★ soft!lover!wanderer x shy!reader requested by @dobadoo
★ I don't actually remember the specific request that was sent in, but the reader was supposed to be more innocent and naive with scaramouche being more cold and distant, so hopefully I got that right lmaoo enjoy!
★ disclaimer: you and wanderer are in an established relationship and there's definitely a lot of physical touch, Wanderer's also more of a soft yandere here.
A gift from the heavens, an angel amidst lowlives, perhaps even a miracle, was his precious flower. He couldn’t help but admire the way rays of morning sunlight danced over the slopes and curves of your body as you slept. If only his creator had installed a lens inside his eyes that’d allow him to photograph this moment, bury it somewhere deep inside him beside the remnants of his past selves. And to think other people would’ve been able to see you like this had he not sunk his claws into your heart first and foremost…no, no that wouldn’t do.
Luckily, you stirred before your lover could conjure yet another fictional scenario to get angry over. “Go back to sleep, flower.” Wanderer murmured, the tips of his ball-jointed fingers gliding over the line of your brows to brush away any sleep-tousled hairs from your bleary eyes. You looked so lovely like this, just barely rousing from sleep to the sight of him sitting up in bed with those piercing eyes staring down at you- calculating, almost cold had it not been for the way your warmth melted the ice around his heart.
“What time is it?” You mumbled, rolling onto your side and then slumping forward with a groan. His hand naturally found its way to your back, briefly tracing the line of your spine up to your nape- bare skin compared to where his electro sigil remained etched into his skin as a permanent reminder of what was meant to be his legacy. “Hey, you’re-...you’re staring, stop that…” He could only smirk, feeling the warmth of your skin nearly double as blood rushed to your face in embarrassment under his wordless stare.
“It’s early. And it’s not like you’re stopping me, quit your whining.” Cold fingers trace around your neck when he tilted his head to find your eyes with his own, pressing a tender kiss to your temple. A sweet gesture, though like everything he did, calculated. Each pass of his hands on your skin, each smile you gifted him, he absorbed your light like darkness. Your stars to be lost in his skies. You’d never have to worry, of course, not when he took such good care of you. From the first day you stumbled into him, in disarray and a flurry of apologies over tripping into him or something- he couldn’t quite remember what you said, not when he was so entranced by how alive you were. His personal sunshine for skin damned to run cold.
Similarly, it was his detached demeanor that drew you closer to the puppet. Like smoldering embers, a flame dormant- just waiting for a spark to render it alive again. “You look like a mess.” He snorted, tugging at the wrinkled fabric of your sleepwear. In retort, a huff left your lips as you grabbed his shirt and tugged him backwards- an uncharacteristically bold move from his sweetheart of a lover.
“And you look pristine. Something you wanna tell me, mister?” Came your playful chiding, knowing that he rarely slept. Sleep to you was necessary- to him, it was an excuse to lay with you.
“Careful,” Wanderer scoffed, his whole hand laid over your giggling face and pushing you back onto the bed. “You’ve gotten a bit too cheeky as of late.” He griped, scowling with his arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t tell me I’m already influencing you?”
When you only bashfully smiled and shrugged where you lay, the blankets enshrouded about your bodies like clouds, the frown lines about his lips softened. With an exaggerated sigh, the former harbinger lay beside you and dragged you by the head to lay on his shoulder. “Fine. We’ll rest an hour more, but that’s it.” He begrudgingly speaks, as if it wasn’t his idea.
And as you slowly fall back asleep, overheating the bedsheets with your warmth while his cold body cools you back down, he stares up at the ceiling with a lazy smirk. All this song and dance to keep you under his control when it was plainly obvious that it was you who had the lone wanderer wrapped around your pretty little finger.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Someone as intelligent, powerful, and driven as you deserves someone who can match that energy while also giving you the space you need to thrive.
Like sunlight to a flower,
𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵…
...𝗔𝗸𝗮𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗞𝗲𝗶𝗷𝗶 !
Akaashi's the quiet and attentive sort of lover. He's used to being the mom friend, always keeping an eye out for trouble- which is why you're such a nice change of pace. Someone like you, who knows exactly what she's doing and can handle herself with pride but also ramble herself silly at times? He was smitten from the get-go! It was awkward at first with both of you being so silent, but you'd slowly warm up to each other after muttering several out-of-pocket jokes just to watch the other try and hold back a laugh. Not to mention your love languages mesh perfectly, with the way he's always looking out for you and doing little things to make your life easier as your kind words ease his anxious mind.
Though, with both of you being more listeners than talkers, silence often replaces conversation. He doesn't mind, since he enjoys just being close to loved ones, but he can get worried that you feel left out or bored. And so, he'd try to lure words out of you by baiting you with topics you're passionate about- anything to see the way your eyes lit up. And naturally, it goes both ways. Ask him about the current shounen he's editing and watch the way he either gripes about the corny plot, or smiles over the scenes that reminded him of you two.
Back to the love languages, have I mentioned how attentive he is?? This man notices everything. From across a room, he'll catch the annoyed glimmer in your eyes when a near-stranger gets too touchy with you, or the way you grow tense and uncomfortably silent when something goes wrong. He's there in every way he can be- but he also does his best to give you space. While Akaashi loves helping, he doesn't love the spotlight- and so he'll try to ease your problems in a way that lets you resolve them. Long story short, the two of you are similar enough to be more than compatible, but different enough to keep each other on your toes.
And your appearance. God help him. As a man who also usually dresses in monochromatic colors, he takes a bit of pride in accidentally matching with you on most occasions. But from there, the way your long hair frames your face like a work of art? How your eyeliner highlights your eyes in a dramatic and fierce sort of way that has his heart fluttering? He can't help but stare at times, the lover.
❝ You've been at this for hours, you know. While I admire your determination, this puzzle will still be here after dinner. Yes, I know you're almost finished, but I made your favorite- ah ah, don't argue. I wanted to. We've both been working so hard lately, I figure we deserve a treat. Come on, up you go- we can watch that movie you've been meaning to show me as well. ❞
Finally got this account up and running, so let's get things going! For this event, tell me about yourself and I'll match you up with a character from Genshin, JJK, Haikyuu, Demon Slayer, or HSR that I can picture you with alongside some headcanons. :D
𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬
★ I'll be doing appearance, personality, or both matchups. If you want an appearance matchup, send me an ask or a DM with a picture of yourself (I won't post the picture unless you want me to) If you want a personality matchup, send me an ask or DM with a description of yourself. If you want both, send both a description and a picture!
★ If you want, specify what gender(s) you prefer for a partner. This way I can choose a character that you're comfortable with. :D
★ You can provide as much or as little information you want! The more details you give me, the more detailed and accurate your matchup will be.
★ You need to send the ask either off anon, or through dm's. I'll be tagging you for your matchup, so I need your @ in order to tag you. :D
IMPORTANT-- My old account is @kaeyazuha and so things like my prompts list and whatnot will lead to that blog. Let me know if anything doesn't work, thank you!
★ last written update: 11/12/24
★ current event: " picture you "
★ recent work: " wrapped around your finger " ft. wanderer
★ requests are open!
★ please read my rules before requesting!
Hello hello! I’m Ky, it’s a pleasure to meet you! I'm a young adult writing sfw content for all audiences. This blog is dedicated to comfort and fluff that can feature darker topics anywhere from depression to explicit death. Your comfort comes first, but make sure to respect my boundaries as well. :D
My messages are also always open for you. I’m here for you, and I’m proud of you. You’re doing amazing things out there no matter how unproductive or tired you’ve been, you’re doing good simply by existing. Remember to take a moment to breathe and relax, you deserve it. <3
𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀 - 𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴
★ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛꜱ
★ ᴏʟᴅ ɢᴇɴꜱʜɪɴ ɪᴍᴘᴀᴄᴛ ᴍ.ʟɪꜱᴛ (new version coming soon!)
𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀 - 𝗕𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰𝘀
★ ʀᴜʟᴇꜱ - ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ - ᴅɴɪ/ʙʏꜰ
★ ᴡɪᴘ'ꜱ/ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛᴇᴅ ʀᴇqᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ
★ ᴀɴᴏɴꜱ (coming soon, hopefully!!)
❝ 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 ❞
❝ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 ❞
𝙏𝙖𝙜 𝙀𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨
★ #kywrites
I use this tag on all my works. You can use this to find anything I wrote. :D
★ #𝗸𝘆𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹
All posts that aren't writing!
★ #kyrecs
All fics, creators, fandoms, etc that I recommend!
★ #kywillwrite
I'll use this usually on rambles for future ideas or things I plan to write.
★ #kyplaysgenshin
Gameplay, lore rambles, wishing, rants, any and everything from my GI escapades.
synopsis: you and aeri were inseparable while you were growing up. Is that connection still there?
word count: 15k (jeeez) (it could've been 3 parts but I love you all so much so here you are)
cw: angst, cussing, drinking, f reader, childhood best friends to...(?) idk if there's any i missed please lmk!
notes! So sorry if its a confusing read with the timelines and such. the italic paragraphs are flashbacks/memories! for clarification Aeri and reader are ages 12, 22, and then 30 in this. It's inspired by the movie Past Lives (one of my fav movies, I recommend it!) barely proofread again, I also tried to add extra space in between different scenes, I hope it flows okay!
This is my first angsty fic ever but I had a lot of fun writing it! I really hope you enjoy it and if you'd like to, lmk your thoughts!!
as always dms and asks are always open!
xoxo love youuu (: <3
20 years ago in Southern California, SM Elementary School
Ever since you can remember, Aeri Uchinaga has been a constant presence in your life. You first met in preschool, where she quickly took a liking to you for reasons you couldn't quite understand. As a ‘slow-to-warm-up’ child, you were perfectly fine with doing quiet activities on your own while your classmates ran around, chatting amongst themselves. But Aeri must have seen you as a challenge or a game, maybe? She was determined to crack the ice and see what lay beneath your quiet exterior. She would always join you at the drawing table and start rambling about a variety of things that crossed her mind or even go as far as sharing her stuffed animals with you when she saw you playing ‘family’ alone with your own.
And before you knew it, she had you hooked. Aeri was more outspoken than you at the time, and she often took the reins in your friendship, but you were (more than) happy to follow her lead. You quickly learned that she had a habit of charging in head first, and it became your unspoken mission to keep her from getting into too much trouble.
You promised yourself that you'd always be there supporting her from behind.
You dribbled the soccer ball skillfully toward the goal, weaving through defenders with ease. Just as you were about to score, a loud yelp from the basketball court made you stop dead in your tracks. Your hesitation cost you as a player from the opposing team slid in, tackling you. Pain shot through your leg as your planted foot twisted in a way that it should NOT twist.
You got up from the ground and ignored the pain as you waved to a classmate on the sideline to take your place on the field. You limped as quickly as you could toward the court from the field, fighting back tears. The adrenaline kept you moving.
Eventually you made it to the basketball court where Aeri was.
“Are you okay?” you asked as you reached a hurt Aeri, who was hissing slightly at the sight of her skinned knee. Almost every ounce of pain washed away when you saw her.
She looked up, surprised, as your shadow blocked the sun. To her, you probably looked like an angel.
“Y/n,” she sniffled, “Where did you come from?”
“I was just playing soccer,” you replied, kneeling in front of her and offering your back. “Here, hop on. Let’s get you to the nurse.”
“Mm~ okay,” Aeri shyly mumbled as she climbed onto your back, resting her chin in the crook of your neck as you hobbled toward the infirmary.
“How did you know I was hurt?” she inquired softly.
“I dunno, my Aeri instincts must've kicked in... But you do have a pretty distinctive scream that I could hear all the way from the soccer field” You chuckled
“Ah~! What!? That’s so embarrassing!” She buried her face into your neck. “Why did you come over? You said you were playing soccer?”
“Well yeah I was, but remember when we were five and had our first sleepover?” you asked, chuckling. “Ya know, the one where you couldn’t stop crying because you missed your parents, especially your mom.”
“Hey! Why bring that up now?” she groaned, playfully hitting your back with her fists. “It wasn’t my choice! My parents were busy with work, okay!”
“Nono~ we made a pinky promise, remember? I told you, ‘I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.’ And I vaguely remember claiming I’d be your prince or somethin' like that.. I’m just keeping my word.” You smiled at the memory.
“That was like seven years ago…I can't believe you even remember that” she sighed contentedly. “Well, thank you, my prince.” she let out a teasing chuckle
“Of course, Lady Aeri,” you replied in a playful, formal tone, adjusting her higher on your back with a little hop.
There was a small break of silence before Aeri took notice of the cadence of your steps.
“...Wait, are you limping?” Her tone suddenly turned serious, like a mother about to scold her child.
“Uh…” You hesitated, “No…?” you chuckled nervously hoping she'd drop the topic (she didn't).
She peeked over your shoulder and saw your left ankle, red and beginning to swell.
“Ah~! What happened!? Let me down, I can walk! You idiot!” she exclaimed, trying to wriggle off your back.
“No way! We’re almost there anyways, and all this wiggling isn’t helping the pain either!” you bickered with the girl on your back before finally reaching the school entrance.
After school, your mom tended to your hurt ankle. It wasn’t anything serious, just a mild sprain. You worked silently on your assignment before she spoke up.
“Y/n, honey~” your mom cooed before sitting down next to you at the kitchen table while you were doing homework. “What do you think about Aeri? Do you like her?”
