#krin-writing

When i was young I had friends

It took a long time, I was scared, but then

I was a kid who had finally made friends

And then i was happy

I trusted them, i loved being around them

I felt like a real person, a kid

And then we had to move

And i was alone

I grew a bit older, went to a new school

I made new friends but not a closely as before

They were there, but we didn't have the same connection

We were very different, never were close to the same

But still, I cared about them.

And then high school drew us apart

And i was alone again

I found my people in high school, i was learning who i am

People who cared about me, some who still think they do

Then Covid hit, and i thought i was alone

But i wasn't, my friends were there

Then i graduated, and we didn't see each other anymore

And i was alone again

Then I went to college, found people who were like me

People who cared, People who wanted to be around the real me

I was happy again, i was me again

And then the summer came

And i was alone once again

Then i went to a beach on a cold lake

I found my family there, waiting for me to return

I had changed, I was a different person.

They loved me all the same

A month went by in the span of a week

And then i had to leave

And i was again Alone

I thought i could open up to people, i thought i could be loved

I bore my heart to people, but in the end, i still ended up

On top of that i am going to be moving house at the end of the month, and will need some time to get back into the groove with the new apartment and the new year of Uni. Will keep you all updated, and I have some back content I can publish, but Calliope may not return for a while.

I will still be posting some writing stuff, and my rants about writing here, but this is just a place for me to do some of the posting with more focus, and keep it clean of all the random things i reblog.

As we passed through that grand door, I wondered what the inscription carved into its center read. As we traveled down a spiraling staircase, I noticed the shadows growing sharper, nearly reaching out of the walls to grab us and pull us into the depths. The depths to which these stairs descended terrified me, going far enough that they could reach the world below. The darkness grew ever greater, as the lamp I carried started to flicker and dim. I tried to pay no attention to it, but the flickering grew faster, and the light dimmed further the deeper we went, stairs endlessly spiraling down, down, down, into the abyss, into nothing. 

I started to try to walk a bit faster, the click of my armored boots growing louder the faster I went. It did not matter, as the faster I went, the more the shadows grew. Reaching out and missing me by an inch each step of the way. I felt the hunger of the darkness grow, and I kept speeding up, my metal boots now sending out ringing pulses with each footfall as I descended faster and faster. The darkness was all around me, so where else could I go? My light dimmed the faster and deeper I went, nearly bowing down to the darkness with every step. The stairs never ending as I ran down them. The stairwell narrowed, the space between each step growing and the space between the wall shrinking. The once echoing pulses of my boots now just ringing out once before being silenced by the dark.

 My light goes out and I don't stop, for if I do that creeping, growing, hungry darkness will consume me once and for all. I couldn’t see but the path is straightforward, just go down. The walls either side of the stairs closing in, slowing me down as I had to turn and twist and contort myself to make it and keep moving, as if the stairwell itself is trying to help feed the darkness. And keep moving, I did, until I fell. It wasn't an easy fall, or a good one. It was a hard, brutal fall, like that of a crate being dropped off a ship onto the shores where no dock may be found. My travelsack spilled down the stairs, leaving me with nothing but the unlit lantern on my hip. I started to crawl and search, and see if anything could stop the ravenous darkness that followed me. 

There was nothing, I was alone in that damn endless stairwell alone, the only company being the darkness that sought my death. I felt it growing ever closer, surrounding me, enveloping me in its cold, hostile grasp. Reaching out for the only thing from my pack I could reach, hoping it could save me. It was my tinderbox. As the darkness moved to finish me off, I struggled to light the piece of kindling in my hand. One strike and the sparks died out in a moment. Two and the kindling does not catch. Three as I feel the darkness maw surrounding me, dripping with hunger. Four and it catches, just bright enough to drive the darkness away.