synopsis: a collection of the firsts you have with Aeri <3
cw: it's purely fluff until the end and it's a bit... steamy hehe, fingering, brat! aeri, begging, finger sucking, nipple play, tension(?), if theres anything else please lmk!
word count: 6.5k
notes! hi my loves I hope you enjoy this! It's (lowkey) a continuation of Project: Aeri but I guess you don't have to read it for this to make sense... but you should! It's my first time ever writing smut so pls be kind hehe
lmk how you feel about this if you'd like and if you wanna chat my dms/asks are always open!
ps. the pics are supposed to be from each first hehehe and also also also did anyone catch the 3 sunflowers meaning?? :0
xoxo love youuu
also s/o to my BAE @wintersera thank you for the ideas for the smut (;
First dateÂ
After everything that had happened that night, you two remained in touch and saw each other quite often. The tension between you was clear, lingering in every glance, every playful tease. There was an unspoken fact but both of you had been too nervous to make the first move.
Until now.
After weeks of mutual pining, you finally decided it was time to take the initiative. You couldnât wait any longerâyou wanted her to be yours, officially (of course).
With slightly shaky hands, you clicked on her contact and pressed the call option, your heart racing as you held the phone to your earâ which was new because calling wasnât foreign for you two.
âUh, hello?â Aeriâs sweet voice rang through the line, smooth and familiar.
You cleared your throat, trying to keep your nerves in check. âHey Aeri, you busy tonight? I, uh... wanted to ask you somethingâ
There was a playful pause on the other end before she giggled. âHmm... depends. Whatâs up?â
Your heart raced. âI wanna take you out on a date,â you blurted, a little more direct than you intended.
âDid you call me just to ask me on a date?â she laughed, her voice teasing, followed by a playful sigh. âHow old are you, 80?â she teased, obviously enjoying your nervousness.
You rolled your eyes, trying to stay composed despite your pounding heart. âOh, whatever! Do you want to go on a date or not, Uchinaga?â
âHmm...â she drew out the sound, clearly toying with you, her tone mischievous. âLet me check my schedule. I might be able to pencil you in...â She trailed off for a moment, and you could practically hear the smirk in her voice.
You couldnât help but grin, even though she couldnât see it. âYouâre such a tease.â
After a brief pause, she broke the silence with a laugh. âYes! I can, is there like a dress code for this date?â
Your smile widened, the weight in your chest releasing slightly.
âHmm. just something casual and comfy,â you replied, already mentally planning out the evening. âIâll pick you up at 6?â
âNot even gonna tell me where weâre going?â she asked, her voice curious.
âNope!â you said with a teasing grin. âItâs a surpriseâ
She let out a dramatic sigh. âFine fine~, I guess Iâll trust youâ
With a satisfied sigh, you hung up the phone and immediately began scrambling around your apartment. You grabbed extra pillows and blankets, carefully folding them and setting them aside. Then, you packed your laptop and collected an assortment of snacks and sodas, wanting everything to be perfect for your date.
You made your way down the staircase to the parking lot where your car sat. You pushed down the back seats of your crossover SUV, trying to make the space into a makeshift bed. You arranged the pillows and blankets neatly, trying your best to make it perfect. After placing the snacks and laptop down by one of the pillows, you felt a huge wave of excitement hit you.
Todayâs the day
When everything was set, you hopped into your car, but as you started driving, a thought hit youâsomething was missing. A date wasnât complete without a little something extra. Smiling to yourself, you made a quick detour to a nearby flower shop, quickly browsing through the fresh bouquets. After a few moments of searching, your eyes landed on the three sunflowersâvibrant, bold, and full of warmth, just like Aeri.
With the small bunch carefully placed on the passenger seat, you felt a surge of excitement. You couldnât wait to see her reaction.
Finally, you arrived at Aeriâs apartment, your nerves kicking in again as you approached. You quickly texted her a simple, Iâm here, before grabbing the sunflowers beside you. But the moment you saw her stepping out of her building, all those nerves melted away.
Dressed in casual sweats and a simple tank top paired with a black jacket, Aeri still managed to take your breath away. Her casual look only made her more radiant, and for a moment, you were speechless.
You hopped out of the car, sunflowers in hand, quickly making your way around to open the door for her.
Her eyes lit up when she spotted the small bouquet. âAre these for me? Howâd you know they were my favourite?â she asked, her voice light with surprise.
âOf course they are,â you said, smiling shyly as you handed her the sunflowers. âAnd honestly I didnât, they just reminded me of youâ
Aeri grinned, holding the bouquet close and inhaling their sweet fragrance. âYouâre too sweet, Y/N, and a little cheesyâ she teased, her eyes sparkling.
âYou look beautiful, by the wayâ you added ignoring her stupid little comment, your voice coming out softer than expected as you took her in.
She flashed a grin, her eyes twinkling with amusement. âThanks, you donât look too bad yourself, L/N,â she teased with a playful wink before stepping into the car, making you smile and roll your eyes.
Once you started driving, Aeri glanced over at you, interrupting the light music you had on, âSoo~ can I know where weâre going now, or are you just planning to kidnap me?â She chuckled.
âDamn. You caught me,â you teased back. âBut if you keep talking, I might just reconsider and drop you back off.â
âHey!â she laughed, lightly hitting your arm, and soon both of you were laughing.
âOkay, okay,â you said, not taking long to give in. âIâm taking you to this spot I used to go to when I wanted to relax or reflect on shit or whatever. Itâs a pretty special place for me, and I wanted to share it with you⊠I even set up a little car picnic in the back.â Nervously rubbing the back of your neck before motioning towards the back seat
Aeriâs eyes lit up as she glanced behind her at the pillows and blankets youâd carefully arranged. âY/N! Thatâs sooo cute!â she squealed, her excitement contagious as she reached over and gently rubbed your arm. âThank you,â she added softly
âYeah- Of course, Aeri,â you responded, your heart swelling at the way she looked at you
When you arrived, the sky was a breathtaking canvas of pinks and oranges, the sun slowly dipping below the horizon. You both made your way to the trunk of your car and you quickly connected your laptop to your hotspot while searching for a movie.
âAnd weâre watching a movie? Youâre seriously the best,â Aeri said, her eyes lighting up as she took in the scene.
âNot just any movie... Deadpool!â you said with a grin, you remembered how it was her favorite movie.
âNo way! Now youâre just spoiling me, n/n,â Aeri said, her cheeks dusted with a faint blush.
âWell yeah, nothing less for you Aeri,â you responded, feeling a little shy under her gaze.
The two of you settled into the makeshift bed, propped up against the pillows. Aeriâs head naturally found its place on your shoulder, and as much as you tried to focus on the movie, her familiar sweet scent made it impossible. You could feel her warmth, the weight of her resting against you, and your heart raced despite your best efforts to stay calm.
After a while, Aeri shifted slightly. âCan you lay down? My neck is hurting,âÂ
You blinked at her, not quite processing what she meant at first.
âHm?â
â...So I can lay on you?â she clarified, her eyebrows furrowing with a smile
âOhâ duh, yeah, of course,â you stammered, feeling your face heat up. You shifted around, carefully placing one arm behind your head and the other around her, pulling her in slowly. She nestled into the crook of your arm like she belonged there, her body fitting perfectly against yours.
The top of her head rested under your chin, her warmth enveloping you, and everything about the moment felt just rightâlike it was meant to be.
âYour heart is beating so fast,â Aeri pointed out, still focused on the screen that was on your lap.
âMm,â you mumbled, trying to play it cool and dismiss it, even though your stupid racing heart was betraying you.
A few moments later, Aeri commented again, her voice light with amusement. âLike, itâs really fast. I can barely hear the movie,â she giggled, propping herself up on one elbow. Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she looked at you. âWhatâs going on? Am I making you nervous or somethingg~?â
She raised an eyebrow, locking her gaze with yours, and suddenly, you were at a loss for words. The movie continued playing in the background, but you could hardly hear it over the pounding of your heart. You were completely lost in her eyes, your breath catching in your throat.
Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out. âWill you.. be my girlfriend?â you finally managed to say, your voice soft, almost a whisper.
Her eyes widened in surprise before softening, something shy and tender was in her expression as she stared at you. For a moment, the playful air between you shifted.. To something serious.
âIs that.. Is that what you really want?â she asked, her voice sincere. There was a flicker of something in her eyesâuncertainty? nervousness?âbut it was quickly replaced by warmth.
âWell.. yeahâŠâ you replied, your heart still pounding, feeling more vulnerable than you ever had before.
Aeriâs lips twitched into a smirk, her tone deadpan. âThen no.â
You blinked in surprise, your jaw dropping just as she burst into a fit of laughter.
You realized you had just walked right into her joke, you groaned. âAhh~ youâre sooo mean,â you huffed, though you were fighting off a laugh of your own. âI take it back,â you added, dramatically turning your head away like a pouting child.
âNonono~ Y/n~ Wait, I was kiddingggg~â she giggled, practically pouncing on you. Her hands gently grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks between her palms.
âAsk me againnn~â she teased, her voice soft and sing-song as she planted a sweet kiss on your cheek.
Your stomach flipped, but you were determined to keep up the bit. âNope~,â you pouted again, causing her to giggle even more.
She began peppering your face with soft, feathery kisses. âAsk~ me~ again~â she sang between each word with a kiss while her laughter rang out with each peck.
âOkay, okay!â you finally surrendered, looking up at her with a tender smile. âWill you be my girlfriend?â you asked again, your voice warm and sincere.
âDuh!â Aeri squealed, she couldnât contain herself as she leaned down, closing the distance between you. Her lips met yours in a deep and longing kiss as you snaked your arm around her waist. Everything in the moment was warm and soft, brimming with excitement. You could feel her seemingly melt into you with the way her hands gently cupped your face, pulling you closer like sheâd been waiting for this moment for a long time. (You both were)
You couldnât help but smile into the kissâit felt like everything had finally fallen into place.
First I love you
Since getting together, your Friday nights through Sunday mornings were habitually spent at Aeri's apartment. This super early morning was just like the rest. The soft hues of the sunrise peeked through the small gap in her blackout curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. The light stirred both of you awake, but neither of you was quite ready to leave the warmth of the bed. Aeri shuffled lazily, her body repositioning itself into the familiar crook of your neck, her hand resting gently on your chest.
Half-awake, you instinctively wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close. Without thinking, you pressed a soft, sleepy kiss to her forehead before sinking back into the comfortable haze of sleep.
An hour (or so) had passed, though it felt like quick moments, before you began to stir again. Your movements awoke Aeri, her body shifting as her eyes fluttered open, still hazy with sleep.
âMmm,â she muttered, her eyes half-closed as she stretched one arm out lazily, her body snuggling deeper into yours.
You took the opportunity to nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her skin as she wrapped her arm around you tighter.
âHi, baby~,â you rasped, your voice still thick with sleepiness, your warm breath grazing her neck.
âGâmorning,â she replied, her voice equally soft as her hand absentmindedly stroked your hair near your temple.
âDid you sleep well?â you mumbled, your eyes still closed as your leg slid to intertwine with hers, pulling her (impossibly) closer.
âMhm..~â she hummed, her lips brushing lightly against your forehead in a sleepy kiss, which you returned with a soft kiss to her neck causing her to shutter.
For a while, the two of you lay in a comfortable silence, tangled together in a mess beneath the sheets. You could feel Aeriâs warmth against you, and the steady rhythm of her breathing lulled you back into a peaceful daze.
But then Aeri shifted again, her body stretching out as she let out a soft, tired groan.
âBaby~â she cooed sweetly, âIâm hungry.â
You felt her looking down at you, but your arms were still tightly wrapped around her waist, unwilling to let her go. âFive more minutes?â you whined, your voice muffled as you buried your face in her chest.
She giggled softly, running her fingers through your hair. âMmm... okay,â she relented, her voice filled with sweetness. She could never say no to you when you looked so adorable, all sleepy and cuddly.
Inevitably, you both fell back asleep, the soft warmth of the morning wrapping around you like a nice blanket. You werenât sure how much time had passed when you awoke again (maybe 20 minutes), but this time the bed was empty. The absence of Aeriâs warmth made you frown a little, and the quiet clattering from the kitchen telling you where sheâd gone.
Groggily, you got up, tidied the bed a bit, and slipped on your house shoes. As you made your way to the kitchen, the smell of doenjang jjigae filled the air, instantly waking you up.
âAeri~! Whatâs this?â you mumbled, your voice still heavy with sleep as you stretched, making your way toward her.
She turned toward you with a playful smirk. Dressed in nothing but an (your) oversized t-shirt and panties, she looked effortlessly gorgeous. âOh, good morning to you too,â she teased. âYour bedhead looks cute.â She ruffled your hair a bit
You grinned lazily, stepping closer to her, grabbing her hand and placing a quick kiss to it. âOh, Iâm glad. I actually styled it just for you,â you quipped before leaning down to plant a quick âgood morningâ kiss on her lips.
âOh, really?â she laughed softly, turning back to the stove as if she hadnât been affected, but you caught the slight blush dusting her cheeks.
âMmm,â was all you could manage in reply, the smell of the food and the coziness of the morning settling in. You wandered off to turn on the TV, opening up Netflix to put on a drama in the background as you tidied up the apartment that (at this point)Â felt just as much yours as hers.
As you sank into the couch, you asked, âNeed any help?â
Aeri shook her head, her attention still focused on the stove. âNope, Iâve got it! I wanted to make you breakfast today.â
You chuckled at her determination in her voice, letting her take charge, though you couldnât help but watch her out of the corner of your eye.
After a bit, Aeri groaned out an exasperated âFuck,â and you glanced up from your phone, concerned if she had hurt herself or something.
âWhatâs happened, baby?â you asked, turning your phone off and setting it aside.
âOh nothing, I was gonna make you a coffee and myself some green tea, but I just realized I ran out of ocha last week and forgot I didnât pick any up yesterday, ugh! Like I was supposed toâ she huffed, clearly disappointed.
A lightbulb appeared above your head as you were reminded âOh babe! Check in the freezer,â you said casually. âI noticed you were low a few days ago, so I stopped by the Japanese market on 5th Street and grabbed your favorite. Ahh~ My bad I totally forgot to tell youâ
âAhh see! This is why I love you! Thank you Y/n!â she said enthusiastically.
Aeri continued for a second, her hands still submerged in the water as she was washing the rice.Â
You both froze.
Moments passed as you both processed what she had just said,
A teasing smile tugged at your lips as you made your way smoothly from the couch and you leaned against the counter. âYou what me, Aeri?â
âWait no wait!â
The color rose quickly to her cheeks, turning a shade of red you werenât sure you had ever seen before. âN-nothing!â she stammered, her flustered voice almost a whisper.
You smirked, taking slow steps toward her. Flustered Aeri was a rare and delightful sight. âMhm... right.â
As she tried to focus back on washing the rice, you snuck up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist and pressing a teasing kiss to her neck. âSay it again,â you whispered against her skin, enjoying the way she tensed up slightly in response.
âOh stop~,â she whined playfully, trying to shrink down, but you werenât going to let her off the hook.
You turned off the water, spinning her around gently so she was facing you. Before she could protest, you lifted her onto the counter, stepping between her legs and placing your hands on her hips.
âI love you too, Aeri Uchinaga,â you said softly, leaning in until your lips were just inches from hers. âNow say it again.â
The kiss that followed was tender, her lips soft against yours as her arms wrapped around your neck, pulling you even closer. When you finally broke the kiss, her eyes met yours, sparkling with a mix of affection and shyness.
âI love you, Y/N L/N,â she repeated, her voice quieter but filled with sincerity.
You grinned, brushing your nose against hers playfully. âYour hands are wet, by the wayâ you teased.
âShut up, donât ruin the moment,â she laughed, wiping her soaking wet hands on the back of your shirt before pulling you back into another kiss.
First time
Finals were just around the corner, and two of your dumbass professors decided to have an exam a week before their scheduled finals.
So, itâs a week before your two exams, and two weeks before your scheduled finals, and youâre about to arrive at Aeriâs placeâto study, of course.Â
You arrive in a cutoff and sweats, your hair messily tied up, and your glasses on. Aeri couldnât help but notice how hot you looked.
You smiled as soon as you saw her. âHi, baby~,â you said, pulling her into a big hug and giving her a quick kiss. She smiled back, squeezing you tight for a second before letting go.
You made your way to your usual spotâthe one you had officially claimed months ago. Normally, the comfort of Aeriâs apartment would ease any stress lingering from your day. But today felt different. As you sat down, a heavy sigh escaped your lips, and Aeri (also) couldnât help but giggle quietly at how frazzled you looked.
Any other day, sheâd take the chance to tease you, probably throwing in a playful jab about how cute you were when stressed. But today, she sensed you werenât in the mood. Instead, Aeri focused on her own work, letting the comfortable silence between you settle in as you both fell into an easy rhythm, side by side. Despite the closeness, it felt like you were worlds apartâyour mind tangled up in studying and exams, while Aeriâs gaze drifted over to you every now and then.
Without you noticing, she snapped a few sneaky photos of you as you sat there, brow furrowed in frustration, your lip caught between your teeth in the way it always did when you were deep in concentration. Aeri smiled softly to herself, finding the sight âsooo cuteâ despite your obvious stress.
Aeri stood in the kitchen, humming softly as she worked on making a quick study break snack, her ears tuned into your rant as you sat at the table, laptop open, books spread out around you.
