#lambutt

It was her 9th birthday on October 14th

Okay!! I have a migraine fueling this so we’re gonna do some Hurt/comfort I think. Discussion of dyslexia!!

Canon AU, Kaer Morhen

“What’re you reading?”

Jaskier glanced up from his book to see Lambert enter the library, looking weary from splitting logs outside. “It’s an old romance novel written in Elder. Want to check it out?” Jaskier offered the book over, marking his place with his thumb so he could return to it when Lambert inevitably denied his offer.

“I’ll pass,” Lambert huffed. “Not into that shit.”

“What, romance? You liar. Why, just the other day you brought me a lovely assortment of berries you foraged and dragged me out for a picnic I’m the courtyard. And don’t try to tell me you don’t know Elder, I’ve heard you talk with Eskel.”

Lambert looked like he’d been caught with a stolen honeycake. “No, I mean… never mind.”

Jaskier had seen the gesture though. “Oh. You mean reading?”

Modern AU, Lambutt—

Jaskier and Lambert meet and become good friends and it’s all dandy and wonderful—

Until Jaskier starts catching feelings.

Because, well...

Lambert is taken.

Jaskier has only heard about Lambert’s boyfriend in passing but has no doubt of his existence. He first funds out when Jaskier mentions an issue he had from a previous relationship— his ex used to take the food he worked really hard on making for himself.

“Oh, Aiden does that all the time.”

So Lambert is unavailable. Or so he thinks.

It goes on for a while, the vague references to Lambert’s partner, and Jaskier finds out a bit more about his behavior and what he does for a living— he feels meek in comparison. “Look, I love him, but he keeps leaving his hair all over the place,” and “he’s gone most of the time anyway, and I miss him a lot. But I don’t want to control him, he was raised to be adventurous.” They have a good relationship. Jaskier would hate to ruin it. And Aiden seems like a nice guy, with a few random habits and quirks that Lambert complains about. “He was being so loud last night, my neighbor came over and told me to keep it down. Embarrassing, right?”

But Jaskier wants to be Lambert’s friend, so he doesn’t want get involved.

It doesn’t stop him from complaining though, telling his best friend Geralt that he can’t pursue his brother because of the other man in his life. Geralt, for one, finds the tale terribly tragic. He’s definitely not laughing at him... right?

When Lambert invites Jaskier to visit, Jaskier expects you meet Aiden. But no such luck. Because of his work schedule, they can only meet up during a certain couple of hours, which happen to be when Aiden is out on his “neighborhood walk.” Lambert says he doesn’t come home for hours, sometimes even after Jaskier leaves.

When Lambert tries to kiss Jaskier for the first time, months after Jaskier’s big fat crush starts, one of the most painful things he does is tell him to stop.

“But... Aiden,” he says, a hand on Lambert’s shoulder.

“...what about him?” Lambert asks. Jaskier is many things, and will do many dumb things, but ruining his friend’s relationship for his own selfish wants is where he draws the line.

“I can’t... get involved like that.”

“Why? Is it because... do you not...”

Before Jaskier can confess, there is a soft tap from near the back door.

“Oh, he’s home,” Lambert says, and he sounds so heartbroken. He gets up— “You should go, Jaskier.”

Things get awkward between them for a while, but they eventually move past it. Jaskier’s complaints to Geralt don’t cease. “He likes me too, but I just can’t do that to his relationship.”

“Hmm.”

It finally culminates when Jaskier comes to visit on a rare day off, bright and early. He’s had a key to Lambert’s house for a while, though he’s never had to use it. He opens the front door and something darts out between his legs, a soft Murrow his only indication of what the creature is.

“Lambert!” He calls into the building. “I didn’t know you were watching someone’s cat!” He steps inside and sees Lambert in the kitchen, making pancakes. The car follows him inside, winding around his ankles.

“Shit!” Lambert says. “Why didn’t you text me you were coming over?”

“I wanted to surprise you! I had a day off.”

“But Aiden—“

“Oh, is he here?” And Jaskier starts peering around. It is early though, it’s possible Lambert’s Beau is still asleep. Lambert had mentioned he liked to sleep in.

“Jaskier, he’s-“

“I’ll keep my voice down.” Jaskier kneels on the ground, scratching at the cat on the ground. They seem to enjoy the way he scratches under his ear, if the purr rumbling from his chest is any indication. “So who is this? Is this your neighbor’s cat that you have the food bowl for outside?”

