#bt-yes-network

Coming up with these rules was inherently simple – everyone agreed and no one protested. It was a combination of everyone’s input. The last one, which definitely received a lot of odd looks, was more directed at you in particular. To which Yoongi was the only one who laughed, knowing well of your feelings for a certain one of the housemates. But regardless, it ended up on the board. You can’t say for certain if every person in this house is straight, as it is really none of your business anyway, but clearly they had felt the need to cover all their bases. Either that, or they somehow thought it a good idea to bring attention to your unfortunate relationship-less lifestyle for whoever else happened to walk through the door and see the large chalkboard in the entryway. And you wouldn’t be surprised considering you are a surrounded by a bunch of imbeciles who love to rub it in your face that you are essentially the loner of the group.

Over the past year of living together, one thing you can appreciate is that none of these rules have been severely broken. Although, according to Yoongi, there is one person in particular who just doesn’t know proper volume control.

“If I have to listen to another girl’s scream come out of Jimin’s room at 3 am, I might actually kill him.” Of all the people in the house, Yoongi is the only one to have ever heard anything of the sort. Which, you suppose, doesn’t surprise you considering he is a really light sleeper. Even after investigating on several occasions, scouring the house for signs of another girl, even any hints of perfume or strands of hair that weren’t blatantly yours, there has never been any evidence. Jimin, very adamantly, always denies this as well.

“I didn’t even have anyone over last night! Why do you always think it’s me, what about Jungkook? What if it was Y/N jacking off?” Slapping his arm, you’re offended at his insinuation. As if you would ever make that kind of scene while masturbating with them still in the house. What are you, a heathen?

“Actually, she was in my bed so I know it couldn’t have been her. Jungkook’s room is on the other side of the house. So it could have only been you.” Sitting beside Yoongi on the couch, you aid in glaring Jimin down. Clearly at a loss for words, he throws his hands up in defeat.

“You know whenever I bring someone over, why would I only hide it sometimes. But fine, don’t believe me. What are you gonna do, kick me out?” Rolling your eyes, you lean back against the cushion, waiting for Yoongi to deliver the final blow.

“No. But you can make up for it by being on bathroom duty for the rest of the month.” As much as you would have liked to maintain your stoic demeanor, you can’t help but smile at the way Jimin drops his jaw. When it comes to Yoongi, there is no arguing, everyone does as he says. He’s the one who paid the deposit on the house after all.

“Fuck both of you. At least I get laid, unlike someone.” Letting your arms drop to your side, your mind immediately goes blank. It’s a known fact, at least among everyone in this house, that there is only one person who hasn’t had sex in an eternity. And that one person is you.

“Jimin what the fuck!” Standing up, Yoongi grabs Jimin by the collar of his shirt. Yoongi may be a generally non-confrontational person, but when it comes to protecting his best friend, he shows no mercy.

“I’m sorry-I’m sorry-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I was mad-” Without another word, you squeeze past them and head straight to your room. It’s not that what he said was wrong, it is, of course, the bitter truth. But hearing those words come out of the mouth of the person you have feelings for… that hurts. As if his pure existence doesn’t hurt to begin with.

Grabbing the stack from the cabinets, you line the plates expertly around the table. From your periphery, you notice Jimin peaking from around the corner, ducking his head every time you just so happen to catch him in the act. On other nights, you might have just forced him from hiding, telling him to do his part and at least get everyone’s drinks. But today you just don’t seem to have the energy. It would be an understatement to say you weren’t exactly over his little stunt earlier.

Returning to your duties, you pull out a few glasses, filling two of them with water for both Jimin and yourself. The remaining glass gets filled with banana milk, a delicacy you didn’t even know existed until you had moved into this household. You set it at the side closest to the bedrooms, the recipient’s favorite spot. And last but not least, you pull out the beer bottle for none other than Yoongi, who even on weekdays, can’t seem to get through the night without at least a little alcohol in his system. If only you could convince him to spend as much money on you as he does his unhealthy habits, you might just be living the ultimate dream.

With your back turned and facing the stove, you hear Jimin’s small footsteps along the linoleum floor, the sound of the chair as he quietly sets himself upon it. You can’t tell if he’s trying to be funny or trying to avoid your temper, but whatever he’s doing, you appreciate it. The longer he’s out of your hair, the better.

Taking as few trips as possible, you bring over the plates of various veggies and kimchi fried rice, making sure to leave room for the main dish of the night.

“Is dinner almost ready?” The tinge of annoyance hidden in Yoongi’s tone is only expected from him at this point. His patience often wears thin once the sun sets and you aren’t one to get on his bad side. He, like Jimin, receives minimal response from you, a sign to him that tonight will likely be over before it can begin. So long as he cooperates of course.

Grabbing the final platter, full of various cuts of steak, you set it in the center of the table. The way the two men sitting across from each other eye the delicacies only makes your stomach turn over itself. If it’s not women then it’s meat, there is no in between.

“Have you seen Jungkook?” You ask, sliding into your seat. Glancing between them, you realize neither seem to have heard a word. Their only focus is filling their plates, the thought of having a 'family' dinner now entirely out of their minds.

Rolling your eyes, you take small sips of water, quelling the nausea the seems to plague your very being. The atmosphere surrounding the table feels awkward and stiff as if the past year of living together never happened. As if you were surrounded by people who didn't know each other.

Just when you thought it might be a lovely and uncomfortable evening with just the three of you, Jungkook slips in through the front door, immediately setting down his bag. Glancing up, he notices the array of food quietly on table, but as you expected, he doesn't say a word. He doesn't even bother to mention the fact that he's home. He acts as though he doesn't even exist.

"How was your day?" Considering the two idiots beside you aren't likely to join in the conversation, you decide to focus your sights on the one person in this household who at least has some sense of decency.

"Ah... it was good." Filling his plate with veggies and several pieces of steak, he only glances at you once before taking his seat. As you expected, he ends the conversation short.

"How's the project you're working on? You seemed excited about it yesterday." The subtle blush that tinges his cheeks surprises you, his shy demeanor quickly returning.

"Oh. Yeah, it's going well so far. I mean I just started it... but I'm hoping it will go well. I just don't know yet." Despite having lived with this boy for many months, you can adamantly say there isn't a whole lot you know about the kid. Seldom ever do you see him, especially on weekends as he is either out all day or trapped in his room. But one of the few things he has mentioned to you, much of which was actually told to by Yoongi, is that he is a very passionate graphic designer. Just from the one piece you saw, a mock billboard he used to advertise feminine products (the only time he will ever explicitly look at a tampon, you quickly found out), you knew he was talented. Exceptionally talented. His knack for unique design and color was something you had never seen before. So when he mentioned his latest project, you were almost as excited as he was. Besides, the only passion you ever see from him is when he’s talking about his work.

"I'm sure it'll be great," you reassure him, "I have faith in you." Which, to be fair, isn't a lie. You may not be very knowledgeable about his field, but you do know that he has this job for a reason. And from the way his smile quickly spreads across his face, he knows it well.

"Like she said, it'll be great. Once you're done, we can throw a party for you and celebrate your hard work, how does that sound??" Rolling your eyes, you use your fork to chase around one of the eggplants on your plate. Of course Jimin would suggest a party and of course he would do so under the guise of wanting to celebrate Jungkook's achievements.

"I don't know..." Jungkook ponders, shoving a piece of ribeye into his mouth.

"That's not happening, not more parties." Yoongi, the ultimate decision maker, finally steps into the conversation. He, as well as you, has seen the disastrous parties that Jimin has attended in the past, once even letting him throw one at the house. And to this day, you all agreed to never let it happen again, at least not after you all needed to pitch in for recarpeting the entire living room. The jungle juice was never going to make it out of that white. Never in a million years.

"It'll be a small one I promise." Not even daring to look at you, Jimin focuses his sights on Yoongi. He had two options and yet he went with the one he would automatically lose to. But you suppose you weren't much of a better option. You hated him with every fiber of your being.

Luckily for you, you and Yoongi shared the same thoughts, knowing full well that this thought of a party needed to be shut down immediately. At least if you were going to celebrate, it was going to be under the guise of a small get together. The words "party" and "Jimin" do not need to be in the same sentence.

"We'll do a little something for you to celebrate with just us. No need to invite anyone else when we're your favorite people." Just at your words alone, Yoongi chokes on his food, apparently the sight of your wink only aiding in his suffering.

"Never do that again." He warns, after taking a sip of his beer. What surprises you, though, is when Jungkook erupts into a fit a laughter, a side of him you rarely ever get to see, at least not in this household. The way he clutches his stomach as he scrunches his nose suddenly fills your heart with joy, this precious side of him being too much to handle.

"What's so funny?" Looking between Yoongi and Jungkook, Jimin tries to figure where this sudden outburst came from. But from what you can tell, Jungkook has only lost himself to exhaustion.

"Yes you're my favorite people." Wiping away a tear, he returns his attention to his food, quietly eating while the rest of the table stares in awe. You are entirely convinced no one will ever be able to understand him, at least not with his sudden mood swings and odd changes in behavior. But you suppose you'd rather have this than anything else. At least it's better than having a second Jimin around.

After a while of silent eating, the family dinner having entirely burst into flames, you allow the rest to leave the table. You’ve taken control of the kitchen for the night, and the last thing you need is for them to stick around any longer than necessary.

Once you finish cleaning the dishes, setting them on the racks to dry, you check the time floating above the stove top.

“12:15…” Since having to be awake at six this morning, you have been running on little to no energy. You are exhausted, to the point where every muscle in your body is aching, and yet you know if you go to lie down right now, you won’t be able to fall asleep. Sincerely, on nights like this, you have very few options. You can either stay awake and suffer, either staring at the ceiling or watching murder mystery specials, or you could sneak into a certain someone’s room and force them to let you sleep in their bed. And honestly, you already know you will end up doing the latter at some point.

After turning off the lights, you saunter over to Yoongi’s room, not even bothering to knock before entering. Considering you two have been friends for what feels like an eternity, you already know his late night habits just as well as you know your own. Nothing surprises you anymore, at least not with him.

Inside his room, he is already curled in a ball with his back toward the door. In the corner of the room, he keeps his special night light, although, you are never allowed to use those words around him. He refuses to believe he has a night light. Instead, he insists it’s just a lamp that he always forgets to turn off at night. Sure Yoongi, whatever you say.

With him being so close to the wall, you can tell he was expecting you to come at some point in the night. Whether or not it would be this soon after dinner, you suppose it doesn’t matter, so long as he’s not surprised the moment you pull back the covers. Doing your best to stay quiet, you sneak into his bed, making as little movements as possible.

“What took you so fucking long?” He sighs, “I’ve been lying awake for the past hour waiting for you.” Snuggling up against him, you try to express your apologies without words. You are about five seconds from passing out and the last thing you want to deal with is his attitude.

Considering he doesn’t respond any further, you take it as a sign of forgiveness. Either that or he’s just as unwilling to deal with it as you are. Knowing him, it’s probably the second one. You already know he has a large book of grudges, most of which he likes to hold against you.

With the dim lighting of the so-called lamp in the corner, you feel yourself start to drift. The aches and pains which have plagued you all day are finally starting to disappear, the day’s stress dissipating the moment you close your eyes.

Jolting awake, you automatically squeeze your thighs together. The several glasses of water you had for dinner are finally catching up to you. Looking over at Yoongi’s desk, you realize it’s only two in the morning. You didn’t even last two hours before your bladder decided to punish you just for trying to be a healthy adult. Carefully taking off the comforter, you crouch onto the floor as to make yourself as invisible as possible. Normally, you would try not to move at all, knowing that Yoongi would probably kick your ass if you woke him up. But this is one time when you don’t think you’ll make it out alive if you don’t go now.

Crawling toward the door, you do your best to avoid the articles of clothing and odd stacks of paper strewn on the ground. The door, much to your surprise, is entirely quiet, opening without so much as a problem. Looking down the hallways, you notice no one else is up and around, the perfect setting to execute your plan. The place has never been so still. Too lazy to reorient yourself, you continue to crawl in the direction of the bathroom, the new stealth mode you have just acquired being utilized to its fullest. Once inside, you release the breath you had been holding, but not before quickly clenching your legs. Scrambling to the toilet, you are finally able to do your business, the hardest part of the night now quickly over with.

Turning off the light, you head back to Yoongi's room, but when you happen to walk past Jimin's door, you hear strange sounds coming from within. On a normal night, and maybe in an alternate universe, you probably would have ignored it, deciding that your sleep was worth more than whatever goes on behind that closed door. But considering it is this particular night and you have no control over your curiosity, you decide to place your ear to the door. From what you can tell, there isn't a lot going on, nothing but silence on the other end. Just when you are about to turn around and head to bed, you hear the smallest and most sensual moan. At first you think you're imagining things, the thought of this asshole masturbating being both a blessing and curse, but when you can't seem to pry yourself away, you already know you're in for quite the ride. When his moans suddenly become louder, the faint sound of a female in the background, your heart begins beating out of control. There is something very intimate about this scene and although you might enjoy this any other time, the fact that Jimin is still a piece of shit makes you feel otherwise. Although the arousal beginning to pool at your center seems to tell you otherwise.

"Ah... Y/N..." At the sound of your name, your heart immediately stops. Out of the female names you have ever heard come out of his mouth, the last one you thought you’d here during a moment like this is your own. As hot and amazing as it sounds coming from him, you can’t but hate it at the same time. He has the audacity to bruise your ego with comments about the fact that you can’t get laid, and yet in the same breath, will moan your name while masturbating? With porn no less? He has some nerve.

Deciding to call it a night, you rush back into Yoongi’s room, slamming the door shut. You’ll deal with the repercussions later, all you want to do is forget it ever happened.

“What the fuck was that for?” Yoongi groans, tossing in his corner while you make your way back underneath the covers.

“Jimin can’t keep my name out of his filthy mouth.” You state, the frustration only adding to your headache.

“I wish he would stop that shit, I don’t wanna know what he’s thinking about when he’s touching himself.”

“So you knew about this?” You aren’t even surprised to know that this happens often, but the fact that Yoongi is fully aware of your name somehow being involved in Jimin’s private time is what irritates you most.

“Clearly you hate knowing about it so why would I tell you?” Although he has a point, you can’t help but hate every man in this house. Except for maybe Jungkook. Either way, you only hope tomorrow, Jimin avoids you at all costs.

The following morning, you wake up feeling like absolute hell. After that little interaction, not being able to get your mind off the way he moaned, every syllable of your name that came from his mouth is now eternally burned into your memory. It kept you up all night, and considering you only go to Yoongi to help you sleep, this time he was of no help at all.

Getting up, you try to pat Yoongi awake only for your arm to be pushed away and a string of curses being sent in your direction. For someone who is normally a morning person, it seems he might have gotten just as little of sleep as you did. And for that you feel slightly guilty.

"Sorry for keeping you up all night... it's time to get up, you have to leave for work soon." Reaching him arm from underneath the covers, he grabs his phone that is perched on the windowsill. It only takes one glance before he starts whining, realizing that yes, indeed, he did have work in an hour.

Forcing yourself from the comfort of his bed, you walk out of his room straight into yours directly across the hall. From the small bit of conversation you can hear, Jimin and Jungkook are busy chatting away in the kitchen, the two idiots clearly not having left for work yet. It's usually you and Yoongi still left in the house as your jobs don't start until later, but, for some reason, they seem to be taking their sweet time. Unfortunately for you, you might actually have to face Jimin. Wonderful.

One thing you are grateful about is that the boys agreed to let you have one of the rooms with its own bathroom, knowing full well that sharing the one in the hall would only lead to disaster. The other, which was given to Jungkook after an intense game of rock-paper-scissors, is still not nearly as nice as yours. It's not as if they would have utilized the spa tub anyway.

Grabbing your toothbrush, you start to get cleaned up, taking special care to wash your face in the hopes that it will take away every bit of blush that seems to have permanently stained your cheeks after last night. It would be a miracle if by the time you were done, everyone would be gone and out of your hair, giving you the rest of the day to pull yourself together only to meet them again later in the day. You even take extra time on your makeup, coating each individual lash in the hopes that they have already left.

Digging clothes from your closet, you decide to wear your favorite jeans, a crisp white bottom up blouse on top. Paired with your favorite earrings and chunky heel, you are set to finally leave. Checking one last time in the mirror, you take one last breath before grabbing your jacket and purse and heading out. When you close your bedroom door, you realize that Jimin and Jungkook are still in the main room, chatting as if neither of them had responsibilities. You do your best to quietly sneak past them, but when they come into view with Jimin's back facing you, you realize that maybe you should have taken a little more time to get ready.

"I'm telling you, she is the most gorgeous girl I've ever met in my entire life. She puts every girl I've ever been with to shame. And she asked meout, can you believe that? I bet she'd look pretty on her knees..." When Jungkook notices you, he tries to signal with his eyes to Jimin. From what you can decipher, he's basically saying "shut the fuck up you idiot", but of course, amidst his banter, Jimin doesn't notice a thing. Too lost in his own world about the next girl he's going to bang.

Not wanting to hear anymore, you make sure to be as loud as possible as you nearly rush out the door. Feigning lateness is one thing, but more than anything you wanted him to know you heard everything. How this sex-addicted piece of shit manages to say one girl's name while jacking it and think about his next escapade not a moment later is something you will never understand. He is a player, and he does what every other player does. Piss you off.

All you need to do is get through the day then maybe you can survive the day without killing anyone.

