#konkata

So much for a quick and easy fight.  Not that he had truly hoped for one.  On the contrary, he was ready for a real battle.  He had long been on edge over the Choshu’s antics and it felt good to final have some manner of concrete action against them.  The last few days had been long and hard to extract the intelligence they had needed to corner the rebels and to have finally brought it all down to an actual battle… it felt right.

Toshi still clenched his sword in his fist as he surveyed the results of the skirmish.  His own men were busy arresting the remaining Choshu dissenters and treating his own wounded comrades.  He started silently taking a roster of his troop captains and men.  But there was one person he could not lay eyes on and it plucked at a place deep in his chest.

“Vice Captain!”

He turned at the sharp, high voice that cut through the general noise around him.  Pushing through the shifting crowd of people came a short young man with bright eyes under a sweaty hachigane.  

Kamiya Seizaburo hurried up to Hijikata’s side.  He was breathing heavy but seemed otherwise unharmed and the vice captain was glad to see him whole.

“Report, Kamiya-san?” he asked as he wiped the blade of his sword before sheathing it and giving his attention to his man.

The small bushi gave a sharp nod and began rattling off the names of Choshu men captured, which of their own men were receiving first aid, and what property damage had been done.  But he did not say where Captain Kondo was.

Hijikata frowned and looked away to peer through the confusion of men.  “Where is the captain?” he finally asked.

Kamiya glanced over his shoulder, rising up on tiptoes briefly, before pointing back towards the front door of the inn.  “I believe Kondo-sensei has stepped inside.”

The vice-captain nodded curtly and headed towards the entrance.  “Good work, Kamiya.”

The young man looked a little surprised. “Thank you, sir.”

Hijikata did not need to wind a path through the throng of people as Kamiya had.  Most moved right out of his way, some as if moved by an unseen force.  No one tried to stop him to speak.  Anyone who looked into his face could see that he was not about to pause for anything.

He stepped inside the inn and paused to look about.  Broken furniture laid strewn across the open room.  There was blood on the tatami and even some sprayed across the wall.  The air smelled sharp enough to make Hijikata want to wrinkle his nose.

On the other side of the room, he finally saw whom he was searching for and felt the tension in his chest lighten a touch.

“Kondo,” he quietly called out, briskly picking his way through the debris.

His friend lifted his gaze from the stack of papers he was examining.  “Ah, Toshi.  Everything is in hand outside, I trust.”

Toshi gave a sharp nod and swallowed down the thick relief that coated the back of his throat.  “The troop captains have everything under control.”  He hesitated a moment before he quietly added, “And you?  Are you well?”

Kondo smiled easily, with a fondness that almost never failed to warm some part of Toshi’s heart, even at times when he did not want to be warmed.  “Your worry is plain.  Yes, I am just fine.”  Now that Toshi was within reach, Kondo stretched out a hand to affectionately rub his friend’s shoulder.

After a brief moment of hesitation, and ears carefully pricked to the sounds of others, Toshi stepped in close and brought his forehead to Kondo’s.  “I will always worry for you when we go into battle.”

“And I for you,” Kondo replied, wrapping his broad hand over the back of Toshi’s neck.

Toshi closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deep.  There was very little else in this world that mattered to him as much as Kondo Isami.  Sometimes he worried as the Vice Captain, but right now he worried as a friend and lover.

Kondo removed his head from Toshi’s temple, but only so he could press his lips to Toshi’s instead.  “It is so hard to send you into a fight when I cannot be by your side,” he murmured.

Toshi took hold of the collar of Kondo’s kimono and pulled him in closer.  With their armor still on, it was impossible to feel the heat of his captain’s chest again his own, but he still craved him to be as near as possible.  

“Have I not told you before that there is no need to worry for me?” Toshi chided.  With a wry smirk, he quietly added, “I wouldn’t dare die without you to send me off.”  He nipped at Kondo’s lower lip.

Kondo sighed and tried not to tighten his jaw, a bad habit that led to more headaches than he cared to admit.  “Don’t joke about that.”

Toshi shook his head and wrapped his arm around Kondo’s waist as he leaned away slightly to smirk.  “Kat-chan, you are too easy too rile.  Do not worry.  I promise I will not go before you.”

“You know that I cannot help but worry.  You are so hot-headed.”

The vice-captain flashed a bright grin, one that rekindled a flame that always kept Kondo’s heart warm in the absence of his best friend.  “And that is why you love me.”

Kondo couldn’t stop a small smile from cracking.  “Yes.  It is one of the reasons why I love you.”

Toshi leaned in and melded his mouth to Kondo’s one last time before letting go and stepping back.  He carefully checked his armor and clothes for any signs of Kondo’s affection, though he had no expectation of finding anything.  Kondo always waited until they were sure they were alone to tear away Toshi’s clothes.

“Come back once everything is in hand and we will go from there,” Kondo said in a louder voice than he had spoken since Toshi first arrived.  “And I expect a full report once we have returned to headquarters.  Tonight.”

