#ktorne

They have a proven history in publishing and worked at a publishing house (one of the top five, or one of the big players right below the top five like Bloomsbury and the like)

They have worked for other literary agencies before (and make sure to note what sort of work, assistant literary agent? Was an internship? Have they interned for multiple places, or just the one?)

They are specific about where they worked (The vague “with a decade of work in publishing” or “having worked for years at a publisher” is not okay — if they aren’t willing to say specifics, it’s probably because they don’t actually have great experience. Either they’re making it up, or they worked at a small digital press that isn’t actually training for becoming a literary agent.)

They have a long history working at the current agency they are at, and they have sales to backup that long history. (If they aren’t new, but have been at this agency or another for a long time and have the sales to back up their agenting then you’re good to go too.)

If they don’t have one or a combination of the above, then red flags should be popping up all over the places for you. Don’t even query them.

WARNING SIGN 2: THEY MAKE THE OFFER DEADLINE

When they offer, they make a deadline for you. They say they need to hear from you within the week, or worse, within the next 24-48 hours. I know of a few agents that sell well at prestigious literary agencies will do this, but it’s bad practice and I would never sign — or recommend a friend or client — sign with someone like that.

It’s your book. It’s your career. I don’t care how badly they want your book or to represent you, if they respect you, they will give you the time you need. If they make the deadline, they aren’t respecting you (they’re actually bullying you) and just imagine what it would be like to work with them.

WARNING SIGN 3: THEY’RE PUSHY AF

This is after the offer has been made. Are they sending you nudging emails while you are discussing offers with other agents? Or while you are still taking your time to decide? It’s great if they are enthusiastic, it’s another thing entirely if they are being emotionally manipulative. Worse is when they email “so have you made a decision yet?” “have others offered?” things like that over and over again during the process.

If you feel like someone is being too pushy with you and it rubs you the wrong way, trust yourself.

You deserve to take your time making decisions. You really, really do. You put in all that work to write the book, you deserve to make the best decision for you. Truly, no agent is better than the wrong agent. The wrong agent can derail your career for years.

WARNING SIGN 4: THEIR SALES HISTORY IS NONEXISTENT OR WITH NOT-SO-GREAT PLACES

This is a very important thing to look up. I have talked with writers who didn’t bother to check sales history before signing or knew that the sales history just wasn’t there and decided to sign anyway and take that risk. Years later, they still regret it.

Truth is, it’s not easy to make money as a literary agent — and if they are new and not making the money they need to make within the first three years, they usually close up shop and change their profession. So beware, you could sign with someone and be orphaned when they realize they can’t make any money off of it.

But if they have no sales history, and no proven history in publishing, then it’s time to really think about whether you want to work with them or not.

More importantly, if you notice their sales history is only to digital publishers that take unagented submissions run for the hills. You could sell to those places and not give 15% of your money to the agent. If you are signing with an agent, it’s probably because you want to end up with a place that you can’t get to without them, right?

WARNING SIGN 5: THEY PROMISE BIG

If they are promising you the moon and the stars for lunch tomorrow, chances are they aren’t going to deliver it. Even the greatest agents can’t guarantee they will sell something. They can be really optimistic and think there is a great chance at it, but if they are promising you a 6-figure deal with your dream publisher and a TV deal, that’s a red flag. Good agents know better than to set up unrealistic expectations like that.

But there’s a flip side to this: Even if they have the sales history to seem like they can guarantee a big sale, it’s definitely what they are expecting to happen. So what if it doesn’t happen? What if your book doesn’t sell right away in a 6-figure deal to the editors they think it will sell to? That’s not a reflection on you or your book, but on timing often — maybe editors aren’t acquiring as much fantasy all of a sudden, maybe they just acquired a book and can’t acquire another like it.