By the time you arrive home, it being almost six, you feel as though you're seconds from passing out. You had entirely forgotten about the meeting at work, not being prepared to give your presentation about recent Artificial Intelligence breakthroughs (although expertly pulling it off like you always managed to do) but in the end, all your energy is drained. And to be honest, it wasn't as if you had that much to begin with.

Based on the current state of the house, you can tell that Jimin and Yoongi aren't home, the hooks for their keys being empty. You do, however, see Jungkook's sneakers in the entryway, his keys on the kitchen counter alongside a small box and a note. Pulling off your heels, you walk over to grab the small card, opening it to see your name written delicately in glitter pen.

"Y/N,

Sorry about this morning. Here's some chocolate.

-JK"

Putting down the card, you can't help the infectious smile from taking over your lips. Even if it's the most dry message, the thought is still there. The fact that he even thought to get you anything is in itself a surprise, yet he somehow knew that one of your biggest weaknesses is good chocolate. Untying the multi-colored ribbon, you carefully open the box only to be met with the sight of a lifetime. Each row contained your favorite chocolates: from caramel, to rum nougat, to that one fancy one that you still can't manage to pronounce. You can't even contain your excitement about the thought of eating them all in one sitting, you entire body vibrating. It's been so long since you last went to buy yourself treats, and having them waiting for you upon coming home was definitely a wonderful surprise.

Looking toward Jungkook's room, you see his door slightly ajar. He likely heard you come in, the sound of those chunky heels not an easy thing to miss. But when you hear the sounds him shouting, the subsequent "you fucking bastard" strung between each command, you realize this kid is likely too deep into his games to remember that you even exist.

"Listen here assholes, if you don't do as I say we're going to have a fucking problem. I carry this team on my fucking back every fucking week and if you don't start pulling your weight, I'm gonna strangle you through the screen!"

Never in your life have you heard Jungkook swear like this, a majority of his demeanor being quiet, and quite honestly, he is more of a recluse than anything else. Most of the conversations you've witnessed have never been anything more than him either listening or throwing in a few phrases here and there just to maintain the flow. This side of him is entirely new, and you're loving it.

"For fucks sake! Do something! Go Go!" He shouts, frustration seeping through every syllable, "Oh my fucking god I'm going to kill all of you."

You can't help but smile at this newly obtained piece of information, the fact that he's not nearly as innocent and sweet as you originally thought. He's sworn before, yes, but only in the presence of alcohol. And the most he'd ever said was 'shit', and even then, you couldn't take him seriously.

Walking up to his room, you peak your head through the door. From this angle, you can see the television screen, watching as his character runs around aimlessly with two swords clutched in each hand. You have no idea what game this is.

"I've gotten nine out of the nine kills for our team, what the fuck are you doing, jerking each other off?" It becomes more difficult to contain your laughter, the string of profanities coming from his mouth nothing less than comedic.

Once a flashing pop-up appears on the screen, spelling the words "Team A Loses", you know damn well the show will only become more dramatic. Just as you are about to hide away, leaving him to deal with utter defeat, you catch a glimpse of him throwing his headphones on the ground, using his foot to turn off the console. From the looks of it, this is probably not the first time this has happened.

The poor kid is left nearly pulling his hair out, leaning back in his chair with his eyes shut. He's probably conjuring several ways to murder his teammates as we speak, something you likely would have done too if you were in his position. But then again, you know absolutely nothing about video games.

In an attempt to walk away, you manage to trip over your own feet, falling over directly into the handle of the closet door. The sound of your accident must have caught his attention, as the next thing you know, Jungkook is crouching beside you.

"Are-you-okay what-happened?" His speech comes out far too quickly for you to understand, the heat beginning to accumulate in your body only adding to the pain beginning to form at your side.

"Yeah-uh I'm fine. I came to ask what you wanted for dinner but I tripped on myself..." Doing your best to cover your tracks, you try to act as though you didn't just hear the last few minutes of his predicament.

"Oh, you're cooking tonight?" He asks, grabbing your arm to help you up. Realizing your mistake, the fact that it was indeed a weekday and had only had family dinner night yesterday, you try to think of something to solidify your alibi.

"Yeah I know everyone is probably suffering from a case of the Mondays and I'm feeling exceptionally nice today..." Adorning a fake smile, you casually limp in the direction of the kitchen. Jungkook immediately comes to your aid, once again, placing his arm around your shoulders as he leads you toward the kitchen.

"Did you hurt your leg too?" Looking at you from head to toe, he examines the state of your body. Watching him from your periphery only results in the rouging of your cheeks, sweat beginning to form underneath your armpits.

"I-ah well... It just hurts to walk, I don't know, I'm stupid." At this point, just existing is painful, especially after having made a fool of yourself. It's not that you usually don't, in fact you're certain Yoongi calls you an idiot at least twice a day, but this has put you at a different level of stupidity. Yoongi's going to love it when you tell him.

"You're not stupid. It happens. Do you want an icepack?" Looking over at him, you try to decipher his expression. All you see is pure concern, the innocence which you have known him for immediately coming back.

"Yeah that would be great." Setting you on the bar stool, he walks to the freezer to grab the small ice pack, the one with the small rubber ducks on it that you specifically set aside for yourself.

Handing it over to you across the counter, he gives you a small smile. You feel like your face is ready to explode.

"Don't worry about dinner, I can handle it. Just relax." You don't think you've ever once seen Jungkook volunteer to cook, taking advantage of his status as the one youngest in the house. Not even that, but you can speak for both Jimin and Yoongi when you say that you all inherently have a desire to care for him, even if it means taking on extra work to take care of the house.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it. For the chocolates too, that was very sweet and a nice surprise." Looking over his shoulder, he smiles brightly, nodding his head as an informal 'you're welcome'. Although you had never thought you'd be spending this much time with Jungkook of all people, you're almost glad you have a tendency to be a walking accident. Although the screaming pain at your ribcage is telling you otherwise.

Placing the icepack at your side, you rest your head against the counter and just watch the show. Jungkook, much to your surprise, isn't as hopeless in the kitchen as you originally thought. Even though he chooses to make a giant pot of ramen, the addition of chopped sausage, chili bean paste, and green onion is something you never would have expected from him. Since he is usually the first one home, he probably makes dishes like this all the time. But seeing it up close in action is entirely different story.

Over the next few minutes, you watch as Yoongi makes it through the door, immediately awe struck at the sight of Jungkook in the kitchen.

"You're actually cooking? You know how to use the stove? Who taught you this." He taunts, setting his jacket on the hook.

"I know how to make ramen, thank you very much." Watching Jungkook roll his eyes at Yoongi has never been so amusing, clearly the loss doing wonders for Jungkook's new personality.

"It better be good," Yoongi warns, "And the hell happened to you?" Taking a seat at the stool next to you, he pokes at your arm until you finally cave in and respond.

"I had an accident okay, don't worry about it." The wound to your pride is far too fresh to admit to the actual string of events. He'll find out eventually, just not right now.

"Jungkook, what'd she do." Knowing he won't be able to coax an answer from you, he decides to attack his only source of information.

"She came home like that, how would I know." Raising your eyebrow, you're surprised to see a sudden ally. Apparently you'd been wrong about Jungkook this entire time.

"When is Jimin coming home?" You ask, the way his name falls off your tongue already leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth.

But you are only met with silence.

"Is no one going to answer me?" Lifting your head, you look between Jungkook and Yoongi, neither of them budging. Both seem to avoid eye contact with you, Jungkook too focused on stirring the pot while Yoongi is preoccupied on his phone.

"I see how it is..." Returning your head to the counter, you stare at the clock on the wall. It's almost seven, and Jimin should have returned a while ago. Maybe he isn't coming home at all.

"You know Jimin likes you right." With how quickly your head shot up from the counter, you likely gave yourself whiplash. As much as you would have liked to hide your intrigue, you can't help but react.

"What are you talking about." Yoongi's low tone can only be read as a warning, Jungkook's sudden outburst now coming under fire.

"Jungkook, don't fuck with me. He what now?" The room remains silent except for the sound of the ramen boiling, both of them locked in staring contest, as if your presence is no longer welcome.

"Jimin likes you." Jungkook repeats, never once breaking eye contact with Yoongi. You aren't sure what alternate universe you've stumbled into, but you wish you could escape.

Jimin having feelings for you is something you never thought would happen. Never. You may have dreamt about it several times, but each time you woke up knowing that it would never be the truth. And yet you're here, those words suddenly coming out of Jungkook's mouth and you're left wondering how much of this reality is even true. Jimin is the type who doesn't like to settle down. He has a new girl around his arm every month. Sometimes, every week. Jimin doesn't do feelings. He does sex. At least that's what Yoongi always tells you.

"Oh." You aren't sure how to respond as nothing about this situation makes sense. Technically, Jungkook would be the one to know those little secrets about Jimin. It would make sense for Jungkook to know those things. But the fact that it's you? He must be making it up. Is this part of his gift? To tell you what you want to hear? Well you don't want it. Not in the slightest.

Removing yourself from the counter, you head straight into your room, ignoring the way your body screams at you in pain. Your heart, which you thought would be overjoyed, only hurts. If it is indeed true and Jimin does have feelings for you, then he has only put you through all this pain for what? Considering everyone and their neighbor knows of your feelings, you wouldn't be surprised if Jimin caught on long ago. And yet he continues to go out, meet girls, and bring them home in front of your face as if it meant nothing. He truly is, and will always be, an asshole.

Lying on your bed, you rest the icepack on your side. From how hot you have been feeling, it is mostly liquid, but at least in some ways, it continues to cool you down. If only you had one for your entire body, then maybe you could see yourself getting through this.

Stretching your arms to the ceiling, you quickly realize you had fallen asleep. Looking at the clock on your nightstand, you read that it's already eleven. You had slept for four hours. There is no way you will be able to sleep tonight.

Sitting up, you place the ice pack on the table, tossing your legs over the edge of the bed. Your entire body is sore, a majority of your rib cage still aching like no other. You really did yourself in.

With the sole thought of getting that box of chocolates, the concept of shoving every single piece in your mouth, you decide to leave your room. Opening the door, you notice that the house is quiet, a majority of the lights turned off in the main room. Stepping out, you try to be as quick as possible in retrieving the chocolates, but when you notice Jungkook chilling on the couch, nothing but his phone in his hand, you aren't sure if leaving the comfort of your room was as good of an idea as you had originally thought.

Unfortunately for you, he notices you immediately.

"Hey... you're awake." He states, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"Yeah... I was tired." Heading directly into the kitchen, you grab the box and the note, set on hiding in your room for the rest the night. Maybe even for the rest of eternity.

"Can we talk?" Had it not been for the fact that the house was essentially empty, you never would have heard him. If you had to describe his voice in two words, it would definitely be 'tiny font'.

Turning around, you nod slightly, making your way over to his spot on the couch. Sitting on the opposite end, you wait for him to continue, but for a while it seems as though he is collecting his thoughts. Either that or he entirely spaced out. When he suddenly turns his body to face you, you feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know why I said that. I should have known that it would make you uncomfortable considering we're housemates and all." Shaking your head, you try to reassure him. It doesn't help that the current series of events has put you in a weird mood lately, but you also understand that he meant no harm in doing so.

"It's okay, really. I was being sensitive I guess, I didn't really have a reason to act that way." Pursing his lips, he processes your words. He doesn't say anything, instead letting awkward silence fill the space between you. You want nothing more than for this conversation to be over with so that you can at least be alone to deal with your now extremely disorganized feelings.

"It's not okay. I know you like him... and I probably made things really awkward." Biting your bottom lip, you mentally scorn yourself in your head. You had figured that Jungkook had known, either just by witnessing the many awkward exchanges or Yoongi spilling the tea, but never did you think he would confront you about it. Not like this.

"I... yeah I do. But let's just pretend that's not the case so I can move on without wanting to yeet myself down a flight a stairs." Normally when you have conversations such as this, the person on the other end is almost always Yoongi. Yoongi appreciates dark humor and your ubiquitous use of the word 'yeet'. Jungkook, on the other hand, has never spoken more than a few casual sentences with you.

"Please don't do that, I feel really bad now, I'm sorry!" The pure concern and sorrow etched onto Jungkook's face is something you never thought you would witness first hand. He is sweet and has never once been on anyone's bad side, especially in this household. Yet he masters the art of looking pitiful quite well.

"No no! I don't mean it literally. Only Jimin is that dramatic." Trying to reassure him, you laugh it all off, pretending as if doing so doesn't kill you from the bruised rib. He is only response is to mouth the words 'oh', the entire subject now being dropped.

"Are you hungry? I can make-" Just as Jungkook tries to speak, Yoongi bursts through the front door. From the way he staggers inside, you can tell he's veryvery drunk.

Running over to him, you hold him up while he kicks off his shoes. Upon seeing your face, his breath reeking of alcohol, a large smile forms across his face.

"Hey... you. You're alive, I miss-ed youuu." You can't help but cringe internally at his words, his attempts at being cute probably being your least favorite moments. Drunk Yoongi only has three settings: soft, mega soft, or an asshole. And from what you can tell, he's in the mood to be as obnoxiously soft as possible.

"Missed you too bitch. Come on, let's get you to your room." Pulling him close to you, you try to breathe through the pain and lead him in the direction from his room. Eyeing Jungkook on the couch, you can tell he wants to help. But both of you know that when it comes to Yoongi being drunk, there is only one person who he will have anything to do with. And that person is you.

Mouthing the words 'sorry', you make large strides to get Yoongi into his room. Upon opening the door, you find that his room is spotless - even his entire desk had been reorganized. Which only tells that you something must have happened at work. He's known to be quite the clean freak amidst a lot of stress.

Throwing him onto the bed, you try to catch your breath. He may be small human but it's not as if you're the strongest person either. The fact that you even got him this far is quite a miracle.

Going back to close the door, you take the chair at his desk and pull it toward the bed.

"So what happened?" Simple interrogation is easy with drunk Yoongi, because unlike non-drunk Yoongi, this one is willing to tell you literally everything.

"I was mad." He pouts, tossing one of the pillows of his bed.

"Mad about what exactly?"

"Jungkook's stupid." Alright, well there's a clue.

"He's not stupid," you emphasize, irritated that Yoongi would even suggest such a thing, "don't say shit that's not true."

"He shouldn't have told you that. Not even I was going to tell you that." As you suspected Yoongi knew this whole time as well. He was just waiting to watch everything burst into flames.

"Good to know you keep shit from me. And you call yourself my best friend." Even if you aren't entirely irritated, knowing full well that Yoongi always has his reasons for keeping things from you, but the fact that you had to find out from someone other than him does hurt your pride. Just a little bit.

"Oh please, I am your one and only. And if it makes up for it, I can tell you something else." Intrigued by his offer, you swivel the chair until you are directly facing him. "And that is?"

The sudden smile that appears on his face terrifies you, as you've only known that look to be associated with nothing but a bad time.

"Jungkook likes you too." Rolling your eyes, you consider punching him in the throat. Why he thinks it's alright to play with you right now, you're not sure, but one thing you do know is that he won't be getting away with it.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm going to bed." Getting up from the chair, you get ready to leave.

"I'm serious! He told me." Turning around, you try to contain the anger suddenly building up within you.

"Enough jokes Yoongi! Stop!" Being single and alone sucks so much more when every man around just like to play with your feelings.

"Y/N. Seriously. Did you really think he picked out those chocolates without coming to me first? I'm literally the only person on this fucking earth who knows what chocolates you eat, especially since you can only buy them from one specific store. And second, this bastard has been eyeing you since the day we moved in. Avoids you like the plague because being near you makes him nervous. Worries about you constantly. Remember that night he went to go pick you up from that one stupid bar because you were too drunk and your date disappeared? Do you think that was coincidence, no this bitch overheard you drunk calling me and ran out the door like the house was on fire. He likesyou. Just face it! Ugh, you get on my nerves sometimes." Rolling over, he curls up into a ball against the wall. Leaving you to sit with the mess that his drunk self has so lovingly created.

Taking your leave, you make your way into your bedroom, closing the door as quietly as possible. If you could wish for anything, you would wish to not exist. Everything is confusing, nothing makes sense and somehow you are put in the most awkward position on the planet thanks to these idiots who can't seem to get their shit together. You wish they would have just left you out of this, let you suffer in peace as you had done so before everyone's feelings got mixed in.

Lying on your bed, you can only stare up at the ceiling. With things being a million times more complicated, there is no way you are going to be able to sleep. Not when there is too much to figure out before things get out of hand.

The following morning, you do your best to get ready early. A full two hours early. Knowing that Jungkook and Jimin would be leaving within the next hour, at least assuming Jimin even came home last night, you rush to pull yourself together for work. You figure you can sit in the cafe on the first floor of your office building to pass the time, eat some food since you basically had nothing yesterday. Whatever you can do to get out of here early, you will absolutely do so. You hate every bit of this.

With your favorite dress on, tights and black booties to match, you grab your jacket and head straight for the front door. However, when you make it to the main living room, you're met with Jungkook, his favorite thermos for coffee in hand.

"Good morning. You're up early?" The inflection at the end of his question makes your heart constrict, the utter thought that this man has feelings for you killing you on the inside. You had never considered the thought and now it’s all you can think about.

"Yeah, I have to go in early to get some extra work done." You will lie straight through your teeth.

"Hopefully that means you can come home early. Maybe we can hang out and watch a movie or something." Oh my fucking god.

"Sounds great, I better get going, see you later!" Waving awkwardly, you head straight for the door, only to be knocked over by Jimin suddenly swinging it open.

"Oh shit, sorry Y/N, are you-"

"I'm fine, bye!" Rushing past him, you run straight to your car, no longer caring about your image at this point. Every man in this house is out to kill you, and the last thing you need is to be spending any more time around them if you can help it.

