#kssm

How can I tell her the devastating information I found out?

The hurtful information?

That her friend told me two months ago at her birthday party?

It was supposed to be a happy night

Party, then me and her all night

After her friend spoke to me, I had to pretend to be ok

I didn't want to ruin her birthday

But after that, it hasn't been the same

"Minhyuk answer me", she presses

"Nothing. I'm fine. Everything is fine"

"No it's not. You're different", she says, "You're so distant. Even with your usual Monsta X schedule you used to make a lot of time for me. Now you don't"

She's right but I don't know how to be around her without thinking about what I was told

So I've been avoiding her, at a complete loss of what to do

"You never look at me for long. You never touch me, we stopped having sex. Hardly kiss me"

I just can't

It hurts to be around her

"You don't hold my hand, you don't put your arm around me, you don't hold me, you don't spend the night anymore. Don't tell me nothing is wrong"

I just shake my head

"Is it me? Did I do something? You can tell me and I'll fix it"

She can't fix this

She can't change her feelings

"Is there someone else? You want someone else?"

"No", I answer

God no

I just want her

I've only always wanted her from the moment Changkyun introduced her to us

His best friend

She ruined other girls for me

None compare to her

I fell in love with her and it took me so long to get the courage to ask her out

I was in disbelief when she said yes

And when she continued to see me

We've been together for nine months

I was going to tell her I love her after her birthday

Then this all happened and I don't know what to do

"Are...are you cheating on me?"

Never

Not on anyone but especially not her

"No. I'm not"

"Then what is it? What's wrong? I can't keep guessing just for you to say no"

I stay silent

After a few minutes, I feel her get up

"Fine", she says, making me look up at her

My heart crashes to my feet when I see that she's crying

"If you're not going to tell me what's wrong then I'm leaving. I can't keep doing this. You're keeping me in the dark about a problem with us and I can't keep freaking out over it. I can't keep feeling hurt that you won't talk to me", she sniffles, "So I'm leaving. Don't call me unless your ready to talk to me"

Fear hits me when I process her words

She's leaving and she doesn't want to talk to me

She doesn't want to see me

"Goodbye Minhyuk"

As she starts to turn away from me, I blurt out, "I know"

If I'm going to lose her anyway, I might as well tell her that I know the truth

She turns back to me, "Know what?"

"I know. What this is with you and me"

She looks at me in so much confusion

"What are you talking about"

I take a breath, "I know you're in love with Changkyun"

"Excuse me?", she gapes

"You're friend told me. Areum? At your birthday party"

She looks at me with an exasperated expression, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Areum talked to you? What did she say?"

"She told me about how you feel for Changkyun"

"How I feel?"

I nod

God it hurts so much to say this

To remember

"Areum told me you're in love with Changkyun. And that I'm just a place holder until he notices you"

"What?", she shouts, shock on her face

"Areum....Areum told me that we're never going to last. That you're just with me until you can be with Changkyun. That you don't care about me, you don't have feelings for me. You just agreed to be with me to pass time. Changkyun is the one you really want"

She's silent for a minute

"And this is why you've been the way you've been for the past two months. Why you're ignoring me? Why you're distant and avoiding me?"

I nod, "I just...I think about it all the time and I can't be around you knowing that's how you really feel"

She shakes her head

"You're a fucking idiot!", she yells, surprising me, "Why would you listen to Areum? She's an idiot! She doesn't know anything! Why wouldn't you come and talk to me!"

"I couldn't... I didn't know what to say"

"So you avoid me? Make me worry for two months? Make me think you want someone else or you're cheating on me?"

I didn't know she was thinking about that

Or worrying

It doesn't make sense for her to worry if she doesn't care about me

"I...I..."

"Areum is dumb! I told her about a crush I had on Changkyun when we were teenagers and ever since then she's obsessed with getting us together. Even though I told her it will never happen. He's my best friend. That's it"

I really don't know what to think right now

Areum lied to me?

Or is Joanne lying to me?

I just confronted her and she could be lying to cover herself

"Minhyuk", she calls

I move my gaze to her, new tears falling down her beautiful face

She bites her lip, her eyes so sad

"I love you"

My eyes widen as my brain tries to catch up to her words

"Changkyun is just my friend. That's all he's ever been", she says softly, "And if you don't think I'm completely in love with you then you're a fucking moron"

My brain finally catches up and I realize that she loves me

Oh shit, she loves me

I'm in disbelief

"If you don't feel the same or you don't want to continue this relationship then you need to tell-"

I cut her off when I surge up, pulling her into a kiss

I completely melt into her, feeling her lips against mine again

I haven't felt them for two months

Her arms move around my neck, her body pressing against mine and I'm in heaven

"I'm sorry baby. I was an idiot. I should have talked to you instead of keeping it to myself"

She nods, "Yeah"

"Joanne I love you. I love you so much"

"Yeah?", she smiles softly

I nod, taking her hand

She immediately grips mine hard, holding on tightly

"I'm completely in love with you. That's why thinking that you loved Changkyun....it was killing me"

"I love you Hyukie. Just you", she tells me, "But promise me that you'll talk to me if something bothers you. Don't keep anything from me. I don't keep anything from you"

"I won't baby. Not any more. I promise"

She nods, looking in my eyes, "Please Hyukie, touch me"