“Hmm,” You hummed while placing your pencil down as memories of her flooded your mind.
One specific memory came to the forefront of your mind,
You and Aeri were laying in the lush grass together with your heads touching and holding hands.
“Aeri, look!” You pointed to the sky “I see a shark.. Or maybe a really big tuna?” a playful giggle escaped your lips
“Mhm~!” she agreed, “Look over there! Doesn’t that look like Haku from Spirited Away?” Aeri’s eyes widened in excitement as her favorite character appeared in the sky, her finger excitedly pointing
“Yeah! I think it does!” You stole a glance of her.
Her eyes were glued to the blue sky adorned with fluffy white clouds that looked like they felt like cotton candy. The sun reflected against her dark brown hair and made it look like a beautiful dark ocean rippling in the wind
It was a cool summer day. A gentle breeze wafted her scent of strawberry shampoo and a light rose scent from her deodorant. The sky stretched over both of you like a blue canvas with puffy cotton balls. The warmth of the sunshine wrapped the two of you into an embrace only you both could feel.
You stared at her with so much… happiness? While she pointed out various shapes, her face lit up more and more each time she spotted one
“What is this feeling?” You thought “It feels like i’m going down a steep slope of a rollercoaster when I’m around her”
“Hm~ Y/n? Is there something on my face? Did you hear me?” She briefly stopped her tangent when she felt a soft gaze.
“Oh~! No sorry,” You giggled
“I- just” you began barely above a whisper
“Wow, look!” Aeri unknowingly cut you off “Those ones look like two hearts about to mash together” she exclaimed giddily
Your gaze went back to the clouds and you paused for a few seconds causing Aeri to look at you
“Were you gonna say something?” She mumbled and you met her eyes
“I’m just.. Really happy right now!” you said, unable to verbalize the feelings you were having.
“I like her” you replied to your mom
“Ohh~”She nodded in response before genuinely inquiring “Why?”
“Well… She said I’m like her prince” she responded to her mother so nonchalantly and innocently
“Her prince?”
“Mhm, I think i’ll marry her one day” You smiled before picking up your pencil again-- completely unphased.
“Mm~ I see, I see. Well Y/n, does she want to marry you, too?”
“I don't know if she likes me too, but if she does I know she'll say when we’re ready!” She smiled brightly at her mom
“Ah okay~ When did you grow up my sweet daughter?” Your mom lightly pinched your cheek which caused you to giggle. “Well, I was on the phone with her mom earlier... Do you want to go on a date with her?"
Of course you excitedly nodded your head in agreement
You and Aeri stepped into the park, nature wrapped around you two like a comforting hug. The trees swayed gently in the breeze, their leaves left a playful pattern of light and shadows on the ground below. While birds chirped happily overhead, their songs blending with the soft rustle of leaves, creating a soothing melody that seemed to dance through the air. Both of your mom’s made their way to a nearby spot to watch you both
“Aeri! Let’s go” You said as you grabbed her free hand
“Oh~ Ma, can you hold these?” Aeri swiftly passed the small bouquet of flowers you had bought her to her mother before being whisked away by your eager pull
“Oh!” was all Mrs.Uchinaga could get out before the two of you ran off exploring the park. She couldn’t contain her laughter and began to take a digital camera out of her purse.
“They look good together, so happy huh?” Your mom glanced at Mrs.Uchinaga as she was snapping a picture of the two of you running hand in hand in the luscious green field.
“Yeah~ Aeri talks about Y/n a lot. She says she wants to marry her one day” Her mom let out an astonished laugh “When did our girls grow up?
“That’s exactly what Y/n said! “ She laughed, “We can’t be too surprised right?
"Ah~ I guess not." Aeri's mom began, "Remember that time we kept Y/n overnight once and Aeri was crying uncontrollably and then suddenly stopped? My god, it was so scary! I thought something had happened to her but when I checked the baby monitor, Y/n snuck out of her own crib and into Aeri’s! And then they fell asleep like that!” She laughed with a tinge of nostalgic sadness
“Ahh~ They were about two and a half years old huh? Oh~! Remember that time I told you when I put them in charge of her brother while I was making them lunch and when I walked back into the living room and found all of them asleep on the couch with Kosei in between them! It was so cute~!” Your mom smiled brightly “I have the photo somewhere still!”
Both you parents sighed contentedly, reminiscing on you two. After a bit of comfortable silence, you mom spoke up
“My Y/n cares about Aeri a lot. I can see she does too, it puts my heart at ease to know my daughter has someone who cares so deeply about her.” Your mom’s eyes began to get a bit watery
Mrs. Uchinaga placed her hand reassuringly over hers, a warm smile gracing her lips. "She's a smart girl—you shouldn’t worry too much. I'm forever grateful she's been in my Aeri's life. Look at them," she pointed affectionately at the two of you, nestled under the low-hanging branches of the weeping willow tree.
"Aeri! This is where we can take our shoes off," you exclaimed, gently parting the "curtain" of leaves as if entering a secret world.
Your imagination ran wild, the simple weeping willow tree transformed into a spacious apartment in a bustling city.
"And here is where our dining room is," Aeri chimed in, moving to the large stones and pretending they were seats. "Here, sit. Let me get you a coffee, honey," she playfully immersed herself in the game of house.
Aeri returned with a hollowed out rock with a stick in it, “Here’s your coffee!”
You pretend slurped through the stick straw, “This is soo~ delicious” and you fake slurped more causing both of you to giggle
“Hey, Aeri” you placed the rock coffee cup down and Aeri joined you at the “dining table”
“Where do you wanna live when you grow up?” you met her gaze
“Mmm, definitely a city. I want my fashion business to be very popular!” She flashed a cheerful thumbs up “What about you?”
“Mm..” You looked down, shyly contemplating
“Are you getting shy?!” She gently nudged your shoulder teasing you
“Nono~!” You waved your hands in defense while a smile appeared on your face “Hm.. I guess wherever you go?”
While you and Aeri played house, imagining your future together, your parents sat nearby on the park bench in comfortable silence, smiling as they watched the two of you. A gentle breeze drifted through, rustling the leaves and carrying the scent of blooming flowers through the air, adding to the peaceful moment.
“We’re moving soon,” Aeri’s mom finally said, breaking the quiet. Which explained why she asked to take them on a 'date'
Your mom didn’t respond right away, her gaze still on you and Aeri. After a few more beats, she spoke, doing her best to mask her emotions. “Oh… where?”
“South Korea,” Aeri’s mom replied softly.
Your mom paused, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. “Why leave everything behind?”
“There are better opportunities ahead than the ones we’ll leave behind,” Aeri’s mom answered with a quiet sigh, as if trying to convince herself as much as anyone else.
Later, on the car ride home, you and Aeri had both fallen asleep in the backseat, your hands still clasped together, oblivious to the change that was coming. Your mom glanced back at the two of you and with a bittersweet smile, she snapped a quick photo.
Neither of you knew how much your lives would change in the next few weeks.
You sat at your desk, your gaze unfocused as you stared blankly ahead, lost in a haze of thoughts that swirled around you like fog. Aeri’s voice cut through the noise, her laughter ringing out as she animatedly chatted with her friends nearby. Her vibrant energy filled the room, lighting up the space, yet somehow, it made the gap between you two feel even wider. You were in the same room, but it felt like you were worlds apart—both of you in your own little world.
"You're leaving?" one of her friends exclaimed, disbelief in her voice.
"Yeah!" Aeri replied, her excitement unmistakable.
"Never coming back?" another girl pressed, curiosity laced her voice.
"I don’t think so!" Aeri laughed, her tone light, almost carefree.
"What?! Why not!?" the girl pushed further, as if she couldn’t fathom the idea.
"Well.. I could never become a fashion designer here!" Aeri giggled, like her answer was obvious… like she wasn’t about to leave behind everything you had known together.
After school, you found yourself walking past Aeri as she waved her friends goodbye. Her cheerful farewell echoed behind you as you caught a glimpse of her. Her smile was as bright as ever, but for the first time, it felt distant—like it no longer belonged to you.
"Oh, bye!" she called out to her friends, her voice cheerful before turning her attention to you.
"Wait up!" she hurried to catch up with your steps.
You slowed down slightly, but something in you hesitated.
"Oh, sorry," you murmured.
She quickly caught up and the two of you began the familiar walk home, the silence between you felt heavier than ever. Aeri seemed comfortable, at ease with the quiet, but for you, the weight in your chest grew with every step. Even though she was right beside you, it felt like she was already slipping away—like an invisible wall was growing between you, expanding with each moment.
It was disorienting, jarring even, to think that after today, she wouldn’t be walking next to you every day like she had since kindergarten. Each footstep echoed what was coming, and despite the comfort of routine, the reality of her departure pressed down on you, suffocating the words you wanted to say but couldn’t find.
The world around continued its hustle and bustle, completely indifferent to the storm brewing in your heart. Cars rushed by, bikes whizzed past, and people hurried along the sidewalk, insensitive to the internal chaos you were grappling with.
Every emotion flooded through you, leaving you drowning in a mix of sadness and anger. Each step felt trudging through quicksand as if your feet had been stuck in concrete. Your body was subconsciously pulling you away from your house to prolong your inevitable separation– like a dog who doesn’t want their walk to be over yet.
As you reached the fork in the road that diverged toward your respective houses, a heavy cloud hung above your head, thick with everything you wanted to say.
"Bye, n/n," Aeri's voice carried a tinge of melancholy as she began to walk away, her figure receding into the distance.
You paused, unable to tear your gaze away from her retreating form.
Every memory you’ve shared with her played in your head like a movie montage.
“C’mon Aeri, don’t be scared! I’m right here with you!” You aggressively whispered while carrying a bag of snacks and a blanket, trying to convince Aeri onto the roof of your house
“What if we get in trouble? What if we get locked out and we’re stuck here forever!” Aeri said to you from inside through the opened window
“My parents know I do this, it’s a flat surface so you have to be a real dummy to slip off! And don’t worry, it only locks from the inside and if you’re scared you can just hold onto me!” You reached out your hand to Aeri
She couldn't help but smile, your own reassuring grin reflecting back at her. She warmly accepted your hand, her breath hitched when your hands made contact.
“O-oh thanks, let’s place the blanket down!” Aeri was glad it was dark because she was sure her face was the same shade as a tomato!
"Not too shabby, huh?" You chuckled lightly, settling onto the soft surface and patting the spot beside you, inviting her to join you.
It was a warm summer night. A gentle breeze wafted your scent of shampoo and a cologne-y scent from your deodorant. The sky stretched over both of you like a dark blue canvas with twinkling stars. The warmth of the evening wrapped the two of you into an embrace only you both could feel.
You felt her staring at you while you pointed out various constellations, your face lit up more and more each time you spotted one
“Hm, Aeri? Did you hear me?” You briefly stopped your tangent when you felt a soft gaze on you
“Oh~! No sorry,” Aeri giggled “What did you say?”
You scooted closer so your head was touching hers, “See those stars over there? It’s kinda like a weird looking 7?” You extended your arm while pointing, trying your best to point out three out of the millions of stars in the sky
“Hm.. oh! Yes!”
“That’s me! And your birthday is October 30 making you a Scorpio! and hmm” You began to move your pointer finger to search in the sky
“Ah! There! You see that pattern that kind of looks like a snake with claws?”
“Yeah~ I actually do!” Aeri giggled as her imagination took over
“Well, Aeri if you ever feel sad or something and I’m not with you for some reason ” You chuckled sweetly. “I just want you to know that we’re always together in the sky!” You both turned to meet each other’s gaze at the same time
“Well I don’t think we’ll ever get separated, I want to be with you forever!” She innocently beamed which caused you both to giggle
“Me too Aeri!”
After a few hesitant moments, you found your voice, though it felt as if your heart might stop with the effort.
“Aeri,” you called out softly, the word heavy with all the feelings you had kept buried for so long.
“Mm?” She turned to face you, her expression softening when her eyes met yours, and the cheerful energy from earlier was nowhere to be found.
“I.. I like you,” you said, your voice trembling slightly, but you held her gaze, resisting the urge to look away. You felt as though you might crumble, but you forced yourself to keep going. “I’m glad we spent our childhood.. together.”
Her smile faltered, shifting into something sadder, something that you couldn't understand. She didn’t respond immediately, as if the words you’d just said had stolen her breath, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. She was at a loss for words and the silence stretched endlessly between you.
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying desperately to maintain your composure. “Bye… Aeri,” you added softly, your voice cracking ever so slightly as you turned away towards your house, trying to put on a brave face.
You couldn’t bear to see the sadness in her eyes any longer. Tears threatened to spill, but you fought them back, willing yourself to hold on just a little longer.
“Bye..” she faintly whispered out
The moment you started walking toward your house, your chest tightened. Tears streamed down your face as the weight of the world as you knew it came crashing down.
What you'll never know and what you couldn’t see, was that Aeri began crying too.
About 10 years later, you sat at your desk in your cozy apartment room at UCLA, the late afternoon sun casting soft rays across the scattered textbooks and notes. With a sigh, you pushed some papers aside to rest your elbow on the desk, propping your chin on your hand.
“How the actual fuck do I even solve this?” you muttered to yourself, staring at the confusing statistics problem on your laptop. After a moment of frustration, you searched for a tutorial on YouTube, hoping for a miracle.
As you scrolled through the list of videos, you could hear your roommate Yunjin bustling around in the kitchen.