Once safely inside, you shift the car into reverse, leaving as if your life depends on it. Not only do your ribs hurt, but your shoulder is now out of commission as well. And who’s going to pay your medical bills?

After the conversation with Jungkook from this morning, your worst fear for the day was going home. In fact, you even made a point to go out with one of your coworkers just so you wouldn't have to. The idea of being with Jungkook alone only gives you anxiety, the fact that he even asked in the first place being so out of character.

But, as you stand outside the house at nearly eleven o'clock, you know that you can't avoid it forever, as much as you would like to. You're going to have to face him at some point. Might as well get it over with so that maybe you can get a good night's rest for once. As if that would ever happen.

Opening the door quietly, you sneak inside. You took your boots off prior to coming in, hoping that it would lessen the noise, and luckily for you, all the lights were off albeit the lamp in the corner. A sure sign that everyone is either out or preoccupied in their respective rooms. For your own sake, you only hope it's the latter. Tip toeing into your room, you drop your bag and your coat. As quickly as possible you change into sweatpants and a t-shirt, removing your makeup and brushing your teeth. You want to just sleep for as long as possible, so that when you show up to work tomorrow, you might actually be able to do your job.

Going across the hall, you open the door to Yoongi's room. Except for when you open the door, he isn't even inside.

"This asshole..." Of course the one night you desperately need him in order to sleep, he isn't even home. And he probably won't even come home this time, especially after last night. Essentially, you're screwed.

Returning to the living room, you sit quietly on the couch. From what you can tell, Jimin and Jungkook are both asleep, not a peep coming from either direction in the house.

Turning on the television, you immediately turn down the volume to 'non-existent', choosing to put on subtitles instead. Whenever Yoongi isn’t around and you have enough energy to exist outside of your room, you have a tendency to watch a series of murder mysteries, just to preoccupy your time. Not that things like that even scared, you found them extremely fascinating, but on occasion when someone would find you curled up on the couch at four in the morning zoned out on a murder scene, you would only receive criticizing looks. As if any of their habits were any better than your own.

Opening HulaHoop, your favorite streaming app, you continue where you last left off. You are currently on Season 5, making your way through Episode 3, fighting your way through the evidence surrounding the chilling torso murders. As you make your way through the rest of the season, quickly losing track of time, you hear the sound of one of the doors opening. When Jungkook comes out, hair disheveled and his collarbone exposed, you damn near choke on air.

“Ah, you’re home?” His gruff, sleep-heavy voice catches you off guard, much deeper than you’ve ever heard him sound. As much as you hate to admit it, he sounds really hot.

“Couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up?” You ask, trying to avoiding looking at his smooth, exposed skin.

“Water. I’m dying.” Chuckling softly, you watch as he basically waddles into the kitchen. He must still be half asleep from the way he can’t seem to find a glass despite living here for an eternity. Finally stumbling upon the right cabinet, he takes one of the largest glass and fills it with water from the front of the fridge. You only blink once and the water is nearly gone.

“Damn, you were real thirsty.” Nodding his head, he fills it once more, basically chugging it before placing the empty glass in the sink.

“What’re you watching?” He asks, focusing his sights on the screen.

“Murder mysteries. This one is about a family who disappeared from their cabin. Apparently only the youngest daughter was found alive and she can’t remember anything, not even her own name. It’s crazy.” Trying to comprehend your words, he just stares into the void of the screen, looking as if he’s about to fall asleep standing up.

“Is Yoongi not home?” He realizes, checking the hallway in the direction of your rooms.

“Nah. I don’t know where he is.” Not that it would make a difference anyway. He’s just not home.

“Did you want to come sleep with me?” Before he even processes what he says, you stare at him wide-eyed. This was the most blatant flirting this kid has ever done.

“Wait I’m sorry, I retract that, too far, oh my god.” Rubbing his bare face with his hands, he walks in circles, trying to snatch his words out of existence. If only his offer didn’t sound so promising.

“Actually… can I? I have a lot of work to do tomorrow and I really need sleep. And Yoongi’s not home…” The last thing you want is to sound eager, especially since this is honestly the last thing you want to do, but it would be an understatement to say you’re desperate at this point.

“I-I guess, if you want.”

“Jungkook. You’re the one who offered, I don’t hav-”

“No-no it’s chill, it’s fine go for it.” He’s about five seconds from having an absolute mental breakdown.

“Okay…” Turning off the television, you follow him into his room. Just as you expected, his room is neat as always, everything in its place. At least Jungkook’s bed is in the center, meaning you didn’t have to worry about being crammed against a wall.

“I usually sleep on the left side,” Jungkook states uncomfortably, “but you can have that side if you want.”

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter, I can take the other side.” Everything about this exchange is more awkward than anything you have ever experienced. No wonder he’s just a recluse.

Turning off the lights, you both crawl into his bed. After a few moments of staring at the ceiling, neither of you willing to move, you both seem to read each other’s mind, turning away so that your backs are now facing each other. From underneath the blankets, you could feel a tremendous amount of body heat radiating from his side of the bed. It is a known fact in the house that Jungkook is quite the lover, a serial monogamist one might call him, and yet when it comes to being around you, he just can’t seem to get a hold of himself. And much to your dismay, you’re absolutely a nervous wreck right beside him. Everything about this screams uncomfortable, although his mattress is probably the nicest one you’ve ever lied on, but still! You feel like you’re roasting alive under the tension.

“Do you mind if I turn on a little music? It helps me sleep.” He asks quietly, shifting closer to the edge of the bed.

“Wouldn’t mind at all.” For a moment you feel him fumble about, probably reaching somewhere in the darkness for his phone. Seeing your shadows illuminate on the wall, you guess that he found exactly what he was looking for. All around the room, soft piano music begins to play, the dim lighting illuminating the small speakers in the corner of the room.

He is quite tech-savvy.

Locking his phone, you hear it hit the carpet of the floor. Despite having felt as stiff as a brick only moments ago, the sounds of the music quickly seems to alleviate your stress. You had never thought before to utilize music to help you sleep as Yoongi just seemed like a convenient option considering you used to have to sleep in one bed when you used to share the smallest studio in existence. Although it doesn’t have the exact same effect, it’s doing enough to at least get you to relax. At this point, that’s all you really need. After a couple minutes of just following the notes, allowing your mind to drift alongside the music, you find yourself falling quickly into dreamland, not another peep to be heard.

With a few weeks having passed, things slowly started to go back to normal. You had, in many ways, fixed your friendship with Jimin, him apologizing a million times over after subsequently finding out from Yoongi that he had, quote, “royally fucked up”. You knew from the beginning that you weren’t going to hold a grudge forever, especially knowing that after a certain point, your weakness for him would ultimately win everything else over. And not because you have feelings for him. Just because it’s Jimin.

As of recently, the general dynamics in the house have shifted dramatically, Jimin spending more time at home and Jungkook becoming more involved with everyone to the point of him actually making plans for everyone to go out together. After nearly a year, things were finally starting to fall into place, the family of friends you had dreamed of slowly beginning to manifest itself in front of your very eyes. If only feelings weren’t still an issue.

As part of your resolution, after having witnessed the aftermath first hand of what it actually felt like to live in the same house as your crush, you vowed to sever the feelings you originally thought you would never get over. Whether or not it has been successful is still up for debate, Yoongi being on the side of delusional rather than an actual breakthrough. But you expected nothing less from him considering he can’t grasp the concept of not being cynical.

You had arrived home not too long ago, the beloved Friday finally gracing your presence. Your plans for the weekend consisted of nothing and more of nothing, every part of your body aching to be in sweatpants for a full 48 hours. Whenever Valentine's Day is approaching, you always manage to secure your weekend with selfcare and selfcare only, even if it means watching a drama for hours on end and eating the largest box of rum nougats. Your favorite part being the rum, of course.

When you first walk through the door, you notice the typical arrangement against the wall: Jungkook’s keys alongside three empty spots. It’s like a ritual to come home like this on the weekdays, one that at least serves as some validation that the world is still in order. You can still remember the one day you had arrived home and saw that not even Jungkook’s keys were on the hook – a sight you hadn’t seen in the entirety of living in the house. You had even gone so far as to call Yoongi and Jimin, ready to put out an amber alert for your missing child to which Yoongi only responded: “He went to a conference for work, he’ll be gone all week will you calm down?” Ever since then you’ve made sure to rely on things other than Jungkook's keys to check the status of the universe. However, it hasn't been easy considering the ritual continued immediately after he had returned from his trip.

Heading straight to your room, you notice the door is left slightly open. Whenever you leave for work, you know for a fact that you close the door. Every time. Slowly opening it, you are surprised to see quite the assortment laid out on the bed, including a giant teddy bear, flowers and that very familiar box of chocolates.

Someone clearly ignored rule number two.

Rule 2: DO NOT go into each other’s personal spaces without permission. You will get caught.

Well it's not as if they were trying to hide it... this is almost too blatant.

Walking up to your bed, you immediately grab the card.

"My dearest Y/N,

For this Valentine's I have gifted you a buddy that will hopefully help you sleep along with some of your favorite flowers and the chocolate I know you love more than anything else.

I hope it's not too late to encroach on your plans for the weekend, but if you'd like, I have reservations to la Cour du Feu, a little restaurant on the water that I'm sure you'll come to love.

If this flops, pretend it never happened. Thanks.

with uncontrollable feelings, Jungkook"

Unable to hide your amusement, you toss the card onto the bedding alongside the tremendously large bear. Everything about this is sweet yet hilarious, a part of you wondering how you managed to get yourself into this situation. Even the bear seems a little over the top, but you can't deny that it's probably the cutest bear you've ever seen. If you squint, it actually looks around the same size as Yoongi, so maybe, just maybe, Jungkook might be onto something.

Despite your best efforts to control yourself, your first inclination is to open the suspecting box. Just as you predicted, the same assortment from before welcomes you, several more of each kind filling each of the little spots. You're true weakness, these stupid chocolates, fill you with so much joy that you almost forget to consider the proposition previously presented to you. Almost.

Rule 5: No relationships between roommates.

But is it really breaking the rule if it's just one date? Likely not. And besides, you would never end up with him anyway. Even though he's adorable and mildly attractive. Actually, very attractive. But who are you to refute facts?

Popping one of the nougats into your mouth, you quickly try to decide your course of action. As much as you'd love to go to a nice restaurant and be doted on for once in your life, and on Valentine's Day for that matter, you aren't sure if you're willing to start something you can't finish. Not even Yoongi is here to try and help you, acting as the voice of reason you never seem to have on your own. Jungkook knows you're home, the poor kid is probably waiting on his bed petrified, which means you have about a minute to decide.

What harm could it possibly do?

Probably a lot, actually. Pulling at your own hair, you realize that this can either go really well or really poorly. And even though you're a risk taker, are you willing to put the sanctity of this household at risk just because you want to be wined and dined?

Yes, yes you are.

Exiting your room, you head straight to Jungkook's. His door is closed and you can't hear anything coming from inside. He's not even bothering to play his games.

Knocking on the door, you hear the saddest "come in" in existence, his voice having audibly cracked in the middle of it.

"Hey," you say peeking through the door, "I came with my answer."

His eyes perk up at your words, the genuine anticipation in his eyes almost killing you.

"Yes, I'd love to go with you."

The sigh of relief that expels from his body makes you laugh, as he had very harshly thrown himself back on the bed.

"Thank god, I had put that there like two hours ago and I've been suffering ever since. Especially after you came home, I seriously considered just jumping out my window, I couldn't handle it." He pauses. "But I'm glad. I'm very very glad."

Sitting next to him on the bed, you wrap your arm around his shoulder.

"You did well, those were expertly picked gifts." His smile only makes your heart melt, every part of you wanting to pinch his cheeks and shower him with affection. But of course you would never do that. Never.

The rest of the night went by relatively smoothly, both Jimin and Yoongi returning home at their usual times. Jungkook had decided to put on a movie to watch in the living room, everyone seeming to have had the same sort of day at work. An unbearable and brutal one.

Both you and Jungkook agreed not to say anything to the others, knowing that this would inevitably put the rules into question. No, you weren't in a relationship, but it's not as though going on a date didn't inevitably turn into more dates. Which, you can conclude, would lead to a full blown relationship. Although, if you were to get caught, you would just claim you had asked Jungkook in desperation to finally be taken out on a date for Valentine's Day. That shit hasn't happened for years, and it just seemed like a perfect opportunity. At least that's what you would tell them. You already know Yoongi wouldn't buy it, but at the very least, it might work on Jimin. If he didn't get butthurt, that is.

Sitting next to Yoongi, you rest your head on his shoulder. Just like every other movie night, you use him as your personal body pillow. Every few seconds, you notice Jungkook glancing over in your direction, and although you'd like to think he was just checking on your well-being, you know the look on his face very well. It's the same look you would tend to give Jimin whenever he would bring another girl over. Speaking of which, you haven't seen in quite some time.

"Yo Jimin, what happened to that one pretty girl you were dating? The one with the short brunette hair that always smelled like roses." The fact that you saying those words induced a revelation followed by an 'ahhh' coming from Jungkook, you know that it wasn't just you who noticed her odd and sudden disappearance, at least without a replacement.

"We broke up. She didn't like the fact that I was living with another woman." Rolling your eyes, you add that to the list of stupid excuses you've heard from Jimin's lovers. This one, in particular, has been used quite a bit.

"As if that means anything. We have those rules for a reason. And besides, nothing will happen between us." The conviction in your voice came out more harsh than you had planned, and albeit stating a fact, you couldn't help but feel guilty. Especially after seeing the disappointment etched on his face.

"Right." Looking at Yoongi, you try to get some help, but when he only shrugs his shoulders, you realize you are completely on your own.

Everyone eventually gets back to the movie, Jungkook making another round of popcorn for the second half. Upon the movie’s ending, Yoongi is the first to get up, bidding farewell in the only way he knows how.

"Night assholes." The slamming of his door is one indication that he is in a mood and in no way willing to spend another moment near everyone. Which means you're probably going to sleep in your own room tonight.

"Y/N, can I talk to you?" Jimin asks, standing up to face you. For a moment, you feel panicked, not sure how to get out of it. He tone is deadpan and slightly harsh, meaning whatever he has to say likely isn't positive. At first you look to Jungkook, hoping he might be of some assistance, but before you can even ask, he is already heading to his room.

"Sure." When he grabs your arm, you realize the severity of the situation. He doesn't just want to talk, he wants to talk talk.

Pulling you into his room he shuts it behind him. Everything about this situation makes you feel weird and not in the 'oh this might lead to some really hot sex' kind of way.

"I like you." He states, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'm aware." As much as you'd love to sit here any longer, you're also not in any mood to play games with him. Not like this.

"So you know. And I know you like me. And I know we can't be in a relationship... but." He pauses, finally dropping his arms. "I don't know, this isn't going how I planned."

This fucking idiot.

"Not going as planned? How the hell did you think this was gonna go?" Sometimes it truly amazes you the kind of people you managed to live in the same house with.

"Not sure. Just not like this. Can we change the rules?" He asks, giving you his best, pleading smile. You can't help but scoff. He truly is on some other level.

"First of all, we're not changing any rule. Second of all, how dare you think you can trap me in your bedroom and expect me to somehow say yes to whatever weird proposition you're trying to make. Third of all, I do like you but I also know boundaries. This is a little extreme, Jimin." Nodding his head, he takes in your words, probably finding a way to get out of this situation.

"Okay. But can I at least tell you how I feel?"

"The floor is all yours." Shifting his weight between his feet, he pushes his bands out of his face. You already know you're in for quite the show.

"I know I have a really bad habit of saying this. But I mean it when I say it to you. That you are genuinely the most beautiful person I have ever met. And not just for looks. I mean of course, that but I mean otherwise too."

Oh boy.

"And even though I've been nothing but an asshole to you, and I have an awful tendency to bring girls over, I still believe it's true. Wow I sound pathetic. Okay," he pauses, licking his lips, "I know we can't date, but I think being around you has made me a better person."

Is he forreal?

"I don't want to mess around anymore. Hence why you haven't seen... her in a while."

"Do you even remember her name?" You interject, not buying a single word coming out of his mouth.

"I do, but that's not the point. As I was saying, I want to be better person even if it means we can't be in a relationship. At least not right now, I don't plan on living in this house forever."

Oh, he forreal, forreal.

"I just want you to know your feelings are reciprocated and had it not been for the rules, we probably would have spent an eternity together."

"Alright, this was fun, thank you for letting me know how you feel. I'm glad we got to have this talk, and yes, even though we can't date, it was lovely getting to understand your point of view. I'm glad you want to become a better person, and I hope you continue on that path." Sitting up from his bed, you try your best not to laugh. Whatever exchange that was, it really put the nail in the coffin regarding your diminished feelings. You had known a while ago that whatever feelings you had would inevitably lead you nowhere. Either that or to heartbreak. And seeing him now, you are relieved knowing that in the end, Yoongi was right. Jimin just isn't the one meant for you.

Closing the door behind you, not bothering to hear another word, you make your way into your own sanctuary. Except when you open the door, you are met with another set of eyes illuminated solely by the nightlight that resides underneath your desk.

"Jesus Christ Jungkook! I could have had a heart attack!" With your hand on your chest, you lean back against the door, hoping at least it will keep you upright.

"Sorry, I needed to ask you about details for this weekend and I didn't want to interrupt. I heard everything, that was. fucking. awful." He whispers, emphasizing his last words. Which, to be fair, isn't wrong. It was truly one of the most awful conversations you'd ever had with Jimin.