âI just donât fucking understand why theyâd schedule exams a week before finals week,â you huffed, fingers tapping rapidly on your keyboard, frantically searching the internet for a damn answer on your practice test. âItâs like they did this shit on purpose babe! Like they wanted me to sufferâ
Aeri chuckled softly from the kitchen. âOh yeah! I think I heard they had a meeting on âhow to make your life terribleâ â she teased, the playfulness in her voice catching your attention for just a moment.
You barely looked up from your laptop, rolling your eyes while you took your hair out of the bun and ran your fingers through your hair. You continued to vent before going back to your screen. Your eyes were back to being glued to the screen, fingers flying over the keys. âI donât fucking doubt that, god I feel like like Iâm on the brink of losing it if I donât start retaining this bullshit anytime soonâ you muttered.
Aeriâs footsteps padded softly across the kitchen as she finished garnishing the fried tteokboki, setting it down on the table where you were. âI donât know how you do it,â she said casually, her tone light. â Maybe you should take a break pretty...â
Your eyes flicked up briefly as you gave her a small, dismissive and tired smile. âI know..â you sighed âI just need to finish this andââ
âYou look really hot when youâre focused, you know?â Aeriâs voice dropped slightly, the casual playfulness gone, replaced by something a little more mischievous.
Your fingers paused mid-type, your heart skipping a beat at her comment. âW-what?â you asked, turning your head to meet her gaze.
She smiled, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyesâsomething teasing, almost daring. âAlmost makes me jealous of that assignment youâre paying so~ much attention to.â
You swallowed, her words slowly sinking in as the tension in the room shifted. âAeri,â you started, your voice hesitant, but she was already moving closer to you.
She crossed the distance between you in a stride, her fingers brushing lightly against your shoulders as she stood behind you. Her touch was feather-light, but it sent a spark through you as her breasts pressed up against you. âI just canât get over how good you look tonight,â she murmured, her breath warm against your ear. âWonder what it would take to get you to pay that kind of attention to me..â
Her fingers traced a slow line down your arms, and you felt your heart race as her hands rested lightly on your shoulders, her thumbs making small circles against your skin. The warmth of her body behind you, the casual confidence in her voiceâit was enough to make your mind go blank, the rant youâd been lost in completely forgotten.
âI... I,â you mumbled, but even you could hear how weak your nervous protest sounded.
âMm,â Aeri hummed softly, interrupting your stuttering as she leaned in, her lips grazing close to your ear. âHow âbout just a little break? For me, baby?â she murmured, her fingers brushing your hair aside before placing a lingering kiss on your neck.
The warmth of her body so close to yours made the air feel thicker and heavier. Her hands shifted ever so slightly, sending a shiver up your spine. Your fingers hovered uselessly over the keyboard, your mind entirely abandoning your exams. All you could focus on was her, commanding your attention in a way that no textbook, no deadline, no nothing ever could.
âAh~ fuck,â you sighed, leaning back into her touch, feeling the tension in your body ease. âIâm all yours,â you murmured, your voice breathy as you tilted your neck slightly, offering her more space.
âThatâs my girl..â
She took full advantage, planting soft, lingering kisses from your neck up to your jawline before finally capturing your lips. Unable to resist, you pulled her around into your lap, and she straddled you, the closeness intensifying as both of you sank deeper into the kiss. Your hands instinctively found their way to her back, pressing her closer, while her fingers trailed up to your shoulders and tangled gently in your hair.
Slowly, your hands slid down to her lower back, pausing at the curve of her hips as you pulled her closer. She broke the kiss, her forehead pressing against yours, her breath coming in with shallow and needy gasps and you breathed them in. Her eyes were glazed with desire, a smirk playing at her lips.
âI need you, Y/n,â she whispered, her voice a mix of softness and urgency.
You looked at her, equally breathless, feeling every ounce of longing she held in her gaze. âFuck~, I need you too,â you murmured in one breath before pulling her back in, your mouths meeting in a kiss that was all heat and intensity, tongues meeting halfway. Your hands roamed her back, tracing along her spine, and a shiver ran through you as her fingers grazed your skin, tugging at the hem of your shirt.
Without breaking contact, you hooked your arms under her legs, lifting her effortlessly as she wrapped her legs around your waist. You walked her down the hallway and managed to open her bedroom door with your foot, carrying her inside until her knees met the edge of the bed, where she let herself fall, pulling you down with her.
You caught yourself just before you landed, her arms still wrapped around your neck, keeping you inches from her lips. She giggled, her eyes dancing with mischief.
âStill wanna study?â she purred, her voice teasing.
âOh, shut the fuck up,â you replied, a grin tugging at your lips as you leaned down to press soft, lingering kisses along her neck.
A soft moan escaped her lips as she tilted her head to give you better access. âThatâs what I thought,â she murmured, her fingers weaving into your hair, holding you close.
âYouâre so annoying,â you muttered playfully, pressing another kiss just below her jaw. Her eyes met yours, a gleam of challenge in them.
âAnd you like it,â she whispered, pulling you impossibly closer, her fingers tracing gentle patterns down your back.
You hummed in agreement, pressing your forehead against hers again. âMhm,â you replied, voice low and filled with affection.
Your lips trailed down Aeriâs jaw, planting painfully slow kisses along her neck, each one drawing out a soft sigh from her. You could feel her hands gliding down your back.
Just as you were fully lost in her, her fingers moved lower, grazing along your inner thigh with feather-light touches that sent sparks up your spine and to your core. You let out a quiet gasp, which only made her smile even more, her eyes glinting with mischief.
She let out a teasing laugh as her fingers lingered at the inside of your thigh, not quite giving you what you wanted.
âAeriâŠâ you breathed out, the heat in your voice making her chuckle softly again.
But instead of moving her hand to where it should be, she slid it back up slowly, bringing it to rest just below your waist.
God she was teasing you
 As she did, you moved your hands up, slipping under her shirt to rest on her waist before slowly sliding higher. Your fingers found the soft curve of her perfect tits, and her breath hitched as your hands squeezed gently.
Her soft, breathy moans fueled you, and you pressed gentle kisses along her collarbone, slowly making your way to the curve of her chest, savoring the warmth of her skin beneath your lips. She arched under your touch, fingers threading through your hair, each sound she made, made you even wetter than you already were.
Letting out a soft sigh, you leaned in, brushing your lips across the peak of her soft perky nipple while using your warm breath to tease her with a smirk. Your free hand found its way to her other nipple, gently pinching it. The cadence of her breath quickened and her hips began to slowly buck as if searching for some sort of release.
 A satisfied, desire-filled grin spread across your face as you watched your girlfriend unravel, her usually sleek black hair now a tangled mess against the silk pillowcase, her brows knitted in both frustration and neediness.
Aeriâs breaths deepened as your touch sent little shivers through her, her fingers curling around your shoulders, grounding herself against you. Your lips hovered just above her perfectly hard nipple, her skin flushed with anticipation.
âPlease,â she whispered, voice barely audible. If you hadnât been watching her so closely, you probably would have missed it.
You raised an eyebrow, teasing. âWhat was that, Aeri?â
She turned her head to the side, (trying to hide as much of herself as she could into the pillow), clearly flustered and embarrassed, before whispering again, âPleaseâŠâ
Gently, you brought her chin forward, guiding her to look at you. âI canât help you, baby.. if you donât use your words. You didnât seem to have any trouble being mouthy earlier, huh?â You shot her a playful and challenging look.
Her eyes fluttered open and her cheeks flushed even deeper, and she took a breath before meeting your gaze. âPlease⊠suck on my⊠nipplesââ
âThat's my good girlâ you gave her a smug grin before averting your attention to her chest.
You (finally) insatiably wrapped your lips around her nipple which elicited a gaspy moan
âFuck..â. Aeriâs head fell back, her nails digging into your shoulders as you continued savoring each bud, your attention fully on Aeri as her gasps filled the room. You smiled against her beautiful tits, feeling the heat radiating from them. Her fingers tangled through your hair even more, making you stay as close as possible as your kisses and gentle nibbles drew more and more breathy moans from her.
Letting one hand roam lower, you found her clit, tracing slow circles with your middle finger through the thin soaked fabric of her panties. Her body responded with each touch, soft and needy sighs slipping past her lips and she began to grind on your fingers needing more than what you were allowing her. You glanced up, catching her expressionâa mixture of bliss and anticipation, her eyes half-lidded as she met your gaze with a dazed smile.
âNeed something, princess?,â you murmured with a grin and an arrogant glint in your eye, trailing more kisses along her skin, taking your time. Each new touch, every small shift in pressure, had her melting beneath you and her pussy dripping for more.
Aeri secretly loved hated this. Where did this sudden surge of confidence in you come from? Wasnât she supposed to be the one making you beg and pleading to touch her? Why did the fact that you have her completely under your control make you so fucking hot and her so turned on? UGH! The tables had turned and it was as exhilarating as it was maddening.
âN-noâŠâ she managed, her voice shaky as she bit down on her lip in frustration, fighting to regain some sense of control.
Slowly, you lifted your hand from her now-ruined underwear. âWell, I could just stop here. I mean, I do have to studyâ
Her hand moved faster than lighting, gripping your wrist firmly, threatening to leave a mark. âDonât youâŠfuckingâŠdare,â she breathed 'threateningly', guiding your hand back to her pulsing clit as her hips jutted forward trying to meet you halfway.
âOr what?â You raised an eyebrow, stopping just shy of her needy pussy, knowing you had the upper hand this time. You fucking loved seeing her like thisâHer playful bitchiness, unbreakable attitude, all crumbling away because you wouldnât fuck her like the brat she is.
Suddenly, her bratty facade wavered, and her voice softened. âPleaseâŠâ Tears threatened to spill as she whispered, arching herself toward your touch trying to find some sort of relief, her voice barely audible. âMm-Please, I need youâŠneed you to fuck me so badâŠâ She finally muttered out
You grinned, feeling the satisfaction of winning this round. âAnything you want, my pretty girl,â you said, savoring the way her eyes rolled back with need.
With a quick motion, you rid her of her drenched panties, and your finger began to trace gentle circles around her swollen clit, making her gasp. You ran your hand along her slit to wetten your finger with her juices, taking in each small reaction as her breath quickened, her voice slipping into load moans. Aeri was a complete moaning mess at this point and you havenât even finished her off yet. Her hair was splayed out and droplets of drool ran down from her chin to her collarbone as her mouth was open.
You lifted her head gently with your free hand, making her meet your gaze. Slowly, you withdrew your long finger from her wet slick, and before she could protest the missing feeling, you pressed it to her lips, your thumb brushing her chin.
 âTell me how good you taste, baby,â you cooed, holding her gaze. She drew your finger into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, ensuring every drop of herself was savored while tears spilled from the creases of her eyes while you fucked her throat with your finger.
With a soft pop, you pulled your finger back, using your thumb to brush the excess salina from her lips. âI tasteâŠso fucking good,â she whispered, breathless, before pulling you in for a kiss, sharing the taste of her with you.
Your tongues danced together as your now lubricated finger found its way back down, and you teased her entrance briefly before going deeper, making her let out a gasp against your mouth.Â
You kept a steady rhythm, her moans mixing with the sound of your movements. Her head fell back, and she guided your mouth to her neck.
Aeri let out a loud moan into your ear, pausing a bit as your digit inched deeper and deeper inside her.
Once fully inside, âYou okay?â You asked, your voice laced with genuine concern
âMhm,â she winced with pleasure âMore than okayâ
You pulled her back in for a kiss as you continued to keep pumping into her, keeping a steady pace.
The noises from her dripping wet cunt and her loud moans filled her bedroom and she gently pushed your head from her neck/mouth towards her milky white breasts
âPlease~ I need you to.. Suck on themâÂ
Well... Who were you to deny your beautiful girlfriend?
You took one of her perky nubs into your mouth, using your front teeth to slightly nibble on them, causing her to moan louder than before as you felt her tighten around your finger.
âOh~ Y/n.. please.. Please donât stop.. Iâm soâ her sentence was interrupted by another lewd moan as you finger hooked at the right angle, finding her G-spot
âFuckfuckfuck baby! P-plea~â she let out, her hand digging her nails into the back of your neck and upper back (probably) drawing blood
You pulled your mouth away from her nipple, âAre you going to be my good girl and say my name when you cum?â You said, looking up at her
You noticed she gasped in shock as her nipple suddenly lost the warmth from your mouth, brows furrowing even more
Desperately she tried to push you back on to her nipple, she was so close to her high but needed your mouth so~ badly to reach it.
âYesyes ah~ fuck baby! Iâll be your good girl and cum.. Ah~ just for youâ She used her free hand. desperately rubbing her clit
Your name felt like sweet honey as it rolled off her tongue, you couldnât help but insatiably pump faster in her. Her moans, the wet sounds from her dripping wet cunt, along with the thought of her screaming your name. You almost finished right then and there.
âOh fuck, Y/n y/n y/n,â she screamed out like some sort of mantra, âIâm gon-â
âYou gonna cum just for me?â You bit into her neck, sucking and marking her as yours while moaning right into her ear.
âYesyesyes, Iâm.. fuck~! all yours Y/n~!â she yelped, she tightened around your fingers as her juices pooled into the palm of your hand and you gently slowed down the pace to ride her high as long as possible while she cried into your neck.
After a moment, She shuttered from her high and found herself in the crook of your neck for a bit, while both of you caught your breath for a second. She winced a bit as you removed your digit from her wetness and sucked it off quickly before wrapping your arms around her.
Another moment passed and a surge of embarrassment rushed through you as you realized her neighbors most definitely knew your name now. The sole thought of that made your cheeks heat up.
Moments of silence passed of you both catching your breath, you finally calmed down and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead before wrapping your arms around her fully. She sighed contentedly, her fingers tracing light, lazy patterns on your shoulder near your back.
In the quiet that followed, with both of you still laying there, you broke the silence. âAre you okay, baby?â you asked, your voice (still) breathless but full of tenderness as you looked down at her.
She nodded, smiling softly as she nuzzled closer. âMore than okay,â she murmured, her voice laced with warmth. âAre you okay?
âYeahâ You gave her another kiss on the cheek â Iâm just.. A bit surprisedâ a sly smile crept on your lips
She looked up at you, sweat glistening off her skin while her hair stuck to her and raised a warning eyebrow as if she was thinking 'watch what you say', âmhm?â
âYa know... for as mean as you are, I never expected you to beg like thatâ you teased
âOh, you shut the fuck up!â she laughed, giving your shoulder a playful smack, which only prompted you to wrap her up in your arms as a reflexive defense.
âIâm for sure putting you in your place tonight,â she murmured, her voice low and rich with desire as she pulled you in for a deep and needy kiss.
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synopsis: you and aeri were inseparable while you were growing up. Is that connection still there?
word count: 15k (jeeez) (it could've been 3 parts but I love you all so much so here you are)
cw: angst, cussing, drinking, f reader, childhood best friends to...(?) idk if there's any i missed please lmk!
notes! So sorry if its a confusing read with the timelines and such. the italic paragraphs are flashbacks/memories! for clarification Aeri and reader are ages 12, 22, and then 30 in this. It's inspired by the movie Past Lives (one of my fav movies, I recommend it!) barely proofread again, I also tried to add extra space in between different scenes, I hope it flows okay!
This is my first angsty fic ever but I had a lot of fun writing it! I really hope you enjoy it and if you'd like to, lmk your thoughts!!
as always dms and asks are always open!
xoxo love youuu (: <3
20 years ago in Southern California, SM Elementary School
Ever since you can remember, Aeri Uchinaga has been a constant presence in your life. You first met in preschool, where she quickly took a liking to you for reasons you couldn't quite understand. As a âslow-to-warm-upâ child, you were perfectly fine with doing quiet activities on your own while your classmates ran around, chatting amongst themselves. But Aeri must have seen you as a challenge or a game, maybe? She was determined to crack the ice and see what lay beneath your quiet exterior. She would always join you at the drawing table and start rambling about a variety of things that crossed her mind or even go as far as sharing her stuffed animals with you when she saw you playing âfamilyâ alone with your own.
And before you knew it, she had you hooked. Aeri was more outspoken than you at the time, and she often took the reins in your friendship, but you were (more than) happy to follow her lead. You quickly learned that she had a habit of charging in head first, and it became your unspoken mission to keep her from getting into too much trouble.
You promised yourself that you'd always be there supporting her from behind.
You dribbled the soccer ball skillfully toward the goal, weaving through defenders with ease. Just as you were about to score, a loud yelp from the basketball court made you stop dead in your tracks. Your hesitation cost you as a player from the opposing team slid in, tackling you. Pain shot through your leg as your planted foot twisted in a way that it should NOT twist.
You got up from the ground and ignored the pain as you waved to a classmate on the sideline to take your place on the field. You limped as quickly as you could toward the court from the field, fighting back tears. The adrenaline kept you moving.
Eventually you made it to the basketball court where Aeri was.
âAre you okay?â you asked as you reached a hurt Aeri, who was hissing slightly at the sight of her skinned knee. Almost every ounce of pain washed away when you saw her.
She looked up, surprised, as your shadow blocked the sun. To her, you probably looked like an angel.
âY/n,â she sniffled, âWhere did you come from?â
âI was just playing soccer,â you replied, kneeling in front of her and offering your back. âHere, hop on. Letâs get you to the nurse.â
âMm~ okay,â Aeri shyly mumbled as she climbed onto your back, resting her chin in the crook of your neck as you hobbled toward the infirmary.
