#laidan

Lucy slowly reached her hands behind her head, shaking her hair out of its ponytail that it resided in for most of the day due to Cheerios. Instantly she felt a relief; she was no longer Lucy the Cheerio, or really Lucy anything. She was just... a shell. An empty shell where the last place she wanted to be was home or anywhere else. She needed to just be for a while, away from everyone and away from expectations. The halls of McKinley high school were long vacated and there wasn't a person in sight as she turned the corner, her feet leading her to the auditorium. She hadn't tried to sing in weeks. She wasn't expecting anything magical and dread filled her stomach as she made her way to the stage. That piano... how many times had she belted out songs in front of that piano? Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away, breathing out to gather herself and then turning back around to face where an audience would be sitting. She opened her mouth, but her throat was dry. She closed her eyes and all she could see was a crystal clear image of Blaine and his piano, the music flowing through him. She gasped, furiously turning away again as the tears came uncontrollably. It had been stupid to even try. She knew this would happen, and her chest was heavy as she crouched down beneath the piano, her back facing the audience. She knew she could get up and leave, but she couldn't get herself to do anything. All she could do was sit.

Aidan should've stopped recording as soon as he saw the tears start to stream down her face, but it was like the filmmaker in him wouldn't let him. He had to keep filming, this was a Lucy he'd never seen before and he was interested in seeing her in a new light. It was when he saw he sit down like she had failed herself when he stopped, it was a bit awkward for him. Aidan never knew what to do when a girl cried and he was constantly surrounded by them, he would usually just hold them but this was Lucy. He was always spying on her so that would definitely lead to an uncomfortable conversation but he couldn't just sneak away. He stepped out of the shadows a bit making himself visible to her, he gave her a light smile before walking a bit closer to the stage but still remaining by the seats. "Hi."

Lucy straightened up the instant she saw Aidan appear out of the shadows. "Aidan!" She yelped, getting up so fast that she hit her head on the side of the piano. She winced, rubbing her head to try and ease the pain before remembering where she was and what just happened. She quickly looked down, wiping at her eyes and pressing the heel of her wrist to her face to cease any new ones. "I was just leaving. I thought I had abandoned some sheet music in here earlier that we need for Glee club but I was clearly wrong. I suspect it's in my bag somewhere. Or Drew's. Or maybe even in the choir room still. Can I help you find something? What are you doing here so late?"

Aidan regretted his decision to not sneak out as soon as she yelped, what was he thinking. He frightened her obviously, and she probably thought he was weirder than usual. What was he doing here? Besides obviously staying late to avoid bullies and then walking home when he thought everyone was gone. She probably asking here in the auditorium though. He figured it was best to be honest. "I-uhm. I saw you come in and I was hoping to catch you singing..." He mumbled while picking up his camera kind of indicating he had been filming her without saying say so. He rocked on his feet thinking unsure of what he should say now.

Lucy blinked slowly, looking at the camera and then down at her hands. "Oh," she whispered. Shame flooded her. Oddly enough, she wasn't mad at all that Aidan had followed her in there. She was sort of flattered, really. Wasn't that was every rising star wanted? Someone who adored their singing so much that they'd sneak in after you? She knew she had certainly wanted that. But now all she felt was an embarrassment in regards to herself. She had let him down, and that made everything more real. "I'm very sorry to disappoint, Aidan." She finished in a whisper.

Aidan bit down on his lip avoiding her eye contact for a second until he heard her say she was sorry to disappoint, he looked up at her and shook his head. "No- no, it wasn't a total waste, I mean I could definitely delete it if you wanted me to. I think it just contributes to the human behind the star," he said talking really fast. Aidan wasn't sure if what he said made any sense but it was always hard to describe what he chose to film and what he chose to take a picture of. It was moments like the one Lucy just had that he found probably one the most amazing genuinely humane moments. Failure. Although he didn't see it as one, it was a just a baby step. She was here wasn't she? She wanted to sing. That was enough to him. "I got something better, do you want to see it?" Aidan asked taking his camera off his neck.

Lucy's lips curved into a soft smile while the rest of her face was ridden with shock. The human behind the star. /Human/. She had stopped feeling human so long ago. She had become adjusted to just saying and doing anything to seem like her old self because it was far easier than showing her pain and having to deal with the backlash. Did Aidan really see something human? Was that a good or bad thing? What if she wasn't a good one anymore? "No, you don't need to delete it, Aidan," she replied softly. "Keep it. I trust you with it." At his next statement, her brows furrowed but her smile showed more amusement than pain. "Oh. Sure, I would love to. If you're really okay with showing me it, that is? An artist's work is very personal. I know."