“Jennie-poo~!” you called out, leaning back in your chair. “Can you come here?”
A few seconds later, you heard your door creak open. "Huh?" came Yunjin's voice, her (dyed) red hair poking around the doorframe as she stepped inside.
“Do you have any idea how to solve this?” you asked, switching your browser back to the page filled with complex formulas. You pointed at the screen. “I seriously have no clue what they’re even fucking asking”
Yunjin leaned down, squinting at the problem for a moment before laughing. “Yeah, I’m gonna be honest with you—zero clue. You’re so fucked,” she said, still giggling.
Yunjin, aka Jennifer, was from upstate New York, and the two of you had been roommates for four years. It felt like fate sometimes—being assigned to live together your freshman year was totally random, but she was practically you in a different form.
“You’re absolutely no help,” you groaned, laughing a little despite yourself as you buried your face in your hands.
“You’re so welcome,” she said, patting your head playfully. “I’m gonna make some jjajangmyeon, do you want any?”
“Not right now. Maybe save some for me later? I gotta finish this shit” you replied, sitting back up and stretching.
“Yeah, of course. Good luck!” Yunjin said with a wink as she left your room.
You sighed deeply as you turned back to your YouTube tab, clicking on a video tutorial. As fucking expected, an ad began to play—one of those painfully long ones you couldn’t skip.
“Do you want to be a model? Do you think you have what it takes?”
The words faded into the background as your mind started to wander, pulled back by an unexpected memory.
Aeri.
It had been so long since you’d allowed yourself to think about her. Years, even. But something about the mention of fashion, pulled you back into the past. The past where she lived, where her dreams had once shone so brightly.
Aeri had always talked about becoming a fashion designer—about where she'd live and make a name for herself. You could still picture her so clearly, sitting beside you, messily sketching her ideas in her notebooks. Dresses, bags, runway looks… She used to tell you all about it, her eyes lighting up with excitement.
“I could never become a designer here,” she’d said once, laughing. She was always so sure of her path. Always ready to go after her dreams, no matter the cost.
She may have been right
Suddenly, the thought of her became overwhelming. You couldn’t help but wonder what had become of that dream. Did she make it? Was she in South Korea, living the life she’d always wanted? Or had things turned out differently?
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as your mind drifted back to the memory of her laughter and the way she’d talked about her plans with ABSOLUTE certainty.
Without thinking, you opened a new tab. You hesitated for a moment, a tightness in your chest returning.
A memory flashed into your mind to when you were having a sleepover with her
“Y/n…” Aeri’s voice came softly from the left side of your bed, sadness creeping into her usual playful tone.
“Mm? What’s wrong?” you asked, glancing over at her.
“I wish you wanted to be a model,” she pouted. “Then you could try on the clothes I design.”
You laughed softly. “I mean, I still could... Why are you thinking about that now?”
“Well, obviously I want to be a designer! SO of course I want you to be the first person to wear the clothes I make,” she beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
The video kept playing and the math tutorial began playing.
Why the hell am I thinking about that now? It’s been like 10 years?
Aeri Uchinaga…
You leaned back in your chair and positioned your head towards the ceiling
What are you up to…
With a sigh, you slingshotted forward and opened Facebook and began to search.
After an hour of searching, you finally found a lead—her father’s company page. It was a bit tedious to find her or her family, considering they lived in a completely different country.
“Hi, I’m looking for my childhood best friend, Aeri Uchinaga . Please let me know how I can contact her.”
And with that, you posted the message and, for the first time in hours, tried to return to your homework.
A few weeks later, on the complete opposite side of the world at 5:30 PM in Seoul...
Aeri sat in her dorm, the warm afternoon sunlight streaming through the window as she lounged on her bed, phone pressed to her ear, laptop resting in her lap.
“Ne~ umma, remember Xinyi? She plays basketball in college now!” Aeri said with a smile, scrolling through Facebook while chatting with her mother.
“Wow~! I’m not surprised,” Mrs. Uchinaga replied with a chuckle on the other end. “She was always knocking on our door, asking you to play.”
Aeri laughed lightly. “Yeah, even though I was pretty bad. She tried so hard to teach me, but I was just ass”
“It’s okay, darling. Sports weren’t really your thing,” her mother comforted warmly.
Aeri absentmindedly scrolled through her feed, clicking on old profiles and updates from people she hadn’t thought about in years.
“Who else should we look up?” She asked her mom.
Aeri paused, a small smile creeping onto her lips. “Who’s the one I had a huge crush on?”
“Y/n L/n” they both said at the same time, sharing a laugh.
Aeri’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, and she began typing your name, curiosity piqued as she searched for her old crush. As she clicked through posts, she suddenly froze.
“Umma! This is crazy!” Aeri exclaimed, her voice full of shock. “She posted on dad’s Facebook page a few weeks ago looking for me!”
“Oh wow really? Well~ I’m not too surprised, Aeri. She really liked you!” her mom replied, her voice filled with warmth.
“I’m looking for my childhood best friend, Aeri Uchinaga ...” Aeri read aloud to her mom as her eyes scanned the message.
Aeri’s heart raced as she scrolled through your profile. Even though your hair was longer and your features were more defined, the essence of you—the same joyful glint in your eyes—hadn’t changed at all. It was as if time hadn’t erased any part of the person she remembered so vividly.
“Umma, I’ll call you back,” Aeri said quickly, cutting her mom off as she reassured her with a chuckle, “Yes! I promise I’m eating well!”
She ended the call with a smile, but her pulse quickened as she stared at the screen. Her eyes scanned the message again and again, as if reading your name over and over would somehow make this more real.
“Ahh~” Aeri inhaled deeply, her fingers trembling slightly as she sent you a friend request and began typing a message to you.
“Y/n! It’s Aeri, you remember me?”
It was 1:30 AM in your on-campus apartment in LA when your phone buzzed, receiving the new message.
“Fuck her! She doesn’t deserve you! You’re like… sooo out of her league,” Yuna mumbled to your other friend, Ryujin, as she poured another shot for her.
“Right?” Ryujin sighed before pausing to take the shot. “I just don’t know why I miss her… so much,” she grimaced as the alcohol hit the back of her throat.
“Ryu, you should have some water,” you slurred, hiccuping as you passed her your water bottle.
“Y/nn~ how about you drink some water,” your roommate Yunjin chimed in, giggling as she slumped over on the couch.
The four of you sat in the living room, post-gaming the bar, waiting for your DoorDash to arrive. Ryujin rested her head in your lap, and without thinking, you rubbed her back to comfort her.
You took a long gulp of water with a satisfied “Ah~” before reaching for your beer.
“Wellll~ Beer is basically water. You should have some too Jennie-poo! It isn’t a post-game if we don’t drink till we die,” you exclaimed, taking a sip from the can.
“UGH~” Ryujin groaned, deadpanning, “I want to die~”
“Girl, she literally cheated on you and then wanted to be exclusive while she was fucking someone else—like, what?” Yuna added, deadpan.
That comment made all of you burst out laughing(she was right), even as Ryujin lightly punched Yuna in the arm.
“Hey~! Be niceeee~ Show some compassion!” Yunjin scolded, trying and failing to stifle her laughter.
You were still chuckling when your phone buzzed again in your pocket. Grabbing it, you blinked a couple of times, trying to focus your eyes on the notification.
Giselle?
Your vision was still a little too blurry to make sense of it.
"Hey!" Yunjin faked being cold
“You have a secret girlfriend or somethin'?” Yunjin teased, sounding just like a jealous girlfriend.
“Huh?” you responded, still distracted.
“Who’s messaging you at 1:30 in the morning? You have a sneaky link you’re not telling us about?” Yunjin continued, laughing.
Meanwhile, Ryujin was still moping in your lap. “Hey! Sensitive subject!” she groaned dramatically.
“Fuck if I know, I honestly have zero clue,” you mumbled, your words slurring as you stared at your phone before turning it off.
The next morning, you woke up in your bed with a slight headache. You groaned, rolling over to reach for your water bottle and chugged it like it was the last water on Earth.
The cold water worked its magic, refreshing you enough to (barely) function. You grabbed your phone from the charger and started scrolling through your notifications, still half-asleep. But then, one notification made you freeze—last night’s Facebook message.
You clicked on it, your grogginess instantly fading as your eyes widened in surprise. It was from none other than the girl who made you experience your first instance of love—Aeri Uchinaga.
“Giselle Uchinaga?” you muttered to yourself, reading her profile in disbelief.
That’s why you couldn’t find her! It made complete sense now. Her features were more mature, but that familiar smile—the one that had always warmed your heart—was still there, lighting up her face in every picture. You couldn’t stop smiling as you scrolled through her photos.
Just then, Yunjin’s voice broke through your thoughts, pulling you back to reality.
“Y/n! Are you awake? I made avocado toast and eggs!” she announced from the other side of your door.
“Ahh~ okay, yeah, lemme pee and I’ll be out!” you called back, your voice still raspy from sleep.
You quickly splashed some water on your face and pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before stepping out of your room.
“Good morning!” you chirped, only to be met with a synchronized groan from Yuna and Ryujin.
“How the fuck do you have this much energy? What puts you in such a good mood?” Yuna asked, holding an ice pack on her forehead.
“Hm?” you replied, walking over to your coffee cup on the table that Yunjin had filled for you. “Thank Jennie-poo! And nothing, I just don’t have a massive hangover like you two idiots—should’ve drank beer instead of taking shots”
As you sipped your coffee, your mind of course, drifted back to last night. That damn text from Aeri.
The two of you exchanged a few quick messages, exchanging numbers, and catching up briefly before settling on a time that worked best for both of you to video call. It felt surreal, reading Aeri’s replies after all these years—like time had somehow folded in on itself, bringing the past back into the present.
You found yourself staring at your phone, the FaceTime app open and ready, but your heart pounding in your chest. What if things had changed too much? What if she wasn’t the Aeri you remembered? What if you weren’t the person she expected? Your thoughts spiraled as you adjusted your hair for what felt like the tenth time.
It’s just a call, you reminded yourself. It’s just Aeri. You’ve known her before.
But even though you’d told yourself that a hundred times, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t settle. The phone buzzed in your hand as the screen lit up. Incoming FaceTime: Aeri Uchinaga.
You took a deep breath, your thumb hovering over the screen for a moment longer than it should have. Then, finally, you swiped to answer.
Aeri’s face appeared, pixelated for just a second before the connection stabilized. There she was. Her familiar eyes, her smile—the same, but different? You stared at each other for a beat, neither of you quite sure how to start.
Aeri broke the silence with a nervous laugh. “Wow.. it’s been so long. I almost forgot what you looked like!”
You smiled, feeling the same rush of emotions you hadn’t felt in years. “I know right? I wasn’t sure what to expect either. You look… different. In a good way, of course.” nervousness still present in your voice
“Same to you,” Aeri said, her voice softening as she studied your face. “It’s like, you’ve changed, but... not really, you know?”
You laughed, the tension beginning to ease. “Except now you’re Giselle, huh?”
Aeri grinned, rolling her eyes playfully. “Yeah, that’s a long story. But trust me, it’s still me. Aeri Uchinaga at heart.”
You both chuckled, the ice slowly breaking as the conversation started to feel more familiar. It was strange, seeing her face again like this after so many years—older, more mature, but still with that same smile.
“Soo.. You’re really out there becoming a designer, huh?” you teased, shaking your head with an incredulous smile. “It’s kind of wild thinking about you... you know, living in Korea and actually doing all the things you told me you would like years ago”
Aeri laughed, her tone warm but modest. “Don’t let social media fool you. I’m not as glamorous as it seems. I’m still the same girl who couldn’t shoot a basketball to save her life.”
You grinned, shaking your head. “Oh god yeah! I remember! You were sooo bad. I thought for sure you were going to quit after that first fall.”
“Whatever! I literally was just trying to impress you,” she joked, her laugh lighting up the screen.
With each passing minute, the conversation felt easier. The laughter flowed naturally, memories of your childhood together resurfacing as if no time had passed at all.
“So... how have you been, really?” Aeri asked after a while, her tone more serious now. “I feel like I missed so much. of your life"
You nodded, the weight of the years between you sinking in. “Yeah, it feels strange, I feel the same too. I’ve been good, I guess. But seeing you like this… I dunno.. It feels like yesterday, you were just that little girl on the other side of the road from me.”
Aeri smiled, her expression softening. “Right? I don’t know, life is so weird sometimes.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, a small smile tugging at your lips. “And now, you’re the girl on my screen.”
As the night went on, you both talked about everything—your lives, your dreams, the things you had wanted to say but never got the chance to. It was like reconnecting with a part of yourself you thought you’d lost. By the end of the call, there was an unspoken understanding between you both. This wasn’t just a one-off conversation.
“So, let’s not wait another decade to do this again?” you said with a grin.
Aeri laughed. “Deal. Next time, I’ll tell you the full story behind ‘Giselle.’”
“I’m holding you to that, Aeri” you replied, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years.
And that’s how it was. For a few months, you both shared everything—your days, your worries, even the smallest details. You started waiting for her calls, looking forward to the time you’d spend talking. She was always there, her laughter filling your nights(and early mornings!), making you feel closer to her despite the distance.
It was almost as if you were in a relationship. The way she looked at you through the screen, the way your conversations lingered on hopes and what-ifs. You could almost imagine what it would be like to be with her again, for real.
You routinely called Aeri during your day.