"I mean yeah you're right, it was awful. I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt that deep in their soul. But what did you want to talk about?" You ask, sitting on the bed next to him. The last thing you want to do is talk more about what had transpired in the other room. You’re definitely taking that to your grave.

"Right, so it's a nice restaurant and everything and it's probably expected that we dress formally right, and honestly, I have no idea what your closet looks like and considering the reservation is for tomorrow, I wasn't sure you'd be prepared soooo..." He pauses, reaching to the side of the bed, "I bought you something."

"Jungkook! No!" Although he is right, you don't really have anything expensive to wear per se, but you never considered the idea that he would actually buy you something.

"I had it earlier, but I figured it didn't make sense to give it you if you weren't going to say yes." Handing it over, he rushes to turn on the light. In your lap is a large blue box etched with gold writing. It looks extremely expensive.

Opening the top, your first instinct is to cover your mouth. Inside the tissue, there lies a beautiful, sapphire dress, adorned with small beading along the bust line. It has spaghetti straps, not particularly your favorite, but at this point who are you to complain.

"Jungkook, this is gorgeous. How in the hell did you afford this?" You question is only answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You deserve it. Try it on." Standing up he wanders into your bathroom, closing the door.

"I'll wait in here! I just want to know that it fits, I kinda had to guess." If there's one thing he's good at, it's being cute, and for some reason, you just can't seem to get enough.

Taking off your clothes and putting on the dress, you're surprised when you look in the mirror to see that actually... it fits perfectly. Twirling around a few times, you watch as the train dances with you, the embroidery along the bust sparkling against your bedroom lights. The dress is velvet, extremely soft against your skin, and for once in your life, you actually feel glamorous. If only your hair and face matched, you might have just asked yourself out.

"You done?" He questions through the door. Even though he's the one who bought it for you, you're a little nervous for him to see you in it. When it comes to your body, you've never been the most confident, but considering how stunning you look even in your own humble opinion, you only predict that he might find it lovely as well.

"Yeah I'm ready." When the door opens slowly, you notice he has his hand over his eyes, the other being used to navigate his way around.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I want to be really surprised, that's all. I already know you look great, but it’s more fun this way." You can't help but scoff at his remark, his smooth words soothing the anxiety pooling in your chest.

"You can open them now." You coax, hoping that by doing so you can get this entire thing over with.

Removing his hand, he looks up at you, only for his smile to disappear entirely. For a moment you begin to panic, the fact that he hasn't said a word only stressing you out.

"Jungkook? What do you think?" When he doesn't respond, you're seconds away from calling everything off. You feel embarrassed and slightly humiliated.

"I-... sorry I just don't have words? To express how beautiful you look? Wait I don't mean to phrase that as a question, but really, you look stunning. More than that. Shit, Sofi what's a better word for stunning."

"OK, I found this on the web for 'what's a better word for stunning':"

"Dammit, Sofi, you're useless." Tossing his phone behind him, he can only stare at you. Glancing between your back and your image in the mirror, he can't seem to tear his eyes away.

"Definitely wear that tomorrow. It's perfect. I have a matching tie, we'll be the best dressed there guaranteed." He says, his vibrant smile returning to his features.

Turning around, you immediately run to give him a hug. Everything about this Valentine's Day seems to be falling into place.

"Thank you..." Hugging you back, he instinctively pulls you into his lap. Neither of you say anything, instead relishing in each other's presence. For a while you stay just like that, at least until you get a glimpse of the clock.

"Holy shit, it's 1? Where did the time go, wasn't it just 9?"

"I don't know what planet you're living on," he responds, "but it was nine ages ago." Rolling your eyes, you remove yourself from his lap. Despite the excitement still coursing through your veins, you know that in order to be a functioning human, you need to get your sleep. And besides, you have a lot of preparation to do for the evening. Especially on those legs of yours.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning, yeah?" You hope he catches the hint.

"Oh, yeah. Sounds good." Wiping his hands on his sweats, he gets up from the bed. However, before leaving, he can't help but take one last glance at you. The glint in his eyes is almost bewitching, the way pure joy radiates from his expression being too much for your weak heart. After sending him off with a smile, he carefully exits your room, finally leaving you to your own devices. It would be an understatement to say you are excited for tomorrow, but more than anything, you're exhausted. After changing into sleep attire, all it takes is for head to hit the pillow before you whisked to sleep, the teddy bear clutched within your grasp.

Getting ready for the dinner was an adventure in itself, coordinating ways to sneak out of the house so that neither Yoongi nor Jimin were suspicious of your activities. But from the way you had spent nearly seven hours in your room, pampering to the nines with a bubble bath and face mask treatment included, Yoongi was already suspicious of you. However, convincing him that it was something you desperately needed didn’t take much effort, a fact to which he quickly agreed.

“Are you excited?” Jungkook asks, holding your hand across the center console.

“A little nervous, honestly. What if people stare at me?”

“And what if they do? It’s because you’re gorgeous, trust me. You haven’t a thing to worry about.” Despite feeling hesitant, you know to trust his words. No matter what happens, he will take care of you, a promise he had made right before you had left.

The drive to the restaurant is relatively short, making it to the lake taking only twenty minutes. Much to your surprise, Jungkook manages to find the right place with little help of his phone, relying solely on his memory to take the right turns. When the valet comes to open the door, you can’t help but feel like royalty. Even the staff, greeting patrons with warm towels outside the door, are dressed exquisitely well.

With Jungkook finally at your side, he intertwines his fingers with yours. The excitement on his face becomes contagious, no longer able to hide your smile. Everything is starting to come together – the attire, the scenery, the date. If only you could relax a little more, you might be able to make it through the main doors without inevitably passing out. Taking a deep breath, you finally ascend the set of stairs, accepting the hot towel without so much as a problem. Walking into the restaurant is like walking into a castle, everything adorned with gold, various paintings hanging on the wall. He wasn’t kidding when he said the restaurant screamed expensive. You’re certain you can’t afford to even look the place.

“Reservation under Jeon Jungkook.” Squeezing his hand, you try to calm the rapid beating of your heart. Every part of you feels like it’s about to explode, the realization that this isn’t just a dream. This is real life.

“Right this way.” As the host leads you down the hallway and into the large dining area, you quickly find yourself lost in a maze. Unlike the outside, the inside is massive, several dining rooms contained within this one building. Each room had its own theme, set with its own wallpaper and various works of art. Upon traveling into the room with navy, one that seemed to complement your dress nicely, you find yourself starting to get sick with anticipation. You just want to sit down.

Finally making it to your table, the menus set in front of you, you feel as though you can finally breathe. Even Jungkook notices the way you relax once the host disappears from sight.

“You gonna be okay?” He asks, raising a brow. Nodding your head, you can’t seem to find your voice. All day you’ve been focused on the food, and now that you’re finally here, you can’t wait to dig in. Opening the menu, everything is as you expected. No prices.

“Get whatever you want. Everything is on me tonight.”

Dinner had gone smoothly, everything coming out perfect. Both you and Jungkook decided to get separate dishes, sharing as much as possible to get the full experience. Even having glasses of wine, him only one and you, well, quite a few, only added to the ambiance of it all. It was the nicest place you’d ever stepped foot in and probably forever will be. And now you have a beautiful and expensive dress to add to the collection of clothes you will never be able to wear again.

“I’m so tired, that was so good. Let’s go back there again.” Hitting his arm in disbelief, you wonder how he could even suggest blowing that kind of money again.

“As much as I loved it, please don’t ever spend money like that again. I will literally cook whatever you want.” Taking the thought into consideration, he looks between you and the road.

“Sounds promising. But not the same.” The shit-eating grin on his face is only one small indication of his slightly sadistic behavior, loving to watch money fly out of his bank account somehow becoming his favorite thing. You will never understand him, not that you ever think you could, but you still can’t help but appreciate the sincerity behind his actions.

The drive home is quiet, basking in the sights of the night sky and the moon. Both of you are exhausted, despite not having done much at all, the thought of just lying in bed more enticing than anything else.

Parking in the driveway, you try to close the door as quietly as possible. More than likely, the other two are awake, and the last thing you need is to be berated with questions. Once inside, Jungkook gracefully returning his keys to the proper spot, he grabs your wrist and leads you in the direction of his bedroom. Neither Jimin nor Yoongi seem to be around, making your transition back into normal life that much easier.

With you both inside, he quietly closes and locks the door. Taking a glance at each other, you can only smile, the day being far more eventful than you could have imagined. Removing your heels and your jewelry, you set everything aside in the corner of the room, immediately plopping onto the bed. Just like before, your body melts into the mattress, only this time, you don’t feel as awkward.

“Tired already?” Climbing onto the bed beside you, he begins massaging your back, his tender hands doing wonders on your muscles.

“That feels so good… please don’t stop…” Just the simple act of his hands on your back is enough to lull you to sleep.

“Com’ere.” Just when you thought you were going to be able to rest, Jungkook moves away from you toward the head of the bed. You were really banking on a full blown massage, but you suppose that might have been too much to ask for considering all he’s done for you in the first place.

Lifting yourself up, crawl toward him on the bed, hating the way your body aches in response to the movement.

“Lie down and close your eyes.” As if he had to tell you twice.

Placing a pillow over your face, you wait patiently as he gets up and moves around the room. From different areas you hear him rummaging through various bags, the sound of clicking quickly followed by strings of profanities.

“So romantic.” You comment, laughing at his odd behavior.

“One moment, I promise I’m almost done.”

Counting backwards in your head, you try to keep yourself preoccupied, hoping you don’t fall asleep before he even gets the chance to reveal the surprise. That would be something that would only happen to you of all people.

“Okay aaaand, done!”

Tossing the pillow aside, you sit up and open your eyes only to be met with an array of candles surrounding the room. Beside you on the bed, there are various rose petals, a combination of red, pink and white.

Everything is straight out of a movie, picturesque in the way it’s simple, yet romantic.

“Jungkook… why are you so good to me?” You’ve never experienced such genuine acts of kindness in your life, never once having been courted nearly as much as you have been with him. The fact that he’s gone to such an extent for someone he’s not even in a relationship with is still baffling. The idea that you are on the receiving end of it even more so.

“I… I like you. I like you a lot and I think you deserve the world. And even though I can’t give that to you, I hope this in some way shows my appreciation.” Just listening to his words is enough to nearly bring you to tears, the exhaustion mixed with his adorable nature only adding fuel to the fire. You are so soft, especially for him, that you aren’t sure how you are going to move forward from this. He won over your heart, in its entirety. How were you possibly going to explain that?

“I want to show you… how much I care for you. May I?” Never before have you been asked such a question, but considering it’s Jungkook, this is something you wouldn’t put past him. He is the sweetest person to ever exist, and yet you are only just discovering the fact.

“Yes… please.” With a gentle smile, he joins you on the bed, holding you as close to him as possible. As he gently strokes your hair, you can only admire his features in the dim lighting, appreciative of the fact that he is here with you.

Leaning back onto the pillow, he pulls you forward, staring directly into your eyes. Everything about this feels surreal, from the lighting of the candles, to the rose petals strewn across the bed. To you, the entire night has been nothing but perfect.

“Are you ready?” He asks gently, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. Despite the nerves starting to get to you, you nod in response. You are so nervous, it seems, that you didn’t even notice your death grip on the comfort.

Running his fingers along your arm, he tries to reassure you. “It’s okay, don’t be nervous. I promise I’ll make you feel good.” Leaning forward, he captures your lips in his, moving slowly to adjust to your taste. At first, you can’t help but feel stiff, it having been far too long since you’ve opened yourself up enough to kiss someone. But as he guides you through the process, carefully rubbing your back, you find yourself relaxing into him. But when you feel your breasts against his chest, you quickly pull away, the feeling having become entirely foreign.

“Ah sorry, I just forgot how that feels…” Closing your eyes in embarrassment, you mentally scold yourself for coming off like an idiot. At this point in your life, you think you would be able to get your nipples touched without creating a scene.

“It’s okay. Let me help.” Taking the spaghetti straps of the dress, he slides them down your shoulders, exposing the hardened buds. Very gently, he uses his fingers to graze them, allowing you to readjust to the new sensation. You had really considered the idea that it hadn’t been that long since you last had any sexual interactions, but based on the way your body seems to be reacting to Jungkook, you are convinced that it has been far longer than you had thought.

For a while he continues his ministrations, pleasure starting to take over your senses as you lean into his touch. Never before have your nipples been this sensitive.

When he suddenly stops, a whine immediately falls from your lips. You had been enjoying yourself so much that you nearly forgot this was just the beginning. Placing his hands on your cheeks, he pulls you into him to continue where he left off. This time around, you find your rhythm almost immediately, molding your lips with his. Unlike others you have kissed, his lips are extremely soft, making his kisses much more delicate. He feels like heaven against your own. As everything progresses, he moves his hands so that one is on your thigh, the other on the small of your back. Grabbing at the fabric of the dress, he tries to pull you closer, never once breaking contact. However, with it having been so long, your ability to hold your breath no longer serves you, and not soon after, you have to break away for air.

“We should probably get this off you… it wasn’t cheap ya know.” He gently suggests with a smile, grabbing the train of the dress and slowly lifting it up and over your head. Normally, you would have done it yourself, but considering he takes so much pride in his gift, you allow him do as he wishes.

Gently setting it aside, making sure it is out of the way, he returns his attention to you. Only this time his attention has faltered slightly, choosing instead to focus on unchartered territory.

“White lace? How fitting for an angel.” As much as you would have liked to scold him for his choice of words, you know you had set yourself up for that one.

“Hush…” You can’t help but shy away from him, everything he does only turning you into sappy mush.

Just as he’s about to lean in for another kiss, you instinctively go to take off his shirt. Unfortunately for him, and you suppose you as well, you miscalculate the distance, ultimately head butting him in the face. In horror, you cradle his cheeks to check the damage, but when he only has a small smile on his face, you are left both concerned and confused.

“I’m so sorry, I’m such a mess, are you okay?” Taking your hand, he kisses along your knuckles, making sure not to break eye contact with you.

“Yes I’m fine, don’t worry,” He reassures, placing your hand at the bottom of his dress shirt, “come take it off.” His seductive tone only melts you to your core, every reservation you had now being pushed aside for what you can finally say is a willingness to let him take control.

Doing as you were told, you unbutton it one by one, taking extreme care as to not fuck up anything else. You were already nervous, but now you are entirely on edge to the point where you can’t even stop your hands from shaking. Pretending not to notice, he allows you to continue at your own pace, so entranced by the concentrated look on your face that he doesn’t even realize you had finished the last one.

Leaning forward, he allows you to remove the rest. You try your best to be gentle, but the excitement mixed with fear is doing nothing to help you. Everything you touch feels expensive, him included, and the last thing you want is to ruin the clothing he has worked so hard to afford. And just when you thought things couldn’t get better, you are met with the image of toned muscles, the faint lining of his six-pack barely visible in the dim lighting. This entire time, underneath his clothes, he’s been hiding this kind of body. Considering you’ve never seen him work out, you figure he might just be naturally gifted, either that or he just does it in the privacy of his own room.

With the shirt finally out of the way, he pulls you closer until you are nearly lying on top of him.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He questions, squeezing you tightly.

“So I’ve been told.” Your abilities to respond to compliments have always been questionable, and even amidst sex, you can’t seem to pull your act together. Luckily for you, he finds your sense of humor adorable. Or at the very least, entertaining.

Returning his attention to your body, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. The moans that escape the borders of your lips are suddenly cut short, his hand being gently placed over your mouth.

“The rules, remember?” Despite having warned you, he continues to attack your breast with little to no mercy, removing his hand to give some attention to the other nipple. Caught between pleasure and fear, you try to withhold the sounds from escaping. Just as you suspected, it’s much harder when the person you’re with knows what they’re doing. And Jungkook seems to know this game very well.

Removing himself with a muffled pop, he gently flips you over until you are lying down on your back.

“Let me pleasure you.” He says, leaving one final kiss upon your lips.

Nodding your head, you allow him to do as he pleases, watching as he leaves a trail of kisses down the length of your torso. Upon reaching your lower half, you can’t help but squirm slightly, the anticipation already killing you before he even begins.

Placing kisses along the waistband of your panties, you can already feel the arousal starting to stick to them. He hasn’t much of anything and yet he has you wrapped around his finger. Pulling them down gently, he exposes your womanhood, licking a strip from your entrance to your clit. Despite trying to mentally prepare yourself, you find yourself unable to control the groan that escapes past your clenched teeth. Using your hand to cover your own mouth, you squirm underneath his touch as he places two fingers against your clit. Your underwear, having been ditched at your ankles, becomes long forgotten the moment he begins his fingers in circles. Moving agonizingly slow, he watches in fascination as you try to keep yourself together, bucking your hips every now and then to chase the stimulation.

Switching out his fingers, he returns his mouth to your bud, nothing but cat licks coaxing you to the edge. Having his mouth on you is driving you insane, more pleasurable than you ever could have imagined. The way he sucks on you, using his fingers to tease your entrance is enough to nearly put you out of commission. Clearly you had forgotten just how good sex can really be. Or maybe it’s just him.

Removing himself from your core, he returns to the head of the bed. Unable to control your desires, you place your hands on his cheeks, pulling him toward you and against your lips. The taste of your own arousal turns you on more, the thoughts of what else is to come only fueling your impatience.

Reaching between you, you aim for his belt, the angle suddenly making it awkward to pull it through the loops.

“Having a rough time there?” His mocking nature only eggs you on more, the determination to remove his pants that much stronger.

