#kouu

No matter how tall, tough and strong Muu was, in the end, he was a goody-two-shoes. Always talking about providing well for Reim but trying to keep things diplomatic while doing so. Kouen couldn’t count the amounts of meetings and visits both Muu and Kouen did to the respectively other’s country alone in that very year. Kouen would receive countless invitations to festivities and further talks over in the sunny, booming cities of Reim.

And vice versa, it seemed like Muu stayed more nights at the endless rooms of Kou’s Imperial Palace than in his own home. Not that Kouen minded it too much, at least one smiling face in between the stern heads of the Empire. In fact, a brilliant smile even, seemingly taking everyone in and lifting moods easily. Was it envy Kouen felt over the other male’s positive aura? It wasn’t like he could say the same about himself, Kouen being more avoided than talked to willingly.

Maybe it really was a hint of envy, but even though he didn’t like to admit it, also part admiration. Kouen had only ever done what he had been expected to and as such could never gain the favor of the people around him. He had become what the people - the country - needed, but still, his popularity was limited to maybe the few profit-gaining people under the regiment of the Kou-Family.

And yet, he couldn’t begrudge his fellow statesman. While Muu surely had problems of his own to deal with, his raising was just different, not necessarily trimming him down to a hard shell, but instead to someone who had open arms for every issue and willing to compromise and work things over. All things, Kouen couldn’t do even if he wanted to, it was just that kind of difference between them.

His fingers kept tapping the surface of the table before him, a rhythmic but probably annoying gesture for everyone around him. Kouen’s glare was irritated, while he was deep in thought, eyes fixated on Muu, who slowly but surely began to feel a little nervous himself. Even though they had a rather friendly relationship with each other, it was still a little unnerving to be stared at like this.

So, deciding to speak up instead of enduring his ‘friend’s’ mood, Muu cleared his throat, turning towards Kouen. “What’s your opinion on this?” he asked friendly, meeting his eyes in return. There was a moment of silence around the table, when for a second, Muu thought to see a hint of surprise flash over Kouen’s expression, features softening for a short turn of time before the sternness of his expression returned. “Agreed,” Kouen grumbled softly after exchanging a quick look with his younger brother.

Muu found that rather amusing.

Had he just caught the prince in a moment of inattention? Muu couldn’t help but chuckle lightly, making a mental note to eventually bring it up to Kouen in a more private setting. He could barely wait to hear the denial the prince would bring up to stand his ground. Any word of Kouen was gold, may it be something stupid as to deny the lack of attention in a meeting or him babbling on about historical events.

Admittedly, Muu liked him better when he was less tense like he usually showed up at these talks. But he understood and respected his actions, even though, not always agreed with them. It was just the way Kouen was and in that, he was quite astonishing. A fierce warrior and strong support pillar to his country, Muu had so many words of admiration. But he never spoke them out loud, that would have been disgraceful after all.

Muu couldn’t help but sigh inwardly at the thoughts of all the warm evenings the two had shared, talking about sometimes serious, sometimes silly topics over some glasses of wine. Against anyone’s expectations, the prince was a rather pleasant person to be around, if not exactly faced on the battlefield or when there was a formality to be upheld. Muu truly enjoyed their talks and his time with Kouen, even if it was nothing to admit to anyone else.

The groans of all the old men getting up from their seats was what finally wrapped the meeting up. It surely had taken longer than what Kouen had wished for, but after getting busted by Muu, it had at least been shaped by some talks between the two which were ultimately better than just having to listen.

The thought of Muu grinning like an idiot at him after having seen through his inattentiveness still brought a scowl to Kouen’s face. By now, he could very well difference between an honest, nice smile and the one with the slightly narrowed eyes Muu did when he obviously found himself in the right while tearing apart any faults that may arise. In the way he observed everything, he was kind of scary. As if he was always on the prowl, but not like Kouen didn’t appreciate that on him.

Kouen was one of the first one to leave, his rank superior to most of the officials that were there. At least, he tried, but not without picking up one of Kou’s and one of Reim’s ministers having a pleasant conversation with each other. Normally, it wouldn’t have gotten more than a begrudgingly glare from him, but something in their words picked his interest. Especially since it seemed to concern the prince himself.

“Now, with all the meeting we are having, the relationship between the countries is really blossoming.”

“I very much agree. Maybe we should go a step further and root this relationship further with marriage.”

Kouen couldn’t help the flinch in his expression when he heard about the topic of marriage. It had never been one of his priorities and though it was eventually due for him to take a bride, he still didn’t care about it too much. No matter his position and the expectations on him, he had yet to imagine himself as not only a prince but husband, probably increasing all the public appearances. But without being appointed emperor yet, concubines had been as much as people expected him to maintain. Marriage was something completely different.

The scowl on his face reached death-glare stages as his mind drifted further into thoughts about it. He would have almost run over Muu, who respectfully waited at the door for the prince to pass first, if not for the beaming smile that awaited him. The two statesmen made a quiet agreement to leave together, hinting at the good relationship they were supposed to uphold. The conversation was quiet and between them, though if anything it would have been Koumei to hear, who tiredly trotted after them with a good few steps distance.

“Did Your Highness have an epiphany staring at me in the meeting or did I imagine something?” Muu asked teasingly, the smile still playing around his lips.

“I do not know what you mean. I always concentrate on the topic,” Kouen was quick to argue, straightening his walk a little to give his words more emphasis.

Muu didn’t withhold the chuckle falling from his lips, nodding lightly. “I was sure you’d say that,” he admitted. As long as no one listened, both of them were comfortable enough to let the formalities down enough to talk pleasantly, even though Muu sure liked to tease Kouen with it, underlining his position to play submissive. The prince didn’t so much mind that, finding it rather amusing that Muu had this tick in character, always giving Kouen a hard time to argue with him.

“Did you hear about the marriage they were talking about?” Kouen’s attention was immediately drawn, his head turning into Muu’s direction. For a second he tried to decipher his expression, finding a rather unusual look to graze Muu’s usual features. But Muu’s eyes were straight ahead, giving Kouen a hard time to figure out what was going on behind those shining irises. A little hesitant, he turned his head back from the sight, admitting slowly, “Yes, I heard.”

Muu’s voice was softer when he spoke up again after a few seconds of silence, gaze darting downwards to the ground. “If it ever comes to that, I’ll make sure she’s a fine representative of Reim. You don’t have to worry about it.” There was another period of silence between them, Kouen withholding a sigh that urgently wanted to leave his chest. “Thank you,” he eventually mumbled, and Muu only nodded in comprehension.

“Well,” he suddenly chimed, another beaming smile crossing his lips. “See you later then. Make sure not to stare people to death!” Snickering over his own comment, Muu picked up speed, his steps getting bigger than Kouen could match them, until the fanalis darted around the first corner on their way, being completely familiar with the palace's layout to not need someone escorting him back to his room, and out of everyone’s sight.

Had Kouen not been the man that he was, he would probably have looked after Muu in surprise, though instead he just continued on his way to the other meeting he was supposed to attend. It was an understatement that the conversation they just had bothered him, and yet, he remained his composure, though he felt a few stings in his chest from unknown origin. Kouen should have been rather satisfied with knowing he had an excellent negotiator in case he was going to marry someone from Reim, and yet, nothing bothered him more than the thought that Muu would play matchmaker.

It took him too long to realize what the feeling was that was stinging into his lungs and heart, even considering seeing a doctor if it were to continue. He blamed it on not trusting Muu enough to find a good match for him, maybe even blaming himself for putting trust into someone that very clearly was in his way when it came to Kouen’s aim in life. It would have taken him so much longer if not for the few drinks the two shared that night in private.

Kouen didn’t remember the last time someone was able to make him agree that he hadn’t been the best like he always was, but admitting it to Muu wasn’t as hard as he thought in the end. All the hard feelings he had thought about hours before were gone after a few drinks too and when they sat in silence, watching the night sky, Kouen let them pass through his mind again, while Muu hummed quietly into the night.

“It’s a shame we can’t always just sit together like this,” Muu remarked, taking another sip from the liquor.

It hit him like a fighter crashing into him, and for the first time, Kouen felt a new sort of panic rise in him, reminding him that following orders and rules was the sole purpose of his existence. The dread of having to be a prince and do what was expected from him felt surreal suddenly, but no matter how much he tried to suppress it, it was still right there, stinging in his chest like it did the very same hours before. He looked up and for a split second wondered if his face looked like he felt. Muu watched him curiously, sitting relaxed on the floor next to the table, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

He didn’t want to marry anyone.