If they are expecting it to sell right away, and sell big, and it doesn’t their enthusiasm in you could die out. It seems harsh — it is harsh, an agent should be invested in you for your career, not just for one payout — but I have actually seen this happen. I’ve seen writers be promised the moon and the stars by certain agents and when they didn’t actually get the moon and the stars they were suddenly dropped by those agents or it was impossible to get those agents to reply to their emails.

So 9 out of 10 times, if they are promising big, it’s not good.

YOU DESERVE BETTER

You deserve better than all of this. I know how much you want an agent when you’re querying but there are better agents out there for you. Maybe this book you are querying doesn’t land you an agent, but you don’t know the potential for the next book your query yet. It took me three books to get an agent. There’s no shame in that. And if I had signed with the agent most interested in my second book, I’d have regretted it.

MISTAKE 2: TOO LONG QUERY / SYNOPSIS

Query letters should be around 250 words. Not hugely long, not one full page, not two pages. You don’t want to tell the entire story, aka a synopsis, in the query. You want to cover the first 2/3 of the story. When I glanced over the slush pile, if I saw a query letter that was hugely long it was already a point against it because that usually meant overwriting in the novel, or that they didn’t actually know what their plot was, so their query was all over the place.

You are doing yourself a disservice by not following the query letter guidelines: 250-300 words. Not more. (Though if you have a really killer bio filled with important information, that could push your query to 350 and be totally acceptable.)

MISTAKE 3: COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR THE SUBMISSION GUIDELINES

Like #1, I do not understand why a writer wouldn’t look at the submission guidelines before querying an agent. Where do you get their email address from? From the submission guidelines page! So why wouldn’t you take the extra ten seconds to read what they want to see?

If the agent wants to see pages, and you don’t send pages … that’s not good. What if they are on the fence about your query? If they have a full client list, they aren’t going to take the time to ask for more pages because they are on the fence; they needed those pages to really determine if your writing style jived with them. They are more likely to reject you and move on to the next query.

MISTAKE 4: NOT DOING YOUR RESEARCH / STRETCHING IT

Doing your research is vital. You can save yourself rejection by doing it. You can also personalize your query and set yourself apart by doing it.

For example, one literary agent can be widely known for being a horror fan. However, if you look at her profile page, you’ll see she clearly states:

“I am no longer looking at science fiction and I have never accepted paranormal/supernatural/fantasy.“

So … she isn’t interested in paranormal. She isn’t interested in supernatural. But she still got a lot of queries for paranormal horror, supernatural horror, and sometimes even fantasy horror (at least when I was her assistant). But since Bree is known for being a horror fan, people will still query her with paranormal horror because they think—she wants horror.

It’s a stretch, and obviously not true. It’s also an avoidable rejection if you read her profile. This is true with a lot of agents. There is probably another agent at the same agency that would fit with you better anyway.

MISTAKE 5: BEING POMPOUS

Declaring you are the next best thing — that you are the next JK Rowling or Dan Brown or Gillian Flynn, well, guess what? You probably aren’t. I’m sorry. You might be, but no one likes a pompous person. Don’t be pompous. No one wants to work with a pompous person. (Have I made the whole pompous = bad case repetitively enough yet?)

It’s a turnoff and a waste of space to go on and on about why your book is awesome, why you are obviously the next Stephen King, etc., etc… You would be doing yourself a favor by showing the agent your book is awesome with a strong query letter and strong opening pages.

Truth: This is interconnected with the first myth but different. Some people are under the false assumption that just because you have an agent, it means your book will for sure sell. The truth is: nope. There is no guarantee it will sell. If an agent promises you that, there’s something sketchy about the situation. Any good agent will prepare you for the possibility that the book won’t sell.

Be prepared for this possibility. And be working on the next book, the best way to keep your mind of submission (or querying) is to be writing your next book.

MYTH #3: MY AGENT IS GOING TO BE MY NEW BFF.

Truth: Not really. I know some people who are BFFs with their agents. I know a lot of us aren’t. It’s a working relationship, and I like it that way. I really like my agent, she’s easy to talk to and super sweet. We’re going to meet for drinks later this month and everything. But it’s really more a colleague like relationship rather than a BFF one.