Using both hands, you manage to finally get the belt undone, next unzipping with so much vigor that for a moment, you genuinely thought you broke it. Doing you a favor, he finishes the job, removing his underwear along with them, only to be tossed to the side.

With his erection finally free from the constraints, you get the chance to admire him up close. Everything about him is perfect, no surprise that he is also well endowed.

“Like what you see?” He asks, leaving a trail of kisses along your jawline.

“Of course.” It would have been a lie to say otherwise, not that you would ever need to fabricate the truth.

Readjusting himself above you, he lines his erection with your entrance. Holding your breath, you remain still while he slides himself in, the stretching of your walls being something you haven’t felt in quite some time.

“Still doing okay? Does it hurt?” Shaking your head, your try to get him to continue. The slower he is, the longer it will take to fully adjust, and considering how badly you wish for him to make love to you, you’re surprised you’ve managed to hold out for this long.

Finally finding his pace, he continues to leave his mark along your neck. You try your best to bite your tongue, knowing full well what will happen if you manage to get caught. But as he increases his pace, holding it in might much more difficult.

“Moan in my ear,” he whispers against your jaw, “don’t hold it in. Let me hear you.” Just when you thought you were going to make it out alive, his words only coax out every moan from within you. Not soon after, his thrusts become quicker and more sloppy, the sound of skin against skin reverberating off the walls of his room. Digging your nails into his back, you try to chase your high, the biting against your neck doing nothing to aid in desire to keep quiet. When his thrusts become hard, bucking his hips into you, his name becomes a mantra on your lips, your vocalizations only becoming louder with every subsequent thrust. You are so close to your orgasm, the stars behind your eyelids only a small indication. The coil in your stomach finally snaps, a wave of euphoria washing over your entire body.

Feeling you come around him, he only lasts a few more before quickly pulling out, spilling his seed onto your stomach and your chest.

“Fuck.” Catching his breath, he sits up, wiping the film of sweat from his forehead. Neither of you are able to move, the physical expense of your activities finally taking their toll.

As much as you would have liked to admire his sweaty body all day, the cold beginning to set on your abdomen is only becoming more uncomfortable.

“Can I get a tissue or something?” Crashing back into reality, he hops from the bed, opening one of his dresser drawers. Pulling out a small towel, he returns to your side, taking it upon himself to clean the mess.

“So does this mean we’re dating now?” He asks, trying to keep a straight face.

“We can’t it’s against the rules.”

“I’m pretty sure you outed us with your moans. Might as well go all out you know?” As much as you hate to admit it, he has a point. You know exactly what kind of treat you’ll be in for tomorrow, disapproving looks to be received from both your other housemates.

you grab a handgun of your choice and move to the shooting range

you choose the hardest level with moving targets and you hear some more snickering

but you’re already smiling bc you know they about to be shook™

so to put it lightly you slay your audition, snatching their wigs and hitting every target and everyone claps, unexpectedly surprised

you bow at the mentors and return to your spot

as you do, you see your opportunity to sneak a peek at the boy next to you and oh

he’s kinda hot??

and did he just smirk at you?

you watch as the rest of the trainees audition and finally it’s his turn

“Kim Taehyung”

for some reason you make a mental note to remember that name

and oH HE’S CHOOsinG THE saME guN AS YOu

AND he also slays noW YOU FEELIN NERVOUS SON

you get a little nervous if you’ll get accepted now since there are two fighting with the same weapon and he was really fucking good

…

…

but surprise surprise you DO get accepted

and so did the boy apparently wow

the first week or so is all just meetings and discussing and explaining the training

all you remember is that they mentioned baseball was important for some reason

testing speed, agility and they also mentioned it was a fun and chill way to improve teamwork 

you also heard the word studying

you immediately considered shooting yourself

but your motivation returned immediately when you heard that you’d be sent to field on small missions too every once in a while

so soon enough you’re all standing in a field about to play baseball

you get divided into two teams and you immediately notice you’re not in the same team as Taehyung

you’re intrigued by him but you try to stay away, telling yourself you have to focus on training to pass on first go

so the teams are told to vote for a leader

two boys volunteer for the leaders spot and you recognize them both

Park Jimin you remember his name being

you had not spoken with him yet so you didn’t know much about him

the other one however

Jung Hoseok aka J-hope as people called him

you had spoken to him tho and he seemed nice and smart

he was specialized in computers and melee weapons

you immediately knew you were going to vote for him, since he seemed like the perfect leader and he seemed to know what he was doing

so everyone in your team asked for your vote first

and you had noticed that ever since your first audition all the other trainees had seemed kind of intimidated by you..?

like as the trainees asked for your vote it seemed like everyone quieted down and were 110% paying attention to your opinion as if they were super interested..?

you thought maybe they respected you after such a good audition

but you don’t let the attention get to your head, you just want to pass the training period on one go

“Hoseok” you reply coolly and you catch the boy in question smile shyly at the ground omG

so Hoseok DOES get voted for the team leader since they seemed to trust your vote and most of them followed your lead

your team was on defence at first

Hoseok then asks everyone if they have any wishes on where they would like to stand on the field while he was being the pitcher

you immediately, knowing your playground, volunteer for third base

as you walk to your spot on the field, you can feel a few suspicious glares shot in your way like at your first audition but you keep your head held high

the game begins and as a runner gets to second base, you get ready, hoping everyone in the game realizes to try and throw you the ball if they catch it

and BAM you got the runner forced out liek a boss

you can see your team starts to respect you and trust you more as the game advances since you’re a great catcher (better than thrower)

and finally you see it’s Taehyungs turn to run to third base

you catch the ball outside the base and race Taehyung to it

it seems like you two made it at the same time

so you two intensely stare at each other until ‘forceout’ gets yelled

Taehyung looks bitter as he walks off the field all defeated

you smirk to yourself when he isn’t looking

the rest of the game went by in a flash

finally the game is over and your team had won

you and your team members hug each other out and for the first time you actually feel accepted and not judged so you smile

the next few days are full of studying in small class rooms

studying includes weapons and tactics etc

once again you impress everyone by having a lot of knowledge about guns, especially hand guns

you’re the top of your class boiiii

sometimes you think you catch Taehyung staring at you in class, but you try your best to not pay attention to it

you always feel kind of nervous and not so confident when you have classes with him

he always seems to be challenging you, since he is pretty knowledgeable as well

it kinda pisses you off from time to time

before you know it it’s time to play baseball again

you get divided into different groups again and this time you’re on his team

he gets voted for leader

as everyone is waiting for the leader to give them spots on the field

your eyes meet

he then nods towards you and says ‘third base’

you sigh a relief and silently thank him for seeing your potentiality

you notice during the game that he seems to be sending you instructions with his eyes as if he was sending you his thoughts?

so you decide two can play that game and you two end up team working mentally pretty damn well

much to your irritation

aaaand your team wins again

after the game

as your team hugs it out again, Taehyung nods at you and you nod back at him as if to pay respects

then after a few weeks (or has it been months? you lost track of time) of studying and having random practices, it’s time for your first on field missions

the mentors explain everyone that you’re supposed to choose a partner for the mission and work it through with them

you’re like 'oh shit’ and immediately start going through your options

you’re not too good at making friends so you basically don’t know a lot of them

you only really knew Hoseok, but you knew you couldn’t work with him since your specialties were far too different it wouldn’t be an advantage on field

once everyone starts to approach someone who they’re friends with, you awkwardly stand still for a moment

you look around and then spot Taehyung leaning against a tree all cool, cleaning a knife to his jacket sleeve

so you decide to be brave and approach him

“Taehyung, right?”

he looks up at you and hesitates for a moment

“(Y/N), right?”

you nod, smiling slightly, then shuffling closer to him

“I was thinking, we teamed up pretty good at baseball last time. And you seem to know your way around handguns like I do…”

he chuckles but pushes himself off the tree

“let’s work together” he seems to pick up as he asks you

you nod and you two shake hands

as you look around, you can see a lot of people staring your way, whispering to each other not so subtly

but you both ignore them

so finally you and Taehyung get handed your mission

you’re supposed to ambush a small garage with a couple of the bangtan gangs enemies and execute them, nothing too big

so as night falls and you find yourself crouched down behind a car with Taehyung, waiting for a perfect opportunity to strike the guard outside

you sneak a peek and find the guard alone, looking at Taehyung to see what he wants to do

he nods at you and then towards the guard, signalling he was letting you have the first kill

you don’t question him and immediately make a move

you quickly sneak behind the guy and trap him in a headlock, pointing your gun to his temple

the guard stiffens at first and raises his hands

“how many friends do you have inside?” you quietly ask the guy, pressing your gun hard against him to let him know you were serious

to your surprise, the guy seems to relax a bit on your hold

“who’s stupid enough to send a little girl on u-”

and before the guy had the chance to complete his sentence, you had forcefully snapped his neck and his body fell limp in your arms

you let him fall to the ground and you stared at his body disgusted

you were beyond pissed

you couldn’t believe what you heard, how everyone seemed to be judging you just because you were a girl

so you kicked his body a few times out of frustration

Taehyung walked out of his hiding spot and approached you

“There are not a lot of girls in this industry”

you look up at him, expecting him to judge you too so you send him death glares

“That’s why they don’t feel that threatened when they realize it’s a girl. They think girls can’t survive. It makes sense to them. They’re idiots.”

you stare at him for a while, but then realize he’s right

but you’re stubborn so you just shake your head, annoyed by how smart he is

“let’s just finish this mission.” and fortunately he drops it and continues the mission

before you know it, it looks like you two have sneak killed everyone in the garage

so you step out of your hiding spots, looking around

but unexpectedly, two guys attack you from behind and before neither of you can react, they have you both in headlocks, pointing guns to your temples

for the first time in a while, you feel genuinely scared, especially since they stripped you two of any weapons you had

you try to make a move and bite the guys arm holding you, but you don’t succeed

the guy holding Taehyung notices this and shouts at you to not move and accidentally makes the mistake to point his gun at you

Taehyung, seeing his chance takes a hold of his guys arm (that has the gun) and manages to shoot the guy head locking you

you fall to the ground with his dead body but manage to see Taehyung then snatch the gun from the guy completely and shoot him too

you’re shocked to say the least, not being able to stand up from the ground for a moment

Taehyung then walks over to you, and you’re ready to be scolded, but he doesn’t say anything

instead, he offers you his hand

you give it a stare, but grab it, letting him lift you up

you’re still too shocked to say anything, so when he asks if you’re okay, all you can do is nod, but it’s good enough for him

before you know it, it’s been a few days since your mission

or has it been a week already? you don’t know time just really goes by so fast

all you know is you’ve been practicing like crazy

what happened on that mission

you had to make sure nothing like that was to happen again

you needed to be better

and when you’re not practicing you’re studying

but it’s the weekend and you heard the trainees are going to party at a local club

so you tell yourself you’re gonna drive yourself insane if you keep practicing and don’t chill for a bit

so you doll yourself up and make your way to the club

you order a drink for yourself and sit at the bar, when Hoseok sits next to you

you two start to chat up and you both come to the realization that the final test is approaching

so of course, he asks you which mentor you think you’re gonna choose

you smile, already knowing your answer

you had known ever since you auditioned that you were going on Min Yoongis aka Sugas team

“I’m most probably choosing Min Sugas team.”

Hoseok smiles, telling you he had expected it from you and it was the best choice for you

Yoongi was specialized in sniping, precision and hand guns

Namjoon was specialized in combat and all guns

Seokjin was specialized in guarding, melee and protection

so then you ask Hoseok back

but he looks down and shrugs

“I don’t really know who to choose.”

“I think you should choose Seokjin. You’re smart and good with melee and he seems the type to be able to mentor you the best out of the three.”

you smile at him and he actually brightens up at your compliments

so he thanks you and says he’ll consider it, making a mental note

then his friend Jeon Jungkook you remember his name being, calls for him so he excuses himself

to your unfortunate, you’re not alone for long before a man, looking to be in his forties approaches you

he sits down next to you and you can feel his eyes staring at you but you don’t spare him a glance

“why are you all alone in here, beautiful?”

you can feel yourself beginning to barf so you don’t say anything to keep it inside and hope he gets the hint

but he doesn’t

so he extends his hand and is about to brush your cheek but something blocks him from doing so

you look up to see none other than Taehyung giving the guy death glares and holding his wrist in a tight grip

the man looks scared and quickly scurries away from the scene

Taehyung then takes his place on the bar stool next to you

“You really can’t do anything without me, can you?” he smirks at you playfully

you roll your eyes but can’t help but smile

“I was doing fine on my own.”

he raises his hands in surrender and orders himself a drink

“So, Min Suga?” he questions your name of choice and you realize he had been stalking on your conversation with Hoseok

“Do you always stalk other people’s conversations?”

he chuckles and it annoys you OH SO MUCH

“only when I can see a forty-old man staring creepily at a girl” he defends himself

you don’t even notice it, but you’re soon passionately annoyed to the point you start challenging him

until you both drop it and fall into a genuinely nice conversation about how you’re both passionate about the same stuff

you even end up joking around about your common mission

…

then, time passes again

hard practicing, hard studying

you end up considering Taehyung as your friend and you come along surprisingly well after that night at the club

you pass your theory exam and now the only thing standing on your way is the final test

and soon enough you’re standing in front of the three mentors with the rest of the trainees, waiting for Mr. Kim to stop talking so you’d get to begin choosing mentors

at this point, you finally realized you didn’t even know which mentor Taehyung was choosing, so you started to anticipate it

in fact, you didn’t know a lot of things about him

he seemed like a perfect mystery and you wanted to solve him oh so badly

finally they started shouting out names

your name was among the first ones and when it finally got shouted, you started making your way towards Yoongis team without hesitation

you bowed at him as you made your way to stand next to him

to your surprise, Yoongi smiled at you when he noticed you were choosing his team

you admired him in a lot of levels

he was like your gang idol kind of?

so it played with your heart strings a bit and it got you thinking

did he remember you?

why had he smiled?

did he really like that you were choosing his team?

you’re snapped back to reality when Hoseoks name gets called and you witness him happily stride towards Seokjin

he catches your eye and smiles at you, so you smile back

then almost right after, Taehyungs name gets mentioned

you bite your tongue and follow him closely as he walks over to

…

Kim Namjoon

? okay ?

you’re a little surprised but respect his decision never the less

…

more meetings were held, but this time, within your teams and mentors

the only person you knew of your team was Jungkook, Hoseoks friend

he seemed to be pretty good with a sniper and sneak attacks is what you heard

so far you had even had your fair share of talking to him

you’d say you were acquaintances

…

the final test soon started and you were on field with your mentor and team mates

your motivation right then, was Taehyungs wishes for good luck and him telling you he knew you’d do well

i mean you were pretty motivational even without his cheering, but it had definitely worked as a boost

and you appreciated it, so of course, like a good friend, you had wished him good luck too

and playfully intended that you were afraid he might not do as well without you this time, but fortunately he had gotten the joke and laughed

back to reality

your team was advancing well, until unexpectedly the team mentor, Suga had been caught in a headlock by an enemy

the enemy knew the mentor was with other people and he was shouting for you to show yourselves or he’d kill Suga

you cursed under your breath, trying to think of a plan as quickly as possible in your hiding spot

Jungkook then sneaked his way over to you and you immediately thought of something

you pointed for him to try and sneak behind the guy, while you stayed on your spot

you didn’t see the rest of your team mates, so you decided to take action

you stood up from your hiding spot, hands raised high like the enemy had asked you to do

“good, now drop your gun!” the guy shouted at you and that’s when you saw Jungkook behind them, ready to shoot

so you pretended to play along and dropped your gun

but much to the guys surprise, Jungkook shot the arm that was holding Suga and you quickly took your gun back while the guys attention was turned to Jungkook and shot the guy in the head at the same time with him

but what had caught your eye before the shot, was the smirk on Sugas lips

and then you had realized he had gotten caught by the enemy on purpose to test you guys on how you’d act

after the test had ended, Suga had thanked all the trainees on field and told us to anticipate the results

you were anxious, but Jungkook had assured you that the both of you were going to make it

and the next evening, it was time to hear the results already

the trainees were gathered in one place, standing opposite to the mentors in a row

they held their beginning speeches and said not too many did get accepted, which made you even more nervous than you already were

so they started announcing the accepted members, mentor at a time

Seokjin started announcing first

you were crossing fingers and hoping he’d say Hoseoks name out loud or you’d feel bad for leading him to the wrong mentor

first he announces Jimins name and everyone claps

and the only other one to be accepted by him, was

…

Hoseok of course lol who’d you thank

you smiled proudly and clapped at his surprised and relieved face

next was Namjoons turn

but before he started announcing, he told everyone only one from his team had made it

you could see Taehyung visibly stiffen

but once his name was out, your smile widened from before and you felt slightly relieved for him

and finally it was your mentors turn

he mentioned two from his team had made it and you were praying to Gods those two were you and Jungkook

Jungkook sent you a comforting look, saying 'I told you so’ with his eyes

…

and then your names were spoken out loud and you hugged Jungkook, feeling like a weight just got lifted off your shoulders

as you bowed at Yoongi and made your ways to his side as the new members of THE Bangtan gang, Yoongi had smiled at you again, even sending you a wink

soon after the ceremony was over, you were once again sitting in a meeting

but now, as a real member, as a whole gang

you hadn’t payed much attention to what they were saying, until someone mentioned your name and your head snapped up

“(Y/N) and Taehyung… you were pretty impressive on your common mission. You have amazing team work.” Namjoon complimented and you both thanked him, bowing slightly

“So we were thinking we’d want to see more of that team work on field. Would you agree to work as partners again?”