Kondō took it upon himself to make this happen. He met with Yagi to obtain permission to use the family bathhouse and then set to work arranging everything. Dinner was a tense affair, and there was very little talk. Hijikata’s mood was so foul that it permeated the entire room. The captains quickly finished their meals and excused themselves, soon leaving Kondō alone with the brooding Hijikata.

“Toshi.” Hijikata’s gaze shifted from his tray to him, and he could see a sort of wariness briefly before the spark of irritation returned. Kondō heaved a sigh. “I should apologize.”

“For what?” he snapped. 

“It seems I’ve overburdened you with work. I-”

“No,” Hijikata interrupted forcefully. “I won’t let you take the blame for my mood.”

Kondō leaned forward, grasping the hand that rested on Hijikata’s right thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Then let me give you some peace of mind.” 

Hijikata appeared as if he was going to protest–his mouth opened but then quickly shut when no words could be found–and he closed his eyes with a sigh. “Fine.”

“Don’t let me be a bother to you,” Kondō murmured as he started to withdraw his hand from Hijikata’s.

He was surprised when Hijikata gripped his hand tightly, and their eyes met. Kondō could see a war of different emotions–irritation and fondness–within them. “Kondō-san, you aren’t fair.”

“No?” his inflection rose at the end of the word.

“You know I don’t consider you a bother, so why do you insist on using it to get me to do what you wish?”

Kondō laughed. “Because I know it works. And because I know that you’ll enjoy this. Now, come on…get your bath things.”

Kondō rose from his cushion and made his way to the door amid some mild protest from Hijikata. “What? You’re going to make me walk all the way to-”

Kondō looked over his shoulder at Hijikata. “No. We’re staying in tonight. Meet me at the family bathhouse.”

And Kondō took his leave. He returned to his quarters just long enough to gather his bath things and making his way to the bathhouse. He was the first one there, and he made sure the fire heating the bath was stoked enough to keep the water warm. He then shed his clothing and entered the dimly lit room. He carefully stepped into the water–blissfully hot–and settled himself down. 

He didn’t have to wait much longer. He soon heard the distinctive heavy footfall of an irascible man, and the corner of his mouth twitched upward. The door slid open with a snap, and he heard the muffled grumbling of his lover as he came into the bathhouse and shut the door behind him.

“Oh good, you made it.”

“It was hard to get here without certain nosy people noticing,” Hijikata groused before sliding a foot gingerly into the water. The man let out a hiss as he quickly withdrew. “This bath is too damn hot.”

“I never thought I’d live to see the day when you, of all people, would complain about bath water being too hot,” Kondō chuckled.

Hijikata just glared at him as he continued the process of entering the bath. Kondō watched him and found himself admiring the lithe build of his lover, the way his dark hair slithered over his shoulders and down his back. Every line of his body was sleek, strong, and graceful, which was a direct contrast to his often abrasive nature.

But Kondō knew how vulnerable this man was. That beneath his temper and strength was a man who cared very deeply and was driven to do what he could for the one he loved. It was something Kondō admired in Hijikata. He was drawn out of his thoughts by more griping from Hijikata, and another deep sigh escaped his lips. 

“This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

Hijikata abruptly stopped mid-sentence, and his eyes snapped up to Kondō’s face in shock. His eyes were wide, and his lips slightly parted. Kondō couldn’t help the good-natured chuckle that rumbled from deep within, and he opened his arms wide to accept the man in them. Hijikata sighed and turned so that when he sat, his back was flush with Kondō’s broad chest. Kondō wrapped his arms around Hijikata’s torso, noting how chilled Hijikata’s skin was compared to his own.

“Let me warm you up,” he murmured against the sensitive skin of Hijikata’s neck as he bent forward and placed a kiss there.

He felt a little tremble. “You’re too good to me, Kat-chan.”

Hijikata’s head snapped to the left to pierce him with his gaze, and Kondō felt his heart skip a beat and his stomach drop. He knew then that whatever was bothering Hijikata had to do with him. His tongue sucked on his teeth behind closed lips as Kondō recognized the ugly emotion in Hijikata’s purple eyes.

 Jealousy.   

It had been some time since that emotion had reared its frightful head, and Kondō wondered why it was happening now. As he took another step closer to Hijikata, he decided that he did know, and he was just trying to deny it. He had been to Edo to see Otsune. What was confounding was that Otsune had been a fixture in Kondō’s world for some time, and the ferocity of Hijikata’s ire toward her should have lessened somewhat. Especially when Kondō thought he had made it clear where she stood compared to Hijikata in his life.

“How was Edo?” Hijikata asked stiffly, his attention having returned to his work. 

Kondō settled himself into informal seiza beside Hijikata. He took the question as a good sign that Hijikata wasn’t as upset as he could be, and he was attempting to work through his deep-seeded feelings.

“Fine. Everyone sends their regards.”

“Hmph.”