Aidan nodding as he walks closer to the stage and handing the camera to her, he never really showed people stuff uncut and unedited but he didn't think he could or wanted to do anything to the clip he just recorded. It was raw and imperfectly perfect. "Just click that button," he said taking a step back. "I know it probably won't seem like much to people but- I think it's okay that you couldn't sing right now. If you wanted to talk about why your blocked? I've been told I'm a good listener?" Aidan asked taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt before tossing them back on.

Lucy walked down quickly to meet the younger boy halfway. Her posture straightened at his suggestion. Talking about it. Talking about it would mean admitting that there's a problem, that something's wrong. Lucy couldn't do that. If she even started, she'd never be able to get back to who she was. And for right now, that was the person she needed to be, for herself and for her friends and family. "Thank you," she responded. "I'll keep that in mind. It's this button, right?"

Aidan nodded, talking was never really his strong suit. His tongue and brain always seemed to be in an argument but listening, man was he good at doing that. That's why he liked being behind a camera so much, he'd just observe and listened. He wished he could record Lucy seeing the video, but his only camera could be his at the moment.

Lucy smoothed her hair over her shoulder as she prepared herself for whatever she was about to watch. It could be anything. It could be something like a cat taking a bath for all the tiny dark haired girl knew. But knowing Aidan and the faith she had in his work, whatever it was bound to be incredible. He was like her own personal Mark Cohen. She gestured for him to take a seat down with her on the edge of the stage so they could get more comfortable as the clip started to play.

Aidan walked up to the stage rather then trying to embarrassingly prop himself up, he sat down next to her swung his legs at the edge of the stage. He ran a hand through his hair while he waited for her to watch.

Lucy At first the footage was dark, as if adjusting to the surroundings. And then before long she saw a figure on a stage. She knew what she was about to watch. She almost felt like scoffing at herself. Why did she think it would be anything different? She almost felt like asking him to stop it. She didn't want to see this, this sad excuse for what she had let herself become. But Lucy stayed silent and the clip played on. Her stomach clenched as the girl--her--started crying and her chest froze as she watched herself sit down, so small and weak and defeated. The clip stopped and Lucy stared, blankly, at the screen.

Aidan watched her the whole time, watched her face as she gave her away her emotions. She looked disappointed, he didn't know if it was in herself or of him. When it was over and she just turned blank he slowly took the camera from her hands and placed it around his neck once again. "Are you okay?"

Lucy nodded, face flushing as she realized she hadn't done well enough to conceal herself. "Just... hard, I suppose. I don't really like crying. Or seeming that small." She breathed out. "You're really talented, Aidan." After a pause, she continued, "Can I ask you something?"

Aidan smiled lightly down at the ground, he didn't really know how to respond to compliments. He didn't get them all that much. "Thank you," he said and then looked back up at her face. "Yeah, sure. Anything- I mean I already invade your personal space loads"

Lucy smiled. "Lucky for you, that's where I was headed. Why me? There's plenty of more interesting people around here. I'm not all that interesting. Not lately."

Aidan took a deep breath, he wasn't really sure how to answer this without making seem like he was in love with her. He wasn't, he knew he wasn't but anyone would mistake the look in his eye when he stares at her as something else. "Well... you're different," he said trying to make sure he worded this right. "I mean there are a billion people with pretty faces, my best friend included but with you- I don't know I just see more. You're talented but it's not like the rest of the people here where you have to flaunt it. You just be and then I see moments like this and- I'm amazed. You're not this perfect person on a pedestal, you're you. I think you're pretty damn cool because I don't think you fit anywhere. You can't be categorized."

Lucy nodded, as if considering all that he had said. A lot of her life was striving to belong somewhere and always feeling restless when she didn't. So often she had a terrible time trying to relate to people and even among friends felt like an outsider. It was hard to explain and she was positive it'd probably never make sense to anyone. It didn't even make sense to her. That problem had always been there, only it was more intense since July when Blaine had passed. Only, for the first time since then, she felt more proud of it--and, at the same time, terribly, terribly lonely. "You're really brave to admit all that."

Aidan smiled softly at her before focusing on the ground again. He didn't know what else to say, he felt a little embarrassed from saying all that. "Uhm- do you want me to walk your car? Or do you want a minute alone?"

Lucy shook her head. "No," she replied slowly. "I... don't really do a lot of driving these days. My bike's out front. I normally walk. But you can walk me out, if you want? Or I can walk you out."

Aidan did a mental face palm, of course she didn't drive much. "Sorry- sorry, yeah I'll walk you to your bike," he said started to stand up he dusted of his jeans.