Hey,” you greeted with a smile as the screen connected.
“Hey,” Aeri chuckled softly on the other end.
“Is it 7:00 in the morning there? I thought you said you never wake up before 10:00,” you teased, noting how early it was for her.
“I don’t,” Aeri replied, a smile tugging at her lips. “But this was the only time that worked for you, right?”
“Well yeah but don’t you have class today?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeahh~” she admitted, “but it’s later~” sleepiness still evident in her voice
You couldn’t help but tease her. “Ya know Aeri, your english is pretty rusty”
“Hey!” Aeri chuckled in return and her eyes opened slightly. “I only speak English with you and my mom!”
You both laughed yet some silence strung between the two of you
“So, you said you were leaving California to be the world’s greatest designer... You still want that?”
Aeri paused for a moment while shifting in her bed, then smiled. “Hmm... I think maybe I’ll have a business like.. My own line of clothes”
“Ahh wow~” You sighed, “ You’re the same Aeri I remember. Wanting to do everything, have everything and also still so sassy.” you teased again
She laughed, feigning shock. “Sassy? Wow, can’t believe you think of me like that”
Aeri’s grin widened before continuing, “Actually... I got invited to Japan this summer to design for this brand for a whole month. My professor helped me get into the program!”
“Wait, so you’ll be in Japan for a month?” you asked, surprised. “That’s amazing.”
“Yeah,” Aeri nodded, her excitement palpable. “It’s crazy. I can’t believe it’s happening.”
“So, how are your applications going?” she asked, her voice softening.
“Hmm, wellll~ they’re going,” you replied with a small smile. “I’m looking at Boston for grad school.”
Aeri sighed, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. “Ah wow, look at us.. when did we grow up? It feels like we’re almost... truly adults.”
“Hmm, I know,” you agreed, a thoughtful pause hanging between you. “Too soon though.”
You hung up shortly after and went about your day. You studied with Yunjin, and later, the girls came over for dinner, followed by a late-night study session. By the time you showered and finally settled into bed, it was already 1 AM when your phone buzzed—Aeri was calling.
“Hello?” You mumbled out as you turned your lamp on
“Oh sorry, were you sleeping?” she asked, her face slightly blurry on the screen.
“Mm,” you sighed softly, rubbing your eyes. “No, I just got into bed, actually.”
“Long day?”
“Mhm, but that’s alright. What’s up?” you asked, shifting into a more comfortable position and reaching for your glasses.
“I’m just.. in Haebonchang right now,” she said, flipping the camera to show the view. “Look how beautiful the sunset is, Y/n.”
The sunset was breathtaking, shades of pink, orange, and purple blending into each other like a painting across the sky.
“Wow... it’s beautiful, Aeri,” you said in awe.
Aeri’s voice softened before she flipped the camera back to herself. “Yeah... I wish you were here,” she said quietly, her eyes flickering between the camera and the fading light.
There was a pause, her words lingering in the space between you.
“Maybe one day.. We could go there together,” you whispered, your voice tinged with sadness.
“Yeah.. I’d really like that,” Aeri responded, her tone gentle but carrying the weight of something more.
There was a brief second of silence. As if both of you were hesitating to speak up.
“I miss you,” you whispered, barely audible, your voice filled with longing. Time zones didn’t matter, distance didn’t matter. You really just longed for Aeri.
Those three words heavily hung in the air between you two.
“I miss you too,” Aeri quietly admitted, her voice soft but sincere, resistance evident in her confession.
The day after that interaction, things started to feel different. The FaceTime calls slowly became more sparse, and her texts were less frequent. You tried not to overthink it, giving her the space you thought she might need. But as the days passed, the silence began to weigh on you. Eventually, you double texted her, unable to ignore any longer.
“Aeri, is everything okay?”
For the first time in days, her response came instantly.
“Yeah sorry, I’m okay. I just have something on my mind. Can we call later?”
Her words did nothing to ease your nerves.
“Of course,” you typed back, keeping it simple, though your heart raced.
The uncertainty gnawed at you, the anxiety tightening in your chest as you stared at the screen.
Finally, what felt like days but in reality was just a few hours, Aeri called you.
You hesitantly answered “Hey Aeri, you okay?”
There was a pause, and that’s when you knew it didn’t seem promising.
“Y/n,” she began softly, her face on the screen appearing hesitant, almost conflicted.
“..Aeri?” you prompted gently, your voice unsure now.
She sighed deeply, her gaze dropping for a second before meeting yours again. “Y/n… I need to talk to you about something.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah I know, what’s going on? You okay?”
“When is it possible for you to visit me in Seoul?” she asked bluntly, though her tone remained soft.
You hesitated. “Well, maybe about a year or so? Just with grad schoo–”
She cut you off gently, “I know.. You don’t have to explain yourself, I just– God,” She paused as if holding herself back from admitting something. “It’ll be over a year and a half until I can visit you”
Your eyes stayed glued to the screen, watching her struggle to compose herself. The pit in your stomach deepened
Aeri swallowed hard, clearly struggling with her next words. “I think we should stop talking for a while”
Your chest tightened.
“Why?”
“I came here..” She began, “ No– I’ve had this goal since forever. I want to accomplish something here but.. I can’t stop myself from looking up flights to California every day.
And I think… I think I need to focus on committing my life here”
You blinked, the realization slowly sinking in. She was leaving again.
“So you want.. to stop talking to me?” Your words trailed off, unsure of how to finish that thought or if there’s anything more you could possibly say.
“Just for now,” she said quietly, her eyes softening with what seemed like guilt. “And I really don’t want to lose you. But I know.. I have to give this my all.”
You bit your lip, trying to keep the lump in your throat from forming. “Aeri.. It took me 10 years to find you.”
She looked down again, exhaling slowly trying to fight a sob from coming out. “I know Y/n, but I’ll be back before you know it.. It’s just a brief break”
Fuck
You nodded slowly, though your heart ached. “Alright then Aeri ”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely above a whisper now. “I’m so sorry” She began to cry.
“No need to be sorry,” You said as you choked back your own tears, clearing your throat to cover it. “We weren’t dating or anything so don’t worry about it. Really.”
There was a long pause, the silence between you filled with all the things neither of you were ready to say.
“Take care of yourself and good luck, okay?” Aeri said, her voice soft but final.
“You too,” you replied, your throat tight, the words barely escaping. “I’ll be right here.”
The call ended, and for the first time in months, the silence felt unbearable.
Aeri never knew that this was the hardest you cried in years.
Whoever said times heals everything, is a straight up liar. Time doesn’t heal, it just lets you get used to how things are now.
It had been about eight years since you had last spoken to her and honestly, you didn’t think much of Aeri anymore. Life had moved on, as it does. Although, there were days when you’d think back on everything but those thoughts were extremely rare now, fleeting, like a distant memory and it didn’t sting the way it used to. You’d convinced yourself that was just how things went. People come and go, and life moves forward whether you’re ready or not.
Once you graduated and started your new job in Boston not long after. You settled into a routine that felt strange at first but eventually became your new normal
Somehow, you managed to entice Yunjin to move to Boston. She had moved into a place not too far from yours with her (now!) fiance. Her sister also lives in Boston too so the transition wasn’t too hard. Yuna and Ryujin had ended up in New York, so weekends/every other weekend often meant catching a train to visit them or planning get-togethers whenever everyone’s schedules aligned.
Your 9-to-5 job wasn’t glamorous, but it was steady—something you could rely on. You fell into the rhythm of it quickly enough. The crowded subway rides during rush hour, the packed streets of Boston, the distant hum of the city became part of your daily routine. You’d slip into your office, get your work done, and slip out at the end of the day. It wasn’t what you imagined back when you were chasing dreams in California, picturing something a little more exciting, maybe a little more daring. But it wasn’t bad either—it was.. just comfortable.
After work, you'd sometimes grab a drink with coworkers or meet up with the woman you’d met shortly after getting into grad school. There was nothing too serious between the two of you, just the occasional dinners or casual hangouts. She was fun to be around—easygoing, good company, someone you could relax with. You’d meet up after work at a bar downtown, sharing a drink and small talk about your days. Or sometimes, you’d catch a movie or grab takeout, sitting side by side on the couch in her small apartment, talking about work or random things that made you laugh.
It wasn’t the life-altering-head-over-heels kind of thing, but it felt normal, almost comforting. There was no pressure to be anything more than it was or used to be, and that was fine with you both. Life had settled into place without much fanfare, a quiet routine that you didn’t mind..
It wasn’t until one quiet evening, after a long day at work, that something finally disrupted your routine. You were sitting on the couch, nursing a beer, and scrolling through your phone without much thought, letting the noise of the day slowly fade away.
That was until a notification lit up your screen. You glanced at it out of habit, not expecting anything important. But the name made you pause.
Aeri Yizhuo.
Who?
Aeri…?
Your heart skipped a beat as recognition clicked into place.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
For a second, your heart skipped a beat. You stared at the message, the familiar feeling creeping back into your chest, one you hadn’t felt in ages. You hadn’t thought of her in so long, and yet, there she was. After all this time.
And then, the truth hit you like a punch to the gut.
Aeri was married now.
You felt the sting of it, sharp and unexpected, cutting deeper than you would’ve liked to admit. It shouldn’t have hurt this much. You hadn’t thought about her in so long as you knew she’d been building a life in Korea. You had moved on! Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.
But here she was, after all these years she still had the ability to make you feel something. A feeling couldn’t quite put your finger on.
After all this time, part of you had still hoped for something. For something more than this.
About a month or two after your surprise catch-up with Aeri, you finally decided it was time to visit her. The timing was perfect—it was the end of the fiscal year, and you had some extra days off to use. You figured, why not? It would be a good vacation right? The thought of seeing her after all this time felt surreal, but exciting in a way you couldn’t quite describe. You’d booked your flight, set to leave next weekend so you and your friends decided to meet this weekend.
"So," Yunjin piped up, setting down her shot glass with a grin, "Why are you going to Korea?" You, Yunjin, Yuna, and Ryujin were all seated in Yunjin and Kazuha's shared apartment, a half-empty bottle of vodka in the middle of the table while your beer cans scattered around your side.
"She's going to see that girl, rememberrr?" Ryujin teased, her tone playful.
"Who?" you replied, pretending not to know who she was talking about.
Ryujin rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it. "Don't play dumb, idiot. You know exactly who I'm talking about—your first love, right? I thought she lives there, doesn't she?"
"Oh, I see how it is," Yuna chimed in with a smirk. "You just broke up with your girlfriend so you could go see her, huh? You dog"
"What! I’m going for vacation," you exclaimed, shaking your head. "And plus, you guys are crazy. She's married now."
"WHAT? Seriously?" Yunjin blurted out, her voice incredulous.
"Mhm," you nodded, your tone more casual now though it stung to admit it. "For like five or six years now"
You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel bad about it. After all, from your previous conversation with Aeri, it was clear how happy she was. She’d met her wife, Ning Yizhou, during her design trip in Japan. Aeri had described Ning as an absolutely beautiful soul, someone kind and supportive. They both work together now, running Aeri’s business, Giselle.
From the way Aeri spoke about Ning, you could hear the genuine love and admiration in her voice. There was no bitterness in your heart—how could there be? You were happy for her, happy that she had found someone who brought light into her life, someone who shared in her dreams.
In fact, you were proud of her. She really did accomplish everything she had set out to do. It was bittersweet, of course, but you were genuinely happy for her.
That’s all that mattered.
Right?
You stood just outside of Incheon International Airport, the thick scent of rain mingling with the smoke from your cigarette as you waited for your Uber. The weather had suddenly turned gray the second you had landed, casting a quiet gloom over the city, the kind that sinks into your bones(What a great sign, huh?). Raindrops softly patterned on the sidewalk while you took another slow drag, the smoke curling up into the damp air.
The second you crushed the cigarette beneath your shoe and bent over to pick it up, a car pulled up in front of you, headlights cutting through the misty rain. You quickly threw it in the appropriate spot in the trash can and opened the back door, climbing in with a sigh.
“Annyeonghaseyo~,” you greeted the driver in your best (broken) Korean, trying to remember the phrases you had studied years ago for Aeri.
The driver smiled politely in the rearview mirror, his eyes crinkling with amusement. “Ah, I also speak English. Are you going to the hotel?”
You felt your cheeks flush slightly, nodding as you let out a small, relieved laugh, “Yes, please!” lowering your head in a polite bow.
The car slipped into the rainy Seoul night, the city lights blurring through the raindrops on the windows. The sound of rain hitting the roof of the car was soothing. Your eyes traced the streets as you drove deeper into the heart of the city. The roads were wet and glistening, the neon signs reflecting off the slick pavement, painting the night in hues of red, blue, and green.
The drive felt longer than it was, the beautiful city of Seoul was a lot to take in. Finally, you pulled up to the front of your hotel, the bright lights of the entrance cutting through the rain. The driver helped you with your bags, and you handed him some Won with a shy bow and a “gamsahamnida,” before heading inside.
Checking in was a blur of polite smiles and hurried conversations with the hotel staff. Before you knew it, you were standing in your empty room, the door clicking shut behind you with a finality that made the space feel even bigger.
The rain had picked up, drumming harder against the window. You crossed the room slowly, setting your bag down by the bed before making your way to the large floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. The lights of Seoul stretched out before you, and they were incredibly bright.
