for them to trust you equally is a huge protective factor.

The seventh type of love is Philautia (fill-out-ia). This type of love is all about the self. Self-love is required before one can truly love someone else in a healthy way. Some may argue with me on this, but I have never seen a healthy relationship where both people didn’t seem confident in loving themselves as well. On the other side of the coin, every relationship I’ve seen that was unstable always involved at least one or both parties having low self-confidence, self-esteem, and an overall diminished sense of self-love. The vessel in which Philautia lies is deep within the person, some might call this a “soul,” but you call it whatever you like. Philautia involves recognizing your self-worth and not allowing anyone to take it away. This type of love involves strength and truth. A person who experiences Philautia realizes that it is their sole responsibility to do what is necessary to take care of themselves and engage in regular self-care for a rounded sense of wellbeing. Ways in which this can be accomplished include surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and uplifting, creating an environment that makes you feel good, taking care of yourself, and engaging in regular self-care (taking time for yourself regularly). If you engage in an activity that makes you feel good on a regular basis that improves your overall quality of life (e.g., yoga, meditation, a hot bath, etc.) you have experienced Philautia. Again, this looks different for everyone - there is no set way to experience this.

The eighth and last type of love I will talk about is Agape (uh-gahp-ay), or “selfless love.” This type of love can be shown towards anyone and involves empathy, support, and unconditional love. The vessel in which this love lies is within the self, or what some might call “spirit.” This type of love is of the most high because there are no underlying intentions, no gains to be had, and it just comes naturally to anyone and everyone around a person. There is a purpose here that is bigger than oneself. Agape includes the ability to express love and kindness in any given situation, no matter how bad the circumstances may be - being selfless. Ways in which people might express Agape include volunteering to improve the lives of others, staying conscious and grounded in your decision-making from day to day, and offering your time to someone who really needs it. If you practice any of the mentioned items above or something similar, you have experienced Agape.

What is the ideal combination of these 8 types of love? With so much information and so many types of love, it is challenging to decipher which type of love may be right for you in your relationships with others. I will offer you three combination suggestions: one for friendships, one for family, and one for intimate/romantic partners. You may take my suggestions or leave them, or maybe you want to create your own combination. As I always say, you choose what you believe - and thus you choose what is right for YOU.

Friendship: Philia, Storge, Philautia Romantic/Intimate Partner: Pragma, Eros, Ludus Family: Storge, Agape, Philia

Again, feel free to mix and match. There is no right or wrong answer here. The only type of love you will want to avoid at all costs is Mania, which I feel needs no further explanation.

So how does this tie into your craft? Think about the different types of love and if any of these resonate with you within your occult practices. I know our population here is very diverse, so this will likely look different for all of you, as do most things. I will give you an example as it applies to witchcraft, specifically. If witchcraft isn’t your thing and you’re into something else, that's cool - you may still be able to take something away from this. Or you may just enjoy the read. Either way, I’m glad you’re here.

Love spells have been popularized and romanticized throughout history. Whether someone seeks to strengthen a relationship they already have with someone, or they want to make someone fall in love with them - many seek to find some form of love in one way or another. Many types of items can be utilized in love spells including foods, candles, herbs, trinkets, household items, oils, plants, items from the earth, items from the human body or other living beings, and so much more. Many forms of magick can be intertwined within this practice as well from many types of witches including (but not limited to) Secular, Black, Sea, Tech, Green, Dianic, Solitary, Voodoo, Hedge, Shadow, Divination, Fae, Draconic, Eclectic, Necromantic, Shaman, etc.

Today I will share three spells with you that I hand-selected from a vintage spellbook that was passed on to me through several generations.


SPELL #1

The first spell is one of self-love, which is highly recommended that you complete before all others. You may choose to do this spell on its own, but it is best to perform this spell ritualistically alongside (before) all other types of spells in the future, regardless of type/intention. The point here is to strengthen yourself before you move forward with your main spell-work for the evening. You must complete this spell on the night of a full moon. The items you will need include the following:

a photo of yourself


several thin ribbons


a silver photo frame


several white candles


1. Create an altar (if you do not have one already) filled with items that exhibit what love means to you. Make sure to choose items (flowers, colors, trinkets, etc.) that are appealing to you and mean something to you. 


