#kbsm

KSBM CONFESSIONS 

i want Leah and Jessica 2 rap battle

Leah would prefer country hoe-downs.

Georgina 

I'm not very fond of the sexual harrassment bits but hey, this was very well written and Leah actually has a personality And this is less problematic because Leah is a college student, unlike Jessica who is only 16, literally a child, and yet the original story had these 20 somethings fawning over her which was weird to read, but then again the author of the original was 12. 

No one likes the sexual harassment bits, hence the reason for this fic’s existence. 

I think everything in this can be weird to read. Like, why are all of these straight men fawning over a lesbian? I know homosexuals have power but, like, wow?

Anon 

Hey what's your tumblr url? Sorry I've been out of the fandom for a long time and I want to be back so I want to know, thanks!

If you’re here, you found it.

Alicia Keys 

Guys, please. She just updated this recently, don't pressure authors into updating. I used to do that myself until I realized that writers have their own lives and have to deal with a lot of stuff outside of writing, they update their stuff when they find the time or if not, feel ready. Just be patient, writing is a very tasky process

Thank you, superstar Alicia Keys.

Zinnia 

(12 year old weeaboo fangirl voice) eeeeeeee pls pls I vote Japan / pls he is so kawaii n sexy _ desu Okay but in all seriousness though, I know you are finishing the plot and I'm getting interested, but for the next date I think Japan would be great, besides I have a feeling he'll be the least creepy/the nicest of all of them

Because of this comment, I will make him the creepiest guy of all.

Janice 

You should parody A Bowl Of Pasta, Pizza and Tomatoes one day too. When you find the time or if you want to, that is. Your choice /shrugs

*shrugs* 

I probably won’t, but I’ll keep it in mind. 

PastaMochi 

I vote for Romano...or Michael Cera

Micheal Cera officially has more votes than Canada and Spain.

Lulu 

Is it weird I'm starting to ship China/Leah?

You’ll see. 

OysterSeas 

I like this fanfic! It's exactly like that smitten Kidnapped By Sexy Men fanfic from deviantART but with a quest/mystery twist and it's actually well written. And the OC here is far more interesting than the OC from the original.

idk Leah is pretty obvious while Jessica

Oh, she is an enigma waiting to be solved. 

Chiggies 

A shrill whistle pierced through the air. "What the sweet linguine do you think you're doing, you wide eyed dunce!" On the bridge before them were two men, one that Leah easily recognized as that weird albino with the smoking problem. The other looked a lot like Italy, save for the fact that his skin was a few shades darker and his thick brows were furrowed characteristic anger. He blew his whistle again as he continued to shout, "Why the flying shit storm do you have the Potato Bastard with you? Are you trying to cock block yourself?" Italy's shoulders fell. "Romano—" "Don't Romano me, you two-eyed trash can!" OKAY! Called it! I'm voting Romano for the next date because that was fucking priceless

Well I charge $5.00 a chapter. 

Julia 

Now I'm intrigued. Where exactly is this house? I always had a theory that this house (or the one in the original KBSM or That one victorian country styled house the countries live in in Season 1-2 with the world meeting room) is in the middle of nowhere, and the countries have these portals to their..countries? Or maybe the location just randomly changes out of context, like some of the mind-fucking dreams I have sometimes..

I think the better question is why the hell do you have a fan theory for the original KBSM?????

?????

Haha 

I can't wait till ButterflyXMoonlight sees this ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)

If she sees this, she’ll demand I take it down so let’s not. 

Unknown 

I don't know, I'm pretty pissed at the original story's chapter 18... So...for the next date, I vote Japan :) I'm sure you can do it better

I really can’t.

Chapter 18 was a fucking masterpiece.

Anon 

I know this is meant to be a serious mystery take on Kidnapped By Sexy Men and honestly I can't wait what happens next but... Imagine if you somehow incorporated the "sparkle parties" in this fic

How dare you presume that I would write a KBSM parody without including the sparkle parties. 

Lilly 

Wha- Why would Liechtenstein say that? On further note, I wonder if someone showed this to Clarine Harp, haha I'm sure she'd love it! :)

Liechtenstein said it because she’s a slut.

Edna 

Cool! I like how China is getting one of the major roles in this one. In the original KBSM China was pushed aside as that one guy with a "cuteness fetish" who cleans the house, follows orders, screams "kawaii" and gets shit from others (America especially) He got a lot of shit in that fanfic, I'm glad he's Leah's ally in this one

Oh yes. China’s an ally... for now

When Leah was fourteen, she dated a sixteen year old boy by the name of Jack Turner. He was tall, lanky, and had a general lack of personal hygiene. Her parents had disproved of the junior’s interest in her—especially one with a like criminal record—which made him all the more attractive. He was not good looking or even kind, but any chance Leah had of sticking it to her parents was a good one.

She knew that she would only go on one date with Jack Turner, but one date was all she needed. She could drive her overprotective parents insane all while discovering what that infamous sex was all about. Too many of her friends had warned her of a girl he had gotten pregnant the year before, but that was another concern she easily brushed away. Condoms existed for a reason, and her freshman self was positive that she could force a guy who had been arrested for car theft to use protection.

The date started out well enough, with Leah sneaking out of her house to climb into his red Toyota. They ordered takeout food and drove out to the desert hills on the edge of the city. Far away from any watching eyes, they ate in the backseat of his car and while Leah talked and Jack pretended to listen. He pulled out a joint and they went back and forth smoking the green wedge and pursuing their high.