A reflection of your younger self flickered in the glass, dim and blurred by the raindrops. It was as if your inner child was staring right back at you—smiling brightly in those stupid colorful shorts your Mom loved to dress you in with a big toothy grin stretching across your face.
As quickly as she appeared, she vanished. Then reflected back was an almost unrecognizable adult. It was you. The light in your eyes was still prevalent, but it just wasn’t as bright as it used to be. Years must have dimmed that spark and softened the edges of the person you once were.
You leaned your forehead against the cool glass, watching as your breath fogged up the window. The city below pulsed with life, its bright lights and movement carrying on unaware of your inner turmoil.
In that moment, surrounded by the bright lights of a city that was so beautiful and full of life.
You had never felt more alone.
Some bridges in Korean folklore represent reunion and enduring love, like the Magpie Bridge, where separated lovers meet once a year to reaffirm their bond. Others, however, represent a fleeting reconnection—brief moments that can’t last, like this one.
The next morning, you got ready and made your way to Seonyudo Park Bridge, a location Aeri had sent you earlier. The sky wasn’t rainy (luckily) and the soft hum of the city seemed distant as you stood at the edge of the bridge, anxiously watching pedestrians and tourists bustle around. Snippets of Korean and bits of broken English floated past you as you nervously fidgeted with the strap of your tote bag.
You shifted your weight, glancing around, when a voice called out, one you hadn’t heard in person in years.
“Y/n!”
Your head instinctively turned.
Suddenly, in front of you stood a child. She wore jean shorts, a Hello Kitty shirt, and had medium length black hair. Her smile was bright, lighting up her entire face, and her eyes sparkled with a familiar excitement.
It was a smile you could recognize anywhere.
For a moment, you were transported back in time. There she was—Aeri, as you remembered her as a child, standing on the other side of the bridge. You froze, staring in disbelief as the vision of her younger self ran toward you, wide-eyed and full of life. It felt so real—the way she moved, the way her smile hadn't changed.
But then you blinked, and the vision vanished and adult, present time Aeri was just walking toward you. She looked different—grown up. Her hair had grown longer, her figure more filled in, and her features had sharpened with time. But that damn smile, the way her eyes crinkled in the corners when she smiled, was exactly the same as you remembered it from 20 years ago.
Without thinking, your body moved on its own, a shy yet goofy smile creeping across your face as you walked toward her. Your strides were longer, more eager, and you met her about three-quarters of the way across the bridge. You met her where she was.
Now standing just a foot apart, neither of you spoke at first. You both stood there, taking each other in, as if afraid to break the fragile moment. Aeri was still shorter than you by a couple of inches, and she was dressed in a sleek black leather jacket with gray slacks that made her look effortlessly beautiful.
You looked down at her, your heart racing, and for a few seconds, the world around you seemed to fade away. The silence between you wasn’t awkward—it was heavy, but not uncomfortable. It was the weight of everything left unsaid, everything that had built up over the years.
Finally, Aeri sighed softly, her eyes locked on yours, and a smile tugged at her lips. “Wow~,” she whispered, looking up at you with a mix of awe and warmth.
She surprisingly embraced you in an unexpected hug. Your hands hovered, ghosting across her sides.
“I missed you” She muffled out on your shoulder
You didn’t respond.
You both pulled back from the hug, standing there, just staring at each other. There was something almost surreal about it—the way you both remembered each other so clearly, yet in this moment, you felt like strangers, familiar but somehow unrecognizable.
“You look amazing,” you croaked out, your voice betraying the flood of emotions. “You’ve changed but... you haven’t? If that makes sense.” A nervous laugh escaped your lips.
Aeri lowered her head, letting out a soft, breathy chuckle. “I could say the same to you... When did you get so tall?”
You shyly smirked “I think you’ve just always been short.”
“Ah~ so you haven’t changed at all. Still so~ annoying,” she teased, her laugh infectious.
The laughter faded, and a comfortable silence settled between you both as you took each other in again, the weight of time pressing gently on the moment.
“So...” Aeri smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “You wanna go? I’ve got a few places planned for us.”
“Yeah, of course. Let’s go,” you replied, and without another word, you followed Aeri much like a dog
The Han River has long been a symbol of flow, change, and life in Korea. Flowing water symbolizes the constant change in ones life.. they’re moving in different directions, but still connected in some way.
The walk wasn’t far, but neither of you spoke at first. Aeri led the way and you followed, both of you too shy to break the silence. Finally, she guided you to a quiet spot near the bank of the Han River, the water glistening under the dim light of the overcast sky.
“How’s here?” Aeri finally spoke, settling down near the water’s edge.
“Mmm,” you murmured, nodding as you sat beside her. The lush grass below you.
You both sat quietly, watching the water, the silence growing heavier with unsaid words.
“Was the last time we talked really eight years ago?” Aeri sighed, breaking the silence again.
“I think so? We’re 30 now... So, yeah, I guess it was,” you said, turning your head slightly toward her. “Feels weird huh?” You gave her a little half smile.
“Wow...” she whispered, her voice carrying the weight of those lost years.
After a brief pause, she added, “You know.. before I got married, I went to New York with my wife.”
“I know.”
“I sent you a message on Facebook, I didn’t know if you had changed your number” she continued, smiling softly but with a hint of sadness in her eyes. “But you didn’t respond”
There was another pause. It felt like she had more to say, so you stayed quiet, waiting.
“I wanted to see you,” she admitted quietly. “I was disappointed.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, your gaze fixed on the water, avoiding her eyes. There wasn’t much else you could say, something was hanging in the air between you.
Aeri shifted, her tone changing slightly. “Well, I also wanted to meet your girlfriend. How are you guys doing?”
“We’re not together right now,” you admitted.
“Oh, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to— wait, did you break up?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.
“Oh well no, I don't know, we’re just... in a weird spot right now. She wants to get married but...”
“But you don’t?” Aeri asked, cutting through your hesitation.
“Yeah it's just, I don’t know, it’s just... complicated,” you sighed, trying not to reveal too much, keeping your emotions in check.
“What’s complicated?” she pressed, her voice direct, almost matter-of-fact.
You chuckled lightly at her tone. “I’m still paying off my student loans. I just don’t want my wife to carry that burden, you know? Boston is expensive enough as it is...” It wasn’t entirely a lie. But deep down, you knew there was more to your hesitation than just the financial part.
“I just feel like she deserves someone better than me. We’ve been together but.. not really together for so long... She deserves someone who can give her what she wants. Someone... less ordinary and..”
“Ordinary?” Aeri interrupted softly, her voice filled with disbelief. “You’re far from ordinary, Y/n. You know you’re...” she trailed off, as if catching herself before saying too much.
You gave her a small smile, ignoring her hesitation. It was clear neither of you wanted to dig into old feelings, not yet, maybe even never. There was too much that both of you were avoiding.
“So, how’s work?” you asked, gently steering the conversation away from the tension that had built up. The question felt like a safe place to land, something casual and mundane.
Aeri smiled, seeming to relax a little. “Busy, as always. Giselle’s doing well, though. It’s everything I dreamed of... and more stressful than I imagined.”
“That sounds about right,” you chuckled, the heaviness between you starting to ease. “But, I knew you could do it. I’m really proud of you, Aeri.”
Slowly, the awkwardness began to dissipate. You found yourselves laughing about silly memories from when you were younger, filling in the gaps from the eight years you had missed.
Aeri told you about the ups and downs of her business, her wife, her travels, and the unexpected ways life had changed her. You shared stories of grad school, your friends, your job, and the quiet moments of your own life that had shaped you. It was easy to get lost in the rhythm of it, the back and forth, as though no time had passed at all.
Before you knew it, the sun had started to dip, casting soft shades of pink and orange across the sky. .
“Remember that one time when you fe–”
Your stomach grumbled loudly, cutting through Aeri’s story
“Oh my god, are you hungry?” Aeri’s eyes widened with concern.
Oh, no I’m fine, really!” You tried to assuage but of course she did not relent
“No it’s okay, I could eat too. Let’s go get some food, there’s a great to-go spot nearby, and then I’ve got one more place I want to show you.”
She was already on her feet, tugging at your sleeve before you could even think to protest. Not that you would, of course.
You chuckled softly, offering a simple, “Alright,” as a smile crept onto your face. It just felt so natural. Aeri was still the same, always charging ahead, her excitement infectious, leading you from behind as she had so many times before.
Some things really never change.
Soon, you both arrived at a cozy 24-hour convenience store, the kind that makes it fresh right there. It was small and tucked away, but the smell of freshly made meals greeted you the moment you stepped inside. You ordered an onigiri, feeling like that’s all your stomach could handle after such a day like this.
You unwrapped it and took a bite, savoring the simple comfort of the food, but before you could settle in, Aeri was pulling you along again, her food in hand, excitement bubbling in her voice.
“Let’s go, the bus comes in three minutes!” she said, glancing at her phone with a grin.
You both made it onto the bus(after scarfing down your rice ball) barely just in time. With no seats available, you were left standing together, holding the same pole.
Strangers pressed in around you, the sounds of conversation and the hum of the city filling the space. But in that moment, it felt like it was only the two of you in the world.
Your fingers brushed against each other, but neither of you moved. The silence stretched between you, not awkward, just heavy with all the years missed.
You met Aeri’s gaze, and for a brief second, it felt like time slowed.
The bus glided (not) smoothly through the city streets, and yet the tension between you was almost tangible. Your mind raced with everything you wanted to say, but none of the words seemed right.
"Ae—" you started to say, but before the words could form, Aeri cut you off softly.
“Oh, we’re here,” she said, her voice gently pulling you both back into the present moment.
The bus came to a stop, and you followed her out, stepping into the cool evening air. The two of you walked side by side, the quiet comfort between you settling in again as you made your way toward Namsan Tower, known for its Love Lock Bridge.
“Do you want a picture?” Aeri asked, breaking the silence. “It is your vacation, right? I feel like you haven’t taken many pictures while you’ve been here. Probably my fault,” she laughed lightly, her tone warm.
“Oh yeah, sure!” you said, handing her your phone.
You posed in front of a scenic spot along the path, flashing your signature bright smile.
“Ah~ so cute,” she teased, snapping a few photos before handing your phone back to you.
“Thanks,” you said, quickly glancing at the picture before slipping the phone into your pocket.
The two of you continued walking, your shoulders brushing against each other now and then as the foot traffic toward the bridge picked up. Just before you reached the bridge, Aeri stopped in her tracks, turning to you with a serious look.
“Y/n,” she said, her voice soft but steady.
“Hmm?” you looked at her curiously.
“Why did you... search for me?” she asked quietly, her gaze lingering on you.
“Eight years ago?” you finished for her.
“Mhm,” she nodded.
“Do you really want to know?” you asked, meeting her eyes. She gave a small nod in response, waiting.
You took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I wanted to see you again... I don’t know. You left so suddenly, and I guess I was a little pissed off, honestly.”
“I’m sorry,” Aeri said softly.
You let out a small huff of laughter. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I guess... you’re right. I don’t have anything to be sorry for,” she admitted, smiling faintly.
“You were just in my entire life, and then you left... and then, bam, I found you again,” you said, the words coming out more candidly than you expected.
“Why would you do that?” she asked, her voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.
“I don’t know, honestly... You kept entering my mind when I was in college. I thought about you... a lot,” you admitted.
Aeri nodded, her expression softening. “I see.”
“We were babies back then, huh?” you chuckled, the tension easing. “And even eight years ago... we were still figuring things out.”
“Yeah,” Aeri smiled, a bittersweet glint in her eyes. “I can’t believe we’re not ‘babies’ anymore.”
You both finally arrived at the Love Lock Bridge, the sky now a deep shade of blue, illuminated by the city lights below. The bridge was alive with the soft hum of conversations you couldn’t quite understand and the distant sounds of traffic, but you felt a quiet stillness between you and Aeri walked around.
“Ning and I came here for our anniversary,” Aeri said, her voice almost wistful as she glanced around. “It was hard to find at first. We spent months looking for the perfect spot to place our lock.”
She started scanning the rows upon rows of locks, her fingers brushing over the cold metal as she looked for hers. But while she was focused on finding it, you couldn’t stop staring at her—the way her hair fell over her face as she leaned in, the subtle concentration etched on her features, the soft smile that tugged at her lips every now and then as she searched.
You knew you should probably be at least trying to help her, but at this moment, it felt like she was a world away, even as she stood right next to you. She was talking about their anniversary, their love, and you couldn’t shake away the sinking feeling.
Then suddenly, She spotted it. A small, worn lock with their names etched in faded letters. Ning and Aeri. She pointed at it.
“There,” she said softly.
Your eyes followed your finger, and she smiled when she saw it.
“Wow... I didn’t think we’d be able to find it.”
You forced a smile, but the heaviness in your chest lingered. After a few moments of small talk about the lock, the conversation lulled, and Aeri checked the time. The soft glow of the city lights and the quiet hum of the evening reminded you both that this reunion, like everything, had to come to an end.
“I should probably head home,” Aeri said quietly, her voice carrying a hint of reluctance. She didn’t want to break the moment, but it was inevitable.
You nodded, your own smile fading. “Yeah, I should get back too.”
Home. She was going home to someone—to a life that didn’t include you. And as much as you tried to push the thought aside, it stung.
She walked with you toward the bus stop, in silence. The conversation from earlier echoed in your mind—how you had found her again, only to realize that the distance between your lives was now undeniable.