2. Trim your photo into a heart shape


3. Adorn your photo with the ribbons around the edges in whatever way you choose


4. Chant as you work - you may choose to hum or sing a song that you enjoy that is about love, or you may choose to make one up as you go (trusting your instincts to guide your words)


5. When you are done decorating the edges of your photo with ribbon, place the photo within the silver photo frame and then set it on your altar


6. Light (at minimum) one white candle every night next to your photo until the following full moon. If you miss a night, you will need to begin the process over. Disclaimer: don’t ever leave your candle(s) burning if you leave your home or if you go to sleep. Be sure you are awake and monitoring any type of open flame.


Once a full moon cycle has passed you may choose to continue this practice as a ritual. If you would like to change the picture, simply repeat the process over again on the night of a full moon.

SPELL #2

This spell is for those who may have a new romantic interest and is designed to evoke your new lover to reveal their true selves. Heed warning, this spell will only work if there is a sense of destiny within the relationship. So, you essentially kill two birds with one stone here - you find out who your new lover truly is and also if there is a future with the person. You can complete this spell during any moon phase. The key to the natural environment in which you cast this spell is that it must be during a thunderstorm - the more intense the better. You will utilize the energy from the storm to communicate this silent message to your love. The items you will need include the following:

A photo of your new lover


A mirror (can be mounted on a wall)


6 small candles from the rainbow spectrum (each differing in color)


A thunderstorm from mother nature


1. Place the photo of your lover where their reflection will be caught in the mirror


2. Place the candles where their reflection will also be caught in the mirror as well (you want the candles to illuminate your lover's face - it will look eerie!)


3. Using the force of the storm, focus on your lover’s image and will your lover to shed any doubt or fear of judgment within the relationship and to commit to the relationship more through showing their “true self.” 


4. Ensure that the candles are continuing to burn as you proceed to address your lover (if the candles blow out, this may be an indication that the relationship will also fizzle out - this isn’t definite, but I have seen my fair share of people who have experienced this).


5. If there is any passion in the relationship and there is a future to be had, your lover will soon show more of themselves.


SPELL #3

The last spell is one for those who have a partner who maybe had a childhood that was not so great, and thus has trust issues or issues with making complete attachments. There may be lingering insecurities present, or some other issues within your current relationship due to this. This spell can be cast during any moon phase. The items you will need include the following:

A lock of your lover’s hair


A lock of your hair


A small padlock


A tiny freezer-proof container


Honey


An early snowdrop or bluebell


1. Weave the locks of hair together 


2. Place the intertwined hair within the padlock


3. Place the padlock with the hair intertwined within it into the freezer-proof container


4. Pour honey over the top while asking that it sweetens all memories of past sadness


5. Place the flower head into the honey


6. Secure the container, put it into the freezer, and blow it a kiss as you close the door


7. At regular intervals, blow the charm a kiss


This spell can produce great results if done with sincerity and strength.

I hope that you have enjoyed this lengthy yet informative February blog. There is so much in store for 2022 on the blog and I am glad that you have chosen to be here reading my words. Always remember, you choose what you believe. Regardless of what you believe in, I respect you and I honor your presence. May the remainder of February bring you nothing but great things. We’re only getting started with our year. Let’s make the best of it.

The HellBilly Pulpit: Music: infused in my DNA

A little more of an upbeat subject this month and one of my favorite topics in general.

Music.

As far back as I can remember, music has always been a part of me. From those times in my earliest memories when it was country music of the late ’70s (I am in Appalachia after all) on the radio that was always on, or my dad belting out his favorite songs to sing at his band practices or the last black metal album I got into last week. I’ve loved it all.

It’s a family rite of passage. My grandfather was a fiddler, mandolin, and guitar player - and he brought up my dad in much the same way. Music.

Me, I’m a drummer and used to be an aspiring singer, but not so much these days. Age, time, and opportunity have not gotten along very well to be able to be active for a while now.