âHow did you know I was hurt?â she inquired softly.
âI dunno, my Aeri instincts must've kicked in... But you do have a pretty distinctive scream that I could hear all the way from the soccer fieldâ You chuckled
âAh~! What!? Thatâs so embarrassing!â She buried her face into your neck. âWhy did you come over? You said you were playing soccer?â
âWell yeah I was, but remember when we were five and had our first sleepover?â you asked, chuckling. âYa know, the one where you couldnât stop crying because you missed your parents, especially your mom.â
âHey! Why bring that up now?â she groaned, playfully hitting your back with her fists. âIt wasnât my choice! My parents were busy with work, okay!â
âNono~ we made a pinky promise, remember? I told you, âIâll always be here for you, no matter what.â And I vaguely remember claiming Iâd be your prince or somethin' like that.. Iâm just keeping my word.â You smiled at the memory.
âThat was like seven years agoâŠI can't believe you even remember thatâ she sighed contentedly. âWell, thank you, my prince.â she let out a teasing chuckle
âOf course, Lady Aeri,â you replied in a playful, formal tone, adjusting her higher on your back with a little hop.
There was a small break of silence before Aeri took notice of the cadence of your steps.
â...Wait, are you limping?â Her tone suddenly turned serious, like a mother about to scold her child.
âUhâŠâ You hesitated, âNoâŠ?â you chuckled nervously hoping she'd drop the topic (she didn't).
She peeked over your shoulder and saw your left ankle, red and beginning to swell.
âAh~! What happened!? Let me down, I can walk! You idiot!â she exclaimed, trying to wriggle off your back.
âNo way! Weâre almost there anyways, and all this wiggling isnât helping the pain either!â you bickered with the girl on your back before finally reaching the school entrance.
After school, your mom tended to your hurt ankle. It wasnât anything serious, just a mild sprain. You worked silently on your assignment before she spoke up.
âY/n, honey~â your mom cooed before sitting down next to you at the kitchen table while you were doing homework. âWhat do you think about Aeri? Do you like her?â
âHmm,â You hummed while placing your pencil down as memories of her flooded your mind.
One specific memory came to the forefront of your mind,
You and Aeri were laying in the lush grass together with your heads touching and holding hands.
âAeri, look!â You pointed to the sky âI see a shark.. Or maybe a really big tuna?â a playful giggle escaped your lipsÂ
âMhm~!â she agreed, âLook over there! Doesnât that look like Haku from Spirited Away?â Aeriâs eyes widened in excitement as her favorite character appeared in the sky, her finger excitedly pointingÂ
âYeah! I think it does!â You stole a glance of her.Â
Her eyes were glued to the blue sky adorned with fluffy white clouds that looked like they felt like cotton candy. The sun reflected against her dark brown hair and made it look like a beautiful dark ocean rippling in the wind
It was a cool summer day. A gentle breeze wafted her scent of strawberry shampoo and a light rose scent from her deodorant. The sky stretched over both of you like a blue canvas with puffy cotton balls. The warmth of the sunshine wrapped the two of you into an embrace only you both could feel.
 You stared at her with so much⊠happiness? While she pointed out various shapes, her face lit up more and more each time she spotted one
âWhat is this feeling?â You thought âIt feels like iâm going down a steep slope of a rollercoaster when Iâm around herâ
âHm~ Y/n? Is there something on my face? Did you hear me?â She briefly stopped her tangent when she felt a soft gaze.
âOh~! No sorry,â You giggled
âI- justâ you began barely above a whisper
âWow, look!â Aeri unknowingly cut you off âThose ones look like two hearts about to mash togetherâ she exclaimed giddily
Your gaze went back to the clouds and you paused for a few seconds causing Aeri to look at you
âWere you gonna say something?â She mumbled and you met her eyes
âIâm just.. Really happy right now!â you said, unable to verbalize the feelings you were having.
âI like herâ you replied to your mom
âOhh~âShe nodded in response before genuinely inquiring âWhy?âÂ
âWell⊠She said Iâm like her princeâ she responded to her mother so nonchalantly and innocently
âHer prince?â
âMhm, I think iâll marry her one dayâ You smiled before picking up your pencil again-- completely unphased.
âMm~ I see, I see. Well Y/n, does she want to marry you, too?âÂ
âI don't know if she likes me too, but if she does I know she'll say when weâre ready!â She smiled brightly at her momÂ
âAh okay~ When did you grow up my sweet daughter?â Your mom lightly pinched your cheek which caused you to giggle. âWell, I was on the phone with her mom earlier... Do you want to go on a date with her?"
Of course you excitedly nodded your head in agreement
You and Aeri stepped into the park, nature wrapped around you two like a comforting hug. The trees swayed gently in the breeze, their leaves left a playful pattern of light and shadows on the ground below. While birds chirped happily overhead, their songs blending with the soft rustle of leaves, creating a soothing melody that seemed to dance through the air. Both of your momâs made their way to a nearby spot to watch you bothÂ
âAeri! Letâs goâ You said as you grabbed her free handÂ
âOh~ Ma, can you hold these?â Aeri swiftly passed the small bouquet of flowers you had bought her to her mother before being whisked away by your eager pull
âOh!â was all Mrs.Uchinaga could get out before the two of you ran off exploring the park. She couldnât contain her laughter and began to take a digital camera out of her purse.
âThey look good together, so happy huh?â Your mom glanced at Mrs.Uchinaga as she was snapping a picture of the two of you running hand in hand in the luscious green field.Â
âYeah~ Aeri talks about Y/n a lot. She says she wants to marry her one dayâ Her mom let out an astonished laugh âWhen did our girls grow up?
âThatâs exactly what Y/n said! â She laughed, âWe canât be too surprised right?
"Ah~ I guess not." Aeri's mom began, "Remember that time we kept Y/n overnight once and Aeri was crying uncontrollably and then suddenly stopped? My god, it was so scary! I thought something had happened to her but when I checked the baby monitor, Y/n snuck out of her own crib and into Aeriâs! And then they fell asleep like that!â She laughed with a tinge of nostalgic sadnessÂ
âAhh~ They were about two and a half years old huh? Oh~! Remember that time I told you when I put them in charge of her brother while I was making them lunch and when I walked back into the living room and found all of them asleep on the couch with Kosei in between them! It was so cute~!â Your mom smiled brightly âI have the photo somewhere still!âÂ
Both you parents sighed contentedly, reminiscing on you two. After a bit of comfortable silence, you mom spoke up
âMy Y/n cares about Aeri a lot. I can see she does too, it puts my heart at ease to know my daughter has someone who cares so deeply about her.â Your momâs eyes began to get a bit watery
Mrs. Uchinaga placed her hand reassuringly over hers, a warm smile gracing her lips. "She's a smart girlâyou shouldnât worry too much. I'm forever grateful she's been in my Aeri's life. Look at them," she pointed affectionately at the two of you, nestled under the low-hanging branches of the weeping willow tree.
"Aeri! This is where we can take our shoes off," you exclaimed, gently parting the "curtain" of leaves as if entering a secret world.
Your imagination ran wild, the simple weeping willow tree transformed into a spacious apartment in a bustling city.
"And here is where our dining room is," Aeri chimed in, moving to the large stones and pretending they were seats. "Here, sit. Let me get you a coffee, honey," she playfully immersed herself in the game of house.
Aeri returned with a hollowed out rock with a stick in it, âHereâs your coffee!â
You pretend slurped through the stick straw, âThis is soo~ deliciousâ and you fake slurped more causing both of you to giggle
âHey, Aeriâ you placed the rock coffee cup down and Aeri joined you at the âdining tableâ
âWhere do you wanna live when you grow up?â you met her gaze
âMmm, definitely a city. I want my fashion business to be very popular!â She flashed a cheerful thumbs up âWhat about you?â
âMm..â You looked down, shyly contemplating
âAre you getting shy?!â She gently nudged your shoulder teasing you
âNono~!â You waved your hands in defense while a smile appeared on your face âHm.. I guess wherever you go?â
While you and Aeri played house, imagining your future together, your parents sat nearby on the park bench in comfortable silence, smiling as they watched the two of you. A gentle breeze drifted through, rustling the leaves and carrying the scent of blooming flowers through the air, adding to the peaceful moment.
âWeâre moving soon,â Aeriâs mom finally said, breaking the quiet. Which explained why she asked to take them on a 'date'
Your mom didnât respond right away, her gaze still on you and Aeri. After a few more beats, she spoke, doing her best to mask her emotions. âOh⊠where?â
âSouth Korea,â Aeriâs mom replied softly.
Your mom paused, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. âWhy leave everything behind?â
âThere are better opportunities ahead than the ones weâll leave behind,â Aeriâs mom answered with a quiet sigh, as if trying to convince herself as much as anyone else.
Later, on the car ride home, you and Aeri had both fallen asleep in the backseat, your hands still clasped together, oblivious to the change that was coming. Your mom glanced back at the two of you and with a bittersweet smile, she snapped a quick photo.
Neither of you knew how much your lives would change in the next few weeks.
You sat at your desk, your gaze unfocused as you stared blankly ahead, lost in a haze of thoughts that swirled around you like fog. Aeriâs voice cut through the noise, her laughter ringing out as she animatedly chatted with her friends nearby. Her vibrant energy filled the room, lighting up the space, yet somehow, it made the gap between you two feel even wider. You were in the same room, but it felt like you were worlds apartâboth of you in your own little world.
"You're leaving?" one of her friends exclaimed, disbelief in her voice.
"Yeah!" Aeri replied, her excitement unmistakable.
"Never coming back?" another girl pressed, curiosity laced her voice.
"I donât think so!" Aeri laughed, her tone light, almost carefree.
"What?! Why not!?" the girl pushed further, as if she couldnât fathom the idea.
"Well.. I could never become a fashion designer here!" Aeri giggled, like her answer was obvious⊠like she wasnât about to leave behind everything you had known together.
After school, you found yourself walking past Aeri as she waved her friends goodbye. Her cheerful farewell echoed behind you as you caught a glimpse of her. Her smile was as bright as ever, but for the first time, it felt distantâlike it no longer belonged to you.
"Oh, bye!" she called out to her friends, her voice cheerful before turning her attention to you.Â
"Wait up!" she hurried to catch up with your steps.
You slowed down slightly, but something in you hesitated.
"Oh, sorry," you murmured.
She quickly caught up and the two of you began the familiar walk home, the silence between you felt heavier than ever. Aeri seemed comfortable, at ease with the quiet, but for you, the weight in your chest grew with every step. Even though she was right beside you, it felt like she was already slipping awayâlike an invisible wall was growing between you, expanding with each moment.
It was disorienting, jarring even, to think that after today, she wouldnât be walking next to you every day like she had since kindergarten. Each footstep echoed what was coming, and despite the comfort of routine, the reality of her departure pressed down on you, suffocating the words you wanted to say but couldnât find.
The world around continued its hustle and bustle, completely indifferent to the storm brewing in your heart. Cars rushed by, bikes whizzed past, and people hurried along the sidewalk, insensitive to the internal chaos you were grappling with.
Every emotion flooded through you, leaving you drowning in a mix of sadness and anger. Each step felt trudging through quicksand as if your feet had been stuck in concrete. Your body was subconsciously pulling you away from your house to prolong your inevitable separationâ like a dog who doesnât want their walk to be over yet.
As you reached the fork in the road that diverged toward your respective houses, a heavy cloud hung above your head, thick with everything you wanted to say.
"Bye, n/n," Aeri's voice carried a tinge of melancholy as she began to walk away, her figure receding into the distance.
You paused, unable to tear your gaze away from her retreating form.
Every memory youâve shared with her played in your head like a movie montage.
âCâmon Aeri, donât be scared! Iâm right here with you!â You aggressively whispered while carrying a bag of snacks and a blanket, trying to convince Aeri onto the roof of your house
âWhat if we get in trouble? What if we get locked out and weâre stuck here forever!â Aeri said to you from inside through the opened windowÂ
âMy parents know I do this, itâs a flat surface so you have to be a real dummy to slip off! And donât worry, it only locks from the inside and if youâre scared you can just hold onto me!â You reached out your hand to Aeri
She couldn't help but smile, your own reassuring grin reflecting back at her. She warmly accepted your hand, her breath hitched when your hands made contact.
âO-oh thanks, letâs place the blanket down!â Aeri was glad it was dark because she was sure her face was the same shade as a tomato!
"Not too shabby, huh?" You chuckled lightly, settling onto the soft surface and patting the spot beside you, inviting her to join you.
It was a warm summer night. A gentle breeze wafted your scent of shampoo and a cologne-y scent from your deodorant. The sky stretched over both of you like a dark blue canvas with twinkling stars. The warmth of the evening wrapped the two of you into an embrace only you both could feel.
You felt her staring at you while you pointed out various constellations, your face lit up more and more each time you spotted one
âHm, Aeri? Did you hear me?â You briefly stopped your tangent when you felt a soft gaze on you
âOh~! No sorry,â Aeri giggled âWhat did you say?â
You scooted closer so your head was touching hers, âSee those stars over there? Itâs kinda like a weird looking 7?â You extended your arm while pointing, trying your best to point out three out of the millions of stars in the sky
âHm.. oh! Yes!â
âThatâs me! And your birthday is October 30 making you a Scorpio! and hmmâ You began to move your pointer finger to search in the sky
âAh! There! You see that pattern that kind of looks like a snake with claws?â
âYeah~ I actually do!â Aeri giggled as her imagination took over
âWell, Aeri if you ever feel sad or something and Iâm not with you for some reason â You chuckled sweetly. âI just want you to know that weâre always together in the sky!â You both turned to meet each otherâs gaze at the same timeÂ
âWell I donât think weâll ever get separated, I want to be with you forever!â She innocently beamed which caused you both to giggleÂ
âMe too Aeri!â
After a few hesitant moments, you found your voice, though it felt as if your heart might stop with the effort.
âAeri,â you called out softly, the word heavy with all the feelings you had kept buried for so long.
âMm?â She turned to face you, her expression softening when her eyes met yours, and the cheerful energy from earlier was nowhere to be found.
âI.. I like you,â you said, your voice trembling slightly, but you held her gaze, resisting the urge to look away. You felt as though you might crumble, but you forced yourself to keep going. âIâm glad we spent our childhood.. together.â
Her smile faltered, shifting into something sadder, something that you couldn't understand. She didnât respond immediately, as if the words youâd just said had stolen her breath, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. She was at a loss for words and the silence stretched endlessly between you.
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying desperately to maintain your composure. âBye⊠Aeri,â you added softly, your voice cracking ever so slightly as you turned away towards your house, trying to put on a brave face.
You couldnât bear to see the sadness in her eyes any longer. Tears threatened to spill, but you fought them back, willing yourself to hold on just a little longer.
âBye..â she faintly whispered out
The moment you started walking toward your house, your chest tightened. Tears streamed down your face as the weight of the world as you knew it came crashing down.
What you'll never know and what you couldnât see, was that Aeri began crying too.
About 10 years later, you sat at your desk in your cozy apartment room at UCLA, the late afternoon sun casting soft rays across the scattered textbooks and notes. With a sigh, you pushed some papers aside to rest your elbow on the desk, propping your chin on your hand.
âHow the actual fuck do I even solve this?â you muttered to yourself, staring at the confusing statistics problem on your laptop. After a moment of frustration, you searched for a tutorial on YouTube, hoping for a miracle.
As you scrolled through the list of videos, you could hear your roommate Yunjin bustling around in the kitchen.
âJennie-poo~!â you called out, leaning back in your chair. âCan you come here?â
A few seconds later, you heard your door creak open. "Huh?" came Yunjin's voice, her (dyed) red hair poking around the doorframe as she stepped inside.
âDo you have any idea how to solve this?â you asked, switching your browser back to the page filled with complex formulas. You pointed at the screen. âI seriously have no clue what theyâre even fucking askingâ
Yunjin leaned down, squinting at the problem for a moment before laughing. âYeah, Iâm gonna be honest with youâzero clue. Youâre so fucked,â she said, still giggling.
Yunjin, aka Jennifer, was from upstate New York, and the two of you had been roommates for four years. It felt like fate sometimesâbeing assigned to live together your freshman year was totally random, but she was practically you in a different form.
âYouâre absolutely no help,â you groaned, laughing a little despite yourself as you buried your face in your hands.
âYouâre so welcome,â she said, patting your head playfully. âIâm gonna make some jjajangmyeon, do you want any?â
âNot right now. Maybe save some for me later? I gotta finish this shitâ you replied, sitting back up and stretching.
âYeah, of course. Good luck!â Yunjin said with a wink as she left your room.
You sighed deeply as you turned back to your YouTube tab, clicking on a video tutorial. As fucking expected, an ad began to playâone of those painfully long ones you couldnât skip.
âDo you want to be a model? Do you think you have what it takes?â
The words faded into the background as your mind started to wander, pulled back by an unexpected memory.
Aeri.
It had been so long since youâd allowed yourself to think about her. Years, even. But something about the mention of fashion, pulled you back into the past. The past where she lived, where her dreams had once shone so brightly.
Aeri had always talked about becoming a fashion designerâabout where she'd live and make a name for herself. You could still picture her so clearly, sitting beside you, messily sketching her ideas in her notebooks. Dresses, bags, runway looks⊠She used to tell you all about it, her eyes lighting up with excitement.