you locked eyes with Taehyung

he smirked and you smirked

“yes, sir.” Taehyung replied first

“yes, sir.” you agreed right after, making the mentors look very pleased

so you shook hands again, and to be honest, you couldn’t wait to work with him more

your brain never really registered you were actually in a gang now

it just kept working like it did before, always wanting to approve more and more

so you kept yourself busy by training and practicing like you did before, although it wasn’t that necessary anymore, you were already accepted into the gang

then it was time for your first mission as a gang and you were ambushing a smaller gang’s base

Yoongi and Jungkook were on rooftops with sniper rifles, ready to shoot and watch the rests backs

Namjoon was leading the ground team, Hoseok and Jimin being right behind him

You and Taehyung stood in the middle of the formation, your mission to protect the team leader

Seokjin was at the rear, watching everyones backs

the mission went on pretty well, you and Taehyung working together like a damn dream team, protecting each other and at the same time the other team members

…

but of course something always goes wrong

Taehyung took his eyes off of you for a second and boom you were headlocked with a very big knife against your neck and dragged to a corner

you had never seen a knife, or more like a sword as big as the one against your neck, and it had already cut a small wound, which made you scared as ever

also it seemed like no one had noticed him snatching you away

you were never good with knives or close combat, rather better with precision from a distance

you were now starting to think that no one had noticed you absence, when a dark figure jumped at the two of you from the shadows, managing to make the guy drop his knife with a single punch to the right nerve

you took your chance and slipped away from his hold so smoothly and gracefully

you quickly picked up your gun and pointed the guy who had also picked up his knife, launching towards your savior, Taehyung

but you were faster and pulled the trigger before he knew what hit him

you were really impressed by how good Taehyung was at close combat

Taehyung had nodded at you again, before you two quickly got back to the rest of the team, taking the mission to an end

after the mission, everyone gathered comfortably to the gangs apartment building to celebrate, where you were supposed to eventually move too

everyone got into the common living room and some even grabbed a few beers

eventually everyone started talking about the mission

Jimin then started talking about who he was really impressed with

“i’m very impressed with (Y/N) and Taehyung. What a teamwork. It’s almost as if you guys were one person and not two that’s how great you work together!” he explained excitedly and even you laughed at him

but of course you blushed and looked down

and you kind of admired it how confident Taehyung was beside you, he just laughed along like it was normal for him to hear things like that as if he wasn’t that affected

and as you might have gotten lost staring at him you also noticed you actually admired him on deeper levels than just that, whatever that meant

you were yet to figure that out

but you let a small almost unnoticeable smile spread on your lips as you realized you really looked up to him

a few days later you and Taehyung were sent on a mission with just the two of you, nothing big

this time, you got flashbacks to your first mission, as you sneaked behind tables

you launched and trapped a guy in a headlock again, much like the first time

“where’s your boss?” you asked, trying to sound as convincingly threatening as you could, holding the gun to his temple

this time, something registered in the guys eyes as he heard your voice

“oh God i-it’s you, uhh, h- he’s in there.” you were confused as to why the guy sounded so scared of you all of a sudden

but you snapped his neck nonetheless

you stared at the body on the ground like “???”

and heard Taehyung casually walking out of his hiding spot

you dared to look at him confusedly, but found him smugly smirking??

something clicked in your brain

“did you spread rumors about me?”

Taehyung huffs and shakes his head slightly

“what? pfffft no.”

you’re even more confused??

the guy seemed to know who you were??

but only Taehyung knew you were frustrated with this??

“I spread rumors about us.” Taehyung smugly adds

that asshole looked proud as hell

“why the fuck”

“everyone should be afraid of us. we’re the killer duo.” he smirks, then doesn’t say anything else

he just walks into the place guns blazing

so you shake your head, but follow him behind, finishing the mission without any difficulties

…

…

then before you knew it

it was time for you to move in to the apartment building

everyone got their own small apartments

you were finally happy and content to take a refreshing shower after a rough day moving in

but fuck

just your luck, the fucking shower in your apartment breaks

so without any further embarrassment

you decide to knock on your next door neighbours door

who also happens to be Kim Taehyung

he opens the door and sees you hair half wet and goes like

“?? the hell”

so you explain him the situation and ask if you could use his shower

so he let’s you in

turns out you have to use his shower for the next few days

so you end up spending a lot of time at his apartment, before and after your showers just for science

even after your own shower was fixed

one time you were at his apartment, waiting for him to finish showering so you could go in

but the asshole was taking so long

you think he had been in for 30 minutes?

so you knock on the door and yell him to get the fuck out

“(Y/N), you can’t drive me out of my own shower.”

“yes i can it’s been 84 years god dammit.”

so you kind of slide down and sit leaning against the bathroom door

then all of a sudden he OPENS THE DOOR

WHICH HAPPENS TO OPEN TOWARDS THE BATHROOM

so you fall on your back on the ground

AND JUST HAPPEN TO SLIDE PERFECTLY BELOW HIM BETWEEN HIS FEET

AND YOUR POOR LUCKY? EYES SEES UNDER HIS TOWEL

so you only naturally scream and cover your eyes and he’s liek

“oHHH shIT how’D YOu geT IN THerE”

then he steps away and starts laughing at you dying on the bathroom floor

“I THINK I’M BLIND”

“stop being overly dramatic lmao”

“I wasn’t expecting to get attacked here on my own apartment but i guess i have to be prepared everywhere and at all times now since i’m in a dangerous gang”

“this is my apartment”

“shUT UP no one asked for your opinion”

ever since that incident you had decided to take the shower first

and one day Taehyung comes out of the shower after you and he just stands there staring at you so you turn to him to see what’s wrong

and oh

boy

he’s standing there with a very bright pink colored thong in his hand, staring at you

then realization hits you bc ’wow what a cute thong why does it look so familia-’

“KIM TAEHYUNG WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY THONG”

so he almost cracks up but

then he just kind of smirks at you and proceeds to put the thong in his jeans pocket teasingly and you fucking launch at him from the couch like “biTCH NO YOU Didn’T” and chase him around the apartment

one time yall were chilling at the common living room again you accidentally called Taehyung by his cute nickname you had given him in front of all the gang members

“and then Tae Tae just- oh shit” *insert to be continued meme*

so you cover your mouth and everyone starts laughing and teasing

you hadn’t even realized how close you’d become with Taehyung, whether it was on a mission or on your free time

the flirting grew and grew and before you knew it

he had you pinned against the wall at your practice hall

“your reflexes have gotten slower, (Y/N)” he smirks down at you

“or maybe your ego has just gotten bigger”

“you’ll regret that”

and he starts tickling you like there’s no tomorrow and you just die of laughter

but hey it’s a good excuse for your heated cheeks from the close proximity so who cares

from a moment to another

you were on a mission again

together

everything was going well like it had for the past few weeks

until two enemies sneak attack you two

you manage to snap your attackers neck after a while of struggling

'Taehyungs close combat lessons are really helping’ you think to yourself

as you brush yourself off, you see Taehyungs attacker getting on top of him on the ground and starts punching him from side to side like a rag doll

so you get this burst of adrenaline and you become so fucking pissed and you’ve never been so full of rage and energy ever before in your life

so you scream and kind of force yourself to launch and jump on the guys back and hit him with all your might

you manage to get the guy off of him

no one fucks with your Taetae

’your Taetae’

you would have smiled at the thought but now was not the time

the boy in question quickly grabs his gun from the ground, shooting the guy right after he had thrown you off his back

you get up and offer him your hand, which he gladly takes and you pull him up

you notice your hairtie had snapped during combat again

“this is my fourth hair tie gone missing.” you whine as you both casually make your way out of the scene

“you need bullet proof hair ties :)”

“shUT UP”

you had also noticed neither of the two of you ever said thank you out loud, just showed your gratefulness through actions rather

it was your thing

and not too many days later you two were on a similar mission

and just your luck, you get attacked again, but not just by two, but five guys all at once

Taehyung manages to kill the one holding him, and another one

although you’re not sure how since you didn’t see it

being too busy trying to kill your own attacker

but then something happens and the guy fuckign SMASHES you to the ground

he knocks the air out of you and then on top of that

HE PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE AND YOU START SEEING BLACK LITTLE BY LITTLE

just before you lose consciousness completely

the last thing you can see is Taehyung being full of rage and beating the absolute shit out of the rest, taking them all out in record time

you didn’t think you had ever seen him look so scared and worried since he seemed to be very confident usually

then he rushes to your side, but your vision is all black

aaaaand you’re out

…

you remember flashes of someone carrying you at the gangs apartment buildings staircase, you had recognized

until you wake up the next day in a very comfortable position

you look around, recognizing the place as Taehyungs apartment

you carefully sit up and look around for him, then you realize

you had slept on top of him?

kind of like in a sitting position on his lap

and you see his peaceful sleeping form and smile

looking around you see bandages and used towels around the floor

you touch your sore cheek and find there’s a band aid

he had treated you all by himself?

you kind of think he’s an idiot for not telling anyone nor asking help

but you also kind of think it’s hella cute

so you go ahead and kiss him on the cheek gently as a thank you

unexpectedly you hear him almost like gasp?

so you pull away and look at him

then he blinks

but closes his eyes again quickly

“I know you’re awake, Taehyung ”

“no i’m not”

“ok??”

you stay another night at his dorm sleeping on the couch

next morning when you wake up there’s a wrapped present on the table?

you sit up and take the note on top of it

“for (Y/N)”

you’re like “wtf did the idiot do now? spend money on me?”

so you open the gift shaking your head

and it’s a big package of “strong” hair ties as it says in the package

and you remember whining about always snapping them

so you smile

and your heart does backflips

the same night your gang attended a drinking party at a club

you were mostly with Taehyung

he had insisted on keeping a watching eye on you ever since the creepy guy had tried to hit on you and you had rolled your eyes but you were not complaining

but then he excused himself to go to the bathroom

and you chill and wait for him

but then you hear a conversation not too far from where you were

and it sparked your interest bc you were pretty damn sure you heard “Kim Taehyung from the Bangtan gang”

so you listen on

and the guy speaks absolute disgusting stuff about Taehyung

all the stuff was so untrue and you knew it

so you got an urge to kick the guys ass

and when you saw him leaving through the back door alone you saw your chance

and you fucking took it

you followed him to the alleway

and when he noticed he was not alone

and saw you he kinda went like

“can i help you? ;)”

and you were like

“actually, yes”

then you take a hold of his shoulders

and kick him in the nuts

“Taehyung says hello”

talking about the devil the clubs door bursts open and reveals a very worried looking Taehyung

he visibly relaxes when he sees you’re alright

but then he sees the guy is clutching his balls

and he immediately knew what you had done

the guy sees Taehyung and scurries away with his tail between his legs

“(Y/N) what did you do”

“that motherfucker disrespected you so I kicked him in the balls?”

he chuckles at you

and you don’t have time to react

as he pins you against the brick wall

your back kinda hit it hard but it just excited you more

he holds your hands above your head and is so close to your face

you can feel his breath on your lips

and he keeps coming closer and closer

until you close your eyes

but a loud bang happens

the club door is open yet again

as your heads snap to look who it is

it’s Hoseok and he looks like he just ran miles

“it’s the boss. He’s been shot.”

and yall don’t hesitate to run after him bc wtf

this is Mr. Kim we’re talking about here after all

“I know…it’s not fair for you, but it took a lot longer for me to find you. Hoseok was also doing everything in his power to prevent me from finding you…I’m sorry. I really wish that things could have worked out differently.”

At this moment, no words can describe how you feel. Who is Hoseok? Why is Namjoon dying? Why did it take so long for him to find you?

Why did you lose your memories in the first place?

“Why?” You want to say so much more; to ask so much more, but you only have enough strength to say that one word. Despite its simplicity, Namjoon seems to understand what you’re trying to ask and he inhales deeply.

“I don’t even know where to start…”

“The beginning.” You say before you can even process your own words.

Namjoon lets out a heavy breath and slumps his shoulders.

“Alright…but instead of telling you everything, I think it’s better to just show you.”

“What—”

He takes your hand into his and the atmosphere starts to move. You shut your eyes in response to the shock and grip Namjoon’s hands even tighter.

“Open your eyes Y/N.” Namjoon whispers into your ear. You slowly do as he says and notice that you’re no longer in your bedroom. In fact, you’re not even in your apartment. You’re at your favourite cafe that’s just three blocks away from where you live. You look around your surroundings and everything seems normal. People are going about their own business, buying drinks, chatting with friends, the regular. Namjoon guides you closer to the cashier and you start to feel a strange churning in your stomach.

There’s a familiar face standing at the register…an extremely familiar face. You’re standing at the cashier, taking orders from customers.

“Namjoon that’s me…” You turn to him and disbelief and he only nods in response. You turn your attention back into that direction and continue to watch.

You - your past self - continues to take orders from customers. One customer catches your eye; it’s Namjoon

“One large iced americano please.” Namjoon speaks his order and you punch it into the screen.

“Okay, is that all for today? I recommend one of our lemon bars to go with it. It’s my favourite pairing.”

“Is that so? I’ll take one of those too then. I’m taking your word for it.” You smile at the fact that Namjoon listened to your advice.

“I promise you that it won’t disappoint. If it does, your next drink is on me.” You joke around and add the small treat into his order. “Here you go sir.” You hand him his receipt and smile.

“Thank you,” he looks down on your name tag, “Y/N.”

Once again you smile and he’s off to retrieve his order.

“That’s the first time we met.” At this point you can only nod. Not only are you in shock at the fact that you’re rematching what happened in the past, but you’re also heartbroken at the fact that you don’t remember any of this happening.

Namjoon grabs your hand and the scene shifts once again. This time you’re at the park. Namjoon points in the direction of where you should look and surely enough, you find your past self.

“What are you doing that’s got you so focused?” You walk up to Namjoon who is sitting on the park bench.

“Oh hey you made it. I’m not doing much. I just like to writing more of my nonsense.” He closes his notebook and gets up.

“When will I ever get to read what’s on the mighty Namjoon’s mind?” You say jokingly and Namjoon laughs at your remark.

“Maybe one day you will, but for now, it will be my secret.” He teases and takes his hand in yours.

“Is this our first date?” Your ask Namjoon.

“I guess you could say that it’s our official one.”

“Oh…” The more you watch, the heavier your heart gets.

You look back to the scene and notice how happy you looked with Namjoon. Even though you don’t remember any of this happening, you know for sure that he made you feel things that you never experienced before. From the glint in your eyes, to the lightness of your steps and the constant smiling, you know that Namjoon was more than just a simple crush for you.

The scene changes again and the mood already feels a lot different from the previous two. There’s a certain coldness in the air, and by the way you notice you’re seated across from Namjoon, you know that it’s not going to be anything good.

“What do you mean you have to leave?” Your face is full of confusion. You search for some answers in Namjoon’s eyes, but he puts up a wall of neutral facial expression.

“There’s some business I have to take care of.”

“You said you don’t know how long you’ll be gone. Can’t you at least tell me why you need to go?”

“I….it’s complicated.” There’s defeat in Namjoon’s voice. You can tell that he doesn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, but you need to make sure that everything is okay.

“Namjoon.” Your tone is stern. “Please. I just want to know if you’re going to be safe; if you’re okay.” A part of you is scared that Namjoon is cheating on you, but you quickly bury that idea as you can clearly pick out the worry in his voice.

“To be honest, I don’t know what’s going to happen Y/N…They….they don’t approve of this…” They?

“Who is ‘they’? Your parents?”

“No, not quite. More like…my leaders for lack of better words.” Again with the mysterious words. Who are these leaders?

“Namjoon…who are you exactly? You keep telling me that we have to be careful, you keep calling me late at night to ask if I’m safe in my apartment. Sometimes I see you with bruises all over your arm yet you still insist that you’re okay…You’re not…you’re not in a gang are you?”

“No… at least not quite…”

“What do you mean not quite? It’s either you are or you’re not.” Once again, Namjoon pauses before proceeding with his words. You can tell that he’s trying to choose his words carefully.

“It's just that....I'm... an angel of sorts and they....they are the council... a group of elite angels who pretty much govern over us. Pretty much like the government here."

"Oh." You're afraid to ask him anything in case you heard wrong. "An angel?"

"You don't believe me do you?" Your lack of an answer already gives him all the answers he needs. "Look." He stands up swiftly and then the scene unfolds in front of you, literally.

A wave of deja vu hits you and your present self just witnessed something like this not too long ago.

While your past self is still in awe of what is happening, Namjoon continues to speak.

"The council, they found out about our relationship a while ago and now they want it to end. They said that if I don't take care of things soon enough, something bad will happen to the both of us."

The scene finally shifts back to modern day.

You’re speechless. Now that you relived some events of the past, you feel that your memory is coming back a little, but it’s still not enough to make complete sense of the entire situation.

“So…I’m guessing we tried to outsmart the council…” You only say this because of Namjoon’s current state and the fact that you lost your memory.

“Yeah..We tried to escape. We tried to live undercover, start from a clean slate, but none of that worked. No matter where we went, the Council still found us. Hoseok, the head of the council and was also my best friend, he tried to help us for a little bit, but once he saw how everyone was against us, he was the one that took initiative to break us up.”

“So what now?”

Namjoon found you, but he’s also in a terrible state. You’ve spent the past year living in ignorance. You forgot about everything. All was peaceful and calm, but now that Namjoon is here, you know that the peace is gone. However, the comfort of his presence next to you is more rewarding than the quietness you’re accustomed to.

What was it that made you love that clueless bunny so much? What did he have that Taehyung didn’t have? 

