#kyoyadrabble

When he was a kid, he learned with the teachers that a safe place was in their parent's arms, in their hugs, in their love, in their presence. If the kid didn't have parents or their parents didn't feel safe, they would say a relative or the house, even a room.

Yet none of those felt true for Hibari, his parents weren't at home, and the house always felt cold, his room felt more like a cell than a warm place. He couldn't understand what safety was no matter how much he tried, even for a kid he was too smart, so he just dropped the question.

But if there is something Hibari Kyoya learned very well it is what Unsafe was.

If he left something in the middle of the way and forgot about it, he would stumble and fall, which was unsafe for him physically. If he said something wrong to the wrong person, he would be scolded, which was unsafe for him mentally. If he tried to form some connection, it was unsafe for him emotionally.

Weirdly enough, he couldn't find anything that was safe, but he could make a long list of what was unsafe for him and as he grew older, Hibari Kyoya's list of unsafety only grew more and more with him. True he found a couple of things that felt safe.

By the age of sixteen, his physical strength and his lack of interest in anything and everything, made him feel safe. There was no way, he could be hurt that way.

Until that... He lost.

And he didn't feel safe anymore, because what was protecting him physically wasn't there anymore, his strength wasn't enough. He couldn't believe that he was bested by illusions, he couldn't believe that... But also he didn't feel safe in his own mind, since he believed in illusions.

He sat down in there, reflecting on it himself, there was nothing else making him feel safe, while everything seems lost, it also made him pissed and upset. He couldn't give up, he was strong, he just needed to be stronger, train more, and figure out what the illusions were.

Hibari Kyoya needed to focus on that, he needed to keep his mind on that, he wasn't going to let the despair of feeling unsafe take over him. Because if he did... If he stopped to think how useless everything was... there would be no return.

He knew he would fall into a hole so deep and so dark that no one would be able to pull him back, he may as well be one of those comatose people, who is conscious but lost their soul. He knew the darkness that he was suppressing very well.

So out of spite, out of anger, he was going to focus on being stronger, after all, there were only two things that made him feel safe, his strength and his mind. And he could do it. He could be stronger, he needed to be.

And he did. He trained and trained, more and more, harder and harder, as well as getting involved with Vongola. That, while it wasn't fully welcomed, helped in his process of becoming stronger. Also, slowly, he would figure out what illusions were, and what the Mist Flames were, and with that, not only be able to counter them but also produce the flames on his own.

He also had to slowly interact with the Vongola Guardian, liking or not, and that... For some odd reason felt... Safe? For once he felt safe in trusting the Tenth Generation of the Vongola Guardians.

Hibari Kyoya felt safe with a bunch of Herbivores and a crowd.

And that... That is when he broke down.

When he was 20 years old, he literally broke down, the years of suppressing the abyss of darkness from not being safe at all, took its toll on him. No one could say exactly what was wrong, as physically nothing was wrong with him.

Instead of the hospital wing, he was brought to his own room, the house he built to feel safe, and actually somewhat felt safe. Kusakabe not only did his work but also kept taking care of him while Hibari was broke, because he believed, believe that Hibari Kyoya would come back stronger.

During that time, Kusakabe made everything for Hibari Kyoya to feel safe, but also cared and loved. Purely platonic of course. Some of the Tenth Generation of the Vongola Guardians came to visit him and talk to him, weirdly enough even Rokudo Mukuro visited him.

For Hibari Kyoya, all of that felt weird. He didn't feel like he was in his body, he only felt the darkness around him, he hated that, every day he looked around he was trapped in that dark ball, much similar to Roll's ability. He felt the air thin, he felt everything around him draining him, that unsafety he hated and he fought. Fought so hard to push away.

"But... How about... Do you try to embrace it? Accept that... it's part of you, accept it's part of your past and present. Being weak isn't a bad thing. Relying on people who you trust and trust you back, isn't a bad thing... You have friends who care... So... You can accept this now."

The words that he heard... Weirdly enough came from the last person he expected. Rokudo Mukuro. But that made him think, was Mukuro right? What he meant exactly by that?

"Thank you for helping me when I needed... Now... Please let me help you."

It was simple, something that he didn't think she needed to thank him, even so, Dokuro Chrome's word, made him accept that, although small for him, it was a big thing for her.

"I'm your first friend, why don't you rely more on me? I know I'm weaker than you, but I will still help you as extreme as I can!"

Was that... The so-called friendship? Was that what this means? Was friendship something like that? Why... He felt safe? Sasagawa Ryohei had a weird way to get along with him.

"Maa maa... Hibari, when you will wake up? I'm doing my best to keep Namimori School the way you like it, but I really don't fit for that."

Haaa... so Yamamoto Takeshi was the one taking care of the school? For some reason... Hibari always thought that he fit way more as a P.E. teacher than what they do now... It was good to know that the School was in good hands... Was that relying upon him?

"Hibari-san... I... I know I'm no good for nothing Tsuna, but... I'm a boss now, right? I can do things. So, please... Tell me how I can help to diminish your workload?"

It was funny to hear Sawada Tsunayoshi say that, once he never wanted to be the boss, and now, not only he was but was also using it to their favor.

"Oi Hibari! Until when are you going to stay like this?! They said you had a mental breakdown? You are the strongest guy I know, not only physically but mentally. Did the years take a toll on you? You know... I related to that. Although mine was suicidal. But hey, we are all waiting for you. You now have a family who won't abandon you. Thicker than blood. So come on, get up and come call me Herbivore."

Gokudera Hayato... Not only smart but on point.

Hibari Kyoya thought for a moment that he didn't need friends, allies, or whatever, all he needed was his own strength and his own distance from people. But in the end, as he grew older he learned... He finally learned one thing else that was safe.

True friendship, although very hard to come by, when it actually happens it is very safe to keep it.

The darkness around him was still thick, but he could see some light in it. So that... That is what it meant. Hibari still couldn't understand what was the safety of a parent, he barely understood the safety of a house/room. But now he had one more thing, and that felt oddly relieving.

As if a weight were lifted off from his chest as he looks around. Sure things didn't change much, he pretty much still preferred to believe only in his own strength and only in his own mind. Yet... A small part of him wanted to believe in the thing that Sawada Tsunayoshi once said.

That they were waiting for him to return and that they wanted to him return, as he brought himself out of that hole, for once he wasn't scared of being unsafe, no... Embracing that as a part he needed to move on, only knowing what was unsafe would he be able to find more safety. Even if it is once every decade.

After the breakdown, Hibari was slightly different, at least around the guardians only. He talked with them a bit more, and he also was more open to accepting missions with one other guardian, cooperating a little more. Weirdly enough, for Hibari that felt... Right.

Slowly building that trust between them. Sure he was aware that betrayal was a thing, that is probably why in his heart he kept that still cold and stoic presence, just so he wouldn't be hurt if he was betrayed.

But for now? For now, he was going to embrace it.

Not only the unsafety but also the weakness, the fear, the anxiety... Everything that once he pushed away.

Strangely enough, by doing that he got stronger, not only physically but emotionally and mentally. Albeit one thing he made sure to do every day, was to be at least 1 hour alone, either nap or just drinking tea while watching his garden. That helped a lot with his mind recovery.

Safety wasn't the warm and fluffy feeling that he was taught when he was a kid, Unsafety totally was exactly how they taught, and while he took so long to learn that, he finally did.

So he could say that he felt safe... He felt safe around his friends.

He could hear the sound of steps outside his room, he was pretty sure it wasn't that close. Fuck he could even hear the sound of whatever they were talking outside! That was the worst he had felt in a while, the migraines that he always had were nothing compared to that, Gokudera Hayato knew exactly what that meant, and he wasn't looking forward to that.

Slowly breathing, as the sound of his own breath was loud, he didn't know what to do right now, they had sensory deprivation chambers down, but that meant going out and actually walking there. He didn't want to open his eyes, even less walking around his room, he couldn't use his phone as it was also too bright.

So all he could do was curl in his bed, covering his head with the pillow and praying it would soon stop. But there was no such luck as his door opened with a bang.

"TACO-HEAD! GET OUT OF BED!"

He shook and actually whimpered, it couldn't be worse, as the Storm started to shake and tremble, everything was back to 10000% again, the sudden light coming into his eyes from Ryohei taking the pillow, the sudden sound of crashing that the door was doing. The storm was now clawing at his ears, closing his eyes tightly, screaming as he kept hurting his ears to make the sound stop.

Ryohei frowned at that, he might not be the smartest but one thing he knew was, that that wasn't normal and in situations like this there was only one thing he could do, run away from where he was as he looked for help.

Hayato was still clawing at his ears, hoping that would stop the noises, the pounding in his head.

"See! I told you! That is not normal to extreme!"

As Ryohei was back to being as loud again, the storm just clawed more at his ears, now drawing blood from it. Not only that but also clawing at his clothes, everything was too much, as he just wanted to stop it.

"Shut up." That was a more quiet voice, but even so, it was still too loud for Hayato. "Roll." The sound of a box being opened and then a soft "Kuuu?" That was the last thing that Gokudera could hear before he was trapped in a dark sphere.

The storm tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't see anything. There was no more sound, which felt weird yet, so relaxing at the same time. As he takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly, sitting down as he moves the least possible.

He wasn't feeling, hearing, or seeing anything, just the pure darkness and the complete silence. That felt like heaven, as he lay down and relaxed completely. In a few moments though, he could feel the sphere being undone and his body inside one of the sensory deprivation chambers, as he now could close his eyes again.

Later he would have to worry about thanking Ryohei for finding him, even though he made it worse, but he did help by bringing Hibari. So he would need to worry about that later. Taking off his clothes and then grabbing the earplugs, the capsule was closed as he let himself pass out.

Hibari Kyoya also hated with everything within him a man called Rokudo Mukuro his hate came from a lost battle that he never accepted as he thought that illusions were cheap cheats and so that his loss shouldn't have been counted.

With that said there was one more certainty about Hibari Kyoya.

Hibari Kyoya was obsessed with keeping the order and the building of Namimori High School perfect. As the head prefect, he made sure that everything was smooth that every student followed the rules, and even kept the troublesome students in check.

Students were scared of him, and adults feared him and respected him. The school was sacred and if Hibari Kyoya wasn't in the school he was at his home, only in those two places. Sometimes he was found in the streets, subjugating scoundrels from another school who talked bad about his school.

"His school", because Namimori High School was his, and no one else. The order to keep it running as smoothly as possible was for him and no one else. The head prefect kept tabs on all students and professors, even if they came from Kokuyo.

Dokuro Chrome, the new girl, the newly transferred student. She came around a few months back and while Hibari had everything against a certain illusionist, he had nothing against the girl.

The girl was shy, often quiet, and introverted, and the only people she talked to sometimes were Sasagawa Kyoko and Tsuna, she did absolutely nothing against him. So there was no reason for Hibari Kyoya to have resentments or not help her if she needed to.

So that is why, that is the only reason why, he was currently carrying Chrome's body all across the city to Kokuyo land. The place he vowed never ever step in again, the place he knew that the pineapple illusionist would be, the place that the person he hated the most would be.

Taking a long breath as his weapons were secured between his skin and his shirt still, making sure that Chrome was comfortable in his arms. There was only one reason for him to bring her back there, especially now that she was using the Namimori female uniform.

He kicks the door to the grand theater where he finds the Male Mist Guardian. We need to talk. Does Hibari actually want to talk with Mukuro? Never. But is he going to? Yes. Looking around there weren't many places he could let Chrome's body rest other than the floor and that? He wasn't going to do it. Instead, he was just going to hold Chrome's body.

"Oya Oya, what a great honor ~"

Hibari was annoyed just by looking at Mukuro's smug face, but he tried to control it as best as he could. Why did you leave her? What was the use of talking with the Illusionist? There was no reason for Hibari to go out of his way to talk with the other, he had no noble reason.

"Because she has no more use" Yet something twisted inside of him when he heard that answer, he felt somewhat pissed at Mukuro, still trying to control his anger though. You sure are full of bullshit huh?

"What do you mean?" The satisfaction of seeing Mukuro confused was short-lived, after all, his blood was slowly boiling at the other's words, sure Hibari felt annoyed and angry with the Illusionist every time he saw him, but this time, it was because of the girl still in the Cloud's arms. There is no way, you would leave someone as strong as her. So why did you leave her and pushed to Namimori?

Mukuro was annoyed, not only he wasn't sure what the Cloud Guardian wanted, but he was also not sure where this conversation was going. Not only that, it felt like Hibari knew something and wasn't telling, but instead, he was showing it. And his pride? Couldn't handle that. "... For a cloud you sure are curious."

Hibari shook his head, walking towards the door and letting Chrome's body there, going back to the middle and then pulling his tonfas out. Rokudo Mukuro, fight me. His blood was boiling, it would be better explaining in a fight than in words between the two.

Confusion hit the Illusionist, in a way it took way too long for Hibari to ask for a fight so now he was really not sure. There were so many questions going around in his mind. He couldn't help but voice one of them. Why? It wouldn't be entertaining

Without a warning, Hibari advanced towards Mukuro, intending to hit his body with the tonfa, not using any cloud as they always went only physical power from the starter. Yet where normally they both once held the same grounding, seemed like something changed drastically, as Mukuro was getting hit by the tonfa.

The illusionist frowned at that, the physical between them was balanced in that aspect so, losing to him in that sucked a lot. He felt annoyed, as he kept trying and trying to wing against those dammit Tonfa! But all he could get was either get hit or not landing his own hits. That is when he started to use the Mist Flames and illusions.

And even then, the Cloud Guardian used both flames, and yet the results kept being the same, as Hibari was dodging or ignoring the attacks. Something changed and bad, as Mukuro was losing to Hibari.

You are weaker. Hibari said once he stopped at a safe distance, not even sweating, something in his made Mukuro scowl, not liking any bit of it. "What?" His voice came out bitter as he tried another attack, only to be met by Kyoya's tonfa hitting the side of his stomach.

You were stronger before, now? Now you are weaker. That statement made the Cloud, hold his weapons back to the place he normally hides in his clothes as he looks at Mukuro, shaking his head.

"... How?" Hibari saw how much Mukuro was hurt about the difference between them now, but there was room for the Illusionist to get on equal grounds again. Although Hibari hated to ask for help, he knew he wouldn't create that big gap between them if it wasn't for that Bronco or the fights between Vongola and the rest. And he intended to pay back, every single one who "helped" him. You never realized it? You need Chrome the same way she needs you.

Hearing that, the Cloud jumped from the place he was and then closed his eyes, as the illusion that hit him didn't affect him. "That is a lie! I don't need her!" The frustration built up on the Illusionist's face, not only his pride being hurt but the fact because he didn't want to bring Chrome to his revenge he was weaker? He wouldn't be able to act his revenge without her?! That was bullshit!

But you do and until you realize it? There is no reason to fight you. Hibari opens his eyes and lands a kick in Mukuro's stomach, making the Illusionist fly back to the couch he was sitting before. Until you realize that...

"There is no one else to turn to..." Mukuro says the words as he sits down, hands over his face as he hears Hibari leaving. "Fuck." His shoulders fall, as the whole fight disappears from him as he thinks over and over about Hibari's words. The Cloud was right, if he wanted to be stronger to where no one could defeat him, he needed Chrome, but how that is fair? How is fair to drag an innocent girl to Mafia?! Just so he could get his revenge?!

A grunt, made him look at the girl's body, slowly moving to sit down. Mukuro took a deep breath, the talk he had previously with the female made him realize one thing. "You knew..."

Chrome blinked as she took her surroundings, getting up and walking towards Mukuro, stopping in front of him, as she nodded. Yes. I got stronger when I realized there was no one else to turn to, only Mukuro-sama. When we work together we are stronger. If we get along, we might be the strongest. But if we keep separated? I'm not sure...

The words of the younger illusionist hit him, similar to what the Cloud just said. "....... Why he?" He couldn't understand why Hibari would take his time to go there and even bring Chrome with him, he could understand Hibari going there to fight him, but all he read from the whole interaction was that Hibari was there to actually help him.

Because the idea of you being weak annoys him... He wants a fair fight, he wants the best you can be... Chrome points out the fact that before she passed out, she did fight Hibari a little, where he probably noticed the difference. Or something small, yet the girl didn't expect him to carry her all the way there. But knowing the Cloud, that whole act made her realize how the older actually cares and takes care.

"... We need to talk." Mukuro words sounded dejected and tired, but holding the acceptance and even opening a connection. Yes, we do. Chrome nods and just sits next to him on the couch, as they really had a lot to make amends and to bond together if they wanted to be their best, they would need to talk... And a lot.

Hibari looked back at the entrance of Kokuyo land, he was prideful and never asked for help, he hated a man called Rokudo Mukuro, but sure he was obsessed with keeping his school organized and in order.

So years after when he was free from that trash, he thought... He would never hear that phrase again. Or at least, not from someone he loved.

Hayato was able to find love and care from a nice woman, well at least she was at the start of their relationship. He loved the woman with all his heart, and he genuinely changed for her, slowly stopping getting into fights and working harder to earn more money.

Sure he spent less time with the Family that he loved so much, but they all seemed to be genuinely happy that Hayato was for once living his life. So they didn't care too much. Sure the woman was worth it if their Storm was putting so much time and care at it, even if they never met her, sure, he knew how to choose.

But one day turned into a week, a week turned into a month, and before they knew it, the Storm went no contact for a whole half year.

Meanwhile, the Storm was fully diving into his work, the girl required more and more of him, to the point where he spent more working than staying with her, and the little he was with her, it felt... Like she wasn't there. Always focused on her phone.

One night tiredly from his work he went back to find her and hug her, just needing a bit of comfort, yet he was met with a slap into his face. "Why are you holding me?! Always, always invading my personal space! You always make everything worse!" Hayato was genuinely confused at that.

The phrase hit hard him, he never thought he would hear that again, especially from someone he loved. Blinking confused, he just stood there for a while, before going back to his house. That night, the Storm just sat there drilling a hole in his wall with his eyes.

The girl called the next day, furious at him. "Why didn't you deposit the money?! Che, you always make everything worse! Do something good and go work!"

Here that phrase again, as the storm let the phone fall and just kept drilling a hole in his wall with his eyes. Something inside of him broke and he wasn't sure what, he was also lost and trying to remember what the fuck happened with his life and with his girlfriend. Where did he go wrong?

Gokudera could hear the sounds of his heartbreaking, the glass breaking and shattering, as well as the sound of it slowly falling.

The next thing he knew, was the sound of a door breaking, and getting inside was Hibari, the school prefect, still, he didn't have a reaction or even any word as he just stayed there broken.

Apparently, Tsuna sent Hibari to catch him, and it would be better to be Hibari because if the Storm fought back at least the Cloud could handle it and still do his job. But what the Skylark didn't expect was how lifeless Hayato looked.

The Storm was pale, emotionless, a statue sitting in his room, not even flinched when the door was destroyed, even Hibari found that strange as he grabbed the other and threw him over his shoulder. He would let the herbivore boss deal with that, as he made Tatsuya stay and make sure that the house was safe and no one would get inside.

After all, yes while Hibari destroyed the door, he wouldn't let anyone else get inside and steal or destroy the Storm's house. But also, the Cloud was fucking confused at why Hayato wasn't reacting, it seem like his soul left his body as there was no sound coming from him or even a fight to get picked up.