âI could never become a designer here,â sheâd said once, laughing. She was always so sure of her path. Always ready to go after her dreams, no matter the cost.
She may have been right
Suddenly, the thought of her became overwhelming. You couldnât help but wonder what had become of that dream. Did she make it? Was she in South Korea, living the life sheâd always wanted? Or had things turned out differently?
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as your mind drifted back to the memory of her laughter and the way sheâd talked about her plans with ABSOLUTE certainty.
Without thinking, you opened a new tab. You hesitated for a moment, a tightness in your chest returning.Â
A memory flashed into your mind to when you were having a sleepover with her
âY/nâŠâ Aeriâs voice came softly from the left side of your bed, sadness creeping into her usual playful tone.
âMm? Whatâs wrong?â you asked, glancing over at her.
âI wish you wanted to be a model,â she pouted. âThen you could try on the clothes I design.â
You laughed softly. âI mean, I still could... Why are you thinking about that now?â
âWell, obviously I want to be a designer! SO of course I want you to be the first person to wear the clothes I make,â she beamed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
The video kept playing and the math tutorial began playing.Â
Why the hell am I thinking about that now? Itâs been like 10 years?
 Aeri UchinagaâŠ
You leaned back in your chair and positioned your head towards the ceiling
What are you up toâŠ
With a sigh, you slingshotted forward and opened Facebook and began to search.
After an hour of searching, you finally found a leadâher fatherâs company page. It was a bit tedious to find her or her family, considering they lived in a completely different country.
âHi, Iâm looking for my childhood best friend, Aeri Uchinaga . Please let me know how I can contact her.â
And with that, you posted the message and, for the first time in hours, tried to return to your homework.
A few weeks later, on the complete opposite side of the world at 5:30 PM in Seoul...
Aeri sat in her dorm, the warm afternoon sunlight streaming through the window as she lounged on her bed, phone pressed to her ear, laptop resting in her lap.
âNe~ umma, remember Xinyi? She plays basketball in college now!â Aeri said with a smile, scrolling through Facebook while chatting with her mother.
âWow~! Iâm not surprised,â Mrs. Uchinaga replied with a chuckle on the other end. âShe was always knocking on our door, asking you to play.â
Aeri laughed lightly. âYeah, even though I was pretty bad. She tried so hard to teach me, but I was just assâ
âItâs okay, darling. Sports werenât really your thing,â her mother comforted warmly.
Aeri absentmindedly scrolled through her feed, clicking on old profiles and updates from people she hadnât thought about in years.
âWho else should we look up?â She asked her mom.
Aeri paused, a small smile creeping onto her lips. âWhoâs the one I had a huge crush on?â
âY/n L/nâ they both said at the same time, sharing a laugh.
Aeriâs fingers hovered over the keyboard, and she began typing your name, curiosity piqued as she searched for her old crush. As she clicked through posts, she suddenly froze.
âUmma! This is crazy!â Aeri exclaimed, her voice full of shock. âShe posted on dadâs Facebook page a few weeks ago looking for me!â
âOh wow really? Well~ Iâm not too surprised, Aeri. She really liked you!â her mom replied, her voice filled with warmth.
âIâm looking for my childhood best friend, Aeri Uchinaga ...â Aeri read aloud to her mom as her eyes scanned the message.
Aeriâs heart raced as she scrolled through your profile. Even though your hair was longer and your features were more defined, the essence of youâthe same joyful glint in your eyesâhadnât changed at all. It was as if time hadnât erased any part of the person she remembered so vividly.
âUmma, Iâll call you back,â Aeri said quickly, cutting her mom off as she reassured her with a chuckle, âYes! I promise Iâm eating well!â
She ended the call with a smile, but her pulse quickened as she stared at the screen. Her eyes scanned the message again and again, as if reading your name over and over would somehow make this more real.
âAhh~â Aeri inhaled deeply, her fingers trembling slightly as she sent you a friend request and began typing a message to you.
âY/n! Itâs Aeri, you remember me?â
It was 1:30 AM in your on-campus apartment in LA when your phone buzzed, receiving the new message.
âFuck her! She doesnât deserve you! Youâre like⊠sooo out of her league,â Yuna mumbled to your other friend, Ryujin, as she poured another shot for her.
âRight?â Ryujin sighed before pausing to take the shot. âI just donât know why I miss her⊠so much,â she grimaced as the alcohol hit the back of her throat.
âRyu, you should have some water,â you slurred, hiccuping as you passed her your water bottle.
âY/nn~ how about you drink some water,â your roommate Yunjin chimed in, giggling as she slumped over on the couch.
The four of you sat in the living room, post-gaming the bar, waiting for your DoorDash to arrive. Ryujin rested her head in your lap, and without thinking, you rubbed her back to comfort her.
You took a long gulp of water with a satisfied âAh~â before reaching for your beer.
âWellll~ Beer is basically water. You should have some too Jennie-poo! It isnât a post-game if we donât drink till we die,â you exclaimed, taking a sip from the can.
âUGH~â Ryujin groaned, deadpanning, âI want to die~â
âGirl, she literally cheated on you and then wanted to be exclusive while she was fucking someone elseâlike, what?â Yuna added, deadpan.
That comment made all of you burst out laughing(she was right), even as Ryujin lightly punched Yuna in the arm.
âHey~! Be niceeee~ Show some compassion!â Yunjin scolded, trying and failing to stifle her laughter.
You were still chuckling when your phone buzzed again in your pocket. Grabbing it, you blinked a couple of times, trying to focus your eyes on the notification.
Giselle?
Your vision was still a little too blurry to make sense of it.
"Hey!" Yunjin faked being cold
âYou have a secret girlfriend or somethin'?â Yunjin teased, sounding just like a jealous girlfriend.
âHuh?â you responded, still distracted.
âWhoâs messaging you at 1:30 in the morning? You have a sneaky link youâre not telling us about?â Yunjin continued, laughing.
Meanwhile, Ryujin was still moping in your lap. âHey! Sensitive subject!â she groaned dramatically.
âFuck if I know, I honestly have zero clue,â you mumbled, your words slurring as you stared at your phone before turning it off.
The next morning, you woke up in your bed with a slight headache. You groaned, rolling over to reach for your water bottle and chugged it like it was the last water on Earth.
The cold water worked its magic, refreshing you enough to (barely) function. You grabbed your phone from the charger and started scrolling through your notifications, still half-asleep. But then, one notification made you freezeâlast nightâs Facebook message.
You clicked on it, your grogginess instantly fading as your eyes widened in surprise. It was from none other than the girl who made you experience your first instance of loveâAeri Uchinaga.
âGiselle Uchinaga?â you muttered to yourself, reading her profile in disbelief.
Thatâs why you couldnât find her! It made complete sense now. Her features were more mature, but that familiar smileâthe one that had always warmed your heartâwas still there, lighting up her face in every picture. You couldnât stop smiling as you scrolled through her photos.
Just then, Yunjinâs voice broke through your thoughts, pulling you back to reality.
âY/n! Are you awake? I made avocado toast and eggs!â she announced from the other side of your door.
âAhh~ okay, yeah, lemme pee and Iâll be out!â you called back, your voice still raspy from sleep.
You quickly splashed some water on your face and pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before stepping out of your room.
âGood morning!â you chirped, only to be met with a synchronized groan from Yuna and Ryujin.
âHow the fuck do you have this much energy? What puts you in such a good mood?â Yuna asked, holding an ice pack on her forehead.
âHm?â you replied, walking over to your coffee cup on the table that Yunjin had filled for you. âThank Jennie-poo! And nothing, I just donât have a massive hangover like you two idiotsâshouldâve drank beer instead of taking shotsâ
As you sipped your coffee, your mind of course, drifted back to last night. That damn text from Aeri.
The two of you exchanged a few quick messages, exchanging numbers, and catching up briefly before settling on a time that worked best for both of you to video call. It felt surreal, reading Aeriâs replies after all these yearsâlike time had somehow folded in on itself, bringing the past back into the present.
You found yourself staring at your phone, the FaceTime app open and ready, but your heart pounding in your chest. What if things had changed too much? What if she wasnât the Aeri you remembered? What if you werenât the person she expected? Your thoughts spiraled as you adjusted your hair for what felt like the tenth time.
Itâs just a call, you reminded yourself. Itâs just Aeri. Youâve known her before.
But even though youâd told yourself that a hundred times, the butterflies in your stomach wouldnât settle. The phone buzzed in your hand as the screen lit up. Incoming FaceTime: Aeri Uchinaga.
You took a deep breath, your thumb hovering over the screen for a moment longer than it should have. Then, finally, you swiped to answer.
Aeriâs face appeared, pixelated for just a second before the connection stabilized. There she was. Her familiar eyes, her smileâthe same, but different? You stared at each other for a beat, neither of you quite sure how to start.
Aeri broke the silence with a nervous laugh. âWow.. itâs been so long. I almost forgot what you looked like!â
You smiled, feeling the same rush of emotions you hadnât felt in years. âI know right? I wasnât sure what to expect either. You look⊠different. In a good way, of course.â nervousness still present in your voice
âSame to you,â Aeri said, her voice softening as she studied your face. âItâs like, youâve changed, but... not really, you know?â
You laughed, the tension beginning to ease. âExcept now youâre Giselle, huh?â
Aeri grinned, rolling her eyes playfully. âYeah, thatâs a long story. But trust me, itâs still me. Aeri Uchinaga at heart.â
You both chuckled, the ice slowly breaking as the conversation started to feel more familiar. It was strange, seeing her face again like this after so many yearsâolder, more mature, but still with that same smile.
âSoo.. Youâre really out there becoming a designer, huh?â you teased, shaking your head with an incredulous smile. âItâs kind of wild thinking about you... you know, living in Korea and actually doing all the things you told me you would like years agoâ
Aeri laughed, her tone warm but modest. âDonât let social media fool you. Iâm not as glamorous as it seems. Iâm still the same girl who couldnât shoot a basketball to save her life.â
You grinned, shaking your head. âOh god yeah! I remember! You were sooo bad. I thought for sure you were going to quit after that first fall.â
âWhatever! I literally was just trying to impress you,â she joked, her laugh lighting up the screen.
With each passing minute, the conversation felt easier. The laughter flowed naturally, memories of your childhood together resurfacing as if no time had passed at all.
âSo... how have you been, really?â Aeri asked after a while, her tone more serious now. âI feel like I missed so much. of your life"
You nodded, the weight of the years between you sinking in. âYeah, it feels strange, I feel the same too. Iâve been good, I guess. But seeing you like this⊠I dunno.. It feels like yesterday, you were just that little girl on the other side of the road from me.â
Aeri smiled, her expression softening. âRight? I donât know, life is so weird sometimes.â
âYeah,â you agreed, a small smile tugging at your lips. âAnd now, youâre the girl on my screen.â
As the night went on, you both talked about everythingâyour lives, your dreams, the things you had wanted to say but never got the chance to. It was like reconnecting with a part of yourself you thought youâd lost. By the end of the call, there was an unspoken understanding between you both. This wasnât just a one-off conversation.
âSo, letâs not wait another decade to do this again?â you said with a grin.
Aeri laughed. âDeal. Next time, Iâll tell you the full story behind âGiselle.ââ
âIâm holding you to that, Aeriâ you replied, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years.
And thatâs how it was. For a few months, you both shared everythingâyour days, your worries, even the smallest details. You started waiting for her calls, looking forward to the time youâd spend talking. She was always there, her laughter filling your nights(and early mornings!), making you feel closer to her despite the distance.
It was almost as if you were in a relationship. The way she looked at you through the screen, the way your conversations lingered on hopes and what-ifs. You could almost imagine what it would be like to be with her again, for real.
You routinely called Aeri during your day.Â
Hey,â you greeted with a smile as the screen connected.
âHey,â Aeri chuckled softly on the other end.
âIs it 7:00 in the morning there? I thought you said you never wake up before 10:00,â you teased, noting how early it was for her.
âI donât,â Aeri replied, a smile tugging at her lips. âBut this was the only time that worked for you, right?â
âWell yeah but donât you have class today?â you asked, raising an eyebrow.
âYeahh~â she admitted, âbut itâs later~â sleepiness still evident in her voice
You couldnât help but tease her. âYa know Aeri, your english is pretty rustyâ
âHey!â Aeri chuckled in return and her eyes opened slightly. âI only speak English with you and my mom!â
You both laughed yet some silence strung between the two of you
âSo, you said you were leaving California to be the worldâs greatest designer... You still want that?â
Aeri paused for a moment while shifting in her bed, then smiled. âHmm... I think maybe Iâll have a business like.. My own line of clothesâ
âAhh wow~â You sighed, â Youâre the same Aeri I remember. Wanting to do everything, have everything and also still so sassy.â you teased again
She laughed, feigning shock. âSassy? Wow, canât believe you think of me like thatâ
Aeriâs grin widened before continuing, âActually... I got invited to Japan this summer to design for this brand for a whole month. My professor helped me get into the program!â
âWait, so youâll be in Japan for a month?â you asked, surprised. âThatâs amazing.â
âYeah,â Aeri nodded, her excitement palpable. âItâs crazy. I canât believe itâs happening.â
âSo, how are your applications going?â she asked, her voice softening.
âHmm, wellll~ theyâre going,â you replied with a small smile. âIâm looking at Boston for grad school.â
Aeri sighed, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. âAh wow, look at us.. when did we grow up? It feels like weâre almost... truly adults.â
âHmm, I know,â you agreed, a thoughtful pause hanging between you. âToo soon though.â
You hung up shortly after and went about your day. You studied with Yunjin, and later, the girls came over for dinner, followed by a late-night study session. By the time you showered and finally settled into bed, it was already 1 AM when your phone buzzedâAeri was calling.
âHello?â You mumbled out as you turned your lamp on
âOh sorry, were you sleeping?â she asked, her face slightly blurry on the screen.
âMm,â you sighed softly, rubbing your eyes. âNo, I just got into bed, actually.â
âLong day?â
âMhm, but thatâs alright. Whatâs up?â you asked, shifting into a more comfortable position and reaching for your glasses.
âIâm just.. in Haebonchang right now,â she said, flipping the camera to show the view. âLook how beautiful the sunset is, Y/n.â
The sunset was breathtaking, shades of pink, orange, and purple blending into each other like a painting across the sky.
âWow... itâs beautiful, Aeri,â you said in awe.
Aeriâs voice softened before she flipped the camera back to herself. âYeah... I wish you were here,â she said quietly, her eyes flickering between the camera and the fading light.
There was a pause, her words lingering in the space between you.
âMaybe one day.. We could go there together,â you whispered, your voice tinged with sadness.
âYeah.. Iâd really like that,â Aeri responded, her tone gentle but carrying the weight of something more.
There was a brief second of silence. As if both of you were hesitating to speak up.
âI miss you,â you whispered, barely audible, your voice filled with longing. Time zones didnât matter, distance didnât matter. You really just longed for Aeri.Â
Those three words heavily hung in the air between you two.
âI miss you too,â Aeri quietly admitted, her voice soft but sincere, resistance evident in her confession.Â
The day after that interaction, things started to feel different. The FaceTime calls slowly became more sparse, and her texts were less frequent. You tried not to overthink it, giving her the space you thought she might need. But as the days passed, the silence began to weigh on you. Eventually, you double texted her, unable to ignore any longer.
âAeri, is everything okay?â
For the first time in days, her response came instantly.
âYeah sorry, Iâm okay. I just have something on my mind. Can we call later?â
Her words did nothing to ease your nerves.
âOf course,â you typed back, keeping it simple, though your heart raced.
 The uncertainty gnawed at you, the anxiety tightening in your chest as you stared at the screen.
Finally, what felt like days but in reality was just a few hours, Aeri called you.
You hesitantly answered âHey Aeri, you okay?â
There was a pause, and thatâs when you knew it didnât seem promising.
âY/n,â she began softly, her face on the screen appearing hesitant, almost conflicted.
â..Aeri?â you prompted gently, your voice unsure now.
She sighed deeply, her gaze dropping for a second before meeting yours again. âY/n⊠I need to talk to you about something.â
Your heart skipped a beat. âYeah I know, whatâs going on? You okay?â
âWhen is it possible for you to visit me in Seoul?â she asked bluntly, though her tone remained soft.
You hesitated. âWell, maybe about a year or so? Just with grad schooââ
She cut you off gently, âI know.. You donât have to explain yourself, I justâ God,â She paused as if holding herself back from admitting something. âItâll be over a year and a half until I can visit youâ
Your eyes stayed glued to the screen, watching her struggle to compose herself. The pit in your stomach deepened
Aeri swallowed hard, clearly struggling with her next words. âI think we should stop talking for a whileâ
Your chest tightened.
 âWhy?â
âI came here..â She began, â Noâ Iâve had this goal since forever. I want to accomplish something here but.. I canât stop myself from looking up flights to California every day.Â
And I think⊠I think I need to focus on committing my life hereâ
You blinked, the realization slowly sinking in. She was leaving again.
âSo you want.. to stop talking to me?â Your words trailed off, unsure of how to finish that thought or if thereâs anything more you could possibly say.
âJust for now,â she said quietly, her eyes softening with what seemed like guilt. âAnd I really donât want to lose you. But I know.. I have to give this my all.â
You bit your lip, trying to keep the lump in your throat from forming. âAeri.. It took me 10 years to find you.âÂ
She looked down again, exhaling slowly trying to fight a sob from coming out. âI know Y/n, but Iâll be back before you know it.. Itâs just a brief breakâ
Fuck
You nodded slowly, though your heart ached. âAlright then Aeri â
âIâm sorry.â Her voice was barely above a whisper now. âIâm so sorryâ She began to cry.
