#koolschmoolrevue

The Pledge- 2001. this movie pissed me off so much it brought me out of the 10 month slump of sharing reviews. Starring Jack Nicholson, Aaron eckhart, Patricia Clarkson, Robin Wright, Benecio Del Toro, Vanessa Redgrave, Helen Mirren, and fucking Mickey Rourke with a Harry Dean Stanton feature... In my mind I read all those names and directed by Sean Penn and think hmm, it's got to be good. It's the third film directed by Penn and combined with all of the above and the "crime mystery" genre one would think this shit is worth sitting 2 hours for. The story follows retired cop Jerry (Nicholson) as he deliriously tries to solve the murders of 3 little blonde girls in the middle of Nevada. Eckardt plays the new jackass cop who literally says nothing except how crazy Jerry is. I kept waiting for things to resolve, plot lines to tie together and for Jerry to solve the big mystery but none of that happens. At any point. The only reason anyone would watch this is to get mad at a handful of famous actors together on screen. Each character (outside of the 2 leads) gets 5 minutes of airtime which plays like a newbie student film complete with weirdo zooms, edits, pans, & Jerry talking to himself while chain smoking. Theres also a good 30 min in the middle of the whole thing just showing Jerry fishing and buying property. This is one of those projects that proves talent ain't everything. You need more than a name and a deep pockets to make a movie worth anything. Penn eventually kind of figures this out and recovers with his follow up- Into the Wild but dang he took a long way to get there... Overall one star- i hate this movie. #koolschmoolrevue #moviereview #thepledge #jacknicholson #whattowatch #hbo #hbomax #seanpenn #2001 #revue #movierevue #filmreview #currentlywatching #murdermystery #moviestowatch #moviecritic #filmschool #nowstreaming #robinwright #harrydeanstanton #mickeyrourke #helenmirren #beneciodeltoro #badmovies #badmovie #aaroneckhart #vanessaredgrave #patriciaclarkson (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CK7J7o7jGcv/?igshid=38w8ljwfloqs

I had this whole great review typed out but then I found Upton Sinclair’s preface.................“So long as there shall exist, by reason of law and custom, a social condemnation, which, in the face of civilization, artificially creates hells on earth, and complicates a destiny that is divine with human fatality; so long as the three problems of the age—the degradation of man by poverty, the ruin of women by starvation, and the dwarfing of childhood by physical and spiritual night—are not solved; so long as, in certain regions, social asphyxia shall be possible; in other words, and from a yet more extended point of view, so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, books like this cannot be useless.” #lesmiserables #victorhugo #frenchrevolution #history #koolschmoolrevue #schmoovierevue #moviereview #whattowatch #hbo #uptonsinclair #revolution https://www.instagram.com/p/B-A-dmmDOw2/?igshid=19hrcd16xh01p

The day after tomorrow- 2004- I’d be willing to bet most people don’t know this is based on the book- “The Coming Global Superstorm” which predicts global warming will cause collapse of the Gulf Stream producing a cataclysmic super storm over half the earth. The movie- follows paleoclimatologist/dad Dennis Quaid on an epic journey to save baby face Jake Gyllenhaal & friends. Emmy Rossum cuts her leg pretty badly & saves a strangers passport- narrowly escaping a massive tidal wave that swallows greater Manhattan. The eye of the storm, which instantaneously freezes everything and everyone in its path, settles exactly where everyone’s taken shelter. Watch to see how the fate of the world plays out circa early 2000s climate thriller. 3 stars bc it was good then, is good now, and Roland Emmerich knows how to make a disaster movie. #koolschmoolrevue #schmoovierevue #moviereview #thedayaftertomorrow #globalwarming #whattowatch https://www.instagram.com/p/B9SuUALDD_d/?igshid=1njzel6owzliu

Tolkien- 2019. Notoriously disavowed by the Tolkien estate, this biopic takes A LOT of creative liberties with it's narrative considering it's based on an actual human person. Thanks to the early 2000 LOTR films coinciding with my own coming of age, I learned early that Hollywood can spin thick webs out of good books while simultaneously building an audience of millions. FWIW I also may or may not have had a life-size Legolas cut out (🙃 @huntleywoofs) Anyway, the best part of Tolkien is the WWI scenes but I also stan war flicks. Could've done without the drunk elvish babbling and randomly redundant discovery of words. Read the books and you'll understand his penchant for language. Otherwise this is a 2 star biopic about an incredible writer - READ THE BOOKS. P.S. can we talk about the new #LOTR series coming to Amazon next year? what have you heard and will you watch it? #schmoovierevue #koolschmoolrevue #whattowatch #moviereview #lordoftherings #tolkein https://www.instagram.com/p/B9CxexJjlKK/?igshid=vj41444ts0ws

sucker punch-2011- woah. out of all the movies i've missed i'm REALLY glad i caught up on this one. initially i thought this was just another corny womanizing action flick, boy was i wrong. remake/comic/superhero master, Zach Snyder's first original story follows the "Babydoll" in all of us navigating war, dragons, orc's, mental health and friends all to realize, naturally, that we're our own worst enemy duh. A+ for the steampunk nazi's and cast. Minus points for the music videos, soundtrack, and old man riddles. Overall 2.5 sword yielding babes. Jenna Malone & Vanessa Hudgens are really great. Also everything is dirty. #suckerpunch #koolschmoolrevue #schmoovierevue #whattowatch #moviereview p.s. I’ve lost 2 followers since starting this. LOL https://www.instagram.com/p/B9AIrBwjM1A/?igshid=1xtz6isa5wrjn

“Her Smell”- 2019- elisabeth moss (madmen, the handmaids tale) as a spun out riot grrrl Courtney Love type. Cara delevingne, agyness deyn, Dylan gelula co-Star (Philly Rep). The never ending abusive narcissism of Becky something plays like any substance fueled wanna be rockstar binge. If you have the patience to watch a second time, it’s less annoying and actually kind of cathartic. Brought to you by local #philly #filmmaker Alex Ross perry. this inspired my bandmate to write songs which to me, says a lot. 3 stars because I watched twice, Elisabeth Moss is rly good, and there aren’t many fictional #grrrl band #movies . #koolschmoolrevue #schmoovierevue #hersmell #moviereview https://www.instagram.com/p/B8-TLmbjpgO/?igshid=1fvzcijs25bsr