I don’t think you need to be BFFs. I think you need to be comfortable with each other, and feel like you can email them whenever you need to and visa-verse, but don’t go into it thinking that you have to be BFFs or that you’ve failed if you aren’t your agent’s new BFF.

MYTH #4: IF MY FIRST BOOK DOESN’T SELL, MY AGENT WILL DROP ME. *INSERT PANIC*

Truth: I would love to say this is a totally false assumption, but it’s not. I’ve known some people who sign contracts for one book and then if it doesn’t sell, they will discuss whether to go forward with the author/agent relationship for the next book. However, this is not the norm. Most agents sign you on for the long haul. They recognize that selling a book is hard, and selling that book is really on them, not you. 

If the book doesn’t sell, that’s not your fault. You aren’t the one with the publishing connections. I’ve had friends who are all panicky over their first book not selling and thinking their agents are so disappointed in them—only for them to talk to their agent about this, and it turns out the agent also feels bad and is worried that their client is disappointed in them.

This is why communication is important. Generally, whether a book sells or not has a lot to do with timing and luck. So if it doesn’t sell, that’s not on you. That’s not even on the agent (most of the time).

To avoid this anxiety, talk with your agent. Make sure you are the same page about your next project and know what the game plan for subbing that one will be.

MYTH #5: MY BOOK WILL SELL AND I WILL BE RICH *MWHAHAHA*

Truth: Haha, no. Just no. So much no here.

Writing is not something to do to make money, trust me. Most advances are on the small scale. If you are debuting and lucky, you’ll get a 20,000 advance (broken up over the span of two years). Most get less. A few (very few) get more. It depends on the situation. But don’t go into it thinking you will get a huge advance, or else you’ll be disappointed.

Go into it wanting the best editor and imprint for your book. Being an author is about the long-term career path, which is another thing to talk to your agent about. Make sure you both are in agreement what you want out of your career. Let’s say, for example, you had your heart set on a physical book deal but you ended up with a Bloomsbury Sparks (digital first) deal. There are so many advantages to ending up with Sparks—you get to form connections at Bloomsbury. That’s a house an author can stay at for their entire career. So even though you don’t get the big money or the physical book, you have a great first step and a house that will support you and your book.

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FIRST: CHECK THE AGENT’S WEBSITE

The agent or agency will often have somewhere on their website that states when they welcome writers to nudge. They might say they read within the next six weeks or two months, and nudge if you haven’t heard from them since. But what if the agent’s website doesn’t say?

FOR FULL REQUESTS:

Three to six months. You really should wait at least three months before you nudge. If you feel three months is too soon, then try for six months. Most writers nudge either at three months or six. Those are the two golden periods.

FOR PARTIAL REQUESTS:

Three months. Three months is definitely the standard for Partial Requests.

FOR QUERIES:

You DON’T. Sorry, but it’s very unusual to nudge on queries. Unless the agency website specifically says you can nudge. There are a few that do, but others usually just have a NO RESPONSE/NO INTEREST policy.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN NUDGING

Be pushy.

There really are very little things more annoying when dealing with a query slush pile than a writer who continuously emails about a partial or full or query–once or twice, in regards to a partial, is completely fine.

Five times about a query you just sent last month? Not so much.

Agents want to find clients they will work well with, so put your best foot forward. Don’t look like you are going to be difficult to work with.

Imagine this, if you are pushy about a query or a full or a partial—what does that say about you overall? The whole publishing process is a long hard road, and patience and determination are very important. Don’t look like you’re impatient. No one wants an impatient client.

Also being pushy is rude. It’s like you’re telling the agent that they don’t have anything better to do than serve you right then and there—someone who isn’t even their client yet. Agents make no money off reading queries or partials or fulls.

Agents make their money when they sell manuscripts, so it’s kind of crazy to think about how much time they spend reading potential clients work that may never make them any money.