âNo need to be sorry,â You said as you choked back your own tears, clearing your throat to cover it. âWe werenât dating or anything so donât worry about it. Really.â
There was a long pause, the silence between you filled with all the things neither of you were ready to say.
âTake care of yourself and good luck, okay?â Aeri said, her voice soft but final.
âYou too,â you replied, your throat tight, the words barely escaping. âIâll be right here.â
The call ended, and for the first time in months, the silence felt unbearable.
Aeri never knew that this was the hardest you cried in years.
Whoever said times heals everything, is a straight up liar. Time doesnât heal, it just lets you get used to how things are now.
It had been about eight years since you had last spoken to her and honestly, you didnât think much of Aeri anymore. Life had moved on, as it does. Although, there were days when youâd think back on everything but those thoughts were extremely rare now, fleeting, like a distant memory and it didnât sting the way it used to. Youâd convinced yourself that was just how things went. People come and go, and life moves forward whether youâre ready or not.
Once you graduated and started your new job in Boston not long after. You settled into a routine that felt strange at first but eventually became your new normal
Somehow, you managed to entice Yunjin to move to Boston. She had moved into a place not too far from yours with her (now!) fiance. Her sister also lives in Boston too so the transition wasnât too hard. Yuna and Ryujin had ended up in New York, so weekends/every other weekend often meant catching a train to visit them or planning get-togethers whenever everyoneâs schedules aligned.
Your 9-to-5 job wasnât glamorous, but it was steadyâsomething you could rely on. You fell into the rhythm of it quickly enough. The crowded subway rides during rush hour, the packed streets of Boston, the distant hum of the city became part of your daily routine. Youâd slip into your office, get your work done, and slip out at the end of the day. It wasnât what you imagined back when you were chasing dreams in California, picturing something a little more exciting, maybe a little more daring. But it wasnât bad eitherâit was.. just comfortable.
After work, you'd sometimes grab a drink with coworkers or meet up with the woman youâd met shortly after getting into grad school. There was nothing too serious between the two of you, just the occasional dinners or casual hangouts. She was fun to be aroundâeasygoing, good company, someone you could relax with. Youâd meet up after work at a bar downtown, sharing a drink and small talk about your days. Or sometimes, youâd catch a movie or grab takeout, sitting side by side on the couch in her small apartment, talking about work or random things that made you laugh.
It wasnât the life-altering-head-over-heels kind of thing, but it felt normal, almost comforting. There was no pressure to be anything more than it was or used to be, and that was fine with you both. Life had settled into place without much fanfare, a quiet routine that you didnât mind..
It wasnât until one quiet evening, after a long day at work, that something finally disrupted your routine. You were sitting on the couch, nursing a beer, and scrolling through your phone without much thought, letting the noise of the day slowly fade away.
That was until a notification lit up your screen. You glanced at it out of habit, not expecting anything important. But the name made you pause.
Aeri Yizhuo.
Who?
Aeri�
Your heart skipped a beat as recognition clicked into place.
Oh, for fuckâs sake.
For a second, your heart skipped a beat. You stared at the message, the familiar feeling creeping back into your chest, one you hadnât felt in ages. You hadnât thought of her in so long, and yet, there she was. After all this time.
And then, the truth hit you like a punch to the gut.
Aeri was married now.
You felt the sting of it, sharp and unexpected, cutting deeper than you wouldâve liked to admit. It shouldnât have hurt this much. You hadnât thought about her in so long as you knew sheâd been building a life in Korea. You had moved on! Or at least, thatâs what you told yourself.
But here she was, after all these years she still had the ability to make you feel something. A feeling couldnât quite put your finger on.
After all this time, part of you had still hoped for something. For something more than this.
About a month or two after your surprise catch-up with Aeri, you finally decided it was time to visit her. The timing was perfectâit was the end of the fiscal year, and you had some extra days off to use. You figured, why not? It would be a good vacation right? The thought of seeing her after all this time felt surreal, but exciting in a way you couldnât quite describe. Youâd booked your flight, set to leave next weekend so you and your friends decided to meet this weekend.
"So," Yunjin piped up, setting down her shot glass with a grin, "Why are you going to Korea?" You, Yunjin, Yuna, and Ryujin were all seated in Yunjin and Kazuha's shared apartment, a half-empty bottle of vodka in the middle of the table while your beer cans scattered around your side.
"She's going to see that girl, rememberrr?" Ryujin teased, her tone playful.
"Who?" you replied, pretending not to know who she was talking about.
Ryujin rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it. "Don't play dumb, idiot. You know exactly who I'm talking aboutâyour first love, right? I thought she lives there, doesn't she?"
"Oh, I see how it is," Yuna chimed in with a smirk. "You just broke up with your girlfriend so you could go see her, huh? You dog"
"What! Iâm going for vacation," you exclaimed, shaking your head. "And plus, you guys are crazy. She's married now."
"WHAT? Seriously?" Yunjin blurted out, her voice incredulous.
"Mhm," you nodded, your tone more casual now though it stung to admit it. "For like five or six years now"
You couldnât even bring yourself to feel bad about it. After all, from your previous conversation with Aeri, it was clear how happy she was. Sheâd met her wife, Ning Yizhou, during her design trip in Japan. Aeri had described Ning as an absolutely beautiful soul, someone kind and supportive. They both work together now, running Aeriâs business, Giselle.
From the way Aeri spoke about Ning, you could hear the genuine love and admiration in her voice. There was no bitterness in your heartâhow could there be? You were happy for her, happy that she had found someone who brought light into her life, someone who shared in her dreams.
In fact, you were proud of her. She really did accomplish everything she had set out to do. It was bittersweet, of course, but you were genuinely happy for her.Â
Thatâs all that mattered.
Right?
You stood just outside of Incheon International Airport, the thick scent of rain mingling with the smoke from your cigarette as you waited for your Uber. The weather had suddenly turned gray the second you had landed, casting a quiet gloom over the city, the kind that sinks into your bones(What a great sign, huh?). Raindrops softly patterned on the sidewalk while you took another slow drag, the smoke curling up into the damp air.
The second you crushed the cigarette beneath your shoe and bent over to pick it up, a car pulled up in front of you, headlights cutting through the misty rain. You quickly threw it in the appropriate spot in the trash can and opened the back door, climbing in with a sigh.
âAnnyeonghaseyo~,â you greeted the driver in your best (broken) Korean, trying to remember the phrases you had studied years ago for Aeri.
The driver smiled politely in the rearview mirror, his eyes crinkling with amusement. âAh, I also speak English. Are you going to the hotel?â
You felt your cheeks flush slightly, nodding as you let out a small, relieved laugh, âYes, please!â lowering your head in a polite bow.
The car slipped into the rainy Seoul night, the city lights blurring through the raindrops on the windows. The sound of rain hitting the roof of the car was soothing. Your eyes traced the streets as you drove deeper into the heart of the city. The roads were wet and glistening, the neon signs reflecting off the slick pavement, painting the night in hues of red, blue, and green.
The drive felt longer than it was, the beautiful city of Seoul was a lot to take in. Finally, you pulled up to the front of your hotel, the bright lights of the entrance cutting through the rain. The driver helped you with your bags, and you handed him some Won with a shy bow and a âgamsahamnida,â before heading inside.
Checking in was a blur of polite smiles and hurried conversations with the hotel staff. Before you knew it, you were standing in your empty room, the door clicking shut behind you with a finality that made the space feel even bigger.
The rain had picked up, drumming harder against the window. You crossed the room slowly, setting your bag down by the bed before making your way to the large floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. The lights of Seoul stretched out before you, and they were incredibly bright.Â
A reflection of your younger self flickered in the glass, dim and blurred by the raindrops. It was as if your inner child was staring right back at youâsmiling brightly in those stupid colorful shorts your Mom loved to dress you in with a big toothy grin stretching across your face.Â
As quickly as she appeared, she vanished. Then reflected back was an almost unrecognizable adult. It was you. The light in your eyes was still prevalent, but it just wasnât as bright as it used to be. Years must have dimmed that spark and softened the edges of the person you once were.
You leaned your forehead against the cool glass, watching as your breath fogged up the window. The city below pulsed with life, its bright lights and movement carrying on unaware of your inner turmoil.
In that moment, surrounded by the bright lights of a city that was so beautiful and full of life.
You had never felt more alone.
Some bridges in Korean folklore represent reunion and enduring love, like the Magpie Bridge, where separated lovers meet once a year to reaffirm their bond. Others, however, represent a fleeting reconnectionâbrief moments that canât last, like this one.
The next morning, you got ready and made your way to Seonyudo Park Bridge, a location Aeri had sent you earlier. The sky wasnât rainy (luckily) and the soft hum of the city seemed distant as you stood at the edge of the bridge, anxiously watching pedestrians and tourists bustle around. Snippets of Korean and bits of broken English floated past you as you nervously fidgeted with the strap of your tote bag.
You shifted your weight, glancing around, when a voice called out, one you hadnât heard in person in years.
âY/n!â
Your head instinctively turned.
Suddenly, in front of you stood a child. She wore jean shorts, a Hello Kitty shirt, and had medium length black hair. Her smile was bright, lighting up her entire face, and her eyes sparkled with a familiar excitement.
It was a smile you could recognize anywhere.
For a moment, you were transported back in time. There she wasâAeri, as you remembered her as a child, standing on the other side of the bridge. You froze, staring in disbelief as the vision of her younger self ran toward you, wide-eyed and full of life. It felt so realâthe way she moved, the way her smile hadn't changed.
But then you blinked, and the vision vanished and adult, present time Aeri was just walking toward you. She looked differentâgrown up. Her hair had grown longer, her figure more filled in, and her features had sharpened with time. But that damn smile, the way her eyes crinkled in the corners when she smiled, was exactly the same as you remembered it from 20 years ago.
Without thinking, your body moved on its own, a shy yet goofy smile creeping across your face as you walked toward her. Your strides were longer, more eager, and you met her about three-quarters of the way across the bridge. You met her where she was.
Now standing just a foot apart, neither of you spoke at first. You both stood there, taking each other in, as if afraid to break the fragile moment. Aeri was still shorter than you by a couple of inches, and she was dressed in a sleek black leather jacket with gray slacks that made her look effortlessly beautiful.
You looked down at her, your heart racing, and for a few seconds, the world around you seemed to fade away. The silence between you wasnât awkwardâit was heavy, but not uncomfortable. It was the weight of everything left unsaid, everything that had built up over the years.
Finally, Aeri sighed softly, her eyes locked on yours, and a smile tugged at her lips. âWow~,â she whispered, looking up at you with a mix of awe and warmth.
She surprisingly embraced you in an unexpected hug. Your hands hovered, ghosting across her sides.
âI missed youâ She muffled out on your shoulder
You didnât respond.
You both pulled back from the hug, standing there, just staring at each other. There was something almost surreal about itâthe way you both remembered each other so clearly, yet in this moment, you felt like strangers, familiar but somehow unrecognizable.
âYou look amazing,â you croaked out, your voice betraying the flood of emotions. âYouâve changed but... you havenât? If that makes sense.â A nervous laugh escaped your lips.
Aeri lowered her head, letting out a soft, breathy chuckle. âI could say the same to you... When did you get so tall?â
You shyly smirked âI think youâve just always been short.â
âAh~ so you havenât changed at all. Still so~ annoying,â she teased, her laugh infectious.
The laughter faded, and a comfortable silence settled between you both as you took each other in again, the weight of time pressing gently on the moment.
âSo...â Aeri smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. âYou wanna go? Iâve got a few places planned for us.â
âYeah, of course. Letâs go,â you replied, and without another word, you followed Aeri much like a dog
The Han River has long been a symbol of flow, change, and life in Korea. Flowing water symbolizes the constant change in ones life.. theyâre moving in different directions, but still connected in some way.
The walk wasnât far, but neither of you spoke at first. Aeri led the way and you followed, both of you too shy to break the silence. Finally, she guided you to a quiet spot near the bank of the Han River, the water glistening under the dim light of the overcast sky.
âHowâs here?â Aeri finally spoke, settling down near the waterâs edge.
âMmm,â you murmured, nodding as you sat beside her. The lush grass below you.
You both sat quietly, watching the water, the silence growing heavier with unsaid words.
âWas the last time we talked really eight years ago?â Aeri sighed, breaking the silence again.
âI think so? Weâre 30 now... So, yeah, I guess it was,â you said, turning your head slightly toward her. âFeels weird huh?â You gave her a little half smile.
âWow...â she whispered, her voice carrying the weight of those lost years.
After a brief pause, she added, âYou know.. before I got married, I went to New York with my wife.â
âI know.â
âI sent you a message on Facebook, I didnât know if you had changed your numberâ she continued, smiling softly but with a hint of sadness in her eyes. âBut you didnât respondâ
There was another pause. It felt like she had more to say, so you stayed quiet, waiting.
âI wanted to see you,â she admitted quietly. âI was disappointed.â
âIâm sorry,â you said, your gaze fixed on the water, avoiding her eyes. There wasnât much else you could say, something was hanging in the air between you.
Aeri shifted, her tone changing slightly. âWell, I also wanted to meet your girlfriend. How are you guys doing?â
âWeâre not together right now,â you admitted.
âOh, Iâm sorry... I didnât mean toâ wait, did you break up?â she asked, concern lacing her voice.
âOh well no, I don't know, weâre just... in a weird spot right now. She wants to get married but...â
âBut you donât?â Aeri asked, cutting through your hesitation.
âYeah it's just, I donât know, itâs just... complicated,â you sighed, trying not to reveal too much, keeping your emotions in check.
âWhatâs complicated?â she pressed, her voice direct, almost matter-of-fact.
You chuckled lightly at her tone. âIâm still paying off my student loans. I just donât want my wife to carry that burden, you know? Boston is expensive enough as it is...â It wasnât entirely a lie. But deep down, you knew there was more to your hesitation than just the financial part.
âI just feel like she deserves someone better than me. Weâve been together but.. not really together for so long... She deserves someone who can give her what she wants. Someone... less ordinary and..â
âOrdinary?â Aeri interrupted softly, her voice filled with disbelief. âYouâre far from ordinary, Y/n. You know youâre...â she trailed off, as if catching herself before saying too much.
You gave her a small smile, ignoring her hesitation. It was clear neither of you wanted to dig into old feelings, not yet, maybe even never. There was too much that both of you were avoiding.
âSo, howâs work?â you asked, gently steering the conversation away from the tension that had built up. The question felt like a safe place to land, something casual and mundane.
Aeri smiled, seeming to relax a little. âBusy, as always. Giselleâs doing well, though. Itâs everything I dreamed of... and more stressful than I imagined.â
âThat sounds about right,â you chuckled, the heaviness between you starting to ease. âBut, I knew you could do it. Iâm really proud of you, Aeri.â
Slowly, the awkwardness began to dissipate. You found yourselves laughing about silly memories from when you were younger, filling in the gaps from the eight years you had missed.
Aeri told you about the ups and downs of her business, her wife, her travels, and the unexpected ways life had changed her. You shared stories of grad school, your friends, your job, and the quiet moments of your own life that had shaped you. It was easy to get lost in the rhythm of it, the back and forth, as though no time had passed at all.
Before you knew it, the sun had started to dip, casting soft shades of pink and orange across the sky. .
âRemember that one time when you feââ
Your stomach grumbled loudly, cutting through Aeriâs story
âOh my god, are you hungry?â Aeriâs eyes widened with concern.Â
Oh, no Iâm fine, really!â You tried to assuage but of course she did not relent
âNo itâs okay, I could eat too. Letâs go get some food, thereâs a great to-go spot nearby, and then Iâve got one more place I want to show you.â
She was already on her feet, tugging at your sleeve before you could even think to protest. Not that you would, of course.
You chuckled softly, offering a simple, âAlright,â as a smile crept onto your face. It just felt so natural. Aeri was still the same, always charging ahead, her excitement infectious, leading you from behind as she had so many times before.Â
Some things really never change.
Soon, you both arrived at a cozy 24-hour convenience store, the kind that makes it fresh right there. It was small and tucked away, but the smell of freshly made meals greeted you the moment you stepped inside. You ordered an onigiri, feeling like thatâs all your stomach could handle after such a day like this.Â
You unwrapped it and took a bite, savoring the simple comfort of the food, but before you could settle in, Aeri was pulling you along again, her food in hand, excitement bubbling in her voice.
âLetâs go, the bus comes in three minutes!â she said, glancing at her phone with a grin.
You both made it onto the bus(after scarfing down your rice ball) barely just in time. With no seats available, you were left standing together, holding the same pole.
Strangers pressed in around you, the sounds of conversation and the hum of the city filling the space. But in that moment, it felt like it was only the two of you in the world.
Your fingers brushed against each other, but neither of you moved. The silence stretched between you, not awkward, just heavy with all the years missed.Â
You met Aeriâs gaze, and for a brief second, it felt like time slowed.Â
The bus glided (not) smoothly through the city streets, and yet the tension between you was almost tangible. Your mind raced with everything you wanted to say, but none of the words seemed right.
"Aeâ" you started to say, but before the words could form, Aeri cut you off softly.
âOh, weâre here,â she said, her voice gently pulling you both back into the present moment.