Knock. Knock.

The door opened slowly and he already knew who was entering, none other than you. Freaking out at the mess in front of you, you called out, “Taehyung!” As you slowly walk even closer towards the table, you could see the madness that had happened. 

“Y/n.” He said your name so calmly as you could feel his breath on your neck. Turning around in surprise, you held your neck as you backed up a few steps. Your eyes looking into his as you took in his crazed expression. “Why?” He asked you in whisper. “Why did you leave me?” 

“W-what do you mean, Taehyung? I”m in front of you, aren’t I?” You took a step forward, hand reaching towards him only to be rejected as he slapped it away.

“I don’t want your sympathy. You left me! You left me for- for-”

“What are you talking about Taehyung?” In utter confusion, your brows furrowed. “I didn’t leave you! I’m sorry I was late. I was with-”

“You were with that damned bunny boy!” He interrupted as he finished the sentence for you. “You don’t love me the way you love him.” In awe and shock at the same time, your jaw dropped as you didn’t know how to respond. He grabbed onto your wrist as he led you to his room. Shoving you into the room, you fell on your butt as you landed onto many hats. Hats that were different from the usual one he would wear. “I made these for you, all of them.” His tone a bit gentler than from before. “But, now I see where I stand.”

“Taehyung, please don’t do this,” you begged as you grasped onto a hat. “Don’t do this.” 

“No,” he refuted. “You love that damned rabbit so much, you might as well just leave me alone in this never-ending tea party.” He brought you up once more as you were now outside of the room as he was now inside of it. A look of dejection placed on his face as he hurriedly shut the door before something else could be said. You loved someone else and he knew that if he pursued, it would end in heartbreak which is why he closed his heart to you before he would break even more. 

You pounded endlessly on the door begging him to come out so you could talk it out. Hour after hour, still no response. A sigh left your lips, “Fine. I’ll leave you alone.” Footstep after footstep, you finally left the mad hatter to tend to his place.

"Miss, your interview is in less than 5 hours, are you sure that you want to be seen on national television with dog fur all over yourself?" Seulgi wrinkled her nose at me in disgust.

"Shut up Seulgi, I still have so much time," I flopped on my bed with my puppy on my chest. "And don't call me 'miss', I'm your younger sister. Don't be weird."

"You are the one who needs to shut up." She scoffed at me, but quickly started giggling and I joined in as well.

"No, but really, your stylist is waiting for you. What's his again? The cute one? Seok-min?" I let a small chuckle escape from my lips at her confusion.

"Seokjin," I got up and placed my puppy on the ground. "And take him. He's all yours." I cackled before sprinting out of my room, listening to her frustrated and embarrassed protests in glee.

"I will bet my entire career that you and Seulgi will get together by the end of this year." I mumbled to Seokjin as he handed me my outfit. He made a weird noise, probably thinking about the possibility.

"Yeah sure, I can hook it up." He said nonchalantly. I choked on my breath in utter horror and shock, I didn't think he would take me so seriously.

"Why are you making me wear something so pretty today?" I asked him as I got changed behind a curtain.

"What do you mean by 'pretty'? You look pretty every day." He said matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help but blush a little at his words.

"I'm not used to this. I can't rock dresses, full stop. I only look decent in a shirt and shorts." I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before walking out to sit down in the makeup chair. "Where am I going later, anyway?"

"You're an Academy Award winner, a Grammy winner, and you still don't know where you're going after this. Unbelievable." He called the makeup girl over and crossed his arms. I furrowed my brows, wondering how he linked the three things together.

"You're going on national television, stupid. You're going to be interviewed by Park Jimin!" He exclaimed and threw his hands into the air, almost hitting the makeup girl in the face.

"Who?"

He gave a little gasp at my obliviousness. "Do you not watch the evening news? He's the presenter after that. He does all the celebrity news, he interviews them on radio as well. He's like Korea's very own Ryan Seacrest! Only more beautiful and younger, and did I mention beautiful?"

"Uh, so, does this give me a reason to re-dye my hair?" I murmured as the makeup girl put some bright red lipstick on me, not really caring about whoever Park Jimin was.

"You've already done your makeup, silly. You wouldn't want to ruin her masterpiece, would you?" He said, posing more of a statement than a question. "Thank you Irene." He tapped her on her back as she scuttled away in fear.

"I don't think her name is Irene," I squinted my eyes at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whatever, you're almost ready. Time for hair, time for me to do my magic." He whipped a comb out of the pocket of his pants. "We have no time for re-dying of hair. And I think that this pink hair suits you. Also, don't worry about the interview with Park Jimin later. It will be a walk in the ‘Park’!" I groaned at his very lame joke and he chuckled softly.

I tugged at the hem of my dress, trying to pull it lower.

"Seulgi, why do you look so nervous? I'm the one going out there." I asked her as she bit her neatly manicured nails.

"Look, I'm just worried for you, don't mess this up for m- for yourself, okay? Also, I'm going to be in the same room as Pa-"

Heads were turned as a man walked into the room. He looked confident and cool. He was very handsome, with a charm that seemed to go around the room. His cotton candy coloured hair looked like it took hours to style, his makeup flawless. He wore a suit that looked a little too tight, but it accentuated his muscular arms, so I wasn't complaining.

"Park Jimin-"

Stop being so shallow, maybe he's a dick.

And suddenly, I was being pushed into the set. And right into Park Jimin's arms.

"Cut!"

I heard someone yell, and I swear I heard the entire studio sigh in unison. I didn't realise that I was in the Park Jimin's arms until he pulled me up, and I dusted off my dress.

"Sorry." I bowed to him and ran off to the standby area.

"Could we do that walk in part again? Come in less violently, thanks." The mysterious voice ordered me, and I nodded at the instructions.

After coming out less violently, the rest of the interview went fairly well. I didn’t mention any embarrassing things that could expose me, but I did comment on our similar hair colours, which was enough awkward for one day.

“Hey, we have the same hair!” I blurted out just before he could ask me a question. He tilted his head and was silent for a moment, but quickly caught on and smiled at me. I stretched my hand out for a high-five, hoping that he wouldn’t leave me hanging, and he didn’t. He flashed me the brightest smile I’ve seen in a while and gave me a high-five.

“He has the most gorgeous smile. His eyes smile along with him, did you know? He literally radiated happiness, Seulgi! I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed to my sister as we were leaving the venue, but quickly stopped myself from getting too hysterical over someone I just met.

“He really is a charmer. I got the chills just standing next to him.” Seulgi smiled to herself, quite pleased that she was able to stand next to him, and then I realised all the hype over him. I was going to start watching the celebrity news show from now on. I was going to b-

“Wait!”

I felt someone tap on my back and I turned around.

To be face to face with Park Jimin.

My bodyguard was going to push him away when I stopped him. Jimin looked out-of-breath.

“S-sorry for disturbing y-you. But, w-would you like to g-go out for lunch tomorrow? For w-work purposes, of course.” He asked as he caught his breath. I looked at his panting form, and my heart doubled in size.

Stop thinking of those things.

“YES!” I yelled, startling both him and Seulgi, making them jump a little.

“But miss, tomorrow you have t-”

“Cancel it!” I beamed at the glowing boy in front of me while trying to wave away my sister.

“Uh, we can go another time if you’re bu-” He blushed a little, scratching the back of his head. My eyes widened and I immediately waved my hands frantically.

“No, no! It’s okay, tomorrow is fine. I’m sure it isn’t important.” I smiled at him again, and he reciprocated the happiness.

“Okay! Could I get your number?” He handed me his phone and I willingly took it from him, not minding that it had a bright pink phone case. I punched my numbers in and handed it back to him eagerly.

“Thanks! I’ll text you later. See you tomorrow!” He bowed to me and walked back into the studio. By then, I felt like I was going to explode.

“You know, you’re supposed to meet your father tomorrow. Are you sure you want to cancel?” Seulgi asked me cautiously. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of him.

Did l really have to choose between my father and Park Jimin?

“Cancel the lunch appointment.” I sighed after a long time of just standing there. My sister made a sound of disapproval, but I ignored her and walked back to the car.

Park Jimin.

I went to Google him when I got home.

Actor, Presenter, Singer, Dancer

He seems really cool.

His fans love him because of his bubbly personality and kind words.

Seems legit.

Was in a band called BTS and was internationally known. However, the band disbanded due to unknown reasons. Whether the members are still close is still unknown.

He was in a band? That’s so hot.

Are you sure you want to read Park Jimin fanfic?

I’ve never been more sure in my life.

But, before I could click “yes”, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My gasped and snatched the phone out a little too excitedly to be greeted with Jimin’s text message.

Jimin: hello! This is y/n right? It’s Park Jimin. Are you able to meet at the dog cafe in Gangnam tomorrow at 1? xx

I am literally going to cry.

“Yes!” I screamed at my phone and threw it onto my bed. I pumped my fists into the air in joy and threw myself onto my bed as well. “He texted me!”

The next hour was just me doing some intensive research on Jimin for ‘work purposes’, or at least that’s what I told my sister, until I realised that he didn’t text me back. I picked my phone off the bed and read the message again. And then, it dawned on me.

I was the one who didn’t text him back.

I cried out in horror and quickly typed out a short message to reply him and not seem rude.

Me: hello Jimin! Yep tmr at 1 is gud HAHAHAHA c u !!!!

Too informal?

Me: hello Jimin. Tomorrow at 1pm at the dog cafe will be splendid. Thank you for your time.

Too formal?

Me: hello Jimin! Yeah tomorrow at 1 will be good! Thanks and see you there!

I guess that will do.

And I pressed send, waiting for him to reply like I expected him to send me a message at the exact same moment I sent him one.

[read at 6:45pm]

Oh, okay then. I’ll see him tomorrow anyway.

And I spent the rest of my evening thinking about him.

“So, is my dear y/n going on a date now?” Seokjin teased me as I looked for a dress.

“I think you’re a little too nosy today. Why are you peeking into my personal life? And I’m hanging out with a friend.” I shook my head. “Do you have an outfit for me to wear today? His- I mean their favourite colour is blue, so I want to wear blue.”

“So, you just diss me, and expect me to help you to impress some trick shot guy that might break your heart?” He crossed his arms.

“Ugh, okay then. There isn’t any, so I’m just gonna take this weird purple dress.” I sighed, in hopes of winning him over using reverse psychology.

“There are jeans in the bottom right drawer. And there are nice shirts somewhere in the top shelf I think.” Seokjin whispered to me, as if he didn’t want to get caught trying to help me. I giggled at him and went to search for the clothes. I picked out a simple white shirt and ripped jeans.

“Thank you, and sorry for the trouble.” I did a half-bow to him, actually relieved that he was here to help me. A small smile danced on his lips and I took it as a “you’re welcome” and walked out to get changed.

“Jimin! Hello!” I exclaimed as I got out of the car and saw him standing outside the cafe. He looked stunning as hell, with a long sleeved white sweater and black jeans that hugged his legs that were much prettier than my own, completed with a green beanie on his head.

“Oh, hello y/n. Are you ready to go in?” He flashed me his signature smile, and I was at a loss for words yet again. All I could muster was a slight nod, and he took my hand and led me into the cafe.

Park. Jimin. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

As we entered the place, we were greeted by at least a million puppies, nipping and yapping at our feet. Or at least I was. The dogs didn’t go near Jimin, strangely enough. I squealed at the cute puppies and picked some up to cuddle. Jimin tried picking one up, but it kind of growled at him, so he playfully growled back at it, making me giggle.

Many people in the cafe stared at Jimin and I, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because of Jimin’s good looks, his fame, my actor status or the fact that we were together. BUt it didn’t really bother me, I was just happy that I was with him at that moment.

With a puppy snoring on my lap and Jimin holding my hand in his, it was bliss.

“This one’s name is Bubbles, Jimin. He’s super cute, look at his face!” I whispered to him, afraid to wake the sleeping pup. He nodded fondly and peered at the dog’s face.

“He actually looks like my friend’s dog. I like him.” He nodded in approval and I smiled at him.

“I wonder why the puppies aren’t coming to you. Maybe I should trust them.” I jokingly said with a small wink. He chuckled at my teasing words and picked a dog up.

“What secret do you know about me? Huh?” He lowered his voice, trying to seem manly. But, the dog squirmed in his hands, so he put it down and it scuttled away.

“So, you’re an actress right? I’ve seen you in some dramas. You’re really good.” He murmured to me, and I swear I’ve never blushed so hard.

“Uh, i’m not very good. I just get casted in things for publicity, I guess.” I looked away from him in shame, not really wanting to talk about my career. “But how about you, Mr. actor-slash-singer-slash-presenter-slash-dancer? You’re multi-talented. That’s really cool.”

“I’m not that talented, come on. You’re-” he laughed at me, but was interrupted by a girl tapping on his shoulder. The girl looked about 15, with plaited hair and braces, and she held a notebook with Jimin’s face on it.

“Oppa-ya, could you sign this for me please?” She tilted her head to the side, making me want to laugh at her cute attempt of winning him over. He stared at the girl for a little while, and then magically whipped a pen out of thin air and signed her book. The girl was obviously really happy, as she squealed with joy when he handed the book back to her, and she went away skipping.

“I think that we should leave here and we can go to my house to chill out. It’s about a five minute walk from here. What do you say?” He suggested, and I willingly nodded, reluctantly carrying the sleeping puppy on my lap to his bed, and we left.

“Today’s weather is really nice, don’t you think?” I said it mostly to myself, but he hummed in response. I felt his hand brush against mine, and I laced my fingers in his. My cheeks were burning, but I could blame that on the weather.

And there we were, walking down Gangnam Street, ignoring all the surprised netizens and flashing of cameras. His expression looked a little strained, and I felt like mine was too, but when I looked at him all my worries melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day. He looked so beautiful in the bright sunlight, contrary to the sharp wind that tangled my hair and made me look like I was going very red.

We walked all the way until we reached a very tall, very modern building, and into a lift that took us to the penthouse. Once I stepped into his apartment, my mouth hung open. I couldn’t think straight looking at all that expensive looking furniture, and the five other beautiful men sitting on a couch that looked like it was bought with all the money I had earned.

“Ah, there they are! I’d like to meet my friends.” He squeezed my hand, and I had never been more glad that his seater covered his hands, because my hands were sweating.

It’s only been one date, and he’s introducing his friends to me now? This is going a little too fast, but I shouldn’t say anything.

“Guys, this is y/n. Remember her from that drama Temptation? Yeah, she was playing the young Park Jiwoo.” He asked the five men, and all of them sat up and nodded their heads.

“Y/n, the one in blue is Namjoon-hyung, the one in black is Yoongi-hyung, the one in green is Hoseok-hyung, the one in white is Jungkook and the other one in black is Taehyung.” He introduced, and I gave a polite bow to all of them. They all nodded to me, besides Taehyung and Jungkook who gave me an enthusiastic “hello!” each.

“I’m so sorry, I actually have to leave for a little bit, I have to settle some stuff with the producer of my evening show. I’ll only be gone for two hours at most. Would you like to stay here, or do you want me to take you home right now?” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Um, I think I can stay here and wait for you,” I beamed at him, and he looked up at me and beamed back.

“Great! Guys, please treat her well and don’t scare her away.” He turned on his heels and came dangerously close to my face. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He whispered to me, and his lips brushed my cheek. I felt a tingle run down my spine and I nodded furiously. And he smirked and left.

I stood awkwardly at the entrance of the apartment, facing the five guys. They gave me a small nod, and gestured for me to sit with them. I gulped and moved my wooden legs to sit on the comfiest couch i’ve ever sat on.

“So, y/n, how old are you? Are you a 95 liner like Jiminie?” The one in blue asked me. Namjoon, was it?

“Uh, I-i’m a 95 liner, yeah.” I stuttered, trying to hide my increasing nerves.

“Don’t be nervous, we don’t bite,” Hoseok chuckled, and I felt the need to smile along.

“So, are you and hyung going to get married? I like you, you seem really nice!” Jungkook blurted out, earning him a light smack on his arm by one of his hyungs.

“Um,” I coughed, expressing my nervousness. “We’ve only been on one date, so I don’t so as of now.”

“I think you guys are making her nervous, you guys should go now.” Yoongi told the rest in a monotonous voice. They all grumbled, but did as he said, and I said my silent thanks to Yoongi for helping me. He stayed on the couch, though, but I didn’t really mind.

“I’m Yoongi, if you forgot.” I nodded at him, confident that his name was the easiest to remember. “You don’t need to call me Oppa, if that was what you were thinking.” He clarified, and even though I wasn’t thinking about that, I nodded along.

After that awkward first words, we started talking. About our likes, dislikes, favourite things and least favourite things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and surprisingly relatable as well. We had many things in common, and we mostly talked about music. He liked rap and hip hop, so did I. I even let him listen to some of my songs that I had recorded for fun, and he gave me a stamp of approval.

“Wow, should I be honoured that THE Min Yoongi gave me a thumbs up on my joke song?” I giggled, and he flashed me a gummy smile that I never thought that I would ever see.

“Yes, yes you should.”

But, before I could show Yoongi my other joke song, Jimin came in from the lift and sat beside me.

“You seem really comfortable here, that’s a good sign. Would you like to stay for dinner? I think Jungkook is cooking glazed sweet potatoes, and it’s really an interesting experience to eat that.” He asked me, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I immediately nodded without thinking.

“Great, I’ll be in the kitchen for a bit. I’ll be back.” His hand lingered on my arm a little too long, and I felt my blush creeping up to my cheeks again. Yoongi had also gotten up to go to the bathroom, so I was alone in the living room.