But even though I’m not playing, there is always, ALWAYS, a soundtrack in my head. I carry earbuds with me everywhere and I have extra pairs stashed in multiple areas. I need it. I breathe it.

My tastes have certainly changed since those early days. I went from the country-western background to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and everything in between. I didn’t even know there were other types of music until my parent’s split up and I moved down off the mountain, lol. But there it was. Rock radio on the bus to and from school in the mornings and my mind was blown.

Michael Jackson, Roy Orbison, Tears for Fears, George Michael - on and on and on. Anyone who was anyone in the mid to late 80’s that you can think of. I was like a sponge absorbing it all.

I didn’t have a particular genre that really pulled me in. Until, (lol) of all things, ZZ Top. Man what a ride that was. It was ZZ and then Aerosmith and with that came all of the hair metal, Motley Crue, Gn’R, Skid Row, man it was electric! Then.. Nirvana happened and it was the turn of another page.

I could literally go on and on and on about the different influences that sprang out of those early days. But, I want to bring it to my adult years and where I realized just how important music really is to me.

I’m a metalhead. First and foremost. I love a lot of genres but metal is my soul.

A soundtrack to many moonlit nights, bonfires, and adventures. I turned face-first into the goth aesthetic.

Candelabras, crushed red velvet, incense, an entire wardrobe of black. I let the outside match the inside. Black metal, pentagrams, and corpse paint. They all lifted my spirits better than any drug I've ever tried.

I had three defining bands, one was The Misfits, the second GWAR, and then Cradle of Filth.

Those guitars and double bass riffs made me imagine that I was floating in a river of sound waves that would wash over me and take me wherever they wanted to.

I'm sure you know that feeling. When you know, you know. That riff, that chorus, that solo of that song that grafts itself to your brain. Your tastes may change, but you'll always be able to come back to that moment every time that song plays.

Now, there is also the use of music in rituals. Adding just the right soundtrack before, during after your practice, your prayers, your offerings.

This to me is as much a part of the magick as your wand, your cards, or candles. Music helps set the mood and your mindset to be open and receptive and to offer a hospitable place for your deities and ancestors to have a tranquil and receptive gathering place as you go through your rites.

There’s something about finding just the right soundtrack and how it can transport you to another time and another place. You feel it in your soul, it helps transcend you to another level of connection to your deeper self.

I have always used some kind of ambient, instrumental music, as described from videos as “Pagan” or “Norse” or “Celtic” and that has always set the tone just fine.

One night I discovered a deeper connection to my spirituality and music like I had never known before. It anchored itself to my core. (I hope everyone gets to have a true experience like I had and can make it their own). I was enjoying a playlist from YouTube that was in this category of “pagan” music as I had mentioned and relaxingly fell asleep. But, I woke up in the middle of the night and was completely and totally transfixed by what I was witnessing. It spoke to me in a way that no other group or artists in this genre had ever come close to hitting. A group named Heilung. Absolutely amazing. That’s when I felt that pull on my soul from the inside and understood that I was missing an element in my spiritual life. When you know something that connects to you from the past deep inside you, don’t let it go. Embrace it, let it speak to your subconscious letting it take you further into your spells and ceremonies than you ever thought possible.

No matter your religion or practice be it Pagan, Christian, Satanic, or anything in between. There's a soundtrack out there that will add just that extra element to your setting and your practice.

A poesy for the music ingrained into us that gives us our motivation and soundtracks to memories.

Spilling into your mind

Like a dam that broke away

Sonic envelopment

Rhythmic understanding

Lifting you higher and higher

When you didn’t know you were down

There’s nothing as moving as music

When your soul is so hard to be found

Ava Satanis HBVV

The HellBilly Pulpit: Come to Silver…

Come to Silver…

We are a new breed. The first generation to not adapt to the typical middle-aged monotony. No Golf shirts or shorts, no adult contemporary or easy listening radio. No, we are not going to adapt to that “norm”. We are going to make our own path in life... Still.

I know my brothers and sisters of Gen X have a totally new perception (imagine that lol) of what it is to get older.