The bus came to a stop, and you followed her out, stepping into the cool evening air. The two of you walked side by side, the quiet comfort between you settling in again as you made your way toward Namsan Tower, known for its Love Lock Bridge.
âDo you want a picture?â Aeri asked, breaking the silence. âIt is your vacation, right? I feel like you havenât taken many pictures while youâve been here. Probably my fault,â she laughed lightly, her tone warm.
âOh yeah, sure!â you said, handing her your phone.
You posed in front of a scenic spot along the path, flashing your signature bright smile.
âAh~ so cute,â she teased, snapping a few photos before handing your phone back to you.
âThanks,â you said, quickly glancing at the picture before slipping the phone into your pocket.
The two of you continued walking, your shoulders brushing against each other now and then as the foot traffic toward the bridge picked up. Just before you reached the bridge, Aeri stopped in her tracks, turning to you with a serious look.
âY/n,â she said, her voice soft but steady.
âHmm?â you looked at her curiously.
âWhy did you... search for me?â she asked quietly, her gaze lingering on you.
âEight years ago?â you finished for her.
âMhm,â she nodded.
âDo you really want to know?â you asked, meeting her eyes. She gave a small nod in response, waiting.
You took a deep breath, searching for the right words. âI wanted to see you again... I donât know. You left so suddenly, and I guess I was a little pissed off, honestly.â
âIâm sorry,â Aeri said softly.
You let out a small huff of laughter. âWhy are you apologizing?â
âI guess... youâre right. I donât have anything to be sorry for,â she admitted, smiling faintly.
âYou were just in my entire life, and then you left... and then, bam, I found you again,â you said, the words coming out more candidly than you expected.
âWhy would you do that?â she asked, her voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.
âI donât know, honestly... You kept entering my mind when I was in college. I thought about you... a lot,â you admitted.
Aeri nodded, her expression softening. âI see.â
âWe were babies back then, huh?â you chuckled, the tension easing. âAnd even eight years ago... we were still figuring things out.â
âYeah,â Aeri smiled, a bittersweet glint in her eyes. âI canât believe weâre not âbabiesâ anymore.â
You both finally arrived at the Love Lock Bridge, the sky now a deep shade of blue, illuminated by the city lights below. The bridge was alive with the soft hum of conversations you couldnât quite understand and the distant sounds of traffic, but you felt a quiet stillness between you and Aeri walked around.
âNing and I came here for our anniversary,â Aeri said, her voice almost wistful as she glanced around. âIt was hard to find at first. We spent months looking for the perfect spot to place our lock.â
She started scanning the rows upon rows of locks, her fingers brushing over the cold metal as she looked for hers. But while she was focused on finding it, you couldnât stop staring at herâthe way her hair fell over her face as she leaned in, the subtle concentration etched on her features, the soft smile that tugged at her lips every now and then as she searched.
You knew you should probably be at least trying to help her, but at this moment, it felt like she was a world away, even as she stood right next to you. She was talking about their anniversary, their love, and you couldnât shake away the sinking feeling.
Then suddenly, She spotted it. A small, worn lock with their names etched in faded letters. Ning and Aeri. She pointed at it.
âThere,â she said softly.
Your eyes followed your finger, and she smiled when she saw it.
âWow... I didnât think weâd be able to find it.â
You forced a smile, but the heaviness in your chest lingered. After a few moments of small talk about the lock, the conversation lulled, and Aeri checked the time. The soft glow of the city lights and the quiet hum of the evening reminded you both that this reunion, like everything, had to come to an end.
âI should probably head home,â Aeri said quietly, her voice carrying a hint of reluctance. She didnât want to break the moment, but it was inevitable.
You nodded, your own smile fading. âYeah, I should get back too.â
Home. She was going home to someoneâto a life that didnât include you. And as much as you tried to push the thought aside, it stung.
She walked with you toward the bus stop, in silence. The conversation from earlier echoed in your mindâhow you had found her again, only to realize that the distance between your lives was now undeniable.
When the bus pulled up, Aeri watched as you stepped inside. She gave you one last, soft smile, the kind that carried more meaning than any words could, just before the doors closed between you.
You said your quiet goodbye, instead of walking her home like you used to, you headed back to your own place. Alone.
The next day arrived with a clearer sky, though the weight of the previous night still lingered faintly in your chest. You werenât sure how to feel, but Aeriâs early morning text had a way of pulling you out of your thoughts: âLetâs go to Seoul Tower today! I feel like everyone who visits needs to see it.â
Of course you agreed, a few hours later when you had checked out of your hotel, you found yourself walking toward one of Seoulâs most famous places, N Seoul Tower, with Aeri by your side. The streets were alive with locals and tourists, bustling around market stalls and snapping photos.
There was a vibrant energy of the city surrounding you, but your focus was on Aeri, who was as animated as ever, pointing out landmarks and sharing random facts about the places you passed. It was cute.
âThis place is sooo a must for anyone visiting Seoul,â Aeri said with a grin as you passed a shop offering hanbok rentals. âWanna try one on?â She teased âOr are you more in the mood for food?â
You bantered back. âLetâs try food first. I donât think Iâm ready for a hanbok yet,â you playfully rolled your eyes
You stopped at a food stall, grabbing some hotteok, tteokbokki, and grilled meat skewers.
âYou have to try this. Itâs my favorite,â she said, handing you a cup of hotteok, her face lighting up as you took a bite of the warm treat âSee?! I knew youâd like it.â
The day moved quickly as you wandered through the crowded streets, snapping photos, enjoying the âtouristyâ vibe. It felt easier, lighter, as if you could both escape into the city, even if just for a while.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden hue over the city, Aeri led you to the top of N Seoul Tower. From the observation deck, you could see all of Seoul stretched out before you. The view was breathtaking, the city bathed in the soft light of the sun.
âThis city... itâs strange how much itâs become home,â Aeri said quietly, her voice softer now. She leaned against the railing, staring out at the skyline. âI never thought Iâd feel that way when I first moved here.â
You stood beside her. âItâs beautiful,â you said, your own voice hushed, as if speaking too loudly might break the delicate moment. You stared at her as she gazed out over the city, your mind was elsewhere.
For a while, you both stood in silence, taking in the view. In that moment, it didnât matter where you had come from or where you were going.Â
For now, this was enough.
After spending the day embodying a tourist and such, the sun had long set, and the once-bustling streets now felt quieter as you followed Aeri back to her apartment.
You were nervous of course,
âShe knows Iâm coming. right?â you asked, pausing mid-step.
âOf course,â Aeri replied, leading you up the steps to her apartmentâthe place she now called home.
As you entered, Aeri's wife, Ning, was already by the door. You werenât sure what you had expected, but seeing her in the flesh felt surreal, like a final confirmation of the life Aeri had built without you. It felt like the gap between your past with Aeri and her present had suddenly become tangible.
After a brief moment of silence, you gave Ning a polite bow, offering your best attempt at broken Korean. âAnnyeonghaseyo,â you said, smiling awkwardly.
Ning returned the gesture with a polite bow of her own. âHello,â she responded in careful English.
For a second, both of you stood there, staring at each other incredulously, trying to find the right words, the weight of the moment hanging between you.
You nodded, your heart racing slightly. âItâs nice to meet you,â you added, this time in your most broken Korean.
Ning smiled kindly, understanding the effort you were making. âItâs nice to meet you too,â she said
Ning chuckled softly, the slight language barrier immediately apparent but not uncomfortable. âAeri told me⊠a lot about you.â she responded in English
âLikewiseâ
Aeri came to your side, sensing the mix of emotions swirling in the air. âNing, should we grab something to eat? Sheâs leaving later tonight, so I think we should eat,â Aeri said in Korean, but you didnât quite catch the words.
Ning nodded and turned to you, switching back to English. âWhat do you like to eat?â
You pondered for a moment, thinking of something simple but satisfying. âHmm⊠samgyupsal?â
Ningâs face immediately lit up at the mention of her favorite food. âLetâs go get samgyupsal!â she said, her excitement evident.
You three ended up at a cozy late-night bar and restaurant, the soft hum of conversation and clinking of glasses filling the space. Dinner had gone smoothly, the samgyupsal hitting the spot, and now you were all nursing drinks, passing time until your Uber was set to arrive.
âSo, have you traveled out of the United States before?â Ning asked in Korean, her expression curious. Of course, you didnât understand, but Aeri leaned in, her voice low as she translated.
âSheâs asking if youâve been out of the country before,â Aeri said with a small smile, eyes flicking between you and her wife.
You shook your head with a soft laugh. âIâve been to Japan and Spain before, but I think Korea has been my favorite so far.â
Aeri translated the words, and Ning nodded with a smile.
âShe says Seoul is a good place to start when visiting Korea, but if you come back, you should visit Jeju Island. Itâs beautiful there,â Aeri translated again, while Ning added in her own bit in Korean, her face lighting up.
âIâve heard great things about Jeju,â you said, returning the smile. âMaybe next time.â
The small talk flowed easily enough, but as the night wore on, Aeri slowly stopped translating, and Ning sat quietly, sipping her drink. It created an odd dynamicâone where it felt like Aeri was caught between two worlds, and Ning, though polite, was drifting further into her own thoughts.
You couldnât help it. With the drinks loosening your tongue and emotions swirling inside you, the words began to spill out. Leaning in slightly, you lowered your voice, careful to keep your tone steady. âAeri⊠thanks for introducing me to your wife.â
Aeri blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. âMm,â she mumbled, her gaze flickering between you and her drink, unsure of where you were headed.
âI can tell she really loves you,â you added softly, the sincerity in your voice clear. "I didn't realize liking your wife would hurt this much."
Aeriâs eyes softened, her brow furrowing slightly. âReally?â she asked, her voice almost hesitant, as if she needed confirmation.
âOf course,â you replied, your words gentle, but heavy with the weight of what you werenât saying.
A moment of silence passed, the sounds of the bar fading into the background as the two of you sat there, the space between you filled with things that had been left unsaid for too long.
You took a sip from your glass, gathering the courage to speak again. â⊠When we stopped talking back then⊠I really missed you. Did you miss me?â
The question hung in the air, heavy and raw, as if youâd been holding it in for years.
Aeriâs gaze dropped for a moment, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. When she finally looked up at you, her voice was softer, almost vulnerable. âOf course I did, Y/n.â
A dry laugh escaped your lips. âBut you met your wife then.â There was an edge to your voice, a bitterness that surprised even you.
Aeri responded instantly, almost defensively. âAnd you had a girlfriend.â
You scoffed softly. âRight,â you murmured, shaking your head with a small smile. âSorry.â
Aeri fidgeted with the rim of her glass. âItâs okay.â
After a few quiet moments, you exhaled, the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. The words slipped out before you had the chance to stop them. âSeeing you again⊠itâs made me have some strange thoughts.â
Aeri lifted her eyes to yours, her gaze gentle but curious. âWhat kind of thoughts?â she asked softly.
You hesitated, your fingers tracing the rim of your glass as you searched for the right words. âI keep thinking⊠what if I had come here eight years ago? What if you never left California? If weâd just grown up together, stayed in each otherâs livesâŠâÂ
You paused, the questions swirling in your mind before you continued, your voice growing softer. âWould I have still searched for you? Would we have dated? Broken up? Gotten married and had kids? Just.. you know, stuff like that.â
You glanced at Aeri, her expression unreadable as she absorbed everything you said.
âAnd what Iâve realized,â you continued, almost to yourself, âis that California⊠it was always too small for your ambition. You outgrew it before either of us realized. Iâm happy you moved here, Aeri, I really am.
And the truth is, I liked you because youâre you. And who you areâŠâ You trailed off for a moment, letting the words sink in before you finished quietly. âWho you are is someone who leaves.â
Aeriâs lips parted slightly, her breath catching. She looked away for a second, as if trying to gather her thoughts, before her voice came out in a whisper. âThe Aeri Uchinaga you remember⊠she doesnât exist anymore.â
Her words cracked slightly, as if admitting it to herself for the first time.
You felt a soft chuckle escape you, one tinged with understanding. âI know,â you replied. âI know.â
She nodded, but quickly added, âBut⊠that doesnât mean she never existed.â Her eyes met yours again, softer now. âI left that version of me behind 20 years ago. I left her with you.â
Her words, the honesty in them, tugged at something deep within you. âI know,â you repeated, meeting her gaze, a strange sense of peace settling over you. âI know we were only twelve⊠but I really did love her.â
Aeriâs lips curved into a small, sad smile, the kind that holds years of unspoken truths. âI know,â she said, her voice barely a whisper. âYouâre crazy, you know that?â
You both let out a quiet laugh, the sound soft but comforting, a brief return to the simplicity of who you used to be.
âI think we mustâve been something together in our past lives,â she said after a while, her voice distant, thoughtful. âOtherwise, why would we be here together right now?â
You thought about her words, turning them over in your mind. âI agree,â you finally said. âBut in this life⊠we obviously just arenât those people to each other, are we? Weâre finally in the same city for the first time in 20 years, and here we are, sitting together... with your wife.â
Your expression softened, as you quietly acknowledged the truth you both knew. âTo Ning, youâre someone who stays,â you whispered.
A few moments of silence passed between you and Aeri.
âWho do you think we were to each other in our past lives?â Aeri asked suddenly, her voice soft, almost wistful.
You tilted your head, considering the question. âHmm⊠I donât know,â you said, your tone thoughtful. âMaybe we were forced into a political marriage to stop a warâŠOr maybe we were just two strangers on a bus who happened to sit next to each other. Or even.. maybe I was just a branch you decided to sit on as a bird on a cold morning.â
You and Aeri chuckled at that, though you could sense a sadness behind it.
You both sat in the quiet for a few more moments, the weight of those imagined lives lingering in the air, until Aeri excused herself to use the restroom, leaving you alone with Ning.
You turned toward her, feeling guilty for the past hour. âIâm sorry we spoke alone,â you said gently, your voice low. âIt wonât happen again.â
Ning gave you a small, gentle smile, though there was something sad in her eyes. âDonât worry,â she replied, her English hesitant but kind. âYou two havenât seen each other in a while. Iâm glad I got to meet you Y/n.â
You nodded, her response easing some of the tension in your chest. âIâm glad too,â you said softly, offering her a smile in return
When Aeri returned, you paid the bill and the three of you made your way back to the apartment to grab your luggage. The atmosphere had shifted slightlyâquiet, but not uncomfortable, just the natural stillness that follows the end of a long day.
âHey, Iâm gonna walk her to her Uber,â Aeri said to Ning, offering her a small, reassuring smile before turning toward you and the door.
You paused for a moment, glancing at Ning. Bowing slightly, you tried your best to piece together the Korean youâd practiced. âNice to meet you. Come visit me in California.â
Ningâs eyes softened, and despite the awkwardness of the language barrier, her warmth was undeniable. She returned the bow, her own English just as halting but genuine. âDefinitely,â she replied, her smile sincere. You offered her a small smile in return before following Aeri out the door.
As you and Aeri stepped out of the apartment, the cool night air hit you both. You walked side by side down the quiet street, neither of you saying much, both lost in your own thoughts.
The streets were dimly lit, the distant hum of the city lingering in the background. Every now and then, your shoulders brushed, but neither of you acknowledged it.Â
As you neared the end of the street, where your Uber was set to pick you up, you both stopped, standing under a flickering streetlight. The quiet air felt thick, the weight of the goodbye neither of you wanted to acknowledge.
Aeri shifted slightly, glancing at you before looking away, her hands fidgeting in her jacket pockets. âWill it be here soon?â she asked, her voice soft, trying to smooth over the tension between you.
You glanced at your phone, the screen glowing back at you. âTwo minutes,â you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
Silence.
Some more silence fell between you two as the night deepened, the distant sounds of the city humming softly around you. Neither of you made any effort to fill the quiet, as if both afraid that words would shatter whatever remained between you.
Finally, the low rumble of a car pulling up signaled that your time was almost up. You glanced at the Uber, then down at your bags. With a sigh, you began to pack them into the trunk, your movements slow, almost hesitant, as if trying to delay the inevitable.
Just as you were about to open the car door, something inside you stirred. You couldnât let this moment end without saying it.
âAeri,â you called out, your voice breaking the silence as you turned toward her, your hand resting on the handle of the door.
She looked up, her eyes lighting up just a little as she responded, âMm?â
For a moment, you hesitated, unsure if you should say the words that had been circling in your mind. But the thought of leaving without voicing them felt unbearable. So you smiled, that bittersweet smile tugging at your lips as you spoke.
âWhat if this is a past life as well, and we are already something else to each other in our next life? Who do you think we are then?â You could feel a deep sadness in your voice as the words left your lips.
Aeri blinked, the question taking her by surprise. Her eyes searched for yours, as if trying to understand the depth of your meaning. She looked almost vulnerable at that moment, her lips parting slightly before she whispered, âI-I donât know.â Careful with her words
There was something in the way she said itâlike she wanted to know, like she wished she had an answer for you but couldnât bring herself to find one. The distance between you two felt like more than just the physical space separating youâit was something neither of you could cross.
You had realized just then. At that moment. That she hasnât been looking at you with any sort of love or longing. Sheâd just been looking at you with nostalgia. A life before the weight of the world crashed down on her.
You lowered your head with a sad laugh in response to her.
âAlright,â you began, âGoodbye, Aeri Uchinaga.. See you then.â you whispered finally parting ways with the girl you'd known 20 years ago.
