#laisai

are you studying cool things?

not at the moment! i’ve had no luck with balancing school and work and my health. 

but someone on the post is studying nursing and they’re currently taking  pathophysiology and i find it fascinating! 

Same actually, I followed you for Tolkien and now I find you're in MXTX too? I was really excited

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “Do allosexual women actually talk with friends explicitly about their...”

depends on the friends and the context, but yes definitely. sometimes it's only with people i trust and have known for ages (i have very close friends i never talk about it with too, it just depends) and sometimes, in the right group, it just happens even if we're not super close and it becomes a random, often hilarious, sometimes powerful point of connection. for sure not universal, for sure contextual, but definitely a thing that i experience. (also when i say 'yes definitely' i didn't mean 'i can conclusively state it's normal for all allosexual women'! just 'yes definitely that's a thing i do.' i also would say that not all the friends i talk explicitly about sex with are allosexual. ideally i try to follow the lead of whoever i'm with in terms of how explicit talk gets so as not to inadvertently make anyone uncomfortable, but i've definitely fucked that up before.)

thebyrchentwigges replied to your post “Do allosexual women actually talk with friends explicitly about their...”

We do? A third of the time it's budget sex therapy/venting, a third of the time it's recommendations (books, toys, fandom hotness), and a third of the time it gets awkward/doesn't take off. As the Sex Positive Friend I may be in line for more of these conversations than others.

Okay, this is interesting to know. Like, the close friend who does sometimes talk about sex to me doesn’t really get explicit and only brings it up as it relates to other topics we were already talking about, but I didn’t know if that was just because it was me? I mean that’s been the case since long before I identified as ace but.

I struggle with knowing who would be receptive to that kind of discussion, mostly because part of my ace-ness is that I feel the intense need to distance myself from sex in other people’s perception? Like, I do pretty much everything in my power to prevent people from seeing me as a sexual being because it makes me so uncomfortable, so the notion of talking to even close friends about actual sex with actual people (vs. like, talking about sexy fic or whatever, which doesn’t bother me a whit) is pretty alien to me.

nicxan replied to your post “Do allosexual women actually talk with friends explicitly about their...”

I'm on the asexual spectrum but I have spoken about my sex life with only my closest friend. Idk how people just do it with anyone. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way it's just ..... how

laisai replied to your post  “Do allosexual women actually talk with friends explicitly about their...”

a lot of chinese americans (like me) don't. it might be a cultural thing, but it's just...only white girls have talked to me about their sex lives. im fine with talking about it, sort of, but im really unused to it so it's uncomfortable to a degree even though i know i'm not ace

I feel these two answers on a visceral level. It’s like, any time I even try to talk about anything VAGUELY sexual that’s not at a great remove from myself, the words literally freeze up in my throat. Like I can’t even talk. It’s not like a trauma response or anything, it doesn’t matter whether I’m trying to talk about good stuff or bad, it’s just so deeply uncomfortable.

Interesting to know that it may be cultural! ETA: For some folks. Obviously I am a white girl and it is not cultural for me, just A Thing I Experience.

roadgoeson replied to your post “Do allosexual women actually talk with friends explicitly about their...”

... I'm having flashbacks to being stuck in rooms full of straight allosexual friends and being unable to politely escape the graphic sex talk. I guess it's probably common enough?                  

I SHIP THE OT3 HARD pls do it

Wait, YOU’RE beleriandings?! (hi I love your fic, I did not know you wrote it ��)

celegorm would probably keep one for fun, and also to annoy maedhros

   This is quiet and heartachingly lovely    

(hope you don’t mind me publishing + some replies because people are asking me about this now :’D)