No. We will NOT grow up. We will NOT be complacent. We will NOT be “normal” or “act our age.”

We are still going to wear our t-shirts and jeans (or cargo shorts ha!), get tattooed and piercings, and forever be loyal to our rock ‘n roll (or whatever genre floats your boat). We are still going to go to concerts and act a fool!

Who said that just because you’re “old” you have to be boring and stagnant?

I wear my gray in my beard as a badge of honor. We’ve been through some shit and we’ve seen better days. But here we are. Still angst-ridden as fuck and goddamn annoyed by everything.

We are coming to take control from the boomers (our parents) and telling them to sit the fuck down and shut up! They’ve once again, embarrassed us with their cluelessness the same way they did when we were kids. This time just on a grander scale.

We are gonna pave the way for the next generation so that they can jump into the driver’s seat and leave all of this bullshit behind where it belongs.

It’s a real mindfuck to look back and see where we have been and how long ago it really was, but it seems like just yesterday in so many ways.

There’s an awakening (not in the force young padawans) of a new spirituality. The new primitives are here. Witches- Satanists- Occultists of all sorts are stepping out of the shadows. We are reevaluating what our spirituality means to us.

I’ve lived in their gospel, only to be pushed back and embarrassed or shamed. Well, yes. I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed of the old school establishment. The patriarchy. The ignorance. The lack of empathy. And the lack of common-goddamned-sense.

The gods, the earth, the moon, and the sun are all speaking to us now. They are telling us to put our emotions and intentions out into this world so that they can manifest and become so much more with the power of many coming together. It’s amazing to think, to know, that your intentions and energy are out there in the world and that they matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s time to find our voices in speaking out against the established/organized religion(s) and fight for fairness, not just for ourselves, but for everyone in the world, especially those who cannot speak for themselves.

Listen with your heart, your mind, and your feelings. Let yourself be gravitated to what needs you. Trust yourself and feel. Claim your cauldron, find those stones. Make them not just your tools, but extensions into the world. Make your offerings, speak your spells! Your soul will feel it and your mind will crave it. Just let the feelings out to flow with the waves of the now. Be true to yourself and others.

Take your time mid-agers, you Gen x kids. Your younger brothers and sisters need us to lead by example so that they can take up the reigns and fight, fight, fight for everyone and everything… as above and as below…

They need us.

Ava Satanis

HBVV

Cryptic Mystic: We Are the Mask

The things you like, how you socialize, your reactions - all make up parts of your personality. Deciphering the truth from the lies; we possess the ability to morph who we are. How much/what do we mask, and what purpose does “masking” serve? This month’s blog dives deep into a few topics that all tie together to create one collective theme. As most things in life, these topics are intertwined. You’ll likely take something different from this blog than the next person, but that’s how my blogs are, as you probably well know… Now, without further adieu, let’s jump into this one.

To start, I’d like to take a moment to ask that you visit the website 16personalities.com and take their personality test. I guarantee you’ll gain valuable insight into your personality, and how you compare with others. It may even help you to better understand yourself or others. I always get the result of “Protagonist: ENFJ-A”. This result hasn’t changed in the last 5 years, however, psychologists and layperson test-takers alike will let you know that throughout life the results can change. So, on a scale of 1-100, here are my detailed results: 

MIND (Introversion VS extroversion): 89% extroverted

ENERGY (intuitive VS observant): 79% intuitive

NATURE (thinking VS feeling): 53% feeling

TACTICS (judging VS prospecting): 94% judging

IDENTITY (assertive VS turbulent): 56% assertive

Personality is a somewhat stable thing but has the potential to change over time in certain ways. There are some parts of us that I fully believe will never change. I term those the “concrete personality factors.” However, there are plenty of things about our personality that we can change if we try. Strong willpower and mind can aid in changing one's personality traits that are malleable. The not-so-malleable personality traits are much harder to change (if changing them is even possible) and would take a great amount of self-discipline and maybe even some serious professional therapy. My perspective: embrace who you are! If there is something about yourself that you would like to change because it is harmful to yourself or others, then work towards that change. At the end of the day, you are the only person who holds the key to changing who YOU are. The choice is ultimately yours. I tell people, no amount of therapy can change a person unless they truly want to change in the first place. Just like no one else can force you to change. Changing requires work and effort on YOUR part. 