A feeling of loss over you, almost suffocating. You still managed a genuine smile because you were happy Aeri was happy.Â
Bittersweet.Â
âSee you.. then, Y/n L/nâ she whispered.Â
With that, you gave her a small nod, your heart heavy. The air between you felt thick with everything unsaid. Aeri looked back at you, her eyes holding a mix of emotionsânostalgia, sadness, maybe a little bit of both.
You opened the door and got into the backseat of the Uber. You glanced out the window one last time, catching a glimpse of Aeri standing there under the streetlight. She looked a little blurry in the dim light, but still the same Aeri youâve always known.
For a second, your eyes met again. Neither of you waved, neither of you spoke. You both knew this was how it had to end.
You took a deep breath and nodded to the driver, and the car pulled away.
You silently stared out the window as the scenery of Seoul flashed by while tears streamed down your face.Â
Youâll never know that she was crying too. Harder than she ever had before.
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synopsis: you relentlessly have dreams of a woman you can never remember the moment you wake up
cw: soulmate! AU, angsty-(?), minor cursing, briefly suggestive, alcohol, brief mentions of death/killing
word count: 7.5K
notes! hi hi (: itâs lowkey inspired by the movie âYour Nameâ but with Tzuyu! (obv) Italics indicate dreams/other timelines. I really enjoyed writing thisâ although Iâm inexperienced I hope you enjoy! Let me know how you feel about it or if youâd just like to chat! Love youuu (:
You were at the bookstore when you first heard it.
Bells.
Clear and unmistakable, the sound cut through the quiet hum of the store. It was as if the world paused for a moment, just long enough for the chime to echo between you both.
You were walking through the narrow aisle, lost in thought, when your shoulder brushed against hers. The contact was brief, almost incidental, but the timing was perfectâright as the bell rang. Both of you stopped, caught off guard, and turned to face each other. Her eyes were wide with the same bewilderment you felt. For a split second, it was as if the world shrank to just the two of you, suspended in that peculiar moment.
âOh-! Iâm sorry,â you whispered, your voice barely more than a breathâ trying to assuage the awkwardness that was in the air. She nodded, offering a small smile before you both continued on your way, the moment slipping into the background like a passing breeze.
You finished your browsing, paid for your book, and headed back to your studio apartment. The familiar warmth of home welcomed you along with your dog Bread as he was wagging his tail. You set the book down on the table, patted Breadâs head, and moved through the motions of your evening routineâmaking dinner, washing the dishes, tidying up and showering.
Finally, as the day wound down, you climbed into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. Your thoughts drifted to the beautiful woman in the bookstore, the sound of the bell, and the strange sense that something had shifted. You decided to shrug it off as a coincidence as maybe someone had opened the door at the exact moment you two brushed against each other(but you swore you only heard it in your head, not from your ears.)Â
But sleep came quickly, pulling you into its embrace before you could dwell on it any longer.
Thatâs when it began.
The dreams.
Youâve always had vivid dreams, the kind that feel more like memories than figments of your imagination. But this was different. The clarity, the intensityâit was as though you were slipping into another world entirely.Truly blurring the line between reality and fantasy.
âJagiya~, letâs go up there! That spot looks perfect!â The voice was ethereal, almost musical, as she led you up a lush, green hill, a wicker picnic basket swinging gently in her free hand.
âYeah! Thatâs perfect!â you replied, your voice bright with excitement. But even as the words left your lips, it felt oddâas if you were watching a scene play out from a distant memory, detached yet present. Like you were both an actor and observer, following along as if it were scripted, yet not fully in control.
The strangeness lingered.
You were fully conscious, intensely aware of everything around you: the warmth of the sun on your face, the way it cast a golden hue across the landscape; the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze, brushing against your skin like a gentle caress; the intoxicating scent her rose perfume that drifted through the air, delicate and familiar, stirring something deep within you.
âWhen I used to get homesick, I would come here and make all the same snacks my mom used to make for me when she would take me out for a picnicâ her voice entranced you like she was a siren. God.. Her laugh was even more enthralling, âShe even let me bring TWO of my stuffed animals to join usâ she chuckled
âI havenât been here in a while though..â she trailed off as if she had more to say but waited for your response.
âHm~? Why not jagi?â genuine curiosity evident in your voice
Who was this woman? A part of your mind questioned her identity, her presenceâso familiar yet unplaceable. The other part of you was overwhelmed by an inexplicable sense of love and happiness, as if every fiber of your being recognized her, longed for her. Your soul knew her.
You could only see her back as she walked aheadâher hair was black and cascaded down her back in soft waves, her frame slender and elegant, her height slightly above average. She moved with a grace that seemed almost otherworldly, her steps light and purposeful as if this hill was a sacred place, meant just for the two of you.
You reached the top of the hill, the world stretching out before you like a painted masterpiece. The woman paused, her back still to you, and you felt your heart quicken. She began to turn, slowly, as if in a movie, and you knewâknew with every part of youâthat seeing her face would change everything.
âWell.. Because youâre my home now, y/nâ
But just as your eyes were about to meet hersâ
You woke up.
The dream slipped away like sand through your fingers, leaving you with a lingering sense of longing, of something lost and yet to be found. Your heart raced as you lay there, the vividness of the experience etched into your mind, leaving you questioning whether it was just a dream or something moreâa memory, or perhaps, of a life you couldnât quite remember.
~
These dreams persisted for weeks, each one more vivid and consuming than the last. Pages and pages of your journal were filled with each dream with the mysterious woman. You also sketched whatever details of her world you could recallâan outdoor market while she browsed records, a side view of her looking at a bouquet of flowers, and a pair of small dogs, one dark, one light.Â
Yet, no matter how hard you tried, her face remained elusive. It was always blurred, or worse, you would wake up the moment you were about to see it. The frustration gnawed at you, driving you to spend more time with your journal, hoping that somehow, the next dream would reveal more pieces to complete this impossible puzzle.
After scribbling whatever details you could remember, you sighed, setting your pencil down. You cleaned yourself up, fed Bread, and sent some money to your loyal dog sitter (and neighbor!) Momo.Â
âJihyo-unnie, you donât understand these dreams Iâve been having!â you whined, trailing after her as she moved from table to table, wiping them down in preparation for opening.
She paused, glancing at you with a mix of concern and amusement. âYouâre right, I donât understand, but I can imagine how crazy it must be to experience them. Maybe itâsâ Hi, welcome in!â
She was interrupted by the bell above the door jingling as another customer entered. You let out a sigh, flopping down into your usual seat by the window. â Ugh~ Itâs like every time Iâm about to see her face, something pulls me out of the dream. I just canât shake the feeling that sheâs important, you know?â
Jihyo finished wiping down the last table and came over to join you, setting a steaming cup of your favorite brew in front of you. You said a quick âthank-youâ before she continued âYou know, the subconscious mind is weird. Maybe it could be connecting you to a past life or maybe itâs just showing you the type of life you want to live with someone. Did you have a dream last night?âÂ
You took a sip of the coffee before explaining, âYeah we were..â
You rummaged through the cupboards of your home, carefully selecting your and your wifeâs favorite tea cups. They were delicate, with hand-painted patterns you had both made at a pottery class you two took as a date. You gently scooped the tea leaves into the kettle, breathing in the familiar, calming scent as the steam rose. The boiling water poured into the kettle with a soft hiss, and you set it aside to steep
As you moved about the kitchen, you heard your wifeâs footsteps in the hallway, the soft padding of her feet growing fainter as she entered the living room. A moment later, the gentle, melodic sound of the guzheng filled the air, the music wrapping around you like a warm embrace. It was a tune she often played, one that had become so familiar that you catch yourself humming it from time to time.
With the tea now steeped, you carefully carried the two cups and the kettle into the living room. Your wife was seated at the low table, her fingers gracefully plucking at the strings of the guzheng, lost in the flow of the music. You placed one of the cups near her, the delicate clink of porcelain barely interrupting her concentration. Leaning down, you pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, and she giggled in response, her fingers briefly faltering on the strings.
âIs Xinyi asleep?â you asked as you began to pour the tea into her cup, the warm liquid swirling gently.
âYes, it was easy today,â she replied, her voice filled with warmth. âShe had so much fun at the park⊠Youâre such a good mom.â She chuckled, reminiscing about the joy on your daughterâs face just a few hours ago.
You smiled, feeling a surge of affection as you hugged her from behind, your arms wrapping around her gently as she knelt at the table. You placed a tender kiss on the nape of her neck, and you felt her shiver in response, a soft sigh escaping her lips. âYouâre an even better mom,â you whispered, âand the best wife.â
She leaned into your embrace, her body relaxing against yours as she murmured a contented âMm~â before her focus shifted back to the instrument. You released her, making your way to the couch and sinking into its familiar comfort. You rested your head on the armrest, watching her play, the music filling the room with a sense of peace and belonging.
âIâm so lucky to have you,â you said, your voice low and filled with emotion. You smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy as the music lulled you into a state of deep relaxation. The sound of her playing, her voice humming along, was like a lullaby, soothing and familiar.
When you opened your eyes, everything had changed. The cozy living room with its warm lighting and familiar comforts was gone. Instead, you found yourself lying on a tiny twin mattress in a college dorm, facing a woman whose face was blurry. You could see her black hair cascading over the pillow, her eyes closed in peaceful slumber.
Despite the shift in surroundings, you felt an overwhelming sense of love and contentment. The comforter was pulled up to your chins, but you knew that you were both naked beneath the sheets. You reached out, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Your heart was doing flipsâyou swore she mustâve heard because she spoke up!
âMm~ whatâs your happiest memory?â she purred, her voice soft as she nuzzled into your hand, her smile evident even with her eyes still closed.
âMy happiest memory?â you repeated, considering the out-of-the-blue question. Your hand gently caressed her chin with your thumb as you thought. âI think⊠I think itâs happening right now.â
She chuckled softly, and the sound was like music to your ears. âIs it because we just fucked?â she teased, playfully slapping your chest. The outlandish accusation made you laugh in disbelief
âNo~!â you huffed, trying to keep a straight face, though you couldnât quite hide your smile. âIâm just so in love with you,â you confessed, pulling her closer onto your bare chest. Your arms wrapped around her, holding her securely as she instinctively nuzzled closer, seeking to melt into you.
âEvery moment with you is my favorite memory⊠ItâsâŠâ You paused, searching for the right words to convey the depth of your feelings. âItâs pure bliss,â you finally said, your voice barely more than a whisper as you leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
âWowâŠâ Jihyo sat there, momentarily speechless. Her wide eyes reflected a mix of disbelief and curiosity. âThat was your dream?â she asked incredulously.
âYes!â you exclaimed, leaning forward in your seat. âIt was like a dream within a dream. I could feel everything so vividly, and it hurt so much when I woke up, like Iâd lost something real.â
Jihyo shook her head in amazement, taking in your words. âNo, yeah, thatâs crazy! I can barely remember my dreams, and if I do, theyâre nothing like thatâhalf the time they donât even make sense,â she said with a laugh.
As you were wrapping up your conversation, Jihyo suddenly glanced at her phone, her eyes widening slightly. âHey, y/n-ah, donât you have work soon?â she asked, tilting her head to the side with a playful smirk.
You shook your head, trying to focus on the task at hand. There was no time to dwell on it now.
~Â
You finished work a bit earlier than usual, it was a rare occurrence. Leaning back in your chair, you loosened your tie, allowing yourself a deep, weary sigh. Between meeting with patients, sending medication forms for approval, and still being in school to pursue your doctorate, free time was a luxury you barely enjoyed. But today, you decided to treat yourself.
You scrolled through a delivery app, finally settling on your favorite dishes. As you added items to the cart, you thought of Momo. She was probably still at your place, taking care of Bread, and you were sure she wouldn't expect you back so early. You added a few of her favorite items to the order
You trudged home with bags of food in hand, you felt the weight of the day slowly lift off your shoulders. The familiarity of home was just what you needed. Finally reaching your apartment, you nudged the door open with your foot.
âIâm home~â you called out, your voice echoing through the hallway. âMomo, I brought food,â you added, setting the takeout bags on the kitchen counter before kicking off your shoes.
Momoâs teasing voice rang out from the living room, âHome early? You get laid off or something?â
You rolled your eyes playfully as you unpacked the food. âHey, if I get laid off, then you suffer too, Miss Dogsitter,â you shot back with a grin. âWell, whatever, I brought you jokbal.â
Her eyes doubled in size as she peeked into the bags. âYouâre the best boss ever,â she declared, her excitement evident as she started unpacking the food.
You knelt down to the ground, your heart warming as Bread hopped over to you, his tail wagging so furiously you were surprised it didnât fly off. âHi, baby~~!â you cooed, scratching behind his ears as he licked your face in greeting.
Momo, already impatiently digging into the food, glanced over at you. âYou okay? How was work? You kinda look like shit,â she remarked, her voice muffled by a mouthful of food.
âOh, wow thanks,â you replied, giving her a gentle nudge. âBut yeah, Iâm good. Just a bit mentally exhausted. I canât seem to get a good nightâs sleep lately.â You sighed, walking over to your living room and settling onto the couch with your food. âWork was fine, though. I actually finished up a bit early, which is why I was able to grab this before the place closed.â
Momo plopped down beside you, still chewing. âOh! I bought you some beer and soju,â she said, swallowing her food. âI know youâve been having those dreams, and I heard alcohol affects your REM cycle. Maybe itâll stop the dreams? Itâs notâor shouldnât beâa permanent fix, but I thought maybe tonight you could use a break and get some better sleep.â She smiled at you, her eyes filled with genuine concern.
You paused, considering her suggestion. âAh~ thatâs not too bad of an idea. It is Friday, after all, so maybe I should try that tonight,â you agreed, digging into your samgyupsal.
After you two finished eating, Momo insisted on cleaning up while you headed to the shower. The hot water cascaded over you, washing away the stress of the day. When you emerged, the scent of food was replaced by the faint aroma of soju and beer. Momo had laid out an impressive selection on the table, and you couldnât help but smile at her thoughtfulness.
You threw on a hoodie and joined Momo on the couch. Sheâd put on a random K-drama. The two of you chatted about anything and everything, the conversation flowing easily as the alcohol took the edge off. By the end of the night, you were both pretty drunk, laughter filling the small apartment as you reminisced about old memories and whatever the hell was on your mind.
When the hour grew late, Momo helped you into a makeshift couch bed, tucking you in. âAlright, get some sleep,â she said softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. âIâll be right next door if you need anything.â
You mumbled a sleepy âthank youâ as she quietly let herself out, heading to her apartment just next door. The room felt warm and cozy, the alcohol buzzing pleasantly in your veins as you drifted off, thinking that maybe tonight, youâd finally get a peaceful nightâs sleep. Momo had said that alcohol could affect your REM sleep, meaning you wouldnât dreamâor at least, you wouldnât remember your dreams. Right? It sounded like exactly what you needed. No more strange visions, no more waking up with a sense of longing. Just sleep. Right!?
But you were wrong.
Out of all the dreams youâd had, this one stood out the most.
Feudal Japan, Taisho Era
For as long as you could remember, your life had been defined by a single purpose: to protect the princess of Japan. These were the direct orders given to you by Lord Chou, the man who had rescued you from the wreckage of your past.
You were just a child, barely five years old, when Lord Chou found you. Cowered in a corner, knees drawn to your chest, you wept as your parents' lifeless bodies lay before you. Raiders had slaughtered them, leaving you orphaned and alone. Lord Chou, who had killed the raiders, initially intended to leave you there, a mere child of poor merchants with no future to speak of. But then, something caught his eyeâa samurai sword lying beside your fatherâs body.
With a furrowed brow, he studied you for a moment before speaking the first words that would change your life forever: âFrom now on, you will be my daughterâs protector. Dedicate your life to her.â
And so you did. From that moment on, every breath you took was in service to those five words. You trained relentlessly, honing your skills until you were one of the finest samurai in all of Japan, sworn to protect Princess Chou with your life.
~
It was the night before a raid, and the atmosphere in the camp was thick with tension. You and your fellow samurai had been informed that you were outnumbered, 80 samurai against an entire army. Death was not just probable; it was certain. But you were not afraid. This was the life you had signed up for, a life that had been gifted to you as a second chance.
You knew what you had to do. But before the sun rose and the battle began, there was one person you needed to seeâone person you had to say goodbye to.
The guards at the palace entrance let you in without question; it was not unusual for you to visit the princess at odd hours, checking in on her safety. Tonight, though, was different. As you approached her quarters, dressed in a simple yogi, you felt the weight of the moment pressing down on you.
âChou-sama, may I come in?â you called softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
âYes,â came the familiar voice from beyond the tatami door. The soft glow of an oil lamp illuminated the silhouette of the princess, her figure graceful and serene.
You slid the door open, revealing the princess still adorned in her elegant jĆ«nihitoe from todayâs farewell ceremony, a sight that made your heart ache with unspoken emotion. She looked up at you with a polite smile, though her eyes held a hint of curiosity.
âHello, Chou-sama. I apologize for the late meeting,â you said, bowing deeply, your forehead nearly touching the floor.
She tilted her head slightly, her smile gentle. âDo you need anything, y/n-san? Itâs quite late.â
âAgain, I apologize for the intrusion,â you began, sitting up from your bow. âI am aware of the hour, but I wanted to say goodbye. I leave at daybreak, and I fear this may be our last time speaking.â
Her face softened, her eyes widening in shock. You had known Princess Chou since you were children, she was always a bubbly and mischievous spirit. (you would usually always take the blame for her.. Unless of course they caught her red-handed) But about 5 years ago when she turned 13, the weight of her responsibilities had turned her serious, her carefree demeanor replaced by a stoicness that rarely broke.