Kondō closed his eyes and exhaled, working to keep his patience. He loved this man, but Hijikata could be trying when he was moody like this. Kondō learned that Hijikata would often become taciturn as a sort of defense, and it was a silent plea for reassurance. Sometimes, Kondō wished that Hijikata wasn’t like this, but then…he liked watching Hijikata soften under his touch and his praise.

Kondō shifted so that he was sitting in formal seiza behind Hijikata. He saw the man tense but knew he wouldn’t remain that way for long if he had anything to do about it. Kondō reached out and took Hijikata’s ponytail into his hand, feeling some fine strands slip through his fingers. He brushed them over Hijikata’s right shoulder to expose the back of his neck. His fingers ghosted over the smooth skin there, and he grinned when he saw a tiny tremor go through the lithe man’s body.

Kondō leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss where his fingers had been only moments before, and he saw Hijikata’s shoulders drop just a tad. He smiled against his skin, knowing that it would take a little more work, but soon, Hijikata would be much more pleasant. He continued to trail kisses down his neck and then began to move to Hijikata’s right. His hands came to rest on Hijikata’s shoulders.

As his lips pressed to the juncture of neck and shoulder, he felt Hijikata pull away as a hiss emitted from the Vice Commander’s mouth. Kondō straightened up, his brows furrowing as he watched Hijikata slide back enough to turn his head and pin him with a ferocious glare. Kondō was caught completely off guard, and his stomach knotted.

“Toshi-“

“Why are you coming to me smelling like her?” His accusation was a slap in the face. Kondō opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Hijikata took his silence as permission to continue. “The least you could’ve done was bathed to lend some credence to your lie!”

Kondō’s eyes narrowed. “Toshi.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“You know why.” Kondō’s reply was cold. “I have a duty. And it wouldn’t have looked good if I hadn’t spent time with Otsune and Tamako while I was there on official business.” Hijikata turned his whole body away, and Kondō sighed. “And I’m not lying to you.”

“Did you enjoy it? Did she caress you the way you like?” His voice became more and more petulant as each question rolled out of his mouth. “Did she whisper into your ear? Did she-“

“Enough!”

Hijikata’s eyes barely widened at hearing the deep agitation in Kondō’s voice. It was clear he had never heard this fervor directed at him in their intimate moments, and it rattled him. Kondō felt the silence fall upon them, hot and heavy, and he forced himself to focus on breathing deep. He had no idea why, all of a sudden, Hijikata was acting like this. 

Kondō knew Hijikata was jealous, and he thought that he had worked through that. It had been years since the marriage. Kondō thought he had expressed how he truly felt about the whole thing, but perhaps he wasn’t transparent enough. He heaved a sigh as a hand came to scrub the back of his neck.

Kondō scooted forward, a tentative hand reaching out. It hovered briefly over Hijikata’s cheek, and when it became apparent that Hijikata wouldn’t pull away, Kondō caressed his face. Kondō saw Hijikata immediately relax into his touch, and his eyes closed. Kondō knew then that they were going to slip into their old routine, but this time, he was going to make damn sure that Hijikata would no longer doubt him.

“You know I had to marry. I didn’t have a choice.” A pause, to gauge Hijikata’s response. When none was forthcoming, Kondō continued. “And, as far as wives go, Otsune really isn’t that bad.”

“Kondō-san,” Hijikata replied with a tiny hint of a whine in his tone. “I don’t want to hear-“

“But you need to. Otsune knows.” Hijikata’s eyes snapped open. “Of course she does. She’s known since the beginning of our marriage. And she accepts that my heart belongs to someone else.”

“It would be easier if she just yelled at you for it,” Hijikata grumbled.

“Stop it, Toshi. I won’t let you hate her. I’m lucky that she is so understanding. She makes my duty a little easier to bear.”

Hijikata made to pull away again, but Kondō removed his hand from his face and wrapped his arms around Hijikata, drawing him to him. Hijikata only resisted aa tiny bit, but he nestled his face into the crook of Kondō’s neck. Kondō began to stroke the top of Hijikata’s head but found the ponytail got in the way. He pulled on the tie, and the dark cascade of hair fell around Hijikata’s shoulders before he began running his fingers through.

“She makes it easier…because she never asks for more than I’m willing to give her.” Kondō stopped speaking for a moment to enjoy the feel of Hijikata’s hair slipping through his fingers and the gradual relaxation of the man in his arms. “But what makes my duty bearable is that I have someone to whom I can give my soul.”

A soft snort. “Kat-chan…how can you say such things?”

He chuckled. “Because someone needed to hear it.”

Quiet. He could tell by how bonelessly Hijikata sat in his arms that the obstinate man had acquiesced. Kondō sighed, hoping his words were enough to assure Hijikata. He was the only one for him…he was the one that gave his life any meaning beyond what was expected of him.

“I don’t hate her. I just…I didn’t want to think about you being in someone else’s arms after all this time.” Hijikata finally murmured, his words somewhat muffled by Kondō’s hakamashita.