When the bus pulled up, Aeri watched as you stepped inside. She gave you one last, soft smile, the kind that carried more meaning than any words could, just before the doors closed between you.
You said your quiet goodbye, instead of walking her home like you used to, you headed back to your own place. Alone.
The next day arrived with a clearer sky, though the weight of the previous night still lingered faintly in your chest. You weren’t sure how to feel, but Aeri’s early morning text had a way of pulling you out of your thoughts: “Let’s go to Seoul Tower today! I feel like everyone who visits needs to see it.”
Of course you agreed, a few hours later when you had checked out of your hotel, you found yourself walking toward one of Seoul’s most famous places, N Seoul Tower, with Aeri by your side. The streets were alive with locals and tourists, bustling around market stalls and snapping photos.
There was a vibrant energy of the city surrounding you, but your focus was on Aeri, who was as animated as ever, pointing out landmarks and sharing random facts about the places you passed. It was cute.
“This place is sooo a must for anyone visiting Seoul,” Aeri said with a grin as you passed a shop offering hanbok rentals. “Wanna try one on?” She teased “Or are you more in the mood for food?”
You bantered back. “Let’s try food first. I don’t think I’m ready for a hanbok yet,” you playfully rolled your eyes
You stopped at a food stall, grabbing some hotteok, tteokbokki, and grilled meat skewers.
“You have to try this. It’s my favorite,” she said, handing you a cup of hotteok, her face lighting up as you took a bite of the warm treat “See?! I knew you’d like it.”
The day moved quickly as you wandered through the crowded streets, snapping photos, enjoying the ‘touristy’ vibe. It felt easier, lighter, as if you could both escape into the city, even if just for a while.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden hue over the city, Aeri led you to the top of N Seoul Tower. From the observation deck, you could see all of Seoul stretched out before you. The view was breathtaking, the city bathed in the soft light of the sun.
“This city... it’s strange how much it’s become home,” Aeri said quietly, her voice softer now. She leaned against the railing, staring out at the skyline. “I never thought I’d feel that way when I first moved here.”
You stood beside her. “It’s beautiful,” you said, your own voice hushed, as if speaking too loudly might break the delicate moment. You stared at her as she gazed out over the city, your mind was elsewhere.
For a while, you both stood in silence, taking in the view. In that moment, it didn’t matter where you had come from or where you were going.
For now, this was enough.
After spending the day embodying a tourist and such, the sun had long set, and the once-bustling streets now felt quieter as you followed Aeri back to her apartment.
You were nervous of course,
“She knows I’m coming. right?” you asked, pausing mid-step.
“Of course,” Aeri replied, leading you up the steps to her apartment—the place she now called home.
As you entered, Aeri's wife, Ning, was already by the door. You weren’t sure what you had expected, but seeing her in the flesh felt surreal, like a final confirmation of the life Aeri had built without you. It felt like the gap between your past with Aeri and her present had suddenly become tangible.
After a brief moment of silence, you gave Ning a polite bow, offering your best attempt at broken Korean. “Annyeonghaseyo,” you said, smiling awkwardly.
Ning returned the gesture with a polite bow of her own. “Hello,” she responded in careful English.
For a second, both of you stood there, staring at each other incredulously, trying to find the right words, the weight of the moment hanging between you.
You nodded, your heart racing slightly. “It’s nice to meet you,” you added, this time in your most broken Korean.
Ning smiled kindly, understanding the effort you were making. “It’s nice to meet you too,” she said
Ning chuckled softly, the slight language barrier immediately apparent but not uncomfortable. “Aeri told me… a lot about you.” she responded in English
“Likewise”
Aeri came to your side, sensing the mix of emotions swirling in the air. “Ning, should we grab something to eat? She’s leaving later tonight, so I think we should eat,” Aeri said in Korean, but you didn’t quite catch the words.
Ning nodded and turned to you, switching back to English. “What do you like to eat?”
You pondered for a moment, thinking of something simple but satisfying. “Hmm… samgyupsal?”
Ning’s face immediately lit up at the mention of her favorite food. “Let’s go get samgyupsal!” she said, her excitement evident.
You three ended up at a cozy late-night bar and restaurant, the soft hum of conversation and clinking of glasses filling the space. Dinner had gone smoothly, the samgyupsal hitting the spot, and now you were all nursing drinks, passing time until your Uber was set to arrive.
“So, have you traveled out of the United States before?” Ning asked in Korean, her expression curious. Of course, you didn’t understand, but Aeri leaned in, her voice low as she translated.
“She’s asking if you’ve been out of the country before,” Aeri said with a small smile, eyes flicking between you and her wife.
You shook your head with a soft laugh. “I’ve been to Japan and Spain before, but I think Korea has been my favorite so far.”
Aeri translated the words, and Ning nodded with a smile.
“She says Seoul is a good place to start when visiting Korea, but if you come back, you should visit Jeju Island. It’s beautiful there,” Aeri translated again, while Ning added in her own bit in Korean, her face lighting up.
“I’ve heard great things about Jeju,” you said, returning the smile. “Maybe next time.”
The small talk flowed easily enough, but as the night wore on, Aeri slowly stopped translating, and Ning sat quietly, sipping her drink. It created an odd dynamic—one where it felt like Aeri was caught between two worlds, and Ning, though polite, was drifting further into her own thoughts.
You couldn’t help it. With the drinks loosening your tongue and emotions swirling inside you, the words began to spill out. Leaning in slightly, you lowered your voice, careful to keep your tone steady. “Aeri… thanks for introducing me to your wife.”
Aeri blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. “Mm,” she mumbled, her gaze flickering between you and her drink, unsure of where you were headed.
“I can tell she really loves you,” you added softly, the sincerity in your voice clear. "I didn't realize liking your wife would hurt this much."
Aeri’s eyes softened, her brow furrowing slightly. “Really?” she asked, her voice almost hesitant, as if she needed confirmation.
“Of course,” you replied, your words gentle, but heavy with the weight of what you weren’t saying.
A moment of silence passed, the sounds of the bar fading into the background as the two of you sat there, the space between you filled with things that had been left unsaid for too long.
You took a sip from your glass, gathering the courage to speak again. “… When we stopped talking back then… I really missed you. Did you miss me?”
The question hung in the air, heavy and raw, as if you’d been holding it in for years.
Aeri’s gaze dropped for a moment, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. When she finally looked up at you, her voice was softer, almost vulnerable. “Of course I did, Y/n.”
A dry laugh escaped your lips. “But you met your wife then.” There was an edge to your voice, a bitterness that surprised even you.
Aeri responded instantly, almost defensively. “And you had a girlfriend.”
You scoffed softly. “Right,” you murmured, shaking your head with a small smile. “Sorry.”
Aeri fidgeted with the rim of her glass. “It’s okay.”
After a few quiet moments, you exhaled, the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. The words slipped out before you had the chance to stop them. “Seeing you again… it’s made me have some strange thoughts.”
Aeri lifted her eyes to yours, her gaze gentle but curious. “What kind of thoughts?” she asked softly.
You hesitated, your fingers tracing the rim of your glass as you searched for the right words. “I keep thinking… what if I had come here eight years ago? What if you never left California? If we’d just grown up together, stayed in each other’s lives…”
You paused, the questions swirling in your mind before you continued, your voice growing softer. “Would I have still searched for you? Would we have dated? Broken up? Gotten married and had kids? Just.. you know, stuff like that.”
You glanced at Aeri, her expression unreadable as she absorbed everything you said.
“And what I’ve realized,” you continued, almost to yourself, “is that California… it was always too small for your ambition. You outgrew it before either of us realized. I’m happy you moved here, Aeri, I really am.
And the truth is, I liked you because you’re you. And who you are…” You trailed off for a moment, letting the words sink in before you finished quietly. “Who you are is someone who leaves.”
Aeri’s lips parted slightly, her breath catching. She looked away for a second, as if trying to gather her thoughts, before her voice came out in a whisper. “The Aeri Uchinaga you remember… she doesn’t exist anymore.”
Her words cracked slightly, as if admitting it to herself for the first time.
You felt a soft chuckle escape you, one tinged with understanding. “I know,” you replied. “I know.”
She nodded, but quickly added, “But… that doesn’t mean she never existed.” Her eyes met yours again, softer now. “I left that version of me behind 20 years ago. I left her with you.”
Her words, the honesty in them, tugged at something deep within you. “I know,” you repeated, meeting her gaze, a strange sense of peace settling over you. “I know we were only twelve… but I really did love her.”
Aeri’s lips curved into a small, sad smile, the kind that holds years of unspoken truths. “I know,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
You both let out a quiet laugh, the sound soft but comforting, a brief return to the simplicity of who you used to be.
“I think we must’ve been something together in our past lives,” she said after a while, her voice distant, thoughtful. “Otherwise, why would we be here together right now?”
You thought about her words, turning them over in your mind. “I agree,” you finally said. “But in this life… we obviously just aren’t those people to each other, are we? We’re finally in the same city for the first time in 20 years, and here we are, sitting together... with your wife.”
Your expression softened, as you quietly acknowledged the truth you both knew. “To Ning, you’re someone who stays,” you whispered.
A few moments of silence passed between you and Aeri.
“Who do you think we were to each other in our past lives?” Aeri asked suddenly, her voice soft, almost wistful.
You tilted your head, considering the question. “Hmm… I don’t know,” you said, your tone thoughtful. “Maybe we were forced into a political marriage to stop a war…Or maybe we were just two strangers on a bus who happened to sit next to each other. Or even.. maybe I was just a branch you decided to sit on as a bird on a cold morning.”
You and Aeri chuckled at that, though you could sense a sadness behind it.
You both sat in the quiet for a few more moments, the weight of those imagined lives lingering in the air, until Aeri excused herself to use the restroom, leaving you alone with Ning.
You turned toward her, feeling guilty for the past hour. “I’m sorry we spoke alone,” you said gently, your voice low. “It won’t happen again.”
Ning gave you a small, gentle smile, though there was something sad in her eyes. “Don’t worry,” she replied, her English hesitant but kind. “You two haven’t seen each other in a while. I’m glad I got to meet you Y/n.”
You nodded, her response easing some of the tension in your chest. “I’m glad too,” you said softly, offering her a smile in return
When Aeri returned, you paid the bill and the three of you made your way back to the apartment to grab your luggage. The atmosphere had shifted slightly—quiet, but not uncomfortable, just the natural stillness that follows the end of a long day.
“Hey, I’m gonna walk her to her Uber,” Aeri said to Ning, offering her a small, reassuring smile before turning toward you and the door.
You paused for a moment, glancing at Ning. Bowing slightly, you tried your best to piece together the Korean you’d practiced. “Nice to meet you. Come visit me in California.”
Ning’s eyes softened, and despite the awkwardness of the language barrier, her warmth was undeniable. She returned the bow, her own English just as halting but genuine. “Definitely,” she replied, her smile sincere. You offered her a small smile in return before following Aeri out the door.
As you and Aeri stepped out of the apartment, the cool night air hit you both. You walked side by side down the quiet street, neither of you saying much, both lost in your own thoughts.
The streets were dimly lit, the distant hum of the city lingering in the background. Every now and then, your shoulders brushed, but neither of you acknowledged it.
As you neared the end of the street, where your Uber was set to pick you up, you both stopped, standing under a flickering streetlight. The quiet air felt thick, the weight of the goodbye neither of you wanted to acknowledge.
Aeri shifted slightly, glancing at you before looking away, her hands fidgeting in her jacket pockets. “Will it be here soon?” she asked, her voice soft, trying to smooth over the tension between you.
You glanced at your phone, the screen glowing back at you. “Two minutes,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
Silence.
Some more silence fell between you two as the night deepened, the distant sounds of the city humming softly around you. Neither of you made any effort to fill the quiet, as if both afraid that words would shatter whatever remained between you.
Finally, the low rumble of a car pulling up signaled that your time was almost up. You glanced at the Uber, then down at your bags. With a sigh, you began to pack them into the trunk, your movements slow, almost hesitant, as if trying to delay the inevitable.
Just as you were about to open the car door, something inside you stirred. You couldn’t let this moment end without saying it.
“Aeri,” you called out, your voice breaking the silence as you turned toward her, your hand resting on the handle of the door.
She looked up, her eyes lighting up just a little as she responded, “Mm?”
For a moment, you hesitated, unsure if you should say the words that had been circling in your mind. But the thought of leaving without voicing them felt unbearable. So you smiled, that bittersweet smile tugging at your lips as you spoke.
“What if this is a past life as well, and we are already something else to each other in our next life? Who do you think we are then?” You could feel a deep sadness in your voice as the words left your lips.
Aeri blinked, the question taking her by surprise. Her eyes searched for yours, as if trying to understand the depth of your meaning. She looked almost vulnerable at that moment, her lips parting slightly before she whispered, “I-I don’t know.” Careful with her words
There was something in the way she said it—like she wanted to know, like she wished she had an answer for you but couldn’t bring herself to find one. The distance between you two felt like more than just the physical space separating you—it was something neither of you could cross.
You had realized just then. At that moment. That she hasn’t been looking at you with any sort of love or longing. She’d just been looking at you with nostalgia. A life before the weight of the world crashed down on her.
You lowered your head with a sad laugh in response to her.
“Alright,” you began, “Goodbye, Aeri Uchinaga.. See you then.” you whispered finally parting ways with the girl you'd known 20 years ago.