“Jaskier-“

“You’re beautiful! (Mrr) Though you shed quite a bit, don’t you?”

“He’s-“

“Oh, a boy! Well he’s very sweet. Aren’t you? (mrrp) what’s his name?” And Jaskier finally shuts up long enough for Lambert to get a word in.

“He’s not my neighbor’s cat.” Jaskier looks up and sees Lambert looking down at him, concerned and quizzical. “I thought you hated cats? And were allergic?”

“What gave you that idea? And if this is your cat, you have never mentioned him. Is he new?”

“What? I talk about Aiden all the time.”

Everything clicks into place for a moment, and Jaskier feels the weight of all the misunderstandings come crashing down.

“Oh my god,” Jaskier mumbles softly.

“You always got weird when I brought him up though, and I thought you not liking cats was why you didn’t want to...” Lambert trails off while Jaskier is still processing.

“You never mentioned he was a cat, Lambert.”

“Yeah I... oh my god.” Jaskier looks up at him and sees his eyes go wide. “You thought I had a boyfriend.”

“Uh-Huh.”

“You don’t hate cats.”

“No.”

“Do you...”

“Of course I fucking do,” Jaskier says, standing quickly. Aiden meows his annoyance at no longer being the center of attention, but Jaskier Can finally touch Lambert without feeling guilty, and he gently touches his hand. Lambert seizes it.

“We wasted so much time,” Lambert whispers. “Because you thought Aiden was a human.”

“And you were dating.”

“But What about when I talk about him shedding?”

“You bitch about Geralt shedding too, I assumed he had long hair.”

“His walks?”

“People go on walks, Lambert, and I of all people understand the importance of a schedule.”

“What about taking him to the vet?”

“I thought he worked there!”

“Holy shit.”

Jaskier lets out a breathless laugh as Aiden winds between his feet. “I think he likes me.”

“He’s not alone,” Lambert whispers, and Jaskier looks into his eyes, which are part shock and part adoration. Jaskier closes the distance between them.

Oooo, this is a good one!! Thank you so much for the prompt, I hope you like this!

-

Jaskier had been impatient the entire trip up the mountain. Geralt suffered his enthusiasm silently, knowing he was just excited to reunite with his brother—he remembered their last encounter all too well, when Geralt had met with Lambert on the path and Jaskier had practically tackled him, had slid easily into Lambert’s arms and embraced him until Lambert had nearly vomited from the affection.

“I see it!” Jaskier shouted beside him, hopping through the snow, running over the thinner patches until he was nearing the gate. Geralt sighed and tugged Roach a little faster up the path— she was getting older, maybe a winter or two left in her.

The doors were still shut when The walls of Kaer Morhen came into view, but movement at the top of the wall told him he’d been spotted by whoever was scouting.

“Eskel!” Jaskier greeted his brother first after the doors opened, forgoing a handshake in favor of a friendly squeeze. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Same to you, lark,” Eskel replied, releasing him after a final pat on the shoulder. “Lambert’s inside already, going stir crazy from missing you.”

“I’ll have to remedy that then, won’t I?” Jaskier practically sprintdd up the stone path towards the keep, while Geralt said hello at a more leisurely pace.

“Hey there, wolf,” Eskel said, tugging Geralt into a hug. Geralt sighed, happy to be reunited.

“It’s good to see you.” Geralt turned his face towards Eskel’s hair. “All in one piece.”

“As always,” Eskel said, squeezing Geralt a final time. “Ready for another winter rod those two being inseparable?”

Geralt was about to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of something landing heavy in the snow near him.

“Don’t Aard me, you bitch!” He looked overmatched and saw Jaskier getting up from the snow, Lambert jogging closer—

“Bring it on!” He shouted, sticking his tongue out at Jaskier just before being hit in the face with a snowball.

“Hey, not around Roach you two, you know she spooks—“ Eskel approached them to try and settle them down, but was hit double by two snowballs. Geralt smirked to himself, watching Jaskier jog to Lambert’s side and kiss him. “Okay, that’s it,” Eskel said. Geralt saw him scooping snow up off the ground, packing it together—

“We should go before we get forced to join in, Roach,” Geralt said to his horse, walking to her other side where he was safe from any stray snowballs.

It was good to be home.

—

The first time Jaskier saw Lambert right when he’d gotten out of the bath, he was pretty sure he had died.

“Hand me my shaving kit,” Lambert said, running a rag through his hair. His long, curly hair. He hadn’t been prepared for the curls. Lambert always had his hair slicked back, out of his face with a product that left it greasy and sticky to the touch. “Jaskier,” Lambert said to get his attention again.

