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One day, I will multiply and teleport simply because I wanted to keep sitting on my balcony journal, braindump and brainstorm, write poetry, plan my upcoming years with my creative interests, works, projects, and visions - while wanting to be in my kitchen dancing to the new music I want to feral to. I do already combine my kitchen dances with writing on the counter, but, i want to stay outside because the clouds today, the wind, the raindrops -
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Amazing Digital Circus (Web Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus), Jax (The Amazing Digital Circus), Ragatha (The Amazing Digital Circus), Zooble (The Amazing Digital Circus), Gangle (The Amazing Digital Circus), Kinger (The Amazing Digital Circus), Caine (The Amazing Digital Circus), Bubble (The Amazing Digital Circus), Original Characters Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Spudsy's (The Amazing Digital Circus) Summary:
A new funny fella appears in the Digital Circus, they're pretty sure this whole thing is a weird drug trip. They'll probably come down eventually... right? No time to dwell on that, we have work to do at Spudsy's!
Cw for explicit discussion of psychedelic drugs
Took another crack at writing my OC into the circus, I think I kinda like this start better than the last one, really tried not to rehash too much of the episode (but I mean that's a bit unavoidable considering they're in the episode)
Part of me wants to keep writing my tadc oc fanfic but at the same time I know its just gonna be me recounting drug trips I've had, having existential talks with the group about the meaning of life (spoilers: there isn't one, we just exist and finding meaning IS the meaning of human life), and hugging Ragatha a bunch
Like I have no idea what kind of plot there would be or if every chapter would be dialog lmao
Is the niche too niche? How much overlap is there between TADC fans and burnt out psychonaut furries?
Also that fic has existed for 2 months and only gotten 52 views so I'm not convinced many people would read it regardless, if I do write more I'd probably just scrap the og and start over, maybe put it at an earlier point in the shows run, idk
Lowkey I just want to write about the weirdest trip I ever had because that was like 2 years ago at this point and I still think about it A LOT
It is the eve of my 3 year anniversary if being seizure-free. That last one was such a strange one. It happened at home, safe, sitting down (the deal i made: if it has to be, let me be safe). Before i finally registered the fact as i went to bed absolutely drained and tired in every cell, I vaguely remember having been on my balcony for a moment in kind of a hazy state. It doesn't feel like a daydream. Much more like being a little bit too high and trying hard to stay on earth and not just evaporate into space and time.
Anyway, i went to bed remembering an aunt or grandma looking at me, or watching over me, and i felt calm and not scared anymore, but feeling the warmth of "everything is okay, everything will be alright". At pretty much the same time i realized that i don't know these women of my flashbacks. The emotional bond of such a memory was absolutely uncanny but i didn't know their faces and how they felt, their aura, their being, was different too. As if i had a little thick paper sample for perfume in each of my hands and alternating between the scents to decide.
I love our brains, our bodies. It could have been just my brain firing away for whatever reason and give me these pictures, these feelings. And i choose to believe that they were imprints of some ancestors of mine. Maybe they were the ones ensuring my safety and i somehow got a glimpse of them, or they chose to be seen (because it was such a long recovery time until i got up and to bed in comparison to previous seizures, they weren't nearly as exhausting).
One theory prior to this last one about why i suddenly had so many seizures was ( four within two years, after two and seven years of peace and quiet), that they also served as a spiritual reboot and update. That first one in April 2021 was about a month after i read enough about neurodiversity to suspect some things, and had given CBD oil another (successfull) try.
As serious as it is (i needed to make that deal, that agreement, to be able to surrender instead of fearing that dormant thunderstorm), it's also interesting to play around with experiences like these and, as always, not just try to make sense of it but give it a meaning.
Finally got my hands on some acid. I'm gonna take a (much-needed) tolerance break til the 30th. So excited to blast off!
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So excited to do shrooms again on Monday.
Did a hit of acid today. Why not? Was fun. Danced a lot. Laughed a lot. Talked with my homies. Not sure if it fixed anything. But hey, you gotta try these things. At least it was a good trip. I only ever have good trips these days. I can tell you how to not have a bad trip, if anyone ever needs such advice. I am a decorated veteran psychonaut. Couple notches on my belt nawmean. Mainly just get stuck in a cycle of sexuality, sometimes. Just unlocks the uh waterfall. Hard to get it to stop sometimes. Must find balance. Always seek homeostasis, comrades. Home is where ya make it. Ya like to see homos naked?! Ah I hope some of y'all have seen Joe Dirt.