âI see...â she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.
âYes, Princess, that is all I wished to say. Thank you for allowing me to be by your side all these years. I owe my life to you and your family,â you said, bowing once more as you prepared to take your leave.
âTzuyu,â she suddenly announced.
You paused, sitting back on your heels as you looked at her in confusion.
âMy name is Tzuyu,â she repeated. âPlease, call me that.â
In all the 13 years you had served her, you had never known her first name. It was not unusual, given your status as a samurai, once a mere peasant. âItâs a beautiful name... Tzuyu,â you said, the name foreign on your tongue as it seemed disrespectful.
Her tone sharpened, though not unkindly. âAre those your final words to me? Or is there more you wish to say?â
She had always been perceptive, reading your body language and the emotions you struggled to conceal. Your heart ached with the weight of everything you had left unsaid, and your eyes flashed with a sadness you could no longer hide.
âGo on, tell me,â she urged, her gaze softening as the stoic mask she wore began to crumble.
Taking a deep breath, you met her eyes. âYou gave me a reason to live, a purpose that has defined my existence. I have gladly dedicated my life to you, which is why I am honoured to die for you. From the moment we met, I was prepared to sacrifice my life for yours. But while I am unafraid to face death, I am terrified of leaving you behind. You are the only person I have final words for, the most important person in my otherwise meaningless life.â
Her expression remained composed, but you could see the glossiness in her eyes as she listened to your words. âI could speak to my father,â she bargained, her voice monotone. âIf you die, who will be my protector?â
âCho-.. Tzuyu... this is something I must do. It is my duty, the vow I made to your father. I cannot dishonour that promise,â you replied, your heart sinking as the reality of the situation settled in.
âI see,â she said, though her tone betrayed the emotions she struggled to suppress.
âPromise me that youâll come back alive?â She whispered looking at the tatami mat below her
âI promise I will fight until my last breath to return to youâ You said trying to assuage her worries, knowing that survival was futile. She caught it too.
A heavy silence fell between you, both of you lost in thought, searching for the right words to say.
âDo you believe in reincarnation?â she asked suddenly, her voice breaking the silence.
âYes... I believe I do,â you answered, surprised by the sudden question.
âThen promise me that you will find me in the next life. Promise me that youâll never leave my side, that weâll live as normal civilians, free from war,â she said, her voice quivering with vulnerability.
For a moment, the room was silent, her request hanging in the air. Finally, you nodded, your voice steady as you replied, âYes, Tzuyu, I promise. A life where war does not exist, where you need no protection, and I can live peacefully by your side.â
Tears began to spill down her cheeks, the facade of the princess melting away to reveal the woman beneath. The woman you have loved for years. The woman that youâll love in each lifetimeâeach timeline. âKiss me, please. That is an order,â she whispered desperately as her voice broke.
You got up and you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to hers in a kiss that was both tender and desperate, a culmination of years of unspoken feelings. That night, your bodies blended into one, a final act of love and devotion before the sun would separate you forever.
~
The clang of steel echoed around you as you fought relentlessly on the battlefield. Your sword clashed with that of an opposing soldier, your movements swift and precise. With a final thrust, you ended his life, but before you could even take a breath, a sharp pain shot through your back, spreading to your chest.
An arrow.
You gritted your teeth, trying to focus through the searing pain, but another arrow followed. Then another. And another. And another. Four in total, each one piercing through your back and exiting through your chest.
Cowards.
You staggered, blood seeping through your armor, staining the ground beneath you. With every step, your vision blurred, but you kept moving, refusing to fall. The weight of your promise to Tzuyu was the only thing keeping you on your feet. But your body could only endure so much, and eventually, it gave out. You collapsed harshly onto the ground, the earth cool against your burning skin.
As you lay there, the world around you seemed to fade away. The sounds of battle grew distant, and all you could think of was her.
Tzuyu.
Her name was a chant in your mind, a desperate plea that echoed in the void of your fading consciousness.
Tzuyu.
You had promised her, but now you were dying, unable to keep your word. The regret was a weight heavier than any armor, crushing your spirit even as your body lay broken.
Tzuyu...
Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry I couldnât return.
The darkness began to close in, your vision narrowing to a single point before it, too, disappeared. The battlefield, the pain, the regretâall of it vanished into nothingness.
And then, with a jolt, you woke up.
Instead of waking up in your bed,
You woke up on a sandy shore, face down, the gritty texture of the sand pressing against your skin. Your heart pounded in your chest as you jolted awake, not a single ounce of pain surging through your body. Confusion clouded your mind as you pushed yourself up, scanning the unfamiliar surroundings.
The sea whispered softly against the shore, its rhythm almost hypnotic, but your focus quickly shifted to the figure standing not too far from where you had been laying. It was a woman. She was sitting while watching the waves, her long, dark hair swaying gently in the breeze. Something about her presence felt achingly familiar.
You got to your feet, the sand shifting beneath you as you cautiously made your way toward her. As you approached, you could feel your heart racing, a strange mixture of hope and fear building inside you. You sat down beside her, your gaze fixed on the horizon where the sky met the sea.
âWhatâs your name?â her voice was soft, almost ethereal, as she finally spoke.
You hesitated for a moment, your mind racing with possibilities, before you answered, ây/n. Whatâs yours?â Your eyes remained locked on the scenery before you, afraid to look directly at her, afraid to confront the truth.
âItâs.. Tzuyu,â she replied, her voice carrying a weight of unspoken memories.
The name struck you like a bolt of lightning. You turned to look at her, your eyes wide with shock as if the final piece of a complex puzzle had just fallen into place. She mirrored your expression, her own eyes widening in recognition.
âItâs you!?â you both exclaimed in unison, the disbelief in your voices quickly dissolving into laughter, tinged with the relief of finally understanding.
âYouâre the girl in my dreams?â you whispered, your voice trembling as you spoke. Tears began to well up in your eyes, and despite your best efforts, they started to stream down your face. You tried to smile, but the overwhelming emotions made it difficult.
âIt seems so,â she replied, tears trailing down her own cheeks. âEach day I wake up missing you. Iâm just⊠Iâm just really⊠happy to see you, y/n!â Her voice cracked with emotion as she threw her arms around you, pulling you into a tight, desperate embrace.
âMe too, Tzuyu,â you murmured, your voice breaking as your own emotions poured out. Tears fell freely from your eyes, soaking into her shoulder. âEvery morning it hurts to wake up without you.â
Tzuyu sobbed quietly into your shoulder, her body trembling against yours as if holding on for dear life. Her grip tightened, her fingers digging into your back as though afraid you might disappear if she let go.
âI just⊠Iâm sorryâI canât seem to remember you,â she whispered, her voice cracking with frustration and sorrow. âNo matter how much I try, no matter how much I write or draw⊠I canât seem toââ Her voice broke, and she buried her face deeper into your shoulder, her tears soaking through your shirt.
You felt your heart twist, a sharp pang of sadness cutting through the warmth of the moment. You gently patted her back, trying to comfort her, though you knew the weight of what she was saying. âI know, Tzuyu,â you whispered softly. âI donât know how.. but weâre here together now. Thatâs what matters.â
She sniffled, pulling back slightly to meet your gaze, her eyes still glossy with unshed tears.Â
âCan you remember anything before you came here?â
You furrowed your brows trying to remember, âHmm. The last thing I remember before showing up here was⊠I think I was a samurai?â
Tzuyuâs eyes widened in surprise, her breath hitching slightly as your words sunk in. She gazed at you as if the pieces of a puzzle were slowly clicking into place. âYou were⊠my protector?â she asked, her voice trembling with both wonder and disbelief.
You nodded slowly, the memories rushing back in vivid flashesâarmor, sword in hand, standing at her side in a life long past. âYes, Chou-sama.â You chuckled in disbelief and more tears trailed down your cheek as you smiled so brightly
Tzuyuâs eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were differentâtears of recognition, of understanding, of something deeper than memory alone could explain. She cupped your face in her hands, her touch tender as she studied your features like she was trying to memorize every detail.
âI think⊠I think I kind of remember now,â she whispered, her voice shaking. âNot everything, but pieces⊠glimpses of you. Moments and memories with youâ She laughed softly through her tears. âIt sounds crazy, but I think Iâve been searching for you across lives⊠across timelinesâ
You smiled, warmth spreading through your chest. All the moments youâve shared with her flashed in your mindâ finally remembering. âIâve been searching for you too. And somehow, we always find each other.â You brought your hand up to gently wipe a tear from her cheek.Â
âDo you think,â she anxiously began âthat whenever we leave this place, do you think weâll just forget?â she said softly, barely above a whisper
There was a pause in the air. As if you both came to the harsh realization that youâll just be left with the longing for each other.
âI donât want to forget.â
âWhat if we tried to think of a way to remember each other?â She began as if a light bulb appeared above her head âLike hmm⊠do you have a pen orââ
But before she could finish, something strange began to happen. The shore around you started to stretch, elongating in a way that defied all logic. The distance between you and Tzuyu grew longer and longer, pulling her away from your embrace as if some unseen force was tearing you apart.
âWait! No-! y/n!â she cried out, her voice filled with desperation as she reached out for you. She got up and tried to run toward you, but the distance only increased, the shore stretching endlessly between you.
âTzuyu!â you shouted back, your voice breaking with panic. You ran toward her as fast as you could, your hand outstretched, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldnât reach her. The tears in your eyes blurred your vision, but you could still see her hand reaching out for you.
âMy name is Tzuyu! Please.. please donât forget me!â she yelled, her voice trembling as she fought against the ever-expanding distance.
ây/n! Itâs y/n!â you screamed, your voice echoing across the shore as you stretched your hand toward her. You were so close, almost touching her fingersâ
But then you woke up.
You shot up from your couch, your heart hammering in your chest. Tears flowed down your face, the remnants of the dream still clinging to your mind like a fading mist. The emptiness beside you was unbearable, the longing for her presence too much to bear.
You were back in reality, but the pain was still there, fresh and raw, as if the dream had torn open a wound you didnât even know you had.
âNo..wait..â you trembled as tears blurred your vision âNo!â you yelled in frustration causing Bread to shoot his head up from his bed that was placed next to the couch (Thanks Momo)
âWhat... what, god..fuck, what was her name!?â you hyperventilated as you looked at your hand that almost touched hers
âFuck..!â you sobbed âWhy canât I remember her face? Or her name?!â frustration spilled out of you as everything seemed to be on the tip of your tongue yet unable to grasp it
~
The dreams stopped happening.Â
Looking back in hindsight, at the time they wereÂ
Frustrating.
Annoying.
Pesky even.
But now?
More than anything, you missed herâthe girl who had once haunted your nights and now left your days feeling empty
To escape the aching void she left behind, you threw yourself into work, burying the longing under piles of paperwork and endless meetings.You even paid Momo âovertimeâ as you decided to work 12-hour shifts from time to time each week. She never asked why you were suddenly working twelve-hour shifts, though the concern in her eyes said enough..
You even confided in Jihyo about the dreamsâor the lack of them. She suggested you try everything from âshiftingâ podcasts to âlucid dreamâ vibrations on YouTube, but nothing worked. The harder you tried to dream, the more elusive sleep became.
One weekend, you overslept for an alarming number of hours. Momo let herself into your apartment to do a âwellness checkâ. Breadâs excited barks greeted her at the door, tail wagging so hard it looked like he might take off.
ây/n, you okay? Itâs Momo, Iâm worriedâ she announced making her way through your apartment while petting Bread.
She opened up your bedroom door and was greeted by a groggy you(alive and well)
âHmm~?â you mumbled âMomo? What are you doing here? Are you okay?â You said as you plopped back into bed, stretching like a lazy cat
âAm I okay?â she huffed. âYou werenât responding to my texts like you usually do, you vampire! Itâs almost 12:45!â
â12:45?!â You shot up, reaching for your phone in disbeliefâblinking a couple times to focus your eyes. Sure enough, the screen glowed back at you with the timeâ12:37 pm.
âYes, idiot!â she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. âWhateverâI'm just glad you're okay. Seems like Breadâs happy youâre okay too.â she said as Bread made his way onto your bed, licking your face
âAh~ hi baby~! Good mo- afternoon~!â you cooed at him â Sorry for worrying you Momo, I just took melatonin a bit too late I thinkâ you said as you shifted your focus to Momo
âDonât worry, maybe as a thank-you, you should take him on a walk todayâ seems like you need the fresh air more than meâ she chuckled as she settled down on the foot of your bed
âYeah that seems like a good idea, feel like I lost half my dayâ you rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment
âYeah, well.. you kinda did!â she teased
~Â
After cooking bre..lunch with Momo, you got ready for whatever was left of the day and leashed up Bread. You headed out towards the park hoping that it would clear your mind
As you made your way to the crosswalk that was in the direction of the park you usually went to, you noticed a woman on the bus. You recognized her from somewhere. Your soul pulled you to go to her but she was in the lane that was turning left.Â
She met your eyes and jolted towards you as the turn light turned green, causing your body to also jolt forward⊠only to be stopped by the cars that were driving in front of you.
Something inside of you needed to see herâ yearned for her.
So you took the risk. You picked up Bread and weaved through the traffic while multiple cars honked at you.
You made it across the (seemingly) endless crosswalk, the bus she was in made a right turn and you watched her as she locked eyes with you from the back window/door of the bus as she faded into a silhouetteÂ
Defeated and broken.
You made your way to the park. You found a bench and sat down, letting Bread wander within the limits of his leash while you sank into your thoughts. Time seemed to blur as you replayed the fleeting moment over and over in your mind, wondering why it hurt so much.
The leash tugged at your hand, snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see Bread straining toward another dog across the park. Your eyes followed the leash to its owner, and there she wasâthe woman from the bus, walking two dogs of her own.
Your body moved on its own. Like she had some sort of magnet pulling you.
You finally reached her. She was a distance away but it was her. It was for sure, the woman from the bus.
Bread noticed the two dogs and pulled you closer and closer to her before reaching them.
The three of them began sniffing each other and you politely said âOh heâs very curious, sorryâ You gaze focused on the dogs, trying your best to mask the turmoil inside you
âItâs okay,â she let out âthey are tooâ
Awkward silence hung between you, the kind that feels heavy with unspoken words. You finally broke it, the question bursting out before you could stop it.
âHave we met before?â
She tilted her head slightly, as if trying to recall. âI think⊠maybe⊠Ohâ! Youâre the one that bumped into me at the bookstore!â she exclaimed quietly.
A tinge of sadness settled in your heart, as if that wasnât the right answer, or maybe it was just too mundane to explain the ache in your chest. âOhâ! Yeah, thatâs right⊠sorry about that again.â You chuckled, but it was hollow, devoid of real humor.. You swore it wasnât that..Or maybe it was just that. Was it?
Silence hung in the air after she whispered a quiet âitâs okayâ
âWell, I'll let you get on your way. Thanks for letting Bread meet themâ You said as you fought back tears before (quite literally) tugging Bread away
âNo problem, I thank you too..â she called after you, her voice tinged with a sadness that matched your own.
You two began to part ways
Why did your heart hurt so bad? Why does it feel like the Earth itself is laying on your chest right now?
Tears cascaded down your cheeks as you fought tooth and nail to keep walking away, lightly tugging on Breadâs harness as he also wanted to go back
You were almost to the turn out of the park before you heard a voice yell a familiar name
âTzuyu!âÂ
You froze, turning around slowly, your heart pounding in your chest. There she was. The lost memories of her rushed back into your mind. The woman from the bookstore, the bus, your dreams. Tears streaked her face, but she was smilingâa radiant, beautiful smile that lit up her entire face.
âMy name is Tzuyu!â she said again, her voice trembling with emotion, a laugh escaping her lips as another tear raced down her dimpled cheek.
You felt your own smile forming, though it felt awkward and lopsided, as if you werenât quite sure how to use your face anymore. âTzuyu-ya!â you called back, your voice cracking with emotion.
âI feel⊠I feel like I know you!â you said, the words tumbling out of you, raw and desperate.
Her smile grew even wider, if that was possible. âI.. I feel the same way!â she replied, walking closer to you with each step.
âI think we finally found each other, Tzuyu.â You began closing the distance between you two
A tear slipped down her cheek, but she was smiling, a smile that spoke of happiness, of a future you could finally share.
âIâm so glad,â she whispered, stepping closer, her arms wrapping around you in a tight, desperate embrace. âIâm so glad I found you.â
You held her close, feeling her warmth, her heartbeat against yours while tears streamed down your face. The world seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of you, together at last.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt at peace. The dreams, the longing, the months of searchingâthey had all led you here, to this moment, to her.
intro: hi (˶ᔠᔠá”˶) I'm ky and hehe I decided to become more active and share my kpop brainrot thoughts with you â ⥠I'm in grad school so this is something I do when I have free time-- sorry in advance if I'm not consistent lmao (á”âą_âą)
groups: solely ggs lmao I love all women but i mainly listen to dreamcatcher, twice, aespa, itzy, NMIXX, ARTMS, le sserafim, f5ve, new jeans, bp, ive, gfriend, baby monster etc (i just listed all the groups from my playlist lolz)
My dm's/asks are always open! I'd love to be friends and mutuals with you!