“Y-yeah,” Jaskier said, still looking at the gorgeous locks of ginger. “Are you, by chance, not in a rush?”

Lambert ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes, shrugging. “Sure,” he said. “Contract’s already finished.”

“Fantastic,” Jaskier said, rubbing his hands together. “Can I touch your hair?”

Lambert looked at Jaskier like he’d grown a second head. “What?”

“Lambert, you’ve got lovely hair, and you always keep it so… greasy. Let me get my hands on you.” He added “Please?” when Lambert continued to look shocked.

“Why?” Lambert asked, dragging out the sound. “It’s just hair. Gets in the way.”

“Just-” Jaskier’s voice squeaked several octaves higher, and he cleared his throat to calm it down. “If you ever say that to me again I will slap you.” He reached his hands out. “Now come here and let me touch your fucking hair.”

Lambert still looked doubtful, but he approached, dripping water onto the floor. He patted himself dry as he walked, though it did little to help. “Do what you want,” he sighed, tipping his head forward. Jaskier pushed his hand into it— wiry, weak from washing, though still very soft. It tangled around his fingers, and Jaskier suddenly wished he had something to comb it out with.

“Your hair is in terrible shape,” He said sadly. “It could use a good brushing, and lots of love.”

“Well, someone decided they needed to touch it before I could brush it out. And it’s just hair, not like it needs any special- ow!” Lambert stopped talking when Jaskier smacked the side of his head.

“I am going to make it my personal mission to get you to have a bit of hair care. And the first thing you need to understand is that your hair is a gift, and if you treated it nicely, I bet it would do your looks a lot of favors. Instead of keeping it a greasy disaster, just put it up!”

“Like Geralt?” Lambert scoffed, wincing when Jaskier’s fingers caught on a tangle.

“Yes, because he actually gives a shit about his hair. I cannot believe you’ve been hiding this from me.” Jaskier pushed a finger into the center of a curl, tugging on it and watching it bounce up when he let go. “Leave it down, for tonight,” Jaskier said, pressing his face into it. Lambert started to protest, but quieted when Jaskier continued. “I’ll put oil in it and it’ll keep from tangling.”

“Fine,” Lambert agreed, tilting his head into Jaskier’s touch. “But if it doesn’t work, you’re buying me more product for it.”

Jaskier could have shouted for joy.

He put oil into his hair and brushed it out gently, which alone had Lambert sighing with every touch. His hair was even curlier with the oil, winding around Lambert’s ears and mixing with his beard. Jaskier was pleased when he saw Lambert absently bouncing the ringlets with a hand while they ate.

Of course my dear! Thank you for the ask! I had 16 in my previous ask so I’ll have to pick a different part of “I will Wait” by Mumford and Sons, but I’ll use the same song. Ah! I’ll go with the beginning.

Well I came home like a stone and I fell heavy into your arms

-

“If I must walk one more step, I fear I’ll collapse,” Jaskier said dramatically as he burst into the dining hall. Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt were there, several rounds deep into a game of Gwent.

“Good riddance,” someone muttered. Jaskier contorted his face into mock-offense.

“I may just have to collapse in the middle of your game, if you keep that up.”

Eskel laughed, ever the one with the sense of humor. Although he was probably drunk.

“Can you come back in a few to complain? I’m a couple turns away from taking all of this moron’s coin.” Lambert was the one who spoke, and Jaskier wandered right over and pressed up behind him. He had a good hand, and his field looked solid. Geralt had been known to snatch victories from near defeats, though.

“I imagine that will be the other way around, dear Lambert,” Jaskier muttered. It seemed to be Geralt’s turn, and Geralt looked at Jaskier briefly before back to his hand.

“Really, you think he can come back from this?” Lambert gestured at the table. Jaskier hummed non-commitally. “If he beats me, I will carry you to bed and listen to you whine myself,” He scoffed.

“Well,” Geralt said, cutting in. “You’d better warm up your arms then.” He placed down a card— Commander’s Horn— and stared smugly at Lambert over the table.

“Oh, you-“ Lambert looked frustratedly at his hand, and Geralt’s field— then threw his cards down and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck.”

Jaskier cackled with glee and leaned on Lambert heavily. “Well, a man’s word is his bond,” Jaskier muttered. “What’s this you mentioned about carrying me to bed, now?”

The punch he got was worth it when Lambert scooped him off his feet moments later.

-