A feeling of loss over you, almost suffocating. You still managed a genuine smile because you were happy Aeri was happy.
Bittersweet.
“See you.. then, Y/n L/n” she whispered.
With that, you gave her a small nod, your heart heavy. The air between you felt thick with everything unsaid. Aeri looked back at you, her eyes holding a mix of emotions—nostalgia, sadness, maybe a little bit of both.
You opened the door and got into the backseat of the Uber. You glanced out the window one last time, catching a glimpse of Aeri standing there under the streetlight. She looked a little blurry in the dim light, but still the same Aeri you’ve always known.
For a second, your eyes met again. Neither of you waved, neither of you spoke. You both knew this was how it had to end.
You took a deep breath and nodded to the driver, and the car pulled away.
You silently stared out the window as the scenery of Seoul flashed by while tears streamed down your face.
You’ll never know that she was crying too. Harder than she ever had before.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
intro: hi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) I'm ky and hehe I decided to become more active and share my kpop brainrot thoughts with you ♡ I'm in grad school so this is something I do when I have free time-- sorry in advance if I'm not consistent lmao (ᵕ•_•)
groups: solely ggs lmao I love all women but i mainly listen to dreamcatcher, twice, aespa, itzy, NMIXX, ARTMS, le sserafim, f5ve, new jeans, bp, ive, gfriend, baby monster etc (i just listed all the groups from my playlist lolz)
My dm's/asks are always open! I'd love to be friends and mutuals with you!
oooh ok this is so sappy but i can never get enough of pieces like this: how/when they first realized that they're in love with you, and how they react to that realization ft. tighnari, wanderer, xiao, and/or venti please? as fluffy or angsty as you want, thank you so much!
; This is an adorable request, thank you! I'm a bit rusty from the break, but I hope this is okay.
; 6/16/23
; CW: none tbh, wanderer and xiao struggle with feelings
; Fluff
𝗧𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶 '𝗩𝗲𝗿𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿'
✧ Tighnari is extremely in tune with himself: this includes his feelings, his body, and his thoughts. And yet, he finds that around you, everything gets mixed up into one big puddle of goo. Whenever you weren’t watching, his observant eyes were trained on you. He’d analyze you like a foreign species of plant, trying to pick apart what about you made his heart pound in his ears, what made him stutter and blush like a lovesick teenager, what caused the ache in his chest whenever you weren’t nearby. He’s considered the thought of having a crush on you, but each time, he’d simply brush it off as a hormone imbalance or try to rationalize it as a perfectly normal reaction.
✧ Realizing his love for you felt like a double take. “Oh.” and then “Oh.” It’s a split second that changes his entire perspective, and it hits him in the most random of times. He could be pressing flowers and then smile at the realization that those were your favorite flowers. Or maybe he’s jotting down notes and finds himself writing a few letters the same way you do. It could even be something as small as looking up at the sky and wondering if you saw the same shape in the clouds that he did.
✧ Once he realizes he’s in love with you, everything makes sense. The puddle of goo slowly melts away and everything feels okay again, and the clarity of everything hits him like a truck. He needs to say something. Tighnari is a man of action. He thinks before he speaks, but he speaks before you can think. He’d take a moment to think about what he would say, but then he’s standing right in front of you with rosy cheeks and a determined look on his face. And then finally, he’d say those three special words to you--
- ✧ -
“You’re a pain.” Tighnari couldn’t help but sigh as he crossed his arms, looking at you up and down with a tired expression. Yet, a faint smile tugged at his lips as he watched you struggle with a particularly invasive type of vine. You’re tangled in it like a bug in a spiderweb, a defeated look on your face as you hang limply from the vines.
You groan, crossing your arms as you glare at him. The sight of him looking at you so smugly made you want to slap him...and kiss him. Maybe not in that order though. “I am no such thing! I’m just-- ugh…” The vines dug into your skin as they held you by your ankle, and you sighed before reaching out to him. His fluffy ears twitched with delight at the way you pouted so adorably, and he swiftly used an arrow to cut the vine, catching you when you fell. However, he clearly didn't think this through. As he held you, watching your expression shift from relief to shock to a mixture of embarrassment and bashfulness, his own eyes widened and a warm blush spread over his cheeks, his fluffy ears twitching when his tan skin continued to redden.
Oh.
Oh.
Tighnari was dead silent when he put you down, and he briskly turned around before starting to walk away. “Wait! Don’t just leave me here!” You sighed, starting to swiftly follow him, doing your best to ignore the way your heart pounded. The walk back was painfully awkward, your attempts at conversation followed by dry responses if a response at all. And eventually, you had enough! The way he refused to meet your gaze, how his hands clenched at his sides just to make sure they didn’t touch yours, he was avoiding you like the plague despite being right beside you. And so, you pivoted on your heel until you stood right before him.
“Okay, what’s with you? Ever since the vine thing, you’re acting like I did something wrong! Did…did I do something wrong?” Your confused and hurt expression made his heart ache, and Tighnari couldn’t help but shake his head fervently-- the way his ears bounced with each movement would have been adorable had it not been for the hurt you felt. Tighnari’s cheeks blushed a soft red, his multicolored eyes trained on you in a serious manner. It looked like he was about to scold you, with his serious frown and crossed arms, so you mentally prepared yourself for yet another lecture.
“No, you’ve done nothing wrong. Well, getting tangled in the vines was rather stupid,” You bit the inside of your cheek, resisting the urge to say it wasn’t your fault, but he continued regardless. “But, I’m grateful you did. Had it not been for your adorably clumsy nature, I would not have had the chance to catch you in my arms.” As your eyes widened, a small smirk tugged at his lips and he took a step towards you. “And if I hadn’t held you so close, I don’t think I would have realized this just yet.” Tighnari seemed to trail off on this annoying cliffhanger, and you sighed before looking up at him.
“...Realized what?” As if he’d been waiting for you to ask, he leaned close- close enough that his hair tickled your nose and his lips brushed against your ear as he whispered:
“That I love you.”
𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗿 '𝗞𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗸𝘂𝘇𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶'
✧ It took him ages to realize he loved you. No seriously, it would take years. Some part of him knew you were special, but he could never figure out why. Was it the way your smile made him anxious? Or perhaps the way your voice made his face heat up with rage? Maybe it was the way every little thing reminded him of you, like an annoying bug that wouldn’t go away. Yet, he found that none of these things were actually…bad. He loved your smile, the way it made his robotic heart race. He adored your voice, the way it made him blush so heavily. And he absolutely loved the way everything reminded him of you, like some part of you was always with him. It took him a while to realize he did actually like you, and not hate you. And then after that, it took even longer to realize he loved you.
✧ Realizing he was in love with you felt like a nightmare. It was a panic, a moment of weakness. Him? Love? Please, what a sick joke. Yet…after the panic subsided, he found his heart reaching out to you who he adored so dearly. You would understand, wouldn’t you? Surely you, who had the patience of a mother, would understand his pathetic feelings? Or would you turn him away, and leave him behind? He’d spend days agonizing over the what if’s though he tried not to. He was too prideful to admit someone like you could reduce him to a total mess. The amount of questions circling his brain only served to make him angrier, and he swallowed back his fears for just long enough to shout a very upset sounding “I THINK I LOVE YOU.” Honestly, it almost sounded like he was cursing at you.
✧ In summary, Wanderer is an emotional mess. His hundreds of years alive have been dedicated to anything but his feelings. He was destined for something greater than human emotions in his mind. However, when he sees the way your face shifts from shock to a relieved happiness, he realized maybe this was his destiny all along. Maybe loving you, who made him feel like a puddle of goo, was the divine purpose he was meant for all along.
- ✧ -
A chill ran down your spine for the fifth time in the past few minutes, and your eyes awkwardly shifted to the ground. He has been staring at you for a creepy amount of time, but it wasn’t his usual glare- and somehow, that only serves to make you more nervous. You gulped thickly, drumming your fingers over your arm before your head snapped to him, and you raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, what is it?” In response, Wanderer simply shrugged. Gods, he could be so infuriating. You could feel your eyebrow twitch as you gritted your teeth, resting a hand on your hip. “I see, so you’ve been staring at me for five minutes just for fun?” Once again, he shrugged. The faintest shade of red dusted the tips of his ears, and his hands limply rested in the pockets of his shorts. You could see the way he turned his head, hiding it behind his intricately-detailed hat. The sight of his blushed ears made your eyes narrow, and you reached out to grab his wrist- causing him to let out a curse. Finally, a reaction!
Wanderer looked down at your hand on his wrist, and then back up at you. And then down to his wrist before he tugged his hand away. Though, he found that he quickly missed the feeling of your soft hand warming his cold skin. The way his hand subconsciously reached out to hold yours once more made him scoff and he shoved his hand back in his pocket, quickly looking away. “What’s the big idea, huh?!” His indigo eyes crinkled when he snarled, but a certain glitter swirled within them that made you smile knowingly. Wanderer leaned forward, flicking your forehead when you didn’t respond. He did this a lot, and always smiled at the way you yelped and/or pouted. But this time, his smile wasn’t mocking or amused, but oddly…endearing?
“You won’t respond!! Come on, we both know something’s up.” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms- and you didn’t miss the way he mirrored your expression.
He sighed, shaking his head before looking up at you. “You really wanna know? Really?” His arms crossed as his hat cast a shadow over his face, but even through the dark, you could see a blush starting to coat his pale cheeks. When you nodded, he sighed again, leaning close to you. “You’re making my head do weird shit and I don’t like it one bit.” Your confused expression made him groan as he tried to explain further. “Come on, don’t play stupid!! I keep having these…gross and cheesy thoughts about you whenever you get close. And the way you smile…I think makes me happy. When I see your hand, I want to hold it…” The more he spoke, the more a gentle smile started to consume his scowl before he snapped out of it, growling in frustration before grabbing your shoulders. “S-So what’re you doing to me, huh?! What, are you some kind of witch? Do you enjoy making me feel this weird?!”
The more you processed his words, the more you smiled. Slowly, your head tilted to the side and you laughed, shaking your head when his blush only worsened. “Wanderer…do you lik--” He quickly slapped a hand over your mouth, squeezing his eyes shut before shouting-
“I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, OKAY?!”
𝗫𝗶𝗮𝗼 '𝗔𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀'
✧ Realizing his love for you felt like a insult. He figured that his romantic feelings towards you were just…a glitch in the matrix. There was something about you that made his heart do backflips, and he did not like it. And so, he avoided you like the plague. But, distance makes the heart grow fonder. With each moment that passed without you beside him, he only felt lonelier. Even despite his eons of solitude, a mere moment without you felt like another thousand years. And so, one lonely night, you call out his name. And there he is, red faced and wide eyed, standing before your teary eyes.
✧ He didn’t want to admit he was in love with you. Could he, The Conqueror of Demons, feel something as human as…love? And so, the mere thought of falling in love with you felt almost insulting to him. It was a shock, something that almost angered him. He shouldn’t feel these things! But…if it wasn’t meant to be, then why does he like it? Why does he love the way his face heats up when you smile up at him? Why does he love the way you make him blush and laugh like a fool? Why does he love the way he loves you? Ultimately, he decides these questions are futile. Slowly, his feeling of betrayal and offense morphed into a feeling of fondness. And even slower, he’d finally listen to the cries of his aching heart.
✧ He didn’t want to tell you at first. But, after the realization of his feelings, he just couldn’t wait! He felt like an impatient child, shifting on his feet and biting his cheek. But, when you rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he knew it would all be okay. And so, as you gave him the sweetest smile he’s ever seen, he understood his feelings for the first time. For Xiao, falling in love with you felt like a rollercoaster. But…loving you felt like heaven.
- ✧ -
You’ve never seen him so anxious before. It was oddly unsettling, to be honest. Watching him shift his gaze every few seconds like a guilty child, the way his fingers fiddled with the material of his pants, even his scowl looked more like a nervous frown. Slowly, you set your pencil down, looking up at him with a concerned gaze from where you watched him pace around the inn. “Xiao…are you oka-”
“-YES.”
You deadpanned for a moment, wanting to be amused at his immediate answer that contradicted his expression of pure nerves. Instead, you were only more anxious. Slowly, your hands pushed against the table to prop you up and your shoes glided over the wooden floor before you were an arm’s length away from him. Xiao sighed slowly, resting his hands on the sill of the balcony with his head tilted away from you. This is a common occurrence for the both of you. Standing on the balcony, resting on it while watching the sun set. It was calming for both of you, but also made it much easier to discuss feelings neither of you liked. Past memories, traumas, bad days, any and all of it. But this…this was different.
“...No, I’m not.” Ah, there it is. Xiao’s eyes averted from yours, trained on the sky above the both of you as his hands gripped at the wooden sill. Patiently, you watched him, awaiting his next words. He was tense, and in all the time you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him this…afraid. Slowly, his head tilts to meet your gaze. His eyes were wide, glimmering in the fading sunlight while his pale skin carried a rosy blush that reached all the way to his elven ears.
You smiled gently, reaching over to pat his shoulder- he still tensed, but it was nothing like before. He wasn’t one to let people touch him. Not even you, not at first. He would flinch, shove your hand away, and move from you- always the same actions in different orders. But, over time, he started to relax under your touch. This time was no different as he let out a small sigh.