So how do masks tie into all of this? People hide who they are behind metaphorical masks all of the time. We see this in several realms, however not all always apply in this context to everyone. We see examples of people “masking” who they really are through makeup, clothing, behaviors, and actions on a daily basis. Some are better at hiding who they are than others, and some of these folks you likely believe that you know who they are, but in reality, you have no idea. That’s one of the interesting things about the internet - you can be whoever you want to be. Whether that is your true self or a figment of who you are, the internet is a place where we see the most “masking.” Deciphering the truth from the lies in this digital world can be challenging.

I’ll tell you a story about an encounter I had early on in the age of technology and computers. Back in the olden days of dial-up internet, we had these things called chat rooms. Haha. Okay, I’ll stop acting like most of you don’t know what the hell dial-up and that whole era of technology looked like because I’m sure that a majority of you experienced it firsthand like me. Anyway, so I was in a chat room talking with random strangers. I really hit it off with this one guy. We liked a lot of the same music and had a similar style. He sent me some pictures and I thought he was attractive. We had good conversations. It was a good friendship so far, so after talking with him for a few months I decided to set up a meeting. I decided to be on the safe side just in case and take a friend with me to meet him for the first time. A friend of mine needed to go visit her boyfriend so she agreed to give me a ride to the location and agreed to leave me there while she ran to her boyfriend’s house only if I was comfortable. If I wanted her to stay she agreed that she would stay with me. We drove the 30 minutes into town and approached the location in her pickup truck. As we came closer to the building I could see a guy standing outside of the building (it was a bar) and he was smoking a cigarette. He was wearing all black, chains hanging off of his pants, and a front-facing black baseball-style cap. I knew that had to be him. We stopped in front of the building and he walked towards the truck on the driver's side where my friend was sitting. Upon reaching the window, he looked absolutely nothing like the picture he had sent me. In fact, he was much older than the picture he had sent me. Yes, you can laugh, your friendly neighborhood witch Kavita was officially catfished before catfishing was a thing. *cue laughter* He had an extremely creepy energy coming off of him (and not the good kind). He asked what we were up to, and I told him we had some errands to run, but that I just wanted to stop by and say hi. He was eyeballing me like a piece of meat. I grew intensely uncomfortable. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My friend sensed that this was not the meeting I had intended and explained to him that we had to go, but that it was good meeting him and quickly drove away. She began laughing, looked over at me with a sheepish smile, and said, “what in the fuck was that?!” 

Oh, the early days of the internet. It was the wild west. It still is to a certain extent, but back then it was a much different time. My story paints an important picture about how people can easily put on a mask to impress others or to lure in their prey. I’ll never be certain of that man’s intention, but he lied about many things for one reason or another and that’s not cool. 

Looking at masks from a literal perspective and their origin, the first masks are from at least 9000 years ago. They were thought to have been used for occult rituals in countries like China and Africa. Some masks were to ward off evil spirits, while others were used for disguise, entertainment, or even for religious worship. The earliest masks were made from tree bark and leather. Some of these masks were in the shape of a human face, however, some were shaped like animal faces. Animal face masks often symbolized the connection between native people and nature. Many tribes and ancient cultures (some of which still exist today) gave utmost importance to nature, animals, and the world around them. As time went on, sometimes animal masks were used in sync with someone’s zodiac as a form of personal representation.

Masks have come a long way since their invention. Today masks can be used for protection (as we know all too well in this day and age), as well as to supply oxygen and other drugs during procedures or in life-threatening situations. We see people wear masks on Halloween (counting the days over here!) as well as for social gatherings, such as a masquerade-themed party or on New Year’s Eve. 

So, we’ve talked about metaphorical masks as well as masks in the literal sense. I hope that you were able to take something from this blog. Whether you learned something new that you found interesting or maybe you even learned something about yourself through that personality quiz. Until next month, be easy and stay safe out there my fellow earth wanderers. 

<3 - K

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch