probably one of the most frustrating experiences about growing up as a transfem is the years you waste listening to transmisogynistic queer/trans people because you think they're authorities you are supposed to learn from due to their identities since all the tme people around you cant see the transmisogyny and you havent learned to see it either, and spending huge chunks of your time reading feminist lit and articles, critically examining your views, your actions, the way you move through the world and interact with others, to de-entangle yourself from the concept of "male socialization" and the misogynistic assumptions and expectations patriarchy teaches everyone, because all these queer people and other important people in your life always told you how important it is to "take responsibility" and be mindful to catch these things and be better, and then for the next eternity you get to watch dork after dork with pronouns in bio absolutely refuse to engage with women characters and prefer to watch their favorite "male" characters in media pathetically fall on his face and go "LOL hes such a woman genderfailure😭😭my favorite effete helpless damselboy he's not even in the shadow of real men omgg" and you get to realize ohh wait so literally none of you actually gave a shit about growing and unlearning and challenging patriarchy and its implications at all because you thought your identities made you perfect masters of that knowledge and you were just all virtue signalling to alienate and be dicks the entire time. ohhhh