“There’s something bothering me.” Xiao spoke slowly, his voice gruff and low but also hesitant. “I feel…weird around you. I’ve heard of these feelings in those stories told by Liyuen romantics, how one’s heart flutters around those they…love. But I’m not capable of that.” He continued on this spiel, and your eyes widened at the way he indirectly confessed to you. But, even as a wobbly smile overtook your lips, you remained quiet. “I’m a Yaksha, an adepti, I-I can’t feel something like this. And yet, I am. I am, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”
Xiao groaned, raking a hand through his hair before he turned to you, a small smile on his lips when you rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. You hummed softly, scooting closer before resting a head on his shoulder. “I feel the same way, Xiao. You may be an adeptus, but you still experience human emotions. Feelings confuse all of us, even adepti like you and humans like me. But, there’s no need to be afraid of them.” Your voice is nearly a whisper, letting your eyes flutter shut as his hand shakily reaches over to hold yours. He sucks in a quick breath, letting out a slow exhale before whispering:
I was wondering if you could do diluc and scara and maybe heizou since he's friend died its up to you ofc! having a nightmare about their past and the reader comforts them! (Just wanna comofrt these boys smm) thank you!!
; I'm sorry this took so long, but I hope it's worth it!
; 4/2/23
; CW: Lots of physical touch, backstory mentions for all characters, heizou's is kinda bittersweet
; Reverse Comfort, Fluff
𝗗𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗰 𝗥𝗮𝗴𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗿
✧ It’s rare that Diluc sleeps peacefully. Seeing as he normally rests at ungodly times of the morning and seldom falls into a deep sleep, he tries to get enough sleep to keep him going without the nightmares that replay in his head throughout the day. However, there’s only so much he can do before he trips and his past catches up to him again. This specific nightmare is one he’s familiar with, to the point that he has every little detail memorized and can always predict what comes after. Yet, it frightens him all the same. He sees his father's brilliant scarlet eyes that dull so rapidly, watching the bright red leak from his eyes and body. He sees his brother’s crystalline blue eyes, so full of fear and sorrow. He sees rain that falls from the sky and drips from his cheeks to the muddied grass. He sees his own reflection in a nearby puddle: He’s younger now, hair tied much higher with eyes brighter and eager to please, but they’re filled with tears and anger.
✧ He’s a fairly deep sleeper, unluckily for you. You try to wake him up lightly so as to not startle him but as you watch his face scrunch in pain and knuckles lighten from his grip on the sheets, you start shaking him like one of his signature cocktails. He wakes with a start, eyes wide and fearful as he stares through you rather than at you. It takes a while to bring him back to earth. He’s not angry, nor does he cry. He just….stares. Eyes hazy and unfocused as his body lies still where he sits. It’s as if he’s a statue, unmoving and silent. The first time he did this, it scared the hell out of you. Now though, you sit beside him and let him come to himself in his own time. Slowly, you reach for his hand to hold it. If this goes on too long, you start humming your favorite songs and tracing shapes along his scarred hands and arms.
✧ Diluc’s preferred source of comfort is physical touch, surprisingly. Words are nice, but he’s been told far too many that meant nothing. So he instead loves when you talk through your hands. When you rub circles into his back, fingers lingering over the scars you’ve kissed. When your trace hearts over his arms and shoulders, massaging them lightly while you mentally chide him for working so hard. He finds solace in how earnestly you touch him, as if tracing the most delicate of porcelain. He’s in love with how focused you are on tracing his skin like connect the dots, from freckles to sunspots to scars to random dips of skin to anywhere your eyes linger. He especially loves when you wipe the stray tears from his face, gentle eyes staring into his tired ones. He can’t help but lean into your palm, smiling so softly you nearly missed it. And slowly, comfortably, does he fall back asleep.
- ✧ -
Of all the things to wake up to, the burning stare of two wide, reddened eyes staring back at you was not what you expected. You gasped shortly, before leaning back to get a full look of whatever it was you just witnessed. Your lover, your dear Diluc, was a mess. And it was frightening just how silent he was. He half hovered, half rested over his pillow- every inch of his body tense and rigid as a statue. His eyes, transfixed in fear, stared at nothing in particular. But most heartbreaking was the streaks of tears that dripped down from those sad eyes to the pillow below him. You sighed, sitting up fully and gently grabbing his hands in an attempt to guide him into a more comfortable position.
“Same nightmare as always, I’m assuming.” Your voice was quiet, solemn almost. Your hands were delicate when they traced over his, and you wiped at his cheeks with your thumbs. He made no effort to speak, nor did his eyes speak for him. God it was frightening to see him this lifeless, as if he’d been possessed. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long, I was asleep,” You paused your sentiment to brush some stray, wild hair away from his face. “I was dreaming of us actually, at the windblume festival. It’s still really early, but I’m excited to go today.” As you mused more and more about your dream, about how excited you were to dance with him amidst the city and pick flowers for him, he seemed to relax a bit more.
“Mm…” He started to nod along with your words, blinking for the first time in several minutes. His lips curled into a small scowl, and life slowly returned to his face. He still remained silent and still, but now at least he was with you. “Yes, yes, I know you’ll have to leave early to take care of the tavern. I’m sure it gets busy around this time of year.” A small huff escaped his lips, the closest you’d get to a laugh, and you smiled widely. “I hope you’re feeling a bit better now, my love.” You felt his pinky twitch against your hand, interlocking with yours and you rested his head against your chest with your head resting atop his.
“I’m happy to hear it.” Blowing a tuft of scarlet hair away from your face, still loosely wrapped in its protective night style, you pressed a kiss to the crown of his head and relished in the way he sleepily relaxed against you. “I’ll see you in the morning, Diluc. Sweet dreams.”
It wasn’t long before you drifted back to sleep yourself despite the uncomfortable position, but as your eyelids fluttered shut, you caught sight of the way his pinky still locked with yours and smiled ever so softly.
𝗪𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗿 '𝗞𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗸𝘂𝘇𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶'
✧ Wanderer is a vessel. He compares himself to a puppet but really, he’s most similar to a bottle. One sealed shut that contains a murky liquid full of dark mud and slime. It looks ready to burst, the glass expanded and the cap barely holding on. Wanderer is a bottle, one that contains memories he wishes to forget and trauma he’ll never forget. He was never taught how to express his pains despite having so many of them, and instead bottles things up until they explode in the form of meltdowns, rage, violence, and even crying to the point of not being able to taste or smell for hours. This is rare though, usually he finds these things to be pathetic and opts to keep things locked within the heart he wishes he had.
✧ Nightmares aren’t new to him. He’s slept through many nights that leave him with tear stains on his cheeks and his eyes reddened from the buried pain that shows through when he’s most vulnerable. This is why he prefers to sleep alone. After convincing himself being caught crying in his sleep was the reason for his abandonment, he’s never let anyone see him show weakness like that again. He’ll sleep on the couch or anywhere you can’t see him- but you catch him one night. His usually blank face is scrunched up and pained, the moonlight reflecting off glittery tears that streak down his skin. You watch his hands shake as he mumbles soft pleas and curses through bitten lips.
✧ You comfort him while he sleeps, knowing full well he doesn’t even want you seeing him like this yet. Not that it offends you, something he’s extremely grateful for. You mumble sweet words in his ear, wiping his tears gently so as to not wake him. You take his trembling hands in yours, sweeping your fingers along his knuckles. You stay like this for gods knows how long, your knees have begun to ache and sleep pulls at your eyelids. But, as his fingers twitch and then curl around your own, you realize it was worth it. He still weeps, but he smiles as he does. And slowly do you drift off with your head rested against the couch, and his hand in yours.
- ✧ -
Living in the peaceful city of Sumeru usually means nights of tranquility and quiet dreams, with only the sound of the wind to disturb you occasionally. However, you found yourself harshly awoken by a crash downstairs. At first, you shrugged it off. ‘Maybe it was the cat.’ Was your first thought, your eyelids slowly fluttered shut only to be practically ripped open at the realization--
“We don’t own a cat.”
Rushing down the steps, you found yourself walking ever quieter so as to not disturb your lover who always slept on the couch. It was strange, you’d admit, but you respected it. The way he looked at you when he feebly requested to sleep on the couch reminded you of a kicked puppy, ashamed and nervous before you. And so, you let it slide. Sleeping in a cold bed as you cuddled a pillow rather than your boyfriend, but it was worth it to see him in the mornings. However, as you stare at him laying face down on the floor beside the couch he called his bed, you begin to understand his hesitation.
He’s still asleep, miraculously. But his skin, ever pale and cold, collects tears on his cheeks like morning dew on petals and leaves. You kneel down slowly, watching as his hands grip the blanket that now half lay over his curled up body. Small mumbles escape his lips, though incomprehensible you made out small pleas and curses-- curses mostly. His face is scrunched up in a mixture of pain and confusion, almost betrayal- and the way his hands guard his body even in slumber breaks your heart. You gently brush a hand over his hair that clings to the sweat on his forehead. “I’m sorry I never noticed.” He stiffens, eyes scrunching at the touch and he sniffles. Rather than lifting him back onto the couch, you opt to simply take his pillow and tuck it back beneath his head.
There’s plenty to talk about, but it can wait till the morning. You carefully move his arm, which quivers under your hold, and move it out to the side. “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Despite not knowing if he can hear it, you whisper kind words into his ear while resting your head atop his arm. Your eyes feel heavy, but his burden feels lighter and that’s all that matters to you. Though, as you drift off, you notice his hand move to your cheek, where he brushes his knuckles over your skin so lightly you barely notice.
And then, as you turn over to look at him, you notice the faintest smile on those trembling lips.
𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗛𝗲𝗶𝘇𝗼𝘂
✧ Heizou isn’t someone people suspect to be so…sad. They see his suave jokes, the glimmer in his eye when his suspicions prove correct, or the way his shoulders slump and lip juts out when the trail goes cold. They see a troublemaker, someone rowdy and annoying. Even his own brother sees a nuisance. Truthfully, you did as well at one point. When he picked up a piece of trash you accidentally dropped and then chided you on the “dangers of littering.” Though while being witty and fun is something he enjoys, a good chunk of it is a front. A detective is excellent at uncovering lies, but he’s also good at creating them.
✧ You know about his past, about his friend, but it never seemed to bother him as much as it really did. Heizou was a man angry at the world. He was the forefront of protests and the face of right vs wrong, he wasn’t afraid to scream and shout and the world that cursed the people that loved it. However, someone as bold and brash as this becomes overwhelmed. Sometimes the crushing realization that he can’t fix everything becomes too much. When he rests, he sees only the dagger through his friend's heart. He sees the fates of others just like his friend, people who were wronged as a result of pride and greed. One example of this was after a nightmare became too much, and he practically shot out of bed with eyes wide and hands clammy.
✧ You comfort him through words at first, something he’s very good at. But you soon realize because he’s overwhelmed and exhausted, he’s overanalyzing everything you say. Looking for hidden meanings and things to distrust. With a small, saddened sigh, you simply rest his head on your shoulder and then does he break. He gripes about how tired he is, how hard he works sometimes just to realize the world is still the same as before. And you listen earnestly, resting your cheek atop his head while rubbing circles into his back. At some point, you feel him weakly smile against your shoulder. He’s still sleepy, you note, and a breathy whisper catches your ear as he drifts off:
- ✧ -
“It really is you and me against the world.” He mutters, and you look up from where you were
”But we'll never be enough.”
Those barely audible words roll around your head like marbles, your eyes drifting off into the dark ceiling above you as your hand runs through magenta locks of hair. Just moments ago, that same hair was brushing against your nose as he cried against your shoulder. As your shoulder moves against your shirt, you can feel his tears still sticking to your skin, and you frown at the memory of those lovely eyes so sad as they looked up at you. Asking you why, why the world hated people so. And gods, you wish you had an answer. “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” You wanted to deny it, but truly, nothing anyone did would matter in the end. However, you reassured him:
“It’s enough for me. And,” You brush a few strands of messy hair away from his face, “All the other people who you helped thought the same too. They may not remember you in the future, but in that moment? You made things so much better. Or even just a bit better.” He scoffed lightly, but you saw a hint of a smile tug at his lips that wobbled with every breath. Heizou sighed and flopped limply against your chest, to which you let out a breathless laugh. His hand found yours, and his thumb caressed your skin sweetly.
“You could’ve stopped with the first sentence, y’know.” He grinned mischievously, though it looked rather foolish seeing as he was about to burst into tears again. “Knowing I’m enough for you means a lot.” A sharp breath, a shaky exhale, and one heavy sniff later, he looked back up at you. “But why can’t we be enough for everyone else? No matter what I do, no matter what you do, there will always be more problems than solutions.” With every word that escaped the confines of his rapidly closing throat, he spoke faster. And faster. And faster, and faster, and fastandfasteranfast--
“HEIZOU!” He jolted, wide awake at your completely bewildered expression. “I have no clue what you’re saying, love, slow down.” Your hand found his cheek, and you guided him through a few slower breaths. He sighed, suddenly quiet in your arms. Tears dripped from tired eyes to welcoming arms and he cried freely where he felt safe to do so.
“I’m just tired.” And it showed. In the eyebags that grew dark enough to mask his moles, in the way he spaced out more than he spoke, in the way he poured salt in his coffee instead of sugar and then forgot to clean up when he spit it everywhere. You let out a quiet ‘I know, love.’, and your free hand moved to his hair where it stayed from then, to now. To now, where he rested peacefully on your chest. To now, where his hand still refused to let go of yours.
To now, where you were left wondering if he could fix the world in his dreams, because here?