When their heads were airy and their bloodshot eyes heavy, Jack made the first move. He pulled up her blouse and unclasped her bra before dragging his slippery mouth down the naked length of her chest. His sweat dripping hands switched between massaging her breasts and tugging on the waist of her jeans. Leah closed her eyes and tried to feel something for the eroticism, but no ounce of pleasure swelled in her loins. In fact, something uneasy churned in the pits of her stomach, screaming for her to get his sweaty hands away from the waist of her jeans.

So she screamed, losing the euphoria of her high as she pushed him away.

She demanded to be taken home. He insisted she was being a prude. She threatened to call her father, claiming that he would roll up the hill in his police car. So Jack Turner climbed to the driver’s seat and turned on the engine. Leah watching the brown grass and sparse shrubs past by them as she pulled back on her clothes. The familiar barrenness of the landscape made her wonder if there was something wrong with her. She should have felt something for the sultry kisses and kneading hands. But she felt nothing, albeit a little gross.

A year later, she would realize that it was not only because Jack Turner was the human personification of shit, but also because she was homosexual. Even so, the silent forty minute drive back to her house had been the most tensed car ride she had even been in.

That is, until she found herself sitting shot gun to a maniac blond who had, an hour earlier, threatened her with a knife. Really, nearly having sex with a criminal drug addict paled in comparison to the past few days she spent kidnapped by straight men. Being driven to a place unknown, far outside the outskirts of Venice, was only the latest addition to the tale.

True, the knife was no longer aimed at her side, but the man driving did not hesitate to send her threatening glares as he drove. Leah sat still in her seat, her stomach now bubbling with fear for her own life, as she watched the black outlines of telephone poles swoop by her against the inky plate of the sky. There was no moon that night, which made the lack of stars all the more noticeable. Leah knew that the lights from the quickly disappearing city was the cause, but she could not help but to wonder if they had all exploded and the sky hanging above her was really just the merging of a million black holes looming above her as they sucked apart the Earth.

Dying via orgy of black holes would be better than this.

Leah placed her hand on the handle of the door, feeling the lock under her fingers. Unless opulent sports cars were different from SUVs, she could pull the lock tab upwards and jump out the open door. But she had the feeling her kidnapper had prepared for that and, even if he hadn’t, she could possibly die from her impact on the asphalt. Then she would be dead, which would leave her off no better than before. All she needed was to get away from this homicidal fuck boy alive, and then she could find the police and go back home to her dorm room and physics classes. She rested against the leather seat, trying to feel some sense of security.

The car really was small.

Like, really small.

The more she breathed, the less air she had, the more the walls would cave in…

“It’s going to take a while,” the man said, hands gripping his steering wheel. “You might want to get some sleep.”

Leah broke from her moment of anxiety long enough to send him a sideways glare. “Why? You plan on keeping me up all night?” she sneered.

He knuckles turned white with pressure, but when Leah thought that he was going to strike her, he released a long and tense breath. “No, Miss Townsend,” he said. “You’ve had a long day and I was worried that you would be exhausted from everything that had happened and figured that you might have wanted to get a little shut eye.”

Leah folded her arms over her chest. Her dress was still damp with canal water and it was starting to get itchy. His jacket was still wrapped around her shoulders, though she started to consider throwing it at his face. “Do you really think I could possibly sleep while you’re kidnapping me?” she demanded.

“You’ve already been kidnapped once.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, great job kidnapping an already kidnapped girl.”

His frown thicken. He said nothing for a long moment and, right when Leah contented herself with going back to their previous silence, he spoke up again. “If you can’t sleep, I could give you a hand and tire you out.”

“I don’t want to know what that means.”

His frown thickened. “Do you always bring things back to sex or am I just lucky?”

“Being forced into prostitution does things to a woman.”

The man leaned back into his seat, a tense gust of air blowing out his nostrils. “This isn’t prostitution,” he said. “Stop being overly dramatic.”

Leah huffed. “Then what is this then?”

He shrugged. “Revenge.”

She stared at him for a long moment, unable to think of some kind of reply. She remembered Hungry saying that the trio who had done this to her were horny assholes, but she would never go as far as to label it revenge. She pressed her lips together, considering her next step. On one hand, she could argue his point out until he took her to the isolated spot, murdered her, and buried her corpse. On the other, she could try talking herself out of his little revenge scheme and get back home with enough time to study for finals. The latter seemed more reasonable. “I know that the girls are being total bitches right now,” she said, hating how she had to lie through her teeth, “but it’s no reason for me to get involved in all of this. C’mon, dude. I’m just a college girl who wanted to graduate with the least amount of student loan possible. Just let me go home and I won’t press charges. Hell, I won’t tell a soul about any of this either! So if you’d just…”

The man looked unswayed. “You’re not as innocent as you claim to be,” he stated.

She scowled. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what it means.” Leah felt another irritated groan rise up her throat, but she held it back with a bit lip. He may not have thought that she was innocent, but she still had the chance of smoothing talking her way out of this. All she had to do was play her cards right. Leah focused on the man once again, starting to ask him to clarify when he took a hand from the steering wheel.  He waved it mindlessly in a bizarre gesture, as though he was whisking airborne dust from his face. “Now go to sleep, Miss Townsend. I’ll wake you when we arrive.”

Her eyes were suddenly very heavy, as if each of her lashes weighed a hundred pounds. She made a small noise as she yawned, stretching her very languid arms. “W-what did you do?” she asked, her voice airy with exhaustion. “Stop—“

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Leah wanted to say that she didn’t trust that, not when he was the one who threatened her. Not when he was the one who dragged her into this horrible mess. But whatever spell he casted on her (Leah was not sure if this “spell” was real or metaphorical) made her head muddy. No two thoughts could connect each other into a coherent sentence to spill from her lips. Instead, she repeated the one phrase that made sense to her: “But I’m a lesbian.”

She fell asleep before she could hear his reply.