I move my free hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek

She lets out a breath, closing her eyes, smiling softly, her hand resting on the back of mine

She turns her head, kissing my palm and unconditional love for her flows in my body

I slide my hand from her cheek to the back of her hair and I lean down, catching her lips in a kiss

Her arm moves back around my neck as I bend down and pick her up, her legs wrapping around me

Turning, I put her in the middle of my bed with her pulling me on top of her

Her tongue moves against mine and I realize how much I missed her kisses

Missed her arms around me

Missed how she feels, her scent, her everything

I missed her

I felt like I was dying without her and now I'm revived

"I love you", I tell her, then kiss her

"I love you", she whispers between kisses

My god, I can never get tired of hearing her say that

Her hands move under my shirt, cool against my hot skin

As her fingers slowly move up my back, my skin shivers under her touch

I didn't know how much I missed her touching me

"I wanna feel you", she murmurs, pressing kisses to my neck

I want that too

So much

Moving off her, I pull up her shirt, getting it off

She sits up on her knees, pulling my shirt off, then I get her bra off

She immediately comes in my arms, her warm smooth soft skin against mine and it's like a shock to my system feeling her again

"Baby", she whispers, pressing kisses along my shoulder, her hands roaming my back, holding me close to her

Her kisses feel so good as she moves them to my chest, making me whimper and close my eyes

I was so stupid to keep myself from this, from her

I should of talked to her right away instead of letting this shit linger

Instead of pulling away from her

I'll never be that stupid again

Lifting her face to mine, I kiss her deeply, gently moving her to her back and going over her

Pressing my lips to her neck, I kiss her, my hands moving to her breasts, squeezing gently, feeling her nipples get harder under my palms, turning me on and making me hard

Her hands move down my back, to my sweatpants, tugging on them

We both move frantically, pulling each other's clothes off until we're both naked

I open her legs and get them around me, pushing inside her right away

"Oh god", she cries, her fingers digging to my back as I ease into her, my body full of pleasure as she opens and stretches around me

"Fuck baby", I groan as she immediately drenches my length and clenches me hard

"Please Hyukie", she pleads, "I need you"

"Yeah baby", I whisper, pulling out, then moving right back in, hearing her pretty moan

I keep thrusting into her, getting a good pace, feeling her tight wet pussy suck me back in each time

Lavishing her neck with kisses, her legs tighten around me, pussy soaking me in more juice, feeling amazing

Trailing kisses down her chest, I get to her boob, wrapping my mouth around her nipple, sucking softly

"Hyuk!", she cries, her pretty body arching into mine

Sucking faster, my fingers play with her other nipple, moving my hips faster and harder, grinding into her so my pelvis rubs against her clit

She throbs around me so fast and hard, so close already

"My baby's gonna cum for me?"

She nods, "Yes"

"Already?"

"I missed you Hyukie. I can't...I can't hold it"

"Shh baby, you don't have to. I'm sorry I kept myself away from you. I promise I won't do it again. I swear"

"Please don't Hyukie. I love you"

Letting go of her nipple, I kiss her cheek, looking lovingly down at her

"I love you Jo", I smile, "Cum for me baby"

"Hyuk", she moans, her body shaking under me as she orgasms, pleasure all over her face, her hands squeezing me tightly

She's fucking beautiful

Her pussy throbs so hard, coating me in cum, feeling out of this world

When she finishes, I move my arm under one of her knees, pushing her leg to her chest, keeping the other wrapped around my waist

I pound into her hard, this angle letting me in so deep and hit her spot

"Oh fuck", she cries, her hands moving to my upper arms, gripping me tightly

"Right there baby?", I smirk

She nods, "Yes baby. There"

I snap my hips faster, burying my cock in over and over, every smash to her spot making her cunt lock on my cock in a fucking death grip

And it feels fucking amazing

Bending down, I suck her other nipple in my mouth, playing and biting hard and fast

"Oh my god, oh my god. Baby oh god", she yells, so much juice squirting from her

"Yes fuck baby. There we go. Squirting so prettily for me.", I praise her, "Soak me baby girl"

The first time she squirted, I was fucking amazed and so turned on

It's fucking hot and I love watching her cunt gush juice

It really is pretty

Fucking her through it, I don't stop for a second wanting her cream all over me

"C'mon baby, now I need your cream", I inform her, moving my hand down and playing with her clit

She sucks in a breath, her mouth slightly open, breathing hard

I move my hand in time with my thrusts, making sure she's getting as much pleasure as I can give her

She's getting so tight, the pleasure from her spasms taking over

"Please cum", I whimper, and just as I finish speaking she does, screaming my name, her body arching into mine

"Minhyuk!"

I fuck her through it, wrapping my arm around her to keep her against me, the pleasure blinding

"I'm...I'm..", I stammer, ready to lose it

"Cum baby", she whimpers and I let go

Shoving myself inside her, I bury my face in her neck, yelling her name, shooting my cum deep inside her pussy, ecstasy filling every inch of me

She holds me tightly, one hand running in my hair, whispering "I love you", over and over

"I love you", I cry, the last of the bliss fading

"I love you", she whispers as I lift my head up

I crash my lips to hers, saying "I love you" between kisses

We cling to each other as we kiss, the love between us tangible