i started listening to the amelia project with nary a worry in sight.

“oh!” i thought, “a quirky little episodic story about a death faking agency, seems fun and low stakes.”

so i took my time. i was even able to take it slow instead of binging the whole show, since i wasn’t compelled to listen to a new episode every time i finished one. AND FUCKHC THEN.

we hit season 4. and shenanigans ensue, and it’s fun and i’m listening because, yknow, i wanna get the gang back together.

AND THEN SUDDENLY THE INTERVIEWER ACTS STRANGE. NO MORE CACAO? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? so i’m terrified, out of my mind. what’s cracking? hm? what’s up? (not to mention koslowski and his own mysteriousness, made all the more mysterious by his lies to the CIA).

AND THEN THE INTERVIEWER STARTS TO LOSE HIS MEMORY?

when i tell you i was worried, panicked — even. the plot thickened and my brain was wracked. i needed to know.

and then it’s episode 55. i’m sliding down a wall, mouth open in shock.

then it’s ep 56. season finale. i’m down for the count, sobbing, heartbroken.

WHERE DID MY LOW-STAKES DEATH FAKING STORY GO? HM? WHERE? instead, i find myself more emotionally attached than i had ever previously thought i was. EMOTIONS? suffering (complimentary). that’s what i am. suffering.