I took my phone out to check the time, when I saw the twenty-one missed calls and fifteen messages Seulgi had sent me. I sighed and rubbed my temples, worrying that Seulgi was going to overworry. I called her back and held my breath, preparing myself for a big scolding from her. She was working for me, but I was still her younger sister.

“Unnie?” I whispered into the phone, and I heard her cry out in frustration.

“First, you don’t answer my calls, and now you’re suddenly calling me unnie? I was so worried for you! You just ignored my calls, and I had to do everything myself! Where are you right now? I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“Seulgi, please. I’m fine. I’m at Jimin’s house, it’s fine! But, can I stay for dinner? Please, they asked and I already said yes.” I pleaded into the phone, not caring that Jimin had entered the room and sat on the space next to me.

“You have so much to do tonight, what are you doing being at his house for so long? You have to send emails to-”

“Yay, thanks Seulgi! I love you very much! I’ll be home before ten and I’ll have plenty of time to finish up my work thank you! See you, I love you!” I dragged out my last word before hanging up on her and exhaling very loudly. Jimin pet my head, and I instinctively leaned towards him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Ewww~ You guys have only been on one date, and you’re already so lovey-dovey.” Jungkook came into the room wearing an apron that said “kiss the kook” and a very disgusted expression. I was going to comment on the younger’s cute words, but Jimin beat me to it.

“Date? What date?”

I felt my heart break into two.

He said it with such confusion, that I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.

Jungkook’s eyes widened, making him look more like a child. He blinked at us awkwardly for a moment, but quickly came to his senses. “Dinner is ready, y’all can come now.”

Jimin got up and pulled me to my feet, and we made our way to the dining room together, but I suddenly lost all appetite.

He didn’t see today as a date? Then what did he think it was?

But, I pushed all my negative thoughts aside to be replaced by the glorious food in front of me. Not only could he ‘kook’, he could also cook.

We spent dinner talking about everything we could think of, and trying to pry the sweet potatoes off the plate. It was Jungkook’s special dish when everyone was sad or during a happy occasion, they told me, and I smiled at them.

After that day, Jimin and I became closer and closer. I ignored his words that hurt me before, and I tried to move on.

Maybe he just was trying to protect his dignity.

He texted a lot, and we called and video called a lot as well. We talked about everything, from good things to bad things, but we were never at a lost for words. We never got bored while talking, nor did we run out of things to say. Conversation flowed really well, and sometimes I felt myself wondering why I had ever doubted him for being a dick.

I talked a lot to Yoongi, as well. He was someone I could talk to comfortably without it getting too awkward. Our similar taste in music usually took the wheel in our conversations, we recommended music to each other and that strengthened our friendship.

Jimin and I went on a few more ‘dates’, or whatever he thought they were. We went out to eat, I went to his house to watch a romantic movie, we went shopping together, and many more things that I really cherished.

There were too many news articles about us to ignore, but Jimin didn’t seem to be bothered.

“It’s going to die out soon if we don’t address it, it’ll be okay.” He flashed that award-winning eye smile again, winning me over in a snap of a finger.

The news articles didn’t bother me, though. It was the number of news articles surrounded around our “pending relationship”. All of them said the same thing, all talking about how people saw us around together, holding hands and asking if the fans thought we would be a good couple or not. Most of the comments said we would be the cutest celebrity couple, and I didn’t deny them.

We were busy, I had a new drama that I was working on and he had his presenting career, but we made it work. We carved out time in between shoots to see each other, and even if we couldn’t see each other in person, we would call or text.

And every day, I fell more and more in love with him.

I couldn’t help it, it just happened. It hit me one day out of the blue. I didn’t just like him, I loved him. He brought so much happiness into my life, and introduced me to so many people that I wouldn’t ever trade for the world. I felt like if I ever let him go, all these things would suddenly disappear from my life, leaving me stranded in my own pit of loneliness and self-pity.

I also clung onto the hope that he would love me back.

Even when everything came crashing down.

So, I was close to two people in his friend group, Taehyung and Yoongi, and I really trusted the both of them. So, I told them my secret.

“I think i’m in love with Jimin.”

Taehyung spat his drink out onto the coffee table in front of him.

“Huh? What do you mean? You love Jimin? Are you sure this isn’t infatuation?” He spluttered out, probably very shocked at my sudden confession. Yoongi held his cam and cool exterior, so i didn’t really know what he was thinking at the moment.

“I don’t think it’s infatuation. Every time I go near him, or think of him, or talk to him, my heart begins to flutter. It’s not under my control, if I could I would definitely not want to feel like this, but I do. When we talk, I get excited over small things. I can feel it in my bones, Tae. have you ever felt this way about a woman?”

“Not about a woman,” he blushed and turned to face the back.

“Y/n-ah. Congrats on finding love and everything, but here’s the thing: do you want a relationship with him? Otherwise, all this is irrelevant.” He bluntly stated, making Taehyung shift in his seat and making me feel a little uneasy.

He had put it harshly, but he was right. So what if I found love but didn’t want a relationship? Did I really want to spend a long time, possibly the rest of my life, with this man?

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Okay, then good for you.” Yoongi curtly nodded and went back to scrolling through his phone. Taehyung seemed a little off, but quickly whipped out his phone and started scrolling too.

Was it so wrong that I loved him?

Me: Jimin-ah!I have about 2 hrs before our next shoot tgt! Would you like to come over or I can go over as well :^)

Jimin ❤️: busy.

Me: We can go to the venue together :^)

Jimin ❤️: can’t. sorry.

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

He hadn’t been like this before, why was he acting so cold towards me all of a sudden? Oh, cmon y/n, it’s just a text message, maybe he’s in a meeting. You’ll see him during filming.

And I did see him during filming, but he didn’t see me.

“Jimin!” I called out to him and waved. He looked back, but looked away just as fast. His pace quickened as he disappeared into his changing room. I was left there, hurt and very confused.

Our characters did not have much interaction except for one scene. And we were going to film that one scene that day. It was a comedy drama about two colleagues fighting for the head position but end up falling in love later in the story. He was playing the boy’s overprotective friend, who causes a lot of problems later in the story, but is checking the girl out to see if she is “worthy enough” to date his friend.

“Ya, are you the idiot who is dating my best friend?” He coughed into his fist, already fully into the character.

“Are you using informal language with me? We don’t even know each other.” I snapped back, wavering a little under his strong gaze.

“Ya, listen up, I’ve heard that I’m older than you. So back off.” He squinted at me.

“Look, I don’t even know you. I’m just here t-”

“You know, you’re really pretty. Easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Jimin winked at me, and I desperately searched for any signs of genuinity in what he just said. After his character had said that line, my character was supposed to throw her cup at him, but I was too busy ‘looking for love’ that I totally forgot what to do and screwed the scene up.

When the director yelled cut and we returned to our original positions, I thought I saw him roll his eyes, but I chose to ignore it.

We did the scene one more time, and we wrapped it up perfectly.

“Hey, Jimin, you were really good!” I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. The corners of his lips turned up a little, and I took this as a good sign.

“You too.” He nodded at me and walked away.

Well, it could have been worse. He could have totally ignored me, but he didn’t. Does this mean that he likes me, just a little?

I spent the rest of my day smiling and thinking of him.

But as we got further and further into the filming, he ignored me more and more, and interacted with me only when it was necessary. We stopped texting regularly, and he stopped asking me out to hang. We kind of just stopped everything we had.

But, I still prayed and hoped that he had some feelings for me, because I sure did have feelings for him.

I started hanging out with Yoongi more than him, and we would just sit and talk about anything and everything under the sun. But, I needed to ask him about Jimin.

“Yoongi-ah, do you think Jimin thinks that I like him? Is that why he’s acting so strange?”

“Oh, he knows that you like him.”

What?

“What? Who told him?” I yelled, running over to his side. “Oh my god, I can’t fucking breathe. I’m going to faint.” I started hyperventilating and everything looked a little blurry.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t faint on me,” he said with a serious tone, but I could tell that he was a little worried. “I heard Jungkook talking about it to Hoseok, that Jimin knows that you like him. I didn’t tell him, if you’re wondering. And I don’t think Taehyung did either. Besides, I don’t think he’s acting strange on purpose. I’ve known Jimin for eight years now, he’s a genuine dude. He wouldn’t hurt someone intentionally. He’s just a little oblivious.”

“Do you think that he will forget about this?” I looked up at Yoongi with tears ready to spill out at any negative response Yoongi was forming in his head.

“I honestly think that he will. It might take a while, but he’ll eventually forget it and everything will go back to normal. Jimin doesn’t hold grudges easily, and I think that he’ll understand later on. But we will save that story for a time when we’re all old. You can still have feelings for him, nobody’s going to stop you. And you know, maybe he’ll like you back, but I can’t decide that for him. You just have to be patient and see what happens.” He reassured me, holding my chin up to face him as my warm tears glided down my cheeks in silence. “But for now, let’s go get some ice cream to calm you down a little. And let’s bring Seulgi along, I think she feels a little left out sometimes.” He stood up, and pulled me to my feet. He draped an arm around my shoulder and I buried my face into his shoulder.

“Thanks Yoongi.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

With Yoongi’s blessing, I continued to harbour feelings for Jimin. Seeing as I saw him almost every other day, I thought about him a lot. As I saw him acting, I thought about how he was so talented. His character was basically the comic relief, he made me laugh until my sides hurt. He never failed to make my day, and I hoped that my scenes made his day as well.

I would try to initiate conversation and we would occasionally have a short conversation about anything we wanted to talk about. I was really happy when he replied to my messages, I sometimes would screenshot our messages and show them to Seulgi so she could fangirl over the fact that I was friends with her celebrity crush.

“Y/n, can I be super honest?” She asked me once while looking at our messages. I was sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, sure.”

“He seems like he’s replying with very little effort. You see, you typed such a long message here, and all he replied you with was a ‘cool’. I think you’re putting in too much effort into this, little sis. You might want to back down a little, give the dude some space for a bit and try again.” She sighed, and I felt a little bit of anger boiling up inside of me, not sure whether it was because of her blunt words, or the fact that I had suspected it as well.

“Seulgi, I don’t think you should butt into things like this anymore.” I murmured, taking my phone from her and slinking back to my room, locking the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed and had a long, silent cry.  

I could sense that he wasn’t really putting in much effort, but he replied me. He could have ignored me.

As the months passed by, my love for him grew stronger, he pushed me away more and more, until we stopped talking altogether. I didn’t really like the distance between us, even if we saw each other regularly, and I kind of slipped into a slump. I was constantly lethargic, I had massive headaches and I felt a little numb to all emotions. Sometimes, I would lie on my bed, body ridden with insomnia, thinking about him, about us. What we were. But sometimes, I cried myself to sleep, as dramatic as that sounds.

My heart ached for him, I felt empty without him, and when I was with him, I felt heartbroken. I didn’t know how or what to feel. There were a few thoughts of self-harm running through my mind, and I did attempt to do it, but when I picked up the blunt butter knife, I couldn’t hurt myself. There was something in me screaming that it was a bad idea, and I would just end up sitting on the ground, unharmed on the outside but broken on the inside. I mentioned these things to Yoongi, and he was very supportive even though he didn’t quite understand.

“Yoongi, I feel really bad right now. Is this normal?”

“Y/n-ah. You shouldn’t feel bad. Like I told you, I’m very sure that Jimin doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. I won’t tell him so you won’t be ashamed, but I don’t think that this is something you want to keep up with. It’s very problematic and it’s taking a very obvious toll on you. You look so thin, and your eyes are dull. Take a little break of filming is what I think you should do.” He continued to talk but I couldn’t really hear him anymore.

I looked down at myself, my wrists, my thighs, my stomach. All of them seemed thinner than normal. But that was just because I had no appetite, I wasn’t bulimic or anorexic, I simply just didn’t feel like eating. But why?

There were so many articles talking about how thin I was. My fans were very supportive, telling me to be strong and be healthier, but they didn’t know what this felt like. Only I did.

And that’s when I decided that I was going to get over him.

I knew that it was going to be difficult and extremely painful for me, but this ‘relationship’ I had in my head was obviously not going to happen in real life. I didn’t blame Jimin at all, it was not his fault, neither was it mine. But sometimes, things just happen, or they don’t.

“I’m going to get over him, I’ve been stuck in this crush for too long already. It’s almost been a year and a half, I think I’m ready to stop.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I told Yoongi, and I had no intention of holding them back.

“I’m here for you.”

So, from then on, I promised myself that I would get over him. Every time I thought of him, I would mentally slap myself and think of something else, which sort of worked, but my mind would naturally gravitate back to him like a paperclip to some sort of magnet, and I had to repeat the process, leaving me mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I was a pretty vocal person, so I decided to talk to Yoongi about it. He was a good listener, quiet and sturdy, and he sat quietly next to me, hearing all my feelings through text or in person. Sometimes he gave me advice, which was mostly to naturally get over him, but most of the time he just sat there listening intently.

I tried talking to my other friends as well, leaving his name as a blank, but they all gave me the same response: if you want to get over him, just stop talking about him, that way you won’t think about him as much. But I already thought about him on a daily basis, so what was the difference if I shut up?

I couldn’t breathe.

All the air in my body felt like it was being sucked out. I felt like dying.

I just got home from a photoshoot that went terribly wrong because the camera director thought that I was not the right model and started throwing a fit. It turned out okay in the end, at least he didn’t hurt me, but it still hurt my feelings.

As my car was pulling up into my driveway, I felt nauseous. I bolted out of the car and ran straight for the toilet, where I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. NOt that there was much to empty, though.

I just sat on the ground, and reality hit me. Getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I had done many crazy things to prepare for a role, like egg someone’s house to study their reaction, cut my hair unevenly to see what the media would say about me, and hug random strangers on the street to see what they would do.

None of them was as hard as staying conscious while having a panic attack.

And there I was, on the floor of my bathroom, having a panic attack. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and I couldn’t think straight. All my thoughts flew out the window, but the thought of Jimin stayed with me, comforting and hurting me at the same time.

I started hysterically crying, and Seulgi started banging on the door. Everything was blurry and disoriented, like I was looking through a fisheye lens. I slammed my head on the wall a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself as I hyperventilated, but it didn’t work.

I was a mess, sobbing on the damp floor, eyes bulged out, gasping for air and comfort.

What do I do? What did I do? I can’t breathe.

I tried counting the number of light bulbs in the room to take my mind off this attack, but everything became blurrier, and I had to focus on staying conscious.

My trembling hands reached out for my phone in my pocket, I had no energy to grab so I just dragged it out and held it. It looked like it was vibrating, but it was just me. 

I dialed the first number that came to mind and held it next to my ear.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Yoongi, panic, attack, please, help.” I wheezed into the phone.

“Square breathe. Four in, four hold, four out, four hold. I’ll be there, just wait for me.”

He arrived at my house with a stuffed bear and a concerned expression. I stared at him from the mountain of blankets I had buried myself under.

Seulgi had managed to open the door to the bathroom and saw me crying on the floor. She immediately managed to get me up as I was too tired to resist and brought me to my room. She was in the kitchen making me a warm drink, and I thanked the gods for my wonderful and caring sister.

“What happened?” Yoongi said as he set the bear down.

“Yoongi, I don’t know what to do.” I hiccuped and closed my eyes to soothe the headache I felt coming on. “I really want to get over him, but I feel...I feel like...I don’t know how to explain it. But, I really love him. And when I try to forget him, it hurts. And when I think of him, it hurts. Yoongi, I am hurting. My heart is hurting. I can’t do this. I’ve never been in this much pain in my life.” I started crying all over again, but this time it wasn’t hysterical. It was the silent type, where tears just fell from your eyes, making you hurt even more. My nails dug into my skin, making little crescent indents into my arm.

I was going through so much, with the fame and now this. I couldn’t take it. It was too difficult.

“Yoongi, i’m in so much pain. I want to hurt myself, but I can’t. I can’t do that to myself. I can’t continue with life like this, Yoongi, I can’t.”

I looked up and saw tears rolling down his pale cheeks, but he didn’t make an effort to wipe them away.

“It’s going to be okay.”

1 year later

“Jimin-ah! Is that you?” I yelled out, and he turned around to face me. A grin spread across his face like wildfire, and he walked towards me with a spring in his step.

“Y/n! How have you been? I haven’t seen you lin like a year!” He stepped forward and embraced me. I felt the urge to wriggle out of his touch, but I took a deep breath and hugged him back. It felt good.

“I’ve been good, a little busy with filming and photoshoots, but otherwise good! We should meet up sometime to hang out.”  I smiled at him warmly, and he returned the smile with a genuine one. But, after a while, his smile faded a little, and there was a glint of worry in his eyes.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He held my hands, and my breath quickened a little.

“Yoongi told me about what happened last year. About, you know, me and you.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I just wanted to apologise. I swear I didn’t intentionally hurt you. I was just a little freaked that a beautiful girl like you would love an idiot like me, so I wanted to distance myself a little. I didn’t know that I would end up hurting you. I was so immature and I really just want to start over with you. Do you forgive me?”

‘Hmm,” I pretended to think, picking at my nails, teasing him a little. “I’d have to think about that. But do you know what will make me make my decision faster? Us hanging out, sometime next week? I’ll call you.” I gave him a playful thumbs up, and he laughed as he shook his head.

“Of course, we’ll arrange a date.”

“It’s settled then.” I did a playful bow to him and started to skip away, but dipped my head backwards to say something before I left.

“Hey Jimin,” I called to him and he raised his head to look at me with confusion. “Remember when I was whipped for your ass?” He tilted his head and I